I have been possessed with the desire to crossdress for
the better part of my life. How it came about, I really
do not know. I do recall a few instances which may have had
some influence, however, such as when at about five or so my Aunt
was doing the wash and, as she gathered clothes from the dryer, she encouraged me to try on one of her control
girdle/briefs. Years later, when I was about ten and on vacation with my Aunt and Grandmother,
my Aunt dressed me in her blonde wig one night, with make-up, as a lark to see how I would look as a girl.
These are the earliest references to my crossdressing that I recall. Perhaps herein lay the foundations of my crossdressing/feminine
expressionism, or equally likely the mere precursors to my transgenderal ways. No doubt being almost wholly raised by my Grandmother and
surrounded most times by women may have had some degree of influence.
It was during my teen years that I began to actively crossdress, mostly in women's undergarments and stockings, and always for sexual means. There are only two instances that I recall dressing wholly... a dress, shoes, even make-up once....during my formative teens. Dressing the complete package and just for the satisfaction of doing so was not for me at the time.
This phase continued through my college years, when the only opportunities I had were during school breaks spent at home. I had no resources (clothes) to draw upon and the occasional room-mate to prevent anything of that sort. One significant event did occur, however, during college, and that was getting out to a degree. The first instance was costuming for Halloween as a female doctor (I was a pre-med major a the time). The second more noteworthy occasion was dressing for the annual Sadie Hawkins Dance. For this, I dressed as a college prepette, complete with wig, make-up, nails, skirt, the whole package. I still remember all of my female friends contributing a blouse here, skirt there, bra etc.....then doing my make-up and accessories. This I guess was my first public "outing"...and as yet the only.
During college, I met someone and was married and my crossdressing declined precipitously. My first wife and I never discussed sexual topics of any kind, so my transgenderal inclinations were kept a secret pretty much for over 14 years. Very rarely would the opportunity to crossdress to any degree present itself, and when it did it was done with the utmost of secrecy. Still, however, the desire lingered, as did the feelings of not so much guilt but more so that this behavior was socially "unacceptable".
My journey has now taken an new and exciting road. Last Fall, I was remarried to a wonderfully remarkable woman to whom I confessed my crossdressing very early on in our relationship. Actually it came out very much by chance over our usual cup of java at Borders' cafe while discussing our varied lives. She said something to the effect that "as long as I don't want to wear her stockings," to which I replied, "well..." and the rest is history. Needless to say, she was shocked at first, claiming that she thought "those kinds of people" who did that sort of thing were, well, not normal. But she realized through me that they were and she stuck with me, heard me out and throughout maintained an open mind and has come to accept and, in fact encourage, the Staci in me to come out. Through her acceptance I became more accepting of myself. In actuality, Staci didn't exist until a few months ago when we seriously began exploring CD/transgender web sites for couple's information and thought of the name, which in the beginning I was somewhat uncomfortable with.
As a consequence, my crossdressing has changed from being purely a sexual thing to a true experience these past months. Staci was recently 'formally' introduced to my wife and now we peruse the Penny's catalogs together in search of the appropriate 'look.' We had our first shopping trip to buy Staci her first dress and Staci even has her first wig on the way. My wife even looks forward to helping Staci with her make-up and nails. Right now, Staci comes to visit at the house, helping with things around the home and having lunch with her girlfriend, but hopefully she'll be getting the chance to go 'out' soon enough! The journey has really only just begun....
Staci Wigs Out!!!
Recently, as some of my friends know, Staci got her first wig, and boy what an experience it has been. It really makes a difference to the overall appearance, let me tell you. It's a nice contemorary style from the good people at Wig Outlet. Well, Staci has had several opportunities to wear her wig and now
there definately is no going back to wiglessness. I have also had some fun with it, as had my wife, who got a good laugh from watching Staci eat her cereal while trying to keep her hair out of her face. There is something to be said about having short hair.... oh, the things we women go through!
I also had my first true make-up experience a couple of weeks ago. After finally getting my wig in the mail, my wife decided it was time for her to add her touch to the overall picture. So she got out her little make-up kit and gave Staci a little make-over. All dressed up and no place to go.... But I'll get out eventually, and when I do, you'll be the first to hear about it!
