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Frieza Interviews Master Roshi

Frieza: Hello all!

Crowd: Hello Frieza!

Frieza: Welcome to Season 2 of my show. Man it sure has been one wild and crazy ride. Right kiddies? Anyway we have a new super duper season full of warm, fuzzy, and cute things! Dear god who wrote these q-cards?

Script Writer: I did! I think it’s my best work yet. I think this will be the season that we win the Emmy!

Frieza: Dear God my head….can’t take much more….stupidity….ahhh DIE! **Shoots Script Writer’s body off and has his head rolling**

Man 1: **Picks up Script Writer’s head** I got a free head! Just wait to I show it to my kids. We can use this thing for shooting practice. Then after that we can play some violent video games. It sure will be fun!

Frieza: Um….ok. You just go with that. Anyway my guest for today is……MASTER ROSHI!!!

**Master Roshi is walking very slowly to his chair**

Master Roshi: Oh I don’t think I can make it. Someone will have to carry me. **Starts to bump into things** Ahhh I can’t see with these sunglasses.

Frieza: Then why do you keep wearing them?

Master Roshi: **Sits in his chair** Because all the ladies dig men wearing sunglasses.

Woman 1: No we don’t.

Frieza: SHUT UP! You will get your chance to speak and I tell you {bad word}! Now my first question…

Master Roshi: Don’t you mean your second question?

Frieza:…..**Smacks Master Roshi up-side the head** Don’t question me!

Master Roshi: You knocked my hearing aid out. You little {bad word}.

Frieza: Whatever. Ok here is my FIRST question. How old are you?

Master Roshi: **Just sees Frieza’s lips move** I told you I can’t hear a thing.

Frieza: Oh don’t give me that! Just tell me how old are you.

Master Roshi: **Pops his hearing aid back in** Ahh now I can hear. What did you say again?

Frieza: Ok….I said…..**Gets in Master Roshi ear** HOW OLD ARE YOU!!!!!!

Master Roshi: OUCH!!!! You didn’t have to yell I can hear you. I am around…650 years old.

Frieza: {bad word} that is old. Ok for my second question….

Master Roshi: I thought you already ask your second question?

Frieza: You question me one more time I swear I will break those sun glasses.

Master Roshi: Epp! No don’t do that. Then all the woman would think I’m ugly.

Woman 1: We already thing you’re ugly!

Frieza: THAT’S IT! Men throw her into THE PIT!

**Two men take her and throw her into The Pit**

Frieza: Ok now for my SECOND question. How many porno magazines do you have?

Master Roshi: Over six hundred and counting.

Frieza: You must be a sad lonely man….

Master Roshi: Yes…yes I am…..**sniff** can you give me a hug.

Frieza: Don’t touch me.

Master Roshi: Ahh come on lady. Just give me a hug.

Frieza: Did you call me a lady?

Master Roshi: Well, you are a woman.

Frieza: Ok that’s it….YOU’RE DEAD! **Punches Master Roshi in the face**

Master Roshi: Ahhh you broke my sun glasses! That’s it. Ka…….me…..ha…me….ehh……ack! **Falls down**

Frieza: Um…..are you ok? **Kicks Master Roshi**

Master Roshi: My…..heart……..**Dies**

Frieza: {bad word} sucks to be him.

Producer: FRIEZA! Didn’t I tell you that you have to stop killing your guest?!

Frieza: But he had a heart attack. I didn’t have anything to do with that…..well maybe….

Producer: We will talk about this later.

Frieza: **Mumbles** I have him so much….. Anyway that’s it so goodbye all!