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I know why you kissed me
You donít have to explain--
I think I understood before it even happened

Your mouth tasted like treason.

Every time I undress in front of the mirror
I look at my hips and remember
how you hooked your thumbs through my belt loops
I couldnít escape
and when you started breathing faster in my ear
I was trapped
You possessed me
chanted your narcissistic spell like youíd do for any girl
I shook
Iím shaking now

It shames me that I am not stronger

Iím not a hopeless romantic
if I were, Iíd feel obligated to allow you a chance
to court me and be a prince
just because you were my first--
but I wonít
My body is not a temple:
it is the Taj Mahal
and the entrance fee is something you can never afford
Go stare at your reflection
Iíll cry in someone elseís arms and then
Iíll forget you

25 June 2000