By: Rinny (RinnyJJ@aol.com)
Disclaimer: I don't own Dawson's Creek or anything related to it so please don't sue me.
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Part Five - Knight in Distress, Damsell in Shining Armor
"You can stay with us as long as you want, if you can handle the human alarm clock, fondly known as Alex waking you up every hour on the hour." Bodie said as they pulled up to the house.
"Thanks but I'll only be here over night." Pacey said.
"Okay, but our doors are always open." Bodie replied.
"I completely forgot about Dawson." Joey announced, "I was supposed to meet him and Jen to pick up movies, like, five hours ago." She grabbed the box from the truck and went inside. She went to the phone and called his house.
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The phones ring went unheeded. The TV was showing only snow and Dawson and Jen were fast asleep on Dawson's bed.
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Bodie went straight to the bedroom he shared with Bessie, who was already asleep. Alex had already been asleep for a while when they came home. Joey and Pacey were trying to figure out the sleeping arrangements.
"Pacey, you can't sleep in the kitchen!" she yelled as loud as she dared, so as not to wake the baby.
"Why not?"
"It's cold, hard, and you wouldn't fit." she silently added, *and you wouldn't be near me.*
"Where else am I going to sleep?" He asked innocently, knowing there was no where else but her bed, which doubled as the livingroom couch. *No matter what happens in my life, I will always love making her squirm.* he thought and smiled inwardly.
Joey thought for a minute, *How can I say this without embarassing myself in front of him for the thousandth time. Oh, well, one more time can't hurt.*
"You'll sleep in my bed. I know I've never been your fantasy of the perfect bedmate but you don't have a choice unless you sleep in Alex's crib or outside and you won't fit in the crib and spending eight hours in a bed with me has got to be better than death by exposure to the elements and you'll need the extra warmth because it's going to be cold tonight so just change and brush your teeth and do whatever else it is you do to get ready for bed." she finished hurridly in one breath. She was blushing furiously.
"Breathe, Joey, Breathe." He said with a kind smile and pulled out his stuff.
"I'll get changed first." she grumbled and pulled out her nightshirt and retreated for the bathroom to get changed and get ready for bed. When she returned the bed was already pulled out and made. Pacey went into the bathroom with an armfull of stuff. When he returned all he wore was a pair of boxers, his hair was wet and a few drops of water fell onto his chest. She followed the drops of water as they made trails down the planes of his chest. *Whoa! When did he start working out?* Joey hadn't seen Pacey without a shirt since the whole snail incendent a few months ago. His chest was considerably wider, his abs and pecs were more defined and his biceps had increaced about two centimeters in diameter.
Pacey saw her staring at him and checked his fly, he didn't have one on his boxers, "What?"
"Hmm? Oh, nothing . . . nothing. He definitly has the bigger biceps." She mumbled thinking back to a conversation she had with Dawson a couple of months ago. He sat next to her, his knee touching hers. Joey stole a glance at him, he was looking at the floor, his face and muscles strained. She lifted her hand to the back of his neck and massaged it with her fingers, she could feel the tension drain from his neck. She moved behind him and began working on his shoulders with both hands.
"What are we going to do about where you live?" Joey broke the silence.
"We?" He moaned as she found a knot in his back and worked it loose, "Since when do you care about me? All of this, why?
"Pacey, I've always cared."
"Oh, so that's why we're always at each others throats." he said sarcasticly, "You always acted like you couldn't stand to be around me. What changed? Is it that you feel sorry for me now?"
"No, Pacey, no." Joey was getting the feeling that Pacey believed she hated him. "You've always been one of my closest friends. We've always had this banter between us. I take my agressions out on you and you take yours out on me. I never knew it affected you, you always let whatever I said roll right off your back. If I had known you faced it day in and day out at home from people who meant it, I wouldn't have said half the things I did to you. I just assumed you were okay with it. I regret everything I've said to you that has hurt you in anyway. And I regret that I never, in all the years that I've known you, took the time to get to really know you."
At first, as in the last 6 years, he'd used the insults as a cover for his feelings for her, but the last 6 months they were just out of habit.
"Pacey, you're special," Joey continued, still rubbing his back, "You take everything I say in stride. I couldn't do that with anyone else. Dawson would take it way to personally, Bessie would kick me out, and there's no one else I'm that comfortable with. Dawson's the friend I go to if I need someone to talk to and you're the friend I turn to when I want to have fun. You're both just as important to me. But I think it's time that I evened out things. If it really bothers you, then I'll stop. But I enjoy our sparring matches, it's fun to trade wittisisms with you. I'll lay off on the direct put downs though." She paused, "Thank you, Pacey."
"For what?" He asked enjoying the feel of her long fingers soothing and molding his tired muscles.
"For being my friend, for being you." she said simply.
"Thanks," he said gratefully. It had been so long since he had gotten a direct word of praise from her. "Okay, stop, I feel like a piece of overcooked spagetti. I owe you a massage."
They climbed under the covers together, it was a tight squeeze, the fold-away-bed wasn't made for two. "Pace," Joey said after a while, "Where are you going to stay after this?"
"I'll probably stay with D for awhile, then see what happens."
"You know if you go there, Mrs. Leery will make you stay forever. That means Dawson day in and day out. Think you can handle it?"
"Yeah, I just can't believe they kicked me out. You think they could have waited a while after Andie died," his voice cracked on Andie's name. "What am I going to do without her? I need her." His silent sobs racked his body and shook the bed. She had never seen Pacey like this, but then she was seeing a lot of different sides of Pacey today. She remembered back when her mom died, she had been like this and Dawson had been there holding her hand the entire time.
Joey reached out and searched for his hand and when she found it she squeezed, It didn't seem to be enough. "You may not believe me, but it does get easier. Share your pain with the people who love you and slowly it will get better." She turned onto her side and for the third time that day she wiped the tears off Pacey's face and pulled him into her arms. He nestled his face into her neck, he put his arm over her waist and pulled her closer, she smoothed his hair and sang him a lullabye. Slowly his tears ceased and he drifted into sleep, her soft voice warming him like a candle defying the darkness.
Sleep continued to allude Joey though. *I can't believe I'm holding Pacey. Worse, I can't believe I'm enjoying it. It must be some maternal instinct thing that I never knew I had.* His warm breath tickled her neck and his skin was warm and smooth to the touch. She treasured the sensation. *He needs me.* she thought happily. Pacey's presence fed a part of her that had been starving for years. She needed this. She needed to feel needed, it was something she'd never felt before, she was always the one in need, with Dawson and with Bessie. *Dawson never needed me this much, Bessie and Bodie certainly don't need me, exept to baby-sit Alex. No one's needed me before.* She felt Pacey shift in his sleep and he moved his arm so it fell across her hip and curved around her back. *Except Pacey.* she thought dreamily and fell asleep.
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Pacey awoke to the wails of Alex. He felt warm and comfortable. He looked at Joey, she was smiling in her sleep, *dreaming of Dawson, probably.* He slowly extracted himself from Joey's arms and moved to the crib.
"Hey, little man," he whispered as he scooped Alex into his arms. "What's up, you tryin' to wake up your Aunt Joey?" He slowly strolled around the room with Alex gently bouncing him in his arms. "Do you need a diaper change?," he asked in a soothing tone, "Is that the problem?"
Joey woke when Pacey had gotten up, she listened to him talk to her nephew.
Pacey proceeded to clean Alex and put a new diaper on him, mumbling to himself and Alex. "There all set." Pacey announced and lifted Alex into his arms. Joey stared at them, he looked so natural holding Alex in his arms. Pacey had removed Alex's PJ's to change him so all he wore was a diaper the sight of Pacey and Alex together held Joey awstruck, he gradled the baby so gently. It amazed her how well Pacey and Alex connected. He would never stop crying for Joey, but the minute he saw Pacey his face would light up. *He'll make a great father.*
"So Alex, I bet you're curious about why your Uncle Pacey's here." He crooned softly to the baby in his arms. "I can barely believe it myself. Everythings happening so fast. So many things have happened in so short a time. I feels like school started years ago, but it was only a few months ago." He strolled around the cramped living room.
"I know what you're saying, Littleman. 'Get on with it Uncle Pacey. You're always taking to long to tell me stories. I haven't got all night.'" Pacey's voice went a few decibles higher as he imitated Alex.
"Okay, so here's what happened. My girlfriend, Andie, you remember her, right? She and I came and babysat you a few times. Well, she's gone now. She died. She's up in heaven with your grandma. Anyways, I've been really sad. So has your Aunt Joey, Uncle Dawson and Auntie Jen. It's hard losing someone you love." He looked adoringly at the little boy and sighed. "You would have loved your grandma. Your Uncle Dawson and I practically lived here up until she left to heaven. She used to make us these special picnic lunches. She's the one who taught me how to draw. You would have loved her. I'm glad she's up there with Andie. You would have liked her too. She loves babies. She would have played with you for hours and hours. And read you stories and loved you."
"Alex you are so lucky, to have so many people in your life that love you. I know sometimes your Aunt Joey complains about you waking her up, but she still loves you. And your mommy and daddy adore you. They will never hurt you. And there's Dawson and Jen and me. I bet even Mrs. Ryan loves you. Do you remember her? She was the first person you met after your mommy." Pacey paused and went to the kitchen to get a bottle.
"'Get to the point Uncle Pacey'" Pacey imitated. "Right, right. You haven't got all night, I forgot. So the reason I'm here. See, my father doesn't love me and neither does my mom or sisters or brother. My mom wouldn't leave him, she could have saved me from it, but she didn't. Not that I blame her, she's weak and he prayed on it. My brother and sisters conformed to his wrath. I wasn't going to be who he wanted, I didn't want to be a clone of my brother. Anyway, because I'm not the person he wanted, he wanted me to leave the house forever. So tonight your Aunt Joey wanted me to stay here. Tomarrow I'll go stay with Uncle Dawson. Have I bored you to sleep yet? Pretty close."
As Alex drifted to sleep, Pacey thought, *It's amazing how trusting babies are, how soft and loving.* He placed Alex back in the crib and turned back to the bed and was reminded why he was there in the first place, *I was kicked out.*
Joey laid back down when Pacey put Alex back in the crib and could now feel Pacey's eyes on her. He stood there staring at her for a while before climbing back into bed. He burrowed himself into Joey's arms and sighed, *At least I have her.* It was his last coherent thought as he sank into oblivian.
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To be continued
I'd love to have feedback. I don't think this part is as good as it could be, but oh well. What do you think of Pacey's convo with Alex? Sorry about the dialouge. I was never very good at writing it, but if you have suggestions let me know.
