Falling in Love Is Hard to Undo

by:Shirley

"Joey?" Jen said. "I know it's the first day of school and all, but there's no need to wear such a large frown on your face."

"Hi Jen," Joey said.

"So, you ready?" Jen asked.

It was the first day of their junior year and Jen had agreed to pick Joey up. Joey closed her front door and made her way down the steps with Jen. They walked in a moment of silence before Jen finally spoke.

"So, did you talk to Dawson yet? He came back last night," Jen informed.

"No, not yet. I was occupied with other things," Joey answered.

Pacey, Jen thought. She knew the answer even without Joey telling her. It was a week ago since they broke up. Every time that Jen saw Joey, she was miserable and Pacey didn't look too good either.

"Andie came back the day before, right?" Joey asked.

"Yeah. Pacey came over to pick Jack up before they went to pick up Andie," Jen said.

At the mention of Pacey's name, a new wave of sadness swept over Joey's face.

Opps. Bad choice of words, Jen thought. She looked over at Joey.

Joey didn't say much to her about her break up with Pacey, but Jen knew it was eating her up inside.

"Listen, Jo, I know that you and Pacey were tight, but maybe it's time for you to forget the whole ordeal and move on," Jen said in a soothing voice.

"I can never forget, Jen," Joey said.

"But, Joey, it's making you miserable. Why can't you two just be friends again?" Jen asked.

"It's not that simple, Jen, "Joey said. "I can't even bare to look at him anymore."

"Because you hate him?" Jen asked.

"No, because I don't," Joey answered.

Jen looked over at Joey and could see tears welling up in her eyes. She instantly put a comforting arm around her. Wow, Jen thought sadly, Pacey must have meant a lot to her. Who would of thought? Pacey and Joey?

"Dawson!" Jen exclaimed as she spotted her friend at his locker.

"Jen!" Dawson said, giving her a huge hug. He pulled away and saw who she was with.

"Hi Joey," he said.

"Hi Dawson," Joey replied.

Things with Joey and Dawson were still on the rocks. They haven't spoken to each other over the whole summer. Dawson didn't know that Joey had forgiven him. Joey would of told him if it wasn't for that little incident that made her lose all her control and forget about Dawson. Joey saw that uncomfortable look on Dawson's face and realized that he was probably afraid that she was still mad at him.

"Dawson, listen," Joey started. "I've been doing a lot of thinking over the summer and I realized that it wasn't your fault that my father's in jail."

Dawson's face instantly lit up.

"It's a new year, and I've decided I wanted to start off fresh," Joey said with a smile.

"I'm glad you feel that way, Jo," Dawson said with a huge smile. "So, we're cool now?"

"You got it," Joey said reassuringly.

A couple of months ago, Joey was mad as hell at Dawson. But now, she realized that she didn't want to fight anymore. Her life has been blessed with certain people and she should appreciate them. And besides, it was nice to have her best friend back.

"Pacey!" Dawson suddenly shouted. Everyone's head turned to see Pacey, Andie and Jack approaching them. Pacey ran up to Dawson and gave him a friendly hug.

"Nice to see you again, Pace," Dawson said.

"You to D," Pacey replied.

"Well, now that the whole gang's back together, why don't we all do something after school?" Jen suggested.

"Oh, we would love to, but Jack and I can't. Daddy's taking us out to dinner," Andie said.

"Okay, what about you guys?" Jen said as she turned to the others.

"Sorry, but I won't be able to make it either," Dawson said. "Dad's celebrating my return with a fancy dinner."

Jen turned to Pacey and Joey. "What about you...two?" Jen's sentence automatically slowed down when she realized who the two people left were.

Pacey look at Joey and Joey returned his stare. For a minute there, they all stood there in an awkward silence.

Jen's eyes bounced back from Pacey to Joey. Uh oh, she thought.

Pacey finally snapped back into reality. "Uh, I think you better count me out too."

"That's probably for the best. I don't know if Jen can keep you and Joey from ripping each other apart," Dawson joked. Only Andie laughed along with Dawson. The rest of them just stood there stiffly.

Jen finally managed a giggle. "Yeah, I think you're right Dawson. So it's just you and me, right Jo?" Jen asked as she turned to Joey.

"Yeah, sure," Joey said, managing a small smile.

"I can't do this, Jen, I can't," Joey said as they went window shopping at Capeside Mall.

"Can't do what?" Jen asked.

"Be around Pacey," Joey replied. "It's too hard. Did you see what happened this morning? Thank god Dawson and Andie didn't catch on."

"I was holding my breath in too," Jen said.

"I don't know how I'll be able to do that again," Joey said, browsing through a rack of clothes.

"That's it, Joey," Jen said firmly. "I've put up you moping around Pacey and you constantly sighing for too long. It's time for you to get your life back on track."

"But..." Joey started.

"No but's Joey. Are you going to let some guy do this to you?" Jen asked.

"He's not just some guy, Jen. It's Pacey," Joey said softly.

"Exactly my point! Two months ago, you would of cared less whether or not Pacey liked you or hated your guts! Come on Joey. This is Pacey we're talking about. The same guy you made a real mud pie for. . . and he actually ate it and believed you when you said it was chocolate!" Jen exclaimed.

"Yeah, I remember that," Joey said with a smile. "We were six. God I hated him then."

"And there's no need for that to change. Are you going to let the same guy who told the entire third grade that you lice ruin your life?" Jen demanded.

"No," Joey answered uncertainly.

"What? I can't hear you?" Jen said.

"No!" Joey said more confident this time. A lady near by gave them a weird look. Joey gave an apologetic smile and turned to Jen.

"You know what, Jen? You're right. I'm not going to let Pacey out of all people do this to me! Come on Jen, let's go get some ice cream to celebrate!" Joey yelled as she grabbed her friend's hand.

"Alright! That's the spirit!" Jen said with a grin. They made their way out of the store.

"I don't know what came over me," Joey said to Jen. "I mean, it's just. . . Pacey."

Jen looked up to see what made Joey's words slow down. She gulped. It was Pacey. Two feet away from Joey. They had just crossed paths. What great timing, Jen thought to herself.

Pacey and Joey just stood there staring at each other for the second time that day. Jen looked at Joey and then to Pacey. They were both mesmerized. Not again, Jen thought to herself.

"Hi Pacey," Jen said, breaking the silence.

"Hey," Pacey said, his eyes still on Joey.

Silence.

"So," Jen said. "How have you been doing?"

"Fine," Pacey said, still looking at Joey. "What about you?"

Jen didn't answer. It was obvious that he was asking Joey. She waited for Joey to answer, but her friend just stood there. Jen nugded Joey.

Joey snapped out of her trance. "Huh? Oh...fine," she finally managed to say.

"That's good," Pacey said. He finally tore his eyes away from Joey and looked at Jen. "Well, I've gotta go."

"Bye," Jen said as she and Joey watched Pacey walk into the distance.

"Joey," Jen said. Joey continued to stare after Pacey.

"Joey," Jen said, a little more loudly this time.

"Huh?" Joey finally said and looked at Jen.

"Remember what we said earlier? That Pacey's not worth your unhappiness?" Jen asked.

"Oh, yeah. I remember," Joey said.

"Good, just making sure," Jen said.

"Don't worry, I'm over him," Joey assured.

Yeah, right, Jen thought to herself. Joey was anything but over Pacey.

Pacey's finger flipped through a rack of CD's, although his attention was far from them. He thought back to his little encounter earlier with Joey at the mall. He was just making his merrily little way down the mall, when Joey and Jen stepped out of the store, crossing paths with him. As soon as he saw Joey, he was mesmerized by her. Sometimes, he wonders if breaking up with her was the biggest mistake he ever made. Why did he break up with her again? Oh, right, because of Jack and his little speech about Andie.

Andie didn't seem to know what happened between him and Joey. Thank God Jack didn't squeal on him. Jack said he wouldn't rat on him, for Andie's sake. Pacey was glad. He didn't know how Andie would take it. Andie still meant a lot to him. Things were going well with him and Andie. They had fun together. But something was missing. He looked out the window and saw Joey and Jen walking by.

But she's not Joey, he said to himself.

Joey stuffed her books into her bag and closed her locker. She wandered down the hallway and she spotted Dawson and Jen standing in front of the school's bulletin board.

"Hey guys," Joey said as she made her way behind them.

"Joey, guess what?" Dawson said. "There's going to be a welcome back dance this Saturday and Jen and I were thinking that it would be fun if we all went together."

"A dance? I don't think so," Joey said.

"Oh, come on Jo. It will be fun," Jen insisted.

"I don't know..." Joey said.

"Hey guys," Andie's voice suddenly boomed out. Everyone turned to see Pacey and Andie behind them.

"Hey," everyone greeted.

"What are you all talking about?" Andie asked.

"Well," Dawson started. "There's going to be a dance this Saturday. We were all thinking about going."

"Correction, they were thinking of going," Joey said, pointing to Dawson and Jen.

"That sounds like fun," Andie said. "Let's go Pacey."

"I don't know..." Pacey said.

"That's exactly what Joey said," Dawson said. "Come on you two, where's your school spirit?"

"Dances aren't exactly my thing," Pacey explained.

"And I'm not exactly the queen of dancing," Joey added.

"Don't worry you two. None of us here are experts either," Andie said.

"Yeah," Dawson insisted.

"Well..." Pacey said.

"I..." Joey began.

"Great! It's settled then. We're all going this Saturday," Andie said happily.

"Yeah, great," Joey mumbled.

"I can't believe it's Saturday already!" Joey exclaimed. "Why am I going again?"

"I don't know," Bessie answered while washing the dishes. "But you better get dressed because Jen and Dawson are picking you up in forty-five minutes."

"Maybe I should pretend to be sick," Joey said thoughtfully.

"Joey, you're not in sixth grade anymore. And besides, what harm can a little school dance do?" Bessie asked.

"A lot, especially when someone who you're trying to avoid will be there," Joey answered.

"Oh Joey, still? I thought you said that you were over Pacey," Bessie said.

"I am," Joey insisted.

"No you're not," Bessie objected.

Joey sighed. "I know, but I can't help it. I don't want to feel this way, but I do. Oh, why does it have to be over Pacey?"

"I don't know. Why does it?" Bessie questioned.

"I don't know. I knew it. I knew I shouldn't have let my guard down and fall for him. I knew it wouldn't work out. I knew it. But I did," Joey mumbled.

"And you regret it?" Bessie asked.

"Yes," Joey lied. No matter how much she was hurting now, she wouldn't trade her time with Pacey for the world.

"Liar," Bessie said.

Joey frowned. "Well, I guess I better go change now."

"You better. You're down to thirty-six minutes," Bessie warned her sister. She watched her sister run out of the room.

"Wow, it looks beautiful in here," Andie commented.

"Yeah, it does," Pacey agreed.

The school gymnasium was covered with silver and white balloons. There were streamers everywhere and a huge sign that read "Welcome back Capeside High" hung over the doors. Lights of all colours swirled around the room. There was a magical feeling.

"This will definitely be a night to remember," Andie predicted.

"Definitely," Pacey agreed. "So what do you say, McPhee, you want to dance with me?"

"I thought you'd never asked," Andie answered with a smile.

The two made there way to the dance floor and began dancing to the music.

Joey, Dawson, Jen and Jack were the next ones to enter.

"Wow," Jen sighed.

"The school really out did themselves this time," Jack said.

"I guess it's alright," Joey said, although she felt the magic of the night making its way into her.

"Just alright? This place looks like heaven, except a lot more louder and a lot more darker," Dawson said. He paused for a minute. "Okay, so maybe it's not exactly like heaven, but it does look nice."

Joey chuckled. "You are a dreamer Dawson, that's for sure."

"I don't think anyone can disagree with that," Jen said.

Dawson rolled his eyes.

"Come on guys, that's enough chit chat. Let's start dancing!" Jack said.

The four made their way to the dance floor and started to dance the night away.

Pacey closed his eyes and held Joey close to him as they swayed to the soft slow music. Holding her felt so great. He remembered the time when they first danced underneath the stars at Cliff's party. It was then that they had their first kiss. Her hair was so soft, her skin was as smooth as silk and her scent was that of flowers. Wanting to revisit the romantic time they had, Pacey inhaled some of Joey's scent. His nose filled with her perfume, only this time, the scent was...different. He opened his eyes and he realized why the smell was different.

He was dancing with Andie.

Pacey felt like such a jerk. Here he was, dancing with a wonderful girl, and all he could think about was dancing with another. He shook his head. To his delight, the song was ending. This would give him time to get off the dance floor, clear his mind and to get something to drink.

"Hey, guys!" Andie called out.

Pacey turned his head and saw Joey and Dawson approaching them.

"Hey," Dawson and Joey called out.

"You guys having fun?" Andie asked.

"Oh yeah, a blast," Joey said rolling her eyes.

"Don't listen to her," Dawson told Andie. "That smile hasn't left her face the whole evening."

"Hey, why don't we switch partners for the next song?" Andie suggested.

Oh no, Pacey thought alarmed. Say no, Dawson, just say no.

"Sure!" Dawson said. Dawson took Andie's hand.

"Joey, Pacey, why don't you guys dance together?" Andie said just before she and Dawson made their way to another part of the dance floor.

Pacey and Joey stood there awkwardly for a minute.

"Um, we don't have have to if, uh, you don't want to," Pacey finally said.

"Uh, no it's fine," Joey said after a moment. She placed her hands on Pacey's shoulders and Pacey placed his on her waist.

Pacey instantly shut his eyes. Oh no, he thought to himself. This was the same song that was playing the first time he and Joey danced...and kissed. Not only was it awkward enough dancing with Joey, but their song just had to be playing. He glanced at Joey. He could tell that she was just as uncomfortable as he was. She caught his glaze and managed to give him a half smile.

"You look beautiful tonight," Pacey blurted out. Joey stared back it him in surprise. Pacey wished he'd never said that, but for some reason, he felt he just had to. Now, the moment was more awkward than ever.

"Uh, thanks," Joey said. "You look great too."

Now it was Pacey's turn to stare in surprise. He would of never expected her to say what she had just said. It must be something in the air.

"So, how are you?" Pacey said, feeling the need to talk to Joey, wanting to hear her voice again.

"I've been better," Joey said truthfully.

"Oh," Pacey said softly. He looked into Joey's eyes and realized how sad they were. His heart instantly sank. How could he do this to her? How could he cause so much pain for her?

"So you hate me, huh?" Pacey asked.

Joey looked into Pacey's eyes. "I could never hate you, Pacey," she said softly.

A mixture of joy and sadness swept over Pacey. Joy because Joey didn't hate him, but sadness because he wasn't with her anymore. They became silent once more. They continued to sway to the music. At first, their movement was stiff and awkward, but now, after being in each others arms for so long, they let their guards down and just enjoyed being in the company of one another.

This is the way it should be. The way it should always be, Pacey thought to himself. To his dismay, the song came to an end. They lingered in each other's arms for just a while longer until Joey decided to pull away.

"Well, thanks," she said as she made her way off the dance floor.

The next song came on. People began to dance again, but not Pacey. He just stood there. Staring after Joey. Their few minutes together was enough to remind him of their times together. And he missed her. A lot. Things were so confusing for him now, but there was something that was clear. He wanted her back.