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the evilest man in the world
is in love with me
he comes into my bed at night,
strokes my hair and whispers:
"Ten thousand today, Eva,
the men are so efficient."
his mustache tickles me as he kisses my neck,
crooning: "Isn't wonderful, liebechen?
The count is nearly three million."
he flicks off the light
so the faces in my head are magnified,
projected into the black air.
I watch my best friend from school, Elsa,
as she climbs into a cattle car, waving to me.
"See you when we get there," she calls.
the only one who I see now is him,
this distorted man touching my cheek,
kissing my stomach in the dark.
now he moves above me and I
cannot refuse him.
I want to scream, but instead I breathe:

27 June 2001