JOHN BRYNE

ReekDog: So tell me John, why are you so prominent online, in interviews and newsgroup debates? I have found most creators to be rather snotty when it comes to such things, and yet you seem to enjoy it quite a deal.

John Bryne: I don’t get out much. Actually, I find the people on the internet to be of a different breed of fan, unlike those who normally come to the cons or whom I might meet on the street.

RD: Yeah, they are all shut ins who are so undersexed they wouldn’t know what to do with a woman if she showed up bare ass naked. How can you put up with most of their rhetoric?

JB: Oh, its not so bad. I just seem able to relate to them. You do have the occasional AOLer who is suspect of tomfoolery, but overall, they are great people.

RD: Yeah right. Anyways, so everyone asks you about your new status at Marvel, and what you are doing there. I don’t care about that shit though. I want to know how they can even afford to pay you, or look you in the eyes when you walk down the halls?

JB: Hmmm, how can I be diplomatic on this one? Marvels current financial situation is such that they have had to allocate funds from other sources to provide the value for my...well, value.

  RD: So in other words, Bob Harras is selling crack on 123rd to pay the bills?

JB: I don’t find that funny! 

RD: Yeah right. Well, how is it coming back to the “House of Ideas” after all these years?

JB: It hasn’t been THAT long. I worked on Namor and She-Hulk just, oh it seems not as long as it really is. But it has only been a few years.

RD: True. But in the time since then, there has been so much restructuring, that you must seem like the old goat on the block. Marvel now has more college kids in their employ than Bill Clinton. Do you find the legend status hard to deal with?

JB: Not at all.

RD: Ah, there’s that Bryne ego I have heard so much about. So, I know you an Claremont have no contact, but the rumors of Larsen leaving Wolverine to head the new Wonder Man title leave a vacancy for two very demanded writers to take over. I personally think the title should be canceled, but if Claremont turns down the offer, will you take it on?

JB: I have heard some rumblings of this. I really couldn’t say at the moment. I am still working on the Next Men, and Spiderman, as well as several other projects. However, if the opportunity were to truly arise, I may accept. It is still all speculation though.

RD: Well Claremont is such a hack now, I figure he will take any offer he can get his hands on. I mean, what’s his run time since X-Men? 8, 9 issues?

JB: Chris does have a problem with employment, yes. I believe he has written himself into a rut, and forgotten how to get out. Until he does, I am sure there are plenty of publishers (such as Random House) who would love to read his many ramblings.

RD: Ouch!

JB: Well, I meant that in the highest regard. Supermarket checkout lines are a completely reputable place for literature.

RD: Okay. Well before we start a little war here, lets move on. I have read some of what you have posted on this new Batman/Supes Elseworlds series. Now first of all, I don’t understand why you think you can ink such a project yourself, but also, why even do this? Don’t you realize what a monumental continuity problem this will cause? Elseworlds or not, I thought Kingdom Come was an Elseworlds story as well?

JB: Kingdom Come became such a convoluted joke, I don’t even know how it ever got approved past the editors. The Golden Age Marvel Family in future continuity? I just don’t understand what they were thinking!

RD: Umm....yeah, but Ross is a great painter. Don’t you think that had something to do with it?

JB: Ross IS a great painter. But as a comic artist, he still lacks many things. I prefer museums for when I want to see ART.

RD: You don’t consider Ross an artist, what are you, retarded?!?!

JB: Do you want to end this interview now?

RD: Hmmmm...

JB: I find Ross to have some prospect, but I think it is too early to tell if he has a real career ahead of him. I can see him perhaps painting stamps for the U.S Postal service in a few years. I just will have to wait and see.

RD: So tell me, why do you ink your own work?

JB: What sort of question is that?                                

RD: You know exactly what kind of question that is. Many people say you ink like a penciller. Don’t you find some truth to that?

JB: I have worked with the greatest inkers of our time, and none, NONE of them ever did true justice IMHO to my work. One day, while doing the Doomsday Squad, I decided to ink a page. I found I loved it. Then while doing OMAC I decided to ink the whole thing, and it looked beautiful. So during my run on Namor, I replaced my inker, and experimented with many styles until I found one which suited me. And there is the story on that.

RD: Yeah, whatever happened to Desmond Marrs anyways?

JB: He killed himself.

RD: But his ghost came back.

JB: Well in my version, I had planned for the Red Ape to gain power after the Super Skrull had left the Savage Land in chaos, and use the powers of Marrs Corp to his bidding.

RD: That and his many, many....Monkees.

JB: Yes. His Monkeys.

RD: And....you were really going to do this?!? How did the Punisher fit into all of this?

JB: The Punisher was only there to serve as a catalyst. I had never drawn him, and wanted to try my hand at Mr. Castle. Also, the powers that be were pressuring me at the time to bring readership up, with the use of guest stars.

RD: Such as Wolverine and the Punisher?

JB: Well it was 1992.

RD: Yeah, that’s an excuse. To continue along my online forum, what do you really think of Miss Elayne?

JB: Elayne? Oh, well, she is the most famous non-working person in our industry.

RD: Well I heard that you had enough or her “reviews” and said some harsh words about her. Is that true?

JB: In all truth to be told, I respect deeply what Elayne does. It is how she conducts herself which is another matter. She berates and belittles comics online, claims fame and accolades from doing this, while she has no true skill at what she critiques.

RD: Sort of like a movie critic or a CNN reporter.

JB: Well have you seen her?

RD: Yeah, she is a reject from a trailer park. I know. Is that what it’s all about then? Her obese stature?

JB: I refuse to comment on that.

RD: Coward. Say it, she’s nasty as hell.

JB: Lets just leave it at that.

RD: Ok, last question. Guy Gardner. What’s he missing?

JB: Besides a ring? Well, if I had my druthers, I would take Guy back to his roots, and delve into his character. Find out why he would ever be chosen to be the 2nd Earth GL. Retcon here or there, and perhaps make it tie in to the current storyline in GL. I have plans for all of DC’s lower rung characters. My Dr. Midnite proposal was very highly regarded by the editors at DC. We just have to wait and see if it ever sees the light (hehe) of day.

RD: I hate the word Ret Con. If I ever hear a real person say that other than in a newsgroup message, I will kill him. And piss on his body.

JB: What?

RD: Thanks for the interview John!