"Its time to go to work ya'll!" They got hooked up and went out for their show. I could only hear the guys not really see them from behind the stage. During the middle of the "Larger Than Life", Rebecca came running in and went into the bathroom. One of the managers ran off to get her.
" Rebecca whatever it is, work it out AFTER the show!" The guy yelled.
" NO! Everyone hates me. I'm done." After trying to get her to come out five minutes he gave up.
He looked at me and sighed. " Too bad you don't dance."
Just then I heard, "Are you kidding me? This girl has the movies like no one's business." Marie said sipping water.
" Is she joking?" He asked me. I shrugged my shoulders. " You know all the dance moves?"
I nodded my head. "Sally! Get her into costume and throw her hair up. Get this Angel out on stage now!" I was shocked.
" I really don't-" I was pulled by some girl. She made me put on this white costume and surprisingly it fit. She then put my waist long hair up into a pony tail.
"Gorgeous. Now they are about to sing "The One." Good thing Nick and Brian talk forever there."
I was pushed out on stage and stood by Kelly. Everyone was confused but they had to go with it. My stomach was in knots, millions of thoughts were running through my mind. As soon as the guys started singing, and started dancing, I was having a great time.
After the show everyone was surrounding me.
" You did awesome!" Howie said giving me a hug. I couldn't stop smiling because it had been years since I've been on stage dancing.
" Before we talk about me, what did you guys do or say to Rebecca?" All eyes went on A.J.
" What?! She wouldn't help me down from my harness so I told her to stop acting like a selfish baby. The thing is, all the fans heard and stared cracking up."
I only shook my head and laughed. We all got dressed. I was done first so I went on the dancers bus. Someone was crying in the back bottom bunk.
"Rebecca?"
" Leave me alone. you finally got what you wanted. Now go." I pulled the curtain back. I grabbed some tissues and handed them to her.
" Look, I know you're really not this big of a bitch. What is so wrong about the guys, the other dancers...me?" She kept quiet. "At first I really wanted Nick. I tried being extra nice to him but A.J. first got on my nerves. So I kept adding on to that. And you, I- I'm.." Her voice trailed off.
" Your what?"
" Jealous of you." I gasped a little. "You're like the center of everything. Even if you don't mean to. You get pushed down and everyone freaks to see if you're all right. Your always so damn nice...to everyone. Like with Brian and Leigh. When Howie wasn't feeling well, you helped Marie look after him so she could be at dance practice. And today they make a big deal bout the dancing. Nick is one of the nicest, sweetest guys I've met. I didn't know what to do so I figured it would be best for everyone to hate me. I acted like I hated you the most and here you are seeing if I'm all right. You have the perfect life."
"Rebecca there is a lot you don't know about me. And the only way things are going to work out is if I tell you. Since the age of three I had been dancing. When I was about nine Nick moved next to me. We became extremely close, real fast. Once he was a Backstreet Boy, we started losing touch. When I was sixteen, I was coming home from a dance compition I had gotten first in all of my dances. Some people saw me and wanted me to try out for this elite travel dance team. If I made it, which they said I had a great chance of, I could travel all around the world. On the way home our car was hit by a drunk driver, flipping us over a bridge. This causing both of my parents to die and paralyzing me from my waist down. Dancing career over-or so I thought. I never thought I'd hear from Nick...I didn't think he cared but what he had heard was that I had died. Few years later we literally run into each other and boom we're best friends again. My brother had been taking care of me since the accident and met a wonderful girl, Samantha. About a month and a half ago he proposed to her. Next day she's shot and killed. My brother leaves after a few weeks and leaves me in the care of my wonderful boyfriend Nick. Still jealous of my life?" Tears slipped down my cheek.
"I-I'm sorry I had no idea."
"Think about things before you get so judgmental." With that I stood up. "If you were to just straighten up and think of things other then yourself then people wouldn't...well be bothered by you or whatever. You're really not a bad person, I know." I wiped my tear stained face and left.
I walked out onto the Backstreet bus and the guys were all eating and throwing food around.
" There's our new dancer!! Woohooo!" Brian yelled and the guys cheered along.
I put on a weak smile and said "thanks." I then walked to my bunk and laid down holding my bear that my dad had given me at my first dance competition.
" Okay...what just happened?" A.J. asked.
Nick put down his chips and soda and walked over to my bunk.
"Honey?"
" Yeah?" He pulled open the curtain and I was facing the wall.
" You all right?"
" Uh huh." I mumbled. He climbed into the bed with me.
" Why do I have a funny feeling you're lying?" I shrugged my shoulders. He rubbed the back of his hand across my cheek. "Stace why are you crying?"
I faced him and buried my face into his chest.
"Shh its okay. Let it all out." Nick knew how I didn't like crying and to show my feelings. He gently rubbed my back. "You would think, th-that after almost five years, I would be able to talk about it without getting emotional."
"What are you talking about sweetie?"
I told Nick about my conversation with Rebecca. He held me tighter. That was the only thing I needed from him. No words. He has said all he could in the beginning and that was more than enough. Now all I needed was him.
"...So now I'm a BSB dancer. How crazy is that?" I laughed into the phone. I was talking to my brother who had just called me and I explained everything that had been going on.
" I think it's great."
" I really wish you were here with me Keith. I miss you."
" I miss you too Stacey. There will a lot of shows in the U.S. so don't worry about it. You just better have some of these concerts on tape."
" Don't worry. I do!"
"Good. Ugh sorry I'm going to have to let you go. My cell phone is dying. I'll call you again in a few days. I'm really happy and proud of you girl."
"Thanks."
"Tell everyone I said hi and I love you."
"I love you too. Take care."
" You too. Good bye."
"Bye." I hung up and sighed.
It had been about two weeks since Rebecca left. In a way I felt bad. Just then someone pulled the curtain from my bunk.
" Lets eat!" Howie said with a big smile.
" All right." I got down and put on my sandals. "McDonalds. Should've guessed." I shook my head and walked in with Howie. Nick saw me and came over.
"How's Keith?"
"Good, he says hi."
Nick smiled and took my hand. " What do you want?"
" Umm...actually I'm not that hungry."
" You have to eat. We have a show tonight."
" I'm really not hungry."
" Hun, your not on a diet are you?" He whispered so only I could hear.
"Nick, no I'm not."
"Cause these past weeks you've lost a lot of weight I noticed."
"Its from dancing so much. Ya know I really haven't worked out this hard since before well...you know the accident. My stomach feels a little nauseous."
"How about a salad with no dressing cause I know you hate the taste."
"Fine." He put his arm around my waist and ordered for us. We got back to the table with everyone else already eating. As soon as I took a bite of my salad everyone looked at me.
" What?! Have you never seen me eat a salad before or do I have something on my face?" I asked.
"Yeah you have something right...here." Brian put ketchup on my nose.
" Thanks Bri, thanks a lot."
" You're welcome a lot."
" Here let me get that for you." Nick leaned forward and was about to lick it off.
" Nick not here!" I laughed. He pouted but wiped it off with a napkin. As I finished half of my salad my stomach began to feel queasy.
"Excuse me." I got up from the table and made my way over to the rest room.
"Um...Lena, could you please go see if she's all right?" Nick asked. She put down her soda and got up. I had just made it to the bathroom and threw up. I didn't have a fever. Maybe it was a stomach bug. Just as I thought I was finished I threw up again.
"Stacey, you okay?" I wiped my face with some toilet paper.
" Yeah, I'll be out in a minute."
"You sure?"
" Yes." Lena walked out and I cleaned up myself.
"Nick?"
"Yeah Lena, she okay?"
"She was throwing up." Nick ran his hands through his hair.
"All right, thank you. I have to ask you guys something. Has anyone commented on her weight lately? Like even joking around?" Everyone thought for a moment but said no. Brian stood up and took Nick by his arm.
" You don't think she's bulimic do you?" Nick rubbed his eyes.
"When she was fourteen, she went through an eating problem. She wouldn't eat for weeks and whenever someone found out, she'd eat but then go throw up. I have no idea why she's doing it again."
"Wow, why did she before?"
" Her boyfriend was a real prick and called her fat dancer or something. She's never been fat, not once in her life. Then she had the pressures of being a gymnast and a dancer. Maybe its because she's dancing seriously again...I don't know?" Nick shook his head in frustration.
"Let me talk to her." Nick nodded his head and sat down. Brian waited outside the rest room door for me. When I came out I saw him. He had a concerned look on his face.
" I'm olay. Its probably a tummy bug." I pated my stomach lightly and smiled.
" Stace, you know your gorgeous right. You have the perfect body and you are the perfect woman any guy could wish for. You're amazing in every way."
I felt my face turn red. That totally came out of no where from Brian. " Thank you Bri."
"Whatever diet you may be on, get off it. You don't need it."
"What diet?"
" I know it must be hard for you, especially since you went through this when you were fourteen. You're only going to hurt yourself."
I thought for a moment. 'what happened when I was fourteen?' I thought to myself. Then I remembered.
"You think I'm anorexic and bulimic again?!"
"Just the signs and because of your past. I'm-we're worried about you and your health."
"Its a bug going around. I am not on any diet or whatever."
"Stace, hun come on."
"No you come on Brian! You're supposed to be my friend. Nick thinks so too, doesn't he?"
"Well he's the one who just told me about you. But before its too late, let us help you."
"Damnit Brian! Trust me!" I yelled and walked away. I walked past everyone and went out to the bus. Instead of going on the guys bus I went on the dancers.
As soon as I got on it I threw myself on an empty bunk.
"Anastasia?" Lena came by me. "Hun what is it?"
"Its the flu. I didn't make myself throw up. You have to believe me. Nick and Brian don't believe me." I sighed. "That's what hurts the most."
She pulled me into a hug. " I believe you."
"Stacey let me talk to you." Nick asked from outside the bus.
" I don't want to talk to him yet." She nodded her head and walked to the entrance.
"Nick she doesn't want to see you right now."
"But she's-"
"She has a stomach bug. That's it. It really hurts her that you and Brian don't trust her."
"You don't understand. When she was younger she had an eating problem. She got sick. I don't want that to-"
"Stomach bug Nick. Now get on your bus. We'll see you at the venue. With that Lena closed the door and walked to the back of the bus.
The whole night I wouldn't speak to either Brian or Nick. I had finished getting ready and was stretching.
"Hey Kid."
"Hi Kev."
"Feeling okay?"
"Stomach is a little queasy but yeah I'll be fine."
"If you need anything-"
" I'll come to you."
" I was going to say go to A.J." I punched his arm playfully.
Later on in the show, we were in the middle of "It's Gotta Be You" when the guys announce us dancers.
"And last but definitely not least. Anastasia Robinson!" A.J. yelled in the microphone. "Take a bow doll." I smiled and took one. The song went on and there was this section where one of the guys spins us to another guy. So Howie spun me to Brian. As Brian brought me in for a kick paroet, he said "I believe and trust you'' and gave me a smile. Brian spun me to Kevin then I went to Nick. He had the saddest eyes on him. "Baby I'm sorry." He whispered in my ear. That was sweet and all but he still didn't trust me. After the show I changed into my flair sweat pants and a tank top. I was just walking out of the dressing room and Nick took my hand.
"Where are we going?"
"Just come on."
So I followed him and we walked up to this cat walk thing. You could see the whole stadium.
" I just want to talk to you alone."
"So we had to come way up here?"
"You need a little excitement on this tour. Look Anastasia, I do believe you. But look at my point of view. I just didn't want you to get sick. You've been through too much and if you were to get hurt one more time, physically or emotionally it will break my heart. Anastasia Marie, I love you. I love you so much more than just a friend." He searched my eyes.
"I-Nick, I love you too." I said with tears in my eyes. I gave him a kiss and it lasted for a while.
Chapter Thirty-Two
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