Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. I am not profiting from this. Yada yada yada.
Background: This takes place towards the end of "To Be or Not to Be." It starts off where Pacey is sitting on the dock after being suspended, but Andie never shows up. Instead, another person comes to support Pacey.
Category: Possibly Triangle or Rectangle, but eventually P/J
Author's Note: I really want advice/feedback. Please. I have no idea where this is going.
Joey walked up to the dock and found Pacey in almost the same position she had left him the night before. She wondered if he had even left. He was leaning backwards, supporting his weight on his arms, and looking out towards the ocean. The early morning sun played across his features, highlighting his deep-set eyes and making his hair appear to be golden. Joey stopped to stare at him for moment, and she felt that she was seeing him for the first time. Sometime within the last year or so, when Joey hadn’t been paying attention, Pacey Witter had grown up. She hadn’t missed the actual growth spurt. When they had turned fourteen and he had a few good inches on her for the first time since they had known each other, he had made sure she knew about it. But she had missed the weaning away of the baby fat, which made his cheekbones stand out, the gradual change in the shape of his mouth, so that his lips seemed to always be on the verge of a sardonic smile, and the development of muscles in all the places that let the world know that Pacey Witter was no longer a little boy. Joey wondered for a minute what she had been doing when all of this had been happening, then she realized that she had probably been doing what she was always doing when important events took place: sorting things out with Dawson. She walked up behind Pacey and cleared her throat.
“Hey Mister, do you know where a girl can find a good time around here?”
Pacey looked up and grinned. His eyes danced as he teased her, “I have been told that I know how to show a girl a good time. Do you think you can handle it?”
“I don’t know. What do you think?”
“I am willing to give you a try,” he said, then continued in a different tone, “I got the truck. It’s parked on the street. I figured it would be best if you were a truant in a city other than Capeside. What do you say we drive to Boston?”
“Sounds good,” she replied as they made their way to the truck.
They drove a half an hour in silence, each mulling over his or her own thoughts. Suddenly, however, Pacey remembered what he had meant to ask her the moment he saw her that morning.
“So, how did it go with Jack?”
“Well, he says he is not gay and that from now on, all the poems he writes are going to be about me, but . . .”
“But?”
“I don’t know, Pacey. It was just weird. After I asked him, he kissed me, and it was different. I don’t know if it was different because I had introduced a new awkwardness into our relationship by questioning his masculinity, or maybe it was different because he is, in fact, gay.”
“So, basically, you’re not satisfied with his answer?”
“Well, it’s just that there are some things that need explaining, and Jack being gay would be a pretty good explanation.”
“Like his inexplicable love for art?” Pacey chuckled.
Joey rolled her eyes and muttered, “Among other things.”
There was an awkward silence. From the tone of her voice, Pacey gathered that she wasn’t too eager to share what those other things about Jack were.
Joey finally spoke up. “So, what’s in Boston?”
“Well, in about fifteen minutes, we are.”
“Ha ha ha, oh King of Hilarity. I mean, what are we going to do there?”
“I don’t know. Get some lunch. See a movie. Whatever we want. We’ll just be able to do it without the burden of a whole town of people who recognize us on sight and will report our activities back to my father, your sister, and a slew of other people.”
“Good thinking. So, have you talked to Andie?”
“Andie who?”
Confused, Joey answered, “Andie McPhee, your girlfriend, Jack’s sister?”
“I know who you’re talking about. When I said, ‘Andie who?’ I meant to imply that for the present tim,e my relations with Andie have been terminated.”
“She’s still disappointed in you?”
“I don’t know. Probably. More importantly, I am disappointed in her.”
“I can understand that. She’s supposed to support you, right?”
“Not just me. She’s supposed to support Jack, too. And this argument just made me realize something about our whole relationship. Andie’s never really supported me. She’s just supported what she wanted me to be. And if she can’t accept me, as is, then the confrontation with Peterson is the least of our problems.”
“I know what you mean,” said Joey, quietly, thinking about the many times in her relationship with Dawson where he had tried to turn her into some archetypal movie heroine rather than accept her for who she was. “You know something, Pacey?” she went on, unable to look him in the eye. “If she doesn’t smarten up and apologize, it’s going to be more her loss than it is yours.”
Pacey looked over at Joey, who seemed to have found something extremely fascinating in her thumbnail. He didn’t know how to respond to that, and she didn’t know what to say as a follow-up, so they drove the last ten miles or so with Joey’s last remark hanging in the air.
************************************************************
When they got to Boston, Pacey found a parking space just off of Newbury Street and they began to explore the city on foot. They first made their way down the boutiques that populated both sides of Newbury Street, then to the neighboring shopping districts. Eventually they found themselves in an upscale clothing store where neither could afford to shop. Against her better judgment, Pacey talked Joey into trying on some clothes, while he sat in one of the chairs usually reserved for tired husbands and tolerant boyfriends.
“Joey, come on out. It can’t be that bad.”
“You’re going to laugh.”
“I always laugh at you. It’s what I do best. It shouldn’t make you not want to show me the dress. I picked it out after all.”
“I look silly.”
“Josephine Potter, I demand that you come out of that dressing room, right now.” The door of her stall opened slowly and Joey peeped out, scowling at Pacey. She hesitated briefly, then stepped out from behind the security of the dressing room door to model the dress for Pacey.
The dress was made of a light silk fabric that Joey seldom had occasion to wear. It was pale gray, with a tinge of blue that made her eyes brighter, her smile more mysterious, and her beauty more distinctive. The garment was formfitting on her upper body, setting off her slim waist, but then it flared out and flowed down her legs, ending about midthigh. As she approached him, Pacey let out a low, but loud, wolf-whistle that made everyone in the store turn to stare.
She gawked at him. “You did not just do that.”
“You’ve got to get it, Joey.”
“Pacey, make no mistake. Just because you’re bigger than me does not mean that I still can’t beat you to a bloody pulp.”
“I am serious, Jo. You look gorgeous.”
“Yeah, right,” she mumbled, examining herself in the floor length mirror. Even her abnormal insecurity couldn’t stop her from admitting to herself that she made a pretty picture.
“You’re getting it.”
“No way. It’s too expensive. And it’s not like I have anyplace to wear it.”
“Weren’t you the one who has been having doubts about her boyfriend’s sexuality? Trust me, no male is going to see you in this and be able to resist you. Any thoughts that Jack had about playing for the other team will go flying out the window.”
“I can’t afford it, Pacey.”
“You’re birthday is coming up. I will get it for you. It will be an early present.”
“I don’t know. . .”
“No arguments. Go change, then we’ll go buy it. And hustle it up in there, I am getting hungry.”
Not feeling capable of winning this little battle, and not really wanting to, Joey obediently went back into the dressing room and slipped into her jeans and sweater, putting the dress neatly back up on the hanger.
After they bought the dress, they found a little Chinese restaurant and got lunch. While they ate, they reminisced about things they did when they were children. When the check came, there was a small squabble over who was going to pay, but Pacey won out again. While the waiter got Pacey’s change, they munched on their fortune cookies. Pacey read his fortune aloud, and waited for Joey to do the same. Joey just sat staring at the little scrap of paper.
“Joey, what does yours say?”
“Nothing,” she said.
“What do you mean, ‘Nothing?’ It has to say something. What does it say?”
Pacey didn’t even crack a smile. Before she could anticipate his movement, he
quickly grabbed the paper from her hands and read it aloud.
“Love can sometimes be magic. But magic is sometimes just an illusion.”
Pacey looked at Joey waiting for some explanation. When one wasn’t forthcoming,
he said, “Why didn’t you want to read this?”
Joey shook her head, realizing that she was being silly.
“I don’t know. It just rang a little to true for my taste.”
“Jo, just stop worrying about Jack and. . .”
“I am not just talking about Jack.”
“Dawson?”
“Yeah, I guess,” she said as the waiter came back to them. They got up from the
table and left the restaurant. “You know, Dawson keeps telling me that we’re soulmates.
And that bothers me, because, how can you know who your soulmate is when you’re only
fifteen? But more than that, something else bothers me. There’s the idea that maybe I
will never know who my soulmate is, and that love will always be an illusion and that just
makes me want to hang on to Dawson or Jack or whatever else is near and safe.” Pacey
listened to her outpour in silence, thinking about Andie. Maybe the same was true with
him. Deep down, he knew that he had all the same romantic notions as Dawson and
Joey, and having been hurt so many times when it came to love, romantic or not, maybe
he held onto Andie, not because he loved her, but because he wanted to love somebody.
“I guess I understand what you’re saying. I suppose that’s all that Andie and me
were. . .an illusioin,” he said sullenly.
Joey looked at him, concerned by his sudden sadness.
“Don’t say that, Pace. Andie will realize what an idiot she’s being. And then
everything will be great. Andie’s not stupid enough to let a guy as wonderful as you just
slip away.”
Despite himself, Pacey smiled.
“So, I am wonderful guy, huh? Well, Jo, if I didn’t have it on good authority that you
were in love with a gay man, I would think that you have a little crush on me.”
“Don’t flatter yourself,” Joey said, blushing faintly. If she didn’t know better herself,
she might agree with Pacey. Today was the first time in a long while that she had hung
out with Pacey, and she was having a lot more fun than she cared to admit.
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