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You sit smug next to her
but she's sitting next to him and he
wants me
I grabbed for him desperately, gratefully
when he became smarter than
and the others I know
but I tried too hard to distance myself...
for what?
why do you still have this power over me?
why do I still beg you to watch that game
with me
to come to that concert
for me?
will you watch me sing,
throw me a three dollar bill and
a plastic rose?
are you going to soothe my wounds
with Vitamin E and bullshit?
I watch you stride through my bedroom door
like a god leaving his own temple

forgive me father for I have sinned

10 December 2000