for Sam, six months after the fact
I would have asked you if you were in love with her
(had I known there was a “her” to ask about)
but you weren’t, were you?
otherwise you would have stayed behind
instead of driving with me to pick up pajamas and toothpaste,
sitting in the passenger seat rattling your Altoids tin
and popping one into your mouth ambitiously.
I wish you had kissed me.
I know it’s better you didn’t.
I’m still trying to forget the way you
rubbed my knuckles raw with your fingertips
and the memory of your mouth on my mouth would be overwhelming.
I am certain that you went home
and kissed your other half more fiercely and desperately than you’d ever imagined
you could,
just to prove to yourself
that what you had was right and not worth risking.
I know
because that is exactly what I did.
I only wonder if it worked
for you.
-MWE
21 April 2002
