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LOVE YOUR PET
Your dog may not do much all day and you may feel you
would like to trade places with him, but maybe it's not such a great idea.
BLACK WIDOW SPIDERS FOUND
This took place at Williams shop a few years ago. Everything’s
all right now.
THE WEIRD MAN
This is a guy that lives in our town of Klunkerville. They
call him the wierdman because he does everything backwards. He wears his
glassess upside down. He wears coats in the summer and shorts in the winter. He
likes soapsuds in his soup. He got a bigger hard drive for his computer so he
could fill it up by typing the letter O over and over. His favorite show is the
test pattern. He says he likes the colors and could watch it all day. He is upset
because it's only on in the middle of the night. Watch out for he has a brother
just like him.
UNCLE SNIFFLES
My uncle sniffles has a solution to everything, including
a runny nose.
Curly Q The Curly Head
Curly Q the curly head,
She laughed so hard from morning to bed.
She laughed so much she went in sain,
For she had done blown her brain.
The doctors tried to fix this mess,
They couldn't do much but they did their best.
She did get better but laughed again,
But this time they took her to the Looney ben.
MY PET
FISH
I had a pet fish who had a very interesting life.
A little kit named Spike Crump came over and when I wasn't looking took the
fish and stuck him in the toilet bowl so he would have more room to swim.
I went in and accidentally flushed the toilet. So long fish.
After a while the toilet started clogging. We had the septic dug up and sure
enough the problem was the fish. He was still alive and grew super large and
that's what caused the blockage.
He was removed and is now in display in a 24-foot aquarium at a place with a
plaque saying,
SARAH THE FAMOUS SEWER FISH
DISCUSSING COMPUTERS WITH A COMPUTER ILLETERATE
Have you ever tried to talk about computers to a person who does not know a
single thing about them? It can be a real challenge. Here is an example of what
can happen by doing this.
Me:(I’ll be this part since I’m so smart) I guess I will go on line and work on
my website.
Other: What are you doing? Hanging yourself on a clothesline and crocheting
giant webs? Or is that a club?
Me: No a website is what I go on the computer with.
Other: Don’t tell me you stick your computer in a giant spider web.
Me: I use it to check my email.
Other: wouldn’t it make more since just to go to the post office then to use
spider webs for your letters?
Me: No you don’t understand. I had to install at least windows 98 into my
computer with better ram chips to do this.
Other: now that is just plain silly. Why would you ever stick a pile of windows
into your computer and chips on top of that. Your suppose to eat chips, not
stick them into computers.
Me: These are a different kind. I even had to have a good hard drive for this.
Other: Well I wouldn’t doubt it. I think I would take a long hard drive myself
too if I was to hang around in spider webs all day and stick potato chips and
window pains into a computer.
Me: I’m afraid you don’t understand a thing I am saying.
Other: of course I do. I’m no moron.
Me: well I must get going for my computer needs a new antivirus.
Other: There you go again. Now you have your computer getting viruses. What
does it have? the cold?
Me:see you later.
