I watched her, dark beauty sparkling in the moonlight. She spun around as the rain fell around her, like diamonds on her dark hair, her pale skin. I smiled at her, but decided not to join her in her unholy, seductive dance at her invitation.
You took your coat off and stood in the rain
You were always crazy like that
I watched from my window
Always felt I was outside looking in on you
I never quite understood her. Granted, I came closer than most, but the things she saw, the things she said, were mostly for her and her alone. "The stars are crying, Spike. They're crying for Princess." She murmured before floating away, out of my grasp.
You were always the mysterious one
With dark eyes and careless hair
You were fashionably sensitive, but too cool to care
Then you stood in my doorway, with nothing to say
Besides some comment on the weather
I knew she didn't love me, had never loved me in fact, but I had always turned a blind eye to it. I still loved her, always had and always will. Did she really have to flaunt her discontent like this? She selected a minion to dance with, share her moment with, pressing her beautiful body to his. I turned away from the window, clenching my fists so tightly that blood ran from my palm, dripping to the floor unnoticed.
Well in case you failed to notice
In case you failed to see
This is my heart, bleeding before you
This is me down on my knees
I've cried myself to sleep every night, unknown to her, at least I think so. Who knows what she knew? She might have known those nights I longed for her to be strong and loving like the Slayer, or sweet and pure like her redheaded friend. Angelus never knew, will never know what he has in that blonde, and Red, well, I think, deep down, she knows that her wolf friend loves her like she's always wanted, even though he doesn't talk much. Oh, yes, I knew this. Watched 'em. But Drusilla... she's my addiction, and it's tearing me up inside.
These foolish games are tearing me apart
Your thoughtless words are breaking my heart
You're breaking my heart
Drusilla came inside from the rain, her clothing soaked. "Why didn't you join me, Spikey?" she asked sweetly. How could I tell her what I was thinking?
"I don't like the rain, luv." I lied. She smiled wickedly and I flinched at the fire in the depths of her eyes.
"Poor Spikey. Reminds you of holy water, does it? Princess likes it though. Come outside for Princess?" Her rantings and ravings scare me sometimes. Drusilla reminds me of holy water, not the rain. "The stars are singing us a beautiful song to dance to, Spikey." She began to twirl around madly, and I took her hands to dance with her, my movements not as smooth as hers because I could never hear her music. And sometimes I doubt that I'd ever want to.
You were always brilliant in the morning
Smoking your cigarettes, talking over coffee
Your philosophies on art, Baroque moved you
You loved Mozart and you'd speak of your loved ones
As I clumsily strummed my guitar
"Spike, when will you kill the Slayer for me?" She whispered childishly in my ear. "You promised me we'd dance on her grave, just like this."
"When it's time, ducks, when it's time."
"The mouth sings the most beautiful music. It rivals the stars, so loud it calls to me." How could I tell her I no longer wanted to kill the gorgeous Slayer? She would surely kill me if she knew. The things I've felt recently, the things I learned about myself when I was without her... I almost wish I'd never met her.
You'd teach me of honest things
Thing that were daring, things that were clean
Things that knew what an honest dollar did mean
So I hid my soiled hands behind my back
Somewhere along the line I must have gone off track with you
I pulled myself away from Dru and strode out of the room angrily. This wasn't what I wanted anymore. I can't live her way anymore. I've got to get her out of my system somehow.
"SPIKE!" She wailed. "YOU'VE BEEN TAINTED!" I no longer cared what she thought. The minions no longer listened to her, so far she'd sunk since I'd tortured her. "Spikey and my Angel are gone, Miss Edith." I hear echoing through the halls, and I shudder, not wanting to know what she'll do, but a part of me no longer cares. I see the sun beginning to rise, and I let the curtains fall over the window.
Excuse me; think I've mistaken you for somebody else
Somebody who gave a damn
Somebody more like myself
"Spikey, it's time for me to say goodbye." She stood in my doorway, and I half jump in surprise.
"Goodbye, luv?" I pick up a bottle, doesn't matter what's in it, and I drink from it. Vodka. It burns all the way down to my stomach, and I take another drink.
"You've left me like my Angel, and now it's time for me to leave." I turn to stop her, but she's already gone. And I'm relieved; this will make it easier for me.
These foolish games are tearing me apart
Your thoughtless words are breaking my heart
You're breaking my heart
I hear the door open, and I pull aside the curtain slightly to look outside. The sun illuminates her with its golden rays through the rain, and she turns to smile at me as smoke begins to rise. I close my eyes, letting the curtain fall back, and sink down to the ground, still clutching the vodka. I take another drink as I begin to weep. Hopefully, this will be the last time. Hopefully.
You took your coat off and stood in the rain
You were always crazy like that
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