Title:blood, sweat, and tears...a humorous look at aerobics
Author:Lexie
Rating R for language
Content: humor
Disclaimer: I don't own the x-files...if I did I wouldn't know what to do with
it
Summary: Scully takes an aerobics class only to end up investigating the
teachers viscous attack
Dedication: thank you to heather for coming to hellercise with me, and a
special thanks to my aerobics teacher christie..I really do love you but...
thank you to the public education system and Lincoln high school for educating
me...NOT!! thanks to mu family for supporting writing...yeah right...thanks to
Lota for,um being a good friend and thanks to troy and chris without whom this
story wouldn't be possible because they are my inspiration for attending
aerobics..oh yeah thanks to the YMCA for employing me so I get free membership
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Scully put down her gym bag and looked around. only a small handful of people
were there. She looked at them trying to decide if anyone else was new to the
class. There was a woman in her thirties, an elderly man, a young, overweight
pre-teen and two teen girls laughing about something.Then she saw the
teacher.She was young, in her twenties, maybe early thirties at the most.She
was skinny and pretty and full of energy.
"OK let's get started, we need steps today"
Everyone walked over to the wall and got steps and weights. they started with a
warm up. Scully was exhausted after only a few minutes
"Come on energy" the instructor called
*Shut up* Scully thought
after the warm up they started with toning..the first torture move was squats.
"Bend back not forward"The teacher told Scully
*Go to hell* Scully thought a few more minutes of squats and Scully's thighs
were screaming.
*I'm in pain*she thought* how much longer*
"come on 8 more"
*8!, my legs won't last that long stupid anerexic energetic teacher*
"OK now it's time for step let's go whoo!"
*I'm going to kill her* after the cardio work out Scully was out of breath and
miserable
"Let's jog now...or power walk if you want"
*walk*
When walking was done Scully was convinced she had died and gone to hell
*water, water*
"Let's do wights now"
*go away*
"You need to bend your elbows"
*Fuck off*
When the class ended Scully was convinced she never set foot into the gym
again. She would be fat and out of shape before she went to another aerobics
class
"You did well for your first time"
"Thank you"
"I hope you come back"
"I might"
the next time Scully saw her, she was in the hospital after being beaten that
night with a blunt object
"What do we have her Mulder?"
"An aerobics instructor. She was beaten about an hour after her class with some
kind of blunt object"
"Any suspects?"
"No known enemies, no one out to get her, she was very well liked"
"I think any one who took her class would be considered a suspect"
"Why's that"
"When you're sweating buckets and in pain and some energetic skinny teacher
tells you to feel it, murderous thoughts race through your head"
"How would you know?"
"I took her class last night"
"then that would make you a suspect"
"then you would have to investigate this by yourself"
"Alright everyone except you is a suspect"
"But that's not fair, I was with you at the time of the attack though so I have
an alibi"
"Alright then, who else was there"
"Two teenage girls, a preteen, an elderly woman and two middle aged women"
"Alright let's start there"
They began with the preteen. Her name was Amanda
"Hello, I'm agent Mulder and this is Agent Scully we'd like to ask you a few
questions about The attack on the aerobics instructor"
"Ok. but i don't know anything..I went to class like I do every week and I left
right after"
"Can you think of anything out of the ordinary that day"
"No nothing"
"Alright thank you for your time"
The rest of the day went pretty much like that. No one knew anything, no one
saw anything and no one seemed guilty. They had talked to everyone except the
two teens. That was where they were headed.
"Hello, we'd like to ask you a few questions about the aerobics instructor"
"what aerobics instructor i don't know any aerobics instructor do you have a
warrant you can't question us without our lawyer present"
"ignore her, she's had too much nutrasweet"
Mulder and Scully exchanged uneasy glances but simply nodded
"as you know your aerobics instructor was attacked yesterday night"
"We hadn't heard. Is she alright?"
"Yeah, she'll be fine.We believe that you might know something"
"Who, us, why would we know anything"
"Did anything seem unusual Friday night at class"
"No nothing youcan'tquestionuslikethiswe'reinnocentitellyou innocent"
"It's's the pie but she's correct you can't question us legally"
"We aren't accusing you of anything we'd just like to know if anything happened
that seemed weird"
"Alright i confess we beat her with a trout.she was too perky we couldn't stand
it!"
Mulder and Scully stared. They didn't know what to say
"We'll have to arrest you"
"At least there's no aerobics in jail"
"Is there nutrasweet in jail?"
the end
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this was written after my weekly hellercise i mean aerobics class. it was meant
in good fun i swear I'm not planning to beat my aerobics instructor with a
trout