What It Means to give All
~as written by iseult{ki}.
What does it mean to give all to ones slavery? As Mmany know, throughout the past months this girl has fought and struggled with this question. Now as she faces the end of her white silk training, one has been asked to address it head-on.All. It was easy for this girl to accept obedience. It was easy for this girl to accept that she was bodily owned. It was easy for this girl to accept her rules and restrictions. But, much to one’s surprise, just that is not what Aanyone meant by “All.” For this girl, personally, the struggle with that word was, sometimes still is, in the mind.
Why should a slave give all to her Owners? Because it’s right? Because They demand it? Because They deserve it? Because it is pleasing? Because her life depends on it? Yes. But there’s something more. It is because, very simply, that is what a kajira is. And to be a slave, is to have nothing. No secrets, no walls, no protection, inward or outward. a Gorean slave is not owned in body. she is owned in body, in mind, in heart, in spirit. Everything she is, not just who she is, is property. It is no longer hers, it is no longer her choice. One does not buy a piece of jewelry, precious and beautiful, simply to put it on a shelf and look at it. One doesn’t buy a wreath of flowers, common, delicate, and leave it in the box to rot. A kajira is property, and all of her is for the use and exploration of her Owners. Halfway is not good enough.
And how does one do that? How does a girl, with all the intricacies, depth, spirit, complexities, and intonations of a soul, give all of herself?
One, by showing her emotions. In every post she makes. she should not forget, for a single instance, that the intricacies of her mind are for the inspection of her Owners, just as her body is. There are a wealth of a feelings that go through a girl’s heart when she is performing her everyday or not-so-everyday duties. Those are property. Show them. Open your heart and your mind – not for a moment, not for a breath, but always, every day, every time. a kajira expresses her openness with the palms of her hands. she should live that expression, not just perform the motion. Live defenseless, and a girl will begin to understand the first inklings of how her bondage, ironically, poetically, sets her free.
Two, by being truthful. a slave hasn’t the luxury of lying. But there is more to truth than the words. Deception weaves walls. Walls are not allowed her. Twisting truths, omissions, failures to admit wrongs, are all dishonesties to a slave. There are no shades of truth, there is only truth, and all of it. If you feel ashamed of an emotion, do not hide from it, do not omit it, shield from it, or ignore it. This is not being honest with yourself, nor is it being honest with your Owners. Instead, express it, learn from it, gain strength from it.
There is not a soul in the world that knows itself entirely, no matter how thoroughly one examines oneself. Like scientific discovery, it seems each answered question evolves ten new unanswered ones. How does a girl open her mind and spirit in entirety to her Owners if she has not discovered it all yet herself? This has been a difficult question for issy. this girl is still very young, on the threshold of life, and knows she has much, both without and within, to explore. she has much still to learn about herself, even though she often thinks that she knows just about everything there is to know there. But she has begun to discover, particularly on Gor, that she indeed has far to go. The best way for a girl to open even the most mysterious facets of her being is to be open to the new emotions she finds there, and to open those in turn to her Owners.
‘All,’ is also, ‘best.’ a girl must not settle for mediocrity in anything she does, says, or feels. Demand intensity! Feel every emotion to the tips of your fingers and toes, draw upon the depths of your soul every time you post. Do it when you are dancing, when you are entering, when you are serving, when you assume a position, do it for every post of a chore. Fill your words, your manner, your thoughts, with intensity, purity, and beauty. Every moment.
~iseult{ki}.
As an aside… since one is posting:
one would like to thank Yyou all for all of the time and thought and effort Yyou have put into this girl. she would like Yyou Aall to know that she appreciates it every day. And she wants Yyou to know that she has grown to love Yyou, Aall of Yyou.Master Bloodstar, Your kindness and strength have given this girl comfort and security.
Master Marston, Your wisdom has made this girl see new and beautiful facets of herself.
Master Tearlach, Your insight has shown this girl ideas she could not even fathom before.
Master Jago, Your friendship and warmth have brought a girl’s heart to life again.
Mistress Zeph, Your honesty and fairness have touched this girl’s soul and mind.
le~ala, your knowledge and loyalty have set a benchmark for which one strives.
sahira, your beauty and passion have awed a girl in every moment you’ve spent with her.
farida, sister, your dedication and determination have guided and inspired a girl from day one.
this girl does not deserve Yyou, or the Home with Which You have gifted her, but she is honored, deeply, wholly to serve You or to serve with you. le~ala says that whether one has the opportunity to attend more classes depends entirely on her. this girl hopes she can live up to Yyour expectations of her so that she may do so….. so that she may become pleasing to You.
Blessings to Yyou Aall, Bbeloved…
~iseult{ki}.
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