Let It Be
Part: 5
By: Shirley
E-mail: msdaydream@hotmail.com
Disclaimer: Don't own Dawson's Creek.
Author's Note: This is my favourite chapter yet! Please write to me and tell me what you think. Oh, and look for the return of two Creekers!
Joey rolled around in her bed for the twentieth time that night. She couldn't fall asleep, not after what happened tonight. Her thoughts flashed back to earlier that night.
Joey and Pacey finally broke away from their kiss.
"Pacey, what are we doing?" Joey asked in a voice just above a whisper.
"I don't know, Jo," Pacey answered, still holding Joey in his arms.
"Maybe we should just forget this ever happened," Joey suggested, though all she wanted to do right now was to kiss Pacey.
"Is that what you really want?" Pacey asked her.
"No. What I really want right now is for you to kiss me," Joey said, surprised at herself for just blurting that out.
"Do you know what?" Pacey asked her.
"What?" Joey asked.
Joey expected an answer, but instead received another kiss. This time, the kiss wasn't as soft, but more passionate, filled with longing. Joey kissed Pacey back with just as much passion. They didn't care about the consequences that followed this kiss, or what might happen tomorrow. All they cared about was what was happening right now.
Joey rolled around again. Why did she say that? Why couldn't she just say "yes" when Pacey asked her if she really wanted to forget about the kiss?
Becauseyou really liked it , a voice inside Joey told her. Joey groaned. Things would be so much more simpler if she hated it or if she had just pushed Pacey away. But she hadn't.
Great, she thought. Just what she needed. More things to sort through. First Dawson, now Pacey. She groaned again and rolled around.
* * *
Pacey looked at his clock. 1:53, the clock read. Pacey felt as if he had been lying around in his bed for hours, if not days. He couldn't get his mind off of Joey and the kiss. His brain had told him that kissing Joey would just cause trouble, but he hadn't listened. The urge to kiss Joey had been too great, so he gave into temptation...again. He was surprised when Joey didn't push him away like last time, but kissed him back. That was a kiss to remember.
His thoughts instantly switched to Andie and Dawson. He felt guilty all over again. Dawson was his best friend and he knew that he wasn't over Joey yet. But what could he do? What happened had happened. Part of him wished he never kissed Joey, but part of him was glad he did. Dawson had always been there for him. How could he do that to his best friend?
And then there was Andie. Andie was still his girlfriend, but things were different now. A month ago, he would of been devastated if he kissed someone, but now, he didn't really feel anything. Sure he cared for Andie and he had loved her once, but that was all in the past. He and Andie had something special, and he would always care for her, but his heart didn't belong to her anymore. It belonged to Joey.
He tossed around in his bed again. There was no use trying to fight it. He was falling for Joey, and there was nothing he could do about it. He didn't know where to go from here though. All he knew was that he needed to talk to her. He didn't know what he would say, but he just had to see her.
Joey looked at the clock in the Ice House kitchen. 4:13. Looks like Pacey's not coming after all, Joey thought to herself as she tossed a salad. Usually, he would of been here by now. Part of her was disappointed that Pacey didn't come, but part of her was relieved that he wasn't here. She wouldn't know what to say. She didn't know how she felt. Well, actually, she did, but she wasn't ready to face those feelings yet. She was scared. Things would just be much more simpler if she forgot about Pacey and got back together with Dawson. But she couldn't. She didn't want to.
"Joey!" Bessie yelled, snapping Joey out of her trance.
"Sorry Bessie," Joey apologized. "I'll be right out."
"Actually Joey, you have company," Bessie told her sister and exited the kitchen.
Maybe Pacey came after all, Joey thought as she made her way out of the kitchen. She reached the counter and realized that her company wasn't Pacey, but a huge grin spread across her face as she realized who it was.
"Jack! Jen! You're back!" Joey exclaimed as she ran up to her friends and embraced them in a huge hug.
"Hey Jo," Jen and Jack said as they hugged Joey back.
After a few seconds, the group of friends broke away from their hug.
"So, how was New York?" Joey asked her friend excitedly.
"It was great. Just how I remembered it," Jen said grinning.
"And you Jack?" Joey asked.
"It was okay," Jack replied.
"Okay? Just okay?" Jen asked her friend sceptically. "Please. Jack, you had the time of your life. You were practically whining when we had to leave somewhere."
"Really?" Joey asked interested.
"Well, okay, I loved it there!" Jack exclaimed.
"He even met someone there," Jen whispered to Joey.
"You did?" Joey asked Jack, grinning.
"Well, we're just friends. Nothing too serious," Jack replied blushing.
"Yet," Jen said, teasing her friend.
"Wow, Jack. A summer fling. I'm impressed," Joey teased.
"I told you, we're just friends," Jack repeated, but was smiling and blushing as well.
"Okay Jack. I believe you," Joey said, but it was obvious from her tone that she was lying.
"Well, I think we should go now," Jack said to Jen.
"So soon?" Joey asked.
"Maybe we should," Jen said. "We just got back an hour ago. We didn't feel like unpacking so we decided to visit you and Pacey."
"Oh," Joey said, her heart racing as soon as she heard Pacey's name. "Did you visit him yet?"
"No, we better go say a quick hello. Then, we have to go home and unpack," Jen explained.
"Oh, okay. I'll see you guys later then," Joey said.
"Bye Joey," Jack said, giving Joey another hug. Jack turned around to go, but Jen found something unsettling in Joey's face.
"You alright, Jo?" Jen asked concerned. "You don't look too good."
"I'm fine," Joey said quickly. "I'm just tired, that's all."
"Well, okay," Jen said, although she wasn't entirely convinced. "We'll see you later then."
"Bye," Joey said, as she watched her friends go.
Joey cleared out the cash register as the day hit closing hour. She placed the money in the "money box" and put it in her bag. As she did so, she heard footsteps behind her.
"Sorry, we're closed," Joey yelled out without turning around.
There was no answer. Joey waited for more footsteps which would indicate the customer's departure, but she never heard them. She stiffened. What if this is a burglar? Joey thought to herself. She slowly turned around. To her relief, it wasn't a burglar, but panic rose inside her again when she realized who it was.
"Hi...hi Pacey," she said, her voice unsteady.
"Hi Jo," Pacey said still standing at the doorway.
"So, um, what brings you by?" Joey asked, although she already knew why.
Pacey made his way to Joey and stopped at the counter. "We need to talk," Pacey said.
"Uh, actually, I'm kind of busy. Maybe tomorrow," Joey said quickly.
"There's no one here," Pacey pointed out.
"I know, but I, uh, I have to get home," Joey said.
"Joey, there's no use avoiding this. We need to talk," Pacey told her.
"Talk about what?" Joey asked as innocently as she could.
"About last night," Pacey replied, although he knew that Joey already knew.
"What about last night?" Joey asked.
"Joey," Pacey said, a little annoyed at Joey's difficulty.
"Look, Pacey, there's nothing to talk about. It was a mistake," Joey told him.
"Joey, a mistake doesn't happen three times," Pacey told her, his voice still calm.
"Pacey, I really have to go," Joey said, trying to avoid the conversation.
Pacey didn't expect to get all the answers he wanted from Joey from this one visit. But Joey's behaviour had really started to get to him, and he found a new determination to get some answers out of her. He wasn't leaving until Joey at least opened up to him.
"Joey, you can't avoid this forever," Pacey said, his voice firm. "Now, we really need to talk about what happened yesterday night."
"Look, Pacey. It doesn't matter what happened yesterday night because there's nothing we can do about it," Joey said.
"What do you mean?" Pacey asked.
"Maybe you've forgotten Pacey, but we're not the only two people on this planet. Have you forgotten about Dawson and Andie?"
"Oh right," Pacey said, as he remembered why this situation was so difficult.
"You're still with Andie, aren't you?" Joey asked trying to keep her voice firm, even though she was shaking like crazy inside.
"Technically yes, but emotionally no. Joey, I can't deny that I still care for Andie, but the way I care for her now is different than how I cared for her before. Andie and I shared something together, but that's all in the past. And as much as I want things to be normal between Andie and me, it can't because, well, it's not. I'll just be lying to myself if I told myself everything was fine. I think that deep down, both Andie and me know that it's over," Pacey told Joey.
"Yeah, but your technically still with her. And then there's Dawson. I don't even know what's going on between me and Dawson," Joey said, not letting her defence down. "But what's going on between us Jo?" Pacey asked.
"It doesn't matter," Joey yelled again. "Because there's just too many things that's-"
"Dammit Jo!" Pacey yelled. "Why can't you just forget about everything else and just tell me how you feel about us. Us. Not Dawson. Not Andie. But us?"
"Because...because..." Joey started but stopped. She couldn't argue anymore with him anymore. Her face softened and a bit of sadness showed through her face. "It's just...why did you have to kiss me?" Joey asked softly.
"I don't know," Pacey said with the same soft tone, as he made his way around the counter and to stand beside Joey. "Why did you kiss me back?"
Because I wanted to more than anything, Joey said to herself, but didn't dare say it out loud. She realized that she and Pacey were extremely close to each other. She look up at Pacey and was mesmerized by his eyes, just like the night before. There was sadness and longing in his eyes, and she knew that he saw the same in hers. Pacey moved his head closer to Joey's and Joey moved hers closer to his. With their lips just half an inch apart, Joey felt the desire to kiss him grow. But her desire vanished as she realized what she was doing.
"Pacey I really have to go," Joey said abruptly, before their lips could meet.
Pacey took a step back. He hadn't plan on kissing Joey again, it just happened. Feeling confused, he agreed with Joey.
"Alright. I have to go too. I'll be at the video store if, you know, need anything," he said before leaving.
Joey watched Pacey's figure disappear in the darkness. She couldn't keep this inside of her any longer. She need someone to talk too, but who? Bessie had some friends over. She couldn't talk to Jack because of the whole Andie thing, and besides, she really wanted a girl to talk to. The only person left was Jen. Although she and Jen decided to become friends, she wasn't entirely close with her. Joey sighed. But she really needed someone to talk to. She grabbed her stuff and went to lock up the restaurant.
"Coming!" Joey heard someone say from the other side of the door. She heard someone running and the door swung open a few seconds later.
"Joey!" Jack exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"
"Oh, you know, just in the neighbourhood," Joey said casually.
"But you don't live near hear," Jack said confused.
"I know. Just felt like saying hi," Joey said.
"Oh, okay Do you want to talk about anything?" Jack asked.
"Actually, is it okay if I can talk to Jen?" Joey asked.
"Jen? Okay sure. Wait here," Jack told her as he ran to get Jen.
A minute later, Jen showed up at the door.
"Hi Joey. Jack said you wanted to talk?" Jen told her.
"Yeah," Joey said, a bit uncomfortable that she was going to confide in Jen.
"Well, take a seat," Jen said, indicating her to sit on the available seats on the porch.
"So," Joey said as soon as she and Jen were seated, "how was your trip?"
"Fine," Jen answered, giving Joey a weird look.
"Did you shop a lot?" Joey asked.
"Yes..." Jen replied. "Look, Joey. We both know that you didn't come here in the middle of the night just to ask me how my trip was. Was there anything else you want to talk about?"
"Actually, yes. But if I tell you, will you promise you won't tell anyone else?" Joey asked her.
"Well, it depends Jo. Is it life threatening?" Jen asked concerned.
"Well, it depends on how you look at it. It involves Pacey," Joey said.
"Pacey?" Jen asked bewildered. "Is something wrong with him?"
"Oh, no. Nothing's wrong with him, but there's something going on between Pacey and me," Joey hinted, knowing that if there was anyone who can sense a romance, it would be Jen.
"You and Pacey?" Jen repeated bewildered. She studied Joey's face careful and her face suddenly shot back from surprise as she realized what Joey wanted to tell her. "Oh my gosh! You and Pacey!"
"Yeah," Joey said a bit embarrassed.
"So, do you have a crush on him or something?" Jen asked.
"Actually, it's more than that. We, um, kissed," Joey told her uncomfortably.
"You did what?" Jen yelled.
"Shhh," Joey quickly hushed her friend. "I don't want the whole neighbourhood to hear."
"Sorry, it's just that-" Jen cut off her own sentence as her look of surprise was replaced with a huge grin. "You and Pacey, huh? I always knew there was something going on between you two. There's no way that anybody can argue as much as you two without having some sort of-" Jen stopped talking as she caught the annoyed look Joey was giving her. She quickly changed her sentence. "I mean, how did this happen?"
"Well, yesterday at Cliff's party, we were dancing and-" Joey said, but was cut off.
"You were dancing? Awww," Jen gushed. She realized that Joey was giving her a dirty look and cleared her throat. "I mean, continue."
"Well, we were dancing to this slow song and we caught each other's eyes. Then before I knew it, Pacey's lips were pressed against mine," Joey toldher.
"Oh wow. So was this a in-the-moment-kind-of thing?" Jen asked.
"Well, it wasn't that unexpected. I've been kind of having these feelings for Pacey ever since the summer started," Joey explained.
"Really?" Jen asked smiling. "This is so exciting!"
"Jen, aren't you forgetting something?" Joey asked her friend.
"What?" Jen asked.
"Dawson and Andie..." Joey hinted.
"Oh right. I knew there was a reason why this was so complicated," Jen said.
"I mean, Andie is our friend, and I can't steal Pacey away from her," Joey told Jen.
"That's true," Jen said disappointed. "So she and Pacey are still going strong?"
"Well, Pacey told me that he and Andie were having problems. Something about him not caring for her the way he used to?" Joey said.
"Oh," was all Jen said.
"So, I guess this was a bad idea, huh? Well, thanks Jen. I guess it's best if I just told Pacey that we can't get together-"
"Wait a minute Joey! We're not finished yet," Jen exclaimed.
"We're not?" Joey asked.
"No. Okay, Joey, forget about Dawson and Andie for a minute. Tell me how you feel when you're around Pacey," Jen instructed her friend.
A smile instantly spread across Joey's face. "Well, it's weird you know, because me and Pacey are suppose to be enemies. But lately, when I'm around him, I just feel so happy. He always make me laugh and just being with him give me warm fuzzies. I don't know. It's weird, but when ever I'm around him, I just feel so different. I find myself smiling even when I'm not in the best of moods." Joey stopped at looked at Jen. She found her smiling.
"Aww," Jen said when Joey finished. "And how did you feel when he kissed you?"
Joey's face lit up again. "I felt like I was floating, Jen. The way he kissed me made me feel as weak as jell-o. My heart would race, my hand would be sweaty, but the only thing I could think about was him. It was amazing, Jen. It was soft and gentle, and he made me feel like I was Cinderella, finally meeting my Prince Charming. I just felt all tingly inside, not wanting it to end."
"Oh, that was so sweet," Jen said as she wiped an imaginary tear from her eye.
Joey rolled her eyes. "So, what do you think I should do."
"Well, it's kind of complicated. It seems like you really like Pacey, but then there's all that Dawson and Andie stuff. Oh, wait. I almost forgot to ask. How do you feel about Dawson?" Jen asked.
"Well, at first, I was kind of confused. I didn't know whether I wanted to be with him or not. But compared to my feelings for Pacey, my feelings for Dawson is close to nothing. Dawson will always be someone special to me, but right now, I just don't feel for him anymore," Joey explained.
"Well, okay. Now that Dawson's out of the way, things aren't as complicated," Jen thought out loud.
"Yeah, but there's still Andie and that's a big problem," Joey pointed out.
"But you said that Pacey didn't feel the same way about her, and by the way you said they were having problems, it seems like she doesn't feel the same why about him either," Jen said.
"Yeah, but it still exists. Maybe it will just be best if I just forget about Pacey," Joey suggest grimly.
"Joey, you just can't ignore your feelings for him. Not when they're this strong," Jen told her.
"Yeah, but what about Andie and-"
"Joey, there are always times in your life when you should do what's right and listen to your brain. But when it comes to love, you should always listen to your heart," Jen told her.
What Jen said left Joey thinking. Her thoughts were interrupted a few minutes later when they heard the front door open.
"Jennifer, Jack said you were out here- Oh, hi Josephine," Mrs. Ryansaid.
"Hi Mrs. Ryan," Joey greeted politely.
"Well, I hate to end your little talk, but Jennifer, you really should come inside now," Grams told her grand daughter.
"Okay, Grams. I'll be inside in a minute," Jen told her grandmother.
"Alright. Goodnight, Josephine," Grams said before she went back inside the house.
"Goodnight, Mrs. Ryan," Joey called out.
"Well, I better get going," Jen said. "Sorry to cut things short."
"It's alright. I'll see you tomorrow, maybe?" Joey asked.
"Yeah. Well, goodnight," Jen said as she turned to go inside her house.
"Night," Joey said as she turned to leave. "Oh, Jen?" Joey quickly called before Jen closed the door.
"Yeah?" Jen asked.
"Thanks. I'm glad we had this talk," Joey said, smiling.
Jen smiled back. "Me too."
Pacey continued to shelve some tapes. Nice way to spend Sunday night, Pacey thought sarcastically to himself. He went back behind the desk to retrieve some more tapes. He looked at the clock on the wall. In an hour, he will be out of here.
"Alright," he said out loud.
"Alright what?" he heard a voice asked.
He turned around and found Joey standing at the door.
"Joey!" he exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"
"I, uh, came to rent a movie," Joey told him.
"You did?" Pacey asked.
"Well, no," Joey admitted. "I came to talk to you about yesterday."
"Oh, so you're finally doing what I wanted you to do," Pacey said with a grin.
"Yeah. Pacey, look. I know I haven't exactly been the friendliest to you today, but that's only because I was confused...and scared," she told him.
"Scared?" Pacey asked.
"Yeah. I didn't expect to feel this way about you, and when I did, well, I wasn't sure what to do. But when you take everything out of the picture, and just leave us in it, I realize that I want to keep it that way, because I, I want to be with you," Joey said shyly.
"Joey, I want to be with you too. I know that there are reasons why we shouldn't get together, but Joey, I really don't care," Pacey said.
"Me too," Joey smiled.
"So, Miss Josephine, what made you change your mind?" Pacey asked.
"Well, I thought about what you said, about how I feel about just us," Joey started.
"Yeah," Pacey said, as he waited for Joey to continue.
"And I also listened to my heart," Joey said with a smile.
Pacey smiled. "Well, any girl would be crazy not to get together with me," Pacey said, as if he was the big man on campus.
"No, I think you just got lucky this time," Joey replied with a smirk.
Pacey smiled.
"Pacey, don't you think this is kind of awkward? I mean, you and me, me and you?" Joey asked.
"Yeah, but do you know what?" Pacey asked as he reach his hand across the counter to hold Joey's hand.
"What?" Joey asked as she held onto his hand.
"I like it," he said with a smile.
Joey smiled back. "Me too."
Aww! If I was a writer for DC, you wouldn't be reading this, but you'd be watching this! But I'm not. Oh well. Well, as I writer, I can not end this chapter without asking for feedback! So come on people, send them it! If you already wrote to me, I'd love to hear from you again, and if you haven't, then what are you waiting for? ;-) Feedback is a HUGE motive for me to write the next chapter......
