CAPESIDE HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY
The next day, Dawson entered school and was walking down the hallway when Andie caught up with him.
"Dawson."
"Oh, hey, Andie. How are you doing?"
"I'm fine. So, have you talked anymore with Jen, that is 'new Jen' Jen?"
"Yeah, actually, she called me last night and we talked for quite a while."
"That's cool."
"Yeah, she's really nice. We're going to go out again this weekend. Catch another movie or something."
"That's great."
"I have you to thank for it."
She shrugged. "I was happy to do it. I think I might have messed things up with Joey though."
"What do you mean?"
"I sort of forgot about how she might react to the whole thing. Have you talked to her?"
"It was more my fault. I should've talked to her from the beginning. There was a little confusion with the whole Jen name thing, but she said she's okay with it."
"Do you think she's really okay with it?"
"If you think that Joey may be upset with you, I wouldn't worry about it. She seemed genuinely all right about everything." His tone seemed to change a bit as he looked away. "There's no reason she shouldn't be. After all, she is the one who broke things off between us."
Andie sensed a little bitterness in his comment.
"Maybe you'd be happier if she wasn't so 'all right' with everything."
Dawson was looking off distractedly. "What? Oh, no. It's fine. Really. This is the best thing for us and….and now I've met Jen, new Jen. And as soon as I stop calling her 'new Jen' who knows where our relationship will lead. Maybe Joey and I weren't meant to be together at all. Maybe I was wrong."
"It's probably a little too early to tell."
The bell rang.
"Well, I've got to get to class." He turned to walk away.
"Hey Dawson, if you want to talk about anything, I can lend an ear."
"Yeah, ok. Well, I'll see ya."
ENGLISH CLASS
Pacey sat down and slouched in his seat, his depression still readily apparent.
"Good morning, class. Before we get started, I thought I'd return your 'Beowulf' papers to you so that you might find your grades as motivation for actually pay attention to my lecture." He began walking around the room handing papers back, leaving groans and expressions of shock in his wake. Pacey barely heard him as he walked down his row. "I was very disappointed, to say the least. However, there were some very well-written papers that went beyond my expectations and renewed my faith in the education process as a whole."
He stopped at Pacey's desk and handed him his paper.
"Good job, Pacey."
After his initial shock, a grin slowly made its way across his face as he stared at the A+ on the top of the front page.
SPANISH CLASS
Joey stared out the window when Andie sat in the seat in front of her.
"Hey, Joey."
Despite her efforts to prepare herself for this meeting, Joey didn't know what to say.
"Oh, hi, Andie. How are you doing?" she tried to sound normal. She didn't and Andie noticed. However, Andie thought the reason was due to the Dawson/Jen situation.
"Joey, I'm really sorry about the whole Dawson dating thing." She was speaking at a break-neck pace. "I only wanted to help him out and I forgot about how you might react and I just feel so awful. Dawson said you were okay with everything, but I just wanted to tell you myself that I had no intention of causing any problems. I hope that you know I would never intentionally do that. Sometimes, I just don't think things all the way through before I act." Andie finally took a breath.
If Joey hadn't felt guilty yet, she did now. Andie was apologizing to her.
"It's ok, Andie. Seriously. I'm fine about Dawson dating other people. I mean, we broke up, right? He can date who he wants." She wanted to add, "You can date him, if you want." But she didn't want to hear Andie's response because she pretty much knew what it would be and the resulting guilt would be more than she could bear for one day.
"I'm so relieved. I felt terrible about it. I wanted to talk to you yesterday but I didn't see you in school. Were you sick?"
Uh oh. Here came the lies. "Yeah. Actually, I'm still feeling pretty nauseous." This really wasn't that big of a lie. She felt sicker by the minute. She wished Andie would stop acting so nice to her.
"I'm sorry to hear that."
Joey needed to change the subject. "So, what did I miss in class yesterday?"
"Not much. Just more verb conjugation. Oh, and our projects are due Thursday."
Joey winced. "Oh no. I totally forgot about that."
"Yeah, so did I. I guess we've both been a bit distracted." She thought for a moment, then brightened. "Hey, why don't we work on a project together."
Joey just stared at her.
JOEY'S HOUSE
After school, Pacey walked to Joey's house. He was in a great mood. He entered through the screen door and into the kitchen to see Joey standing at the counter with her back to him. He quietly walked over and put his arms around her.
"Hi," he breathed into her ear.
He felt her tense up immediately and she pulled herself out of his embrace. He was surprised and a little hurt by her actions until the explanation he was looking for walked in from the other room.
"Joey, I could only find..…Pacey."
"Andie," he stammered. "What are you doing here?"
Joey looked back and forth from Pacey to Andie. They couldn't tear their eyes away from each other.
"Andie and I are working on a project for Spanish class together," she quickly explained. "We were thinking of making a piñata for part of it. I'm trying to make the paste. Andie was looking for newspaper."
Joey realized that no one was listening to her. She didn't know what to do. She did know that Pacey and Andie needed to resolve some things so she decided to excuse herself. "I'm going to go outside for a little bit. Maybe there's some newspaper in the recycling."
Andie smiled uncomfortably at her. Pacey didn't look at either of them. Joey quietly exited.
"How are you doing?" asked Andie.
"I'm fine. How are you doing?"
"Fine." Twisting her hands, in search of something to say. "I just came over to…"
"You don't have to make excuses to me, or small talk."
"I'm sorry, Pacey. I wish there was an easy way of getting past this. I know it's an overused and improbable cliché but I would like for us to be friends."
Pacey didn't respond.
She sighed defeatedly. "We don't have to be friends, just please don't hate me."
He was surprised by this comment.
"I don't hate you."
"Good. Well, that's a start then." She looked around finding nothing else to say. "I think I'll just be going. Tell Joey that I'll talk to her in school." She walked to the door then looked back. "Bye."
Pacey could only watch her go.
After Andie left, Joey walked back into the house to find Pacey sitting at the kitchen table with his head in his hands. She sat down next to him. Not sure what went on or what to say, she waited for him to speak. He dropped his hands to the table and sighed.
"How am I supposed to feel? Can you tell me how I'm supposed to feel because I don't know. I don't know why I'm this thrown by just seeing her."
"Do you still love her?" asked Joey quietly.
"I…well, yeah, I still care about her. But, love? No, I don't love her. Not like I did. I can't."
"Because she hurt you," she offered.
It wasn't a question. It was a statement. A statement that, up until this point, Pacey hadn't acknowledged. He squeezed his eyes shut and ran his hands through his hair.
"Yes, ok, yes. She hurt me." He looked over at Joey. "Is that supposed to make things better? Admitting to it? Because I don't feel any better." He looked away again. "Life was just different with her. Better. She brought out a whole different part of me. A part that I liked. She was like the string to my kite. And me, I didn't even know I was a kite. But I got to soar for a change. You saw me. I'd never been like that before. But suddenly the string was gone and I'm no longer soaring. Now I'm falling. I'm falling and I'm scared because I don't know where I'm going to land."
Joey reached over to grasp his hand.
"You will land though, Pacey, and you may find that landing is even better than soaring."
"With my luck, I'd probably get caught in a tree."
"Well, not to belabor your metaphor, but I've had a lot of practice with climbing up and down ladders so I promise to do what I can to bring you down safely."
He squeezed her hand.
"But once I land, what do I become?"
"I don't know. A windsock?"
Pacey smiled a little.
"Pacey, I think we've just got to allow ourselves to go through the experiences of adolescence without trying to constantly define them, or order them, or come up with some inappropriate metaphor to convolute them. Andie was a part of your experience. A good part. But, there's a lot more to come. And, no, that doesn't mean you should automatically feel better. That's part of it too, ya know. The emotions. They're not all going to be warm fuzzies. After all, we are teenagers."
She paused, waiting for him to respond. He didn't, so she continued. "And if you want my opinion. I think you always were a kite with your own string, and like you said, you never got to soar. You're still soaring. You're just not used to the new elevation. Ya know, thinner air, etc. There, how's that for a metaphor?"
He stared at her with an amused look on his face. Joey guessed at what he was thinking.
"Don't even start talking about Dawson."
He chuckled. "Dawson didn't even cross my mind, but now that you mention…"
"No. Dawson was not my kite, or vice versa. End of discussion."
He laughed. "Actually, I was just thinking about what brought me here."
"Your bike?" she joked.
He shook his head. "I had a good day. I just wanted to see you and tell you about it."
"Then tell me about it."
"Well, I wanted to but now I'm not sure if by telling you I might convolute it with some misguided definition or metaphor."
"Shut up." She playfully slapped his arm. "How about if we just start all over again."
"What? You want me to go out and come back in."
She pulled him out of his chair and pushed him toward the door.
"Yeah, you go out and come back in and we'll just pretend that Andie wasn't here."
"All right. Stop pushing."
He walked out and she shut the heavy door behind him.
"Hey, that wasn't shut before." She didn't hear him. He glanced around outside for a minute then cleared his throat before raising his hand to knock on the door.
There was no answer. He knocked again.
"Joey?" Again, no answer. He reached for the doorknob. "I guess I did just walk in last time." He opened the door and walked into the kitchen. "Lucy, I'm home!" he announced in his best Cuban accent. Still, no answer. Befuddled, he walked into the other room to see Joey doing her best to pretend she was asleep on the couch. Amused, he walked over to kneel beside her and leaned in close.
"Josephine," he whispered.
"Hmm?" she opened her eyes slowly. "Oh, Pacey, what are you doing here? I wasn't expecting you."
He chuckled. "Well, Miss Potter, it behooved me to come over here to share my day with you."
"Oh, really? Well then, tell me, how was your day?"
He stood up and started to walk out of the room. "Maybe I should wait until you're awake."
Joey sat up. "Ok, Pace, I'm awake. Now what is it?"
He looked at her with the slightest of grins on his face.
"Guess what I got on my 'Beowulf' paper."
"An A?" she asked hopefully.
He feigned a hurt expression. "What? Is that all you think of me. An A?"
"You got better than an A?"
"Yes, indeed. See for yourself."
He sat down next to her and handed her his paper. She read the comments off the front page out loud.
"Excellent job, Pacey. Your thoughts were insightful, original and well-organized. I'm very happy to see you realizing your full potential."
Pacey grinned sheepishly as she turned to him. "Who'd have known that under all that wit and sarcasm, there was a scholar screaming to get out," she chided. "I am so proud of you."
"Aw, stop. You're embarrassing me." Pacey's own pride welled-up inside him.
"Are you kidding? Do you realize what kind of achievement this is?" she said more seriously. "It is my belief that there are two kinds of students. There are the students who get high grades all the time because it comes easy to them. They barely even have to try. Then there are the students who struggle just to get mediocre grades. They have to work their asses off if they want to achieve what those other students do so effortlessly. I'm more impressed with the people who have to work hard and choose to work hard. You should be proud of yourself."
Pacey stared at the floor, unaccustomed to hearing such praise. "Thank you," was all he said, barely above a whisper.
He realized how important it was for him to hear such things. He had worked hard, but there was still that part of him wouldn't let him believe that he deserved it. It was a fluke. Enjoy it while it lasted. He was so grateful to hear someone who didn't feel that that was true. Andie was once his biggest cheerleader. But maybe he didn't deserve her either. He now had Joey. He wanted to deserve that. He cherished their friendship more than anything else he could think of. Whether he deserved it or not, she made him feel good --special.
Joey couldn't quite interpret his mood. He seemed sad. "Pacey, come on, you should be happy."
He looked into her eyes. "I don't think I could be any happier."
"You have a funny way of showing it. Normally people smile, or laugh, or…"
"We're not moving," he interrupted.
"What?" She didn't think she heard him right.
"We're not moving. I just found out. My dad's keeping his job here in Capeside."
She could not believe the incredible joy that she felt. He smiled and she threw her arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms around her tightly. Though she didn't realize its existence before, a huge weight was lifted. Pacey wouldn't be leaving.
"I take it back," he said. She pulled back to look at him questioningly.
"You take what back?"
"A minute ago when I said I couldn't be happier….…Now I'm happier."
She smiled and cradled his head in her hands as they stared into each other's eyes. They hadn't kissed since the ruins. It wasn't supposed to be about that. But, here they were again, filled with emotion and longing. What was it supposed to be about again? They slowly tilted their heads toward each other and gently brushed across each others lips when suddenly they heard someone coming up the steps.
"Joey. Are you home?" said Bessie from the porch.
They jumped apart.
"Um, yeah," Joey replied, trying to compose herself.
"Could you get the door? My arms are full of groceries."
Joey went to open the door. Pacey remained on the couch, also trying to recover from their private moment. Bessie walked in and noticed Joey's reddened face.
"Are you okay, Joey? You look flushed."
"Yeah, I'm fine. Where's Alex?" She attempted to change the subject.
"He's still asleep in the car. Could you…" Pacey stood up from the couch. "Oh, hi there, Pacey. I didn't realize you were here."
He opened his mouth to reply but Joey jumped in. "He came over to show me what he got on his English paper. You'll never believe it. He got an A+."
Bessie looked at him, impressed. "Congratulations, Pacey. You must have worked hard."
"Yeah, I did."
"Well, that's great," Bessie continued, putting away groceries. Joey helped her. "Speaking of working hard, Jo, can you come into the restaurant to help out for dinner rush. Lisa called in sick."
"Do I have a choice?" Joey asked dismally.
"Well, you can either help at the restaurant or stay here knowing that your dearest and only sister is off doing the work of two people."
"Could you be any more dramatic?"
"Yes."
"Fine, I'll go help."
"Could you do one more thing for me?"
"What's that?"
"Could you get Alex and the rest of the groceries out of the car?"
Joey was about to offer a retort when Pacey came up from behind and placed his hand over her mouth.
"Mmmmph."
"She said she'd love to," translated Pacey.
Joey tried to pull his hand from her face and mumbled again.
"She says she couldn't be happier than to comply with your request."
Joey rolled her eyes and Bessie laughed.
"Thank you, Pacey," said Bessie.
"No problem."
He let go of Joey and she glared at him. He smiled innocently and held the door for her to go outside.
"Yeah, thanks, Pacey."
"I am here but to serve," he grinned and bowed gallantly.
"In that case, you can get the rest of the groceries. I'll get Alex."
"As you wish."
Joey took Alex inside as Pacey brought in all the groceries. When they were done, Joey came back out for Alex's teddy bear and Pacey came up behind her.
"I guess I should get going," he said.
She turned around clutching the bear.
"Yeah," she said, disappointed. "I wish I didn't have to work."
"Maybe I'll come visit you later."
"That would be cool."
The emotions that Bessie had interrupted seemed to stir around them again.
"I'm so glad you're not moving."
"Not half as glad as I am."
He absently took the bear from her hands and stared at its face, caressing it with the back of his hand.
"Joey, come on, we've got to get a move on," Bessie called from the doorway.
Joey sighed. "All right, I'm coming," she answered then turned her attention back to Pacey. "I'll see you later."
"Ok." He kissed the bear on the nose and handed it back to her. "Have fun at work."
"Oh yeah, you know me," she replied sarcastically.
"Well, my belief is that there are two kind of waitresses," he joked. "There are those that are nice without even trying and then there are those that have to try hard just to be courteous."
"Bite me, Pacey." Rolling her eyes, she turned and walked toward the house.
"You might want to try harder than that," he called after her.
With a smile on his face, he watched her disappear into the house and then he headed for home.
