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Best Slash Comedy/Fluff

Couple: X/S

Rating: NC17

Distibution: Like it? Take it!

Feed back: Yes please!

Disclaimer: Sadly Joss owns all.

Summary: Dawn casts a spell on Spike and Xander, but it doesn't go as planned. Author's notes: Anya and Xander are not together, Spike and Buffy never happened.

Have I mentioned that I'm evil?


Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Part One

Dawns POV

It wasn't supposed to happen like this. Really, it wasn't! They were fighting so much it was driving everyone crazy! I was only trying to help. So I got into some of Willows spell books, I thought it was a good idea at the time. But it wasn't supposed to happen like this.

They were supposed to become friends. You know, the 'hey let's get a beer together after patrol' kind of friends. Not the 'hey, let's have sweaty naked fun' kind of friends. Although, that visual isn't neccesarily a bad one. What? I'm not THAT innocent! Look at them, you can't tell me you would look away if you saw them all sweaty and naked. See!

So, three days ago while everyone was out patrolling and I was at home, 'doing my homework' yeah right! I cast a spell on them. How was I supposed to know it would turn out like this? I've only ever floated a pencil before!

Thank God no one knows it was me who did this. I just know they're going to be pissed when spell gets broken. I caught them outside the magic box groping each other last night. I knew right then and there that something was terribly wrong. So I went home and did the reversal spell. Obviously it didn't work, cause they're all snuggly on the sofa and kissing and touching each other. Again, not complaining about the visual. It's sorta sexy actually.

The others have been researching for a 'cure', Buffy says it's giving her a wiggins. Anya just wants to watch them, and Giles has been taking notes. I can only assume it's for his watcher journals, not for personal reasons cause that would give ME a wiggins! Too bad Willows not here, she could probably figure this out.


Spikes POV

I've been shaggin' the arse off the whelp for the last three bloody days. Yep, that's right. Spike, William the Bloody, has been rutting like an animal with Xander fucking Harris. What's worse? I hope it never bloody stops!

We were out patrolling together, I usually take the lad with me since he's such a demon magnet and all, make sure I see some action that night. Anyway, so we're in the middle of the cemetary when I feel it. The unmistakable feeling of magic, like spiders crawling up yer spine. So I look over at the whelp to make sure he's still there and I get caught in his eyes. I'm just looking at him, I can see hunger in his eyes, lust, passion, overwhelming fucking need in his eyes. All of a sudden I feel it too. I throw myself at him, we end up on the grass under a tree tearing at each other. I took him right there in the middle of the cemetary, demons be damned. It's a good thing the nasties were all inside that night, I couldn't have stopped for a bloody apocolypse!

Dragged the boy home after that, got him to my crypt and took him against the door. Fucking a human is nothing like fucking a vampire. It's better in some ways, there's the heat first of all. Nothing like sliding into all that hot flesh, being surrounded by the pulse of living blood as you thrust into willing flesh. And it's always been willing flesh for me. I don't get off on rape, well not on the doing part of it anyway, but that's Angelus for you, and a whole other story for another time.

He insisted we go to his apartment before sunrise, something about a shower. I know he mentioned a few other things after that but I was still lost in the idea of having him on his knees in front of me in the shower, hot water pouring down on me while I thrust into that hot sweet mouth of his. Yeah, so I pretty much threw him over my shoulder and ran back to his place.

We were in the apartment just long enough to close and lock the door when he knocked me to the floor. I struggled at first, it's a natural defense mechanism. Survive a session of sex with Angelus and you'll understand. I stopped struggling when I realized that the boy was talking to me. He was telling me how much he wanted me, how he wanted to be inside me, that he wouldn't hurt me, not that he could mind you but he didn't know that. So I gave up my struggles and let him take me. Now I've never played bottom to anyone other than Angelus, and only then cause I had no choice. I get off on a little pain just the same as the next vampire but being done dry by a randy demon will turn just about anyone off of taking it up the ass again. Xander, and I guess I should start using his name, was real good about it. He got some oil from the kitchen and made it good for me. He took it slow, well as slow as possible for a couple of blokes under a lust spell.

I never knew it could be like that. Yeah I've taken a man or two into my bed in the last century, but I always topped. I knew they enjoyed themselves, I just figured it was cause I was pulling their cock while I pounded them. Now I know different. Almost makes me wonder if Angelus has a bleedin clue what he's doing in the sack. No wonder Darla was such a bitch. Sexual frustration I'd bet.

Well, after the floor show we finally did get that shower. And yeah, I got him on his knees, lips wrapped around my cock, hot water enveloping me, a vampires wet dream that was. The boy was exhausted after that so I washed him up, and if I lingered over certain places until I had to wash him a second time then that was my perogative, he didn't complain. Unless 'yeah, fuck, Spike!' and 'oh god yes!' are complaints. I dried him off and tumbled him into bed, made sure the curtains were drawn tight and climbed in after him.

Not sure how long we slept, I woke up to a hot mouth wrapped around my aching cock, a wet tongue sliding up and down my shaft. I came alot sooner than I would have liked but hey, no complaints. Then I'm being kissed like there's no tommorrow, and seeing as there's a spell on us there might not be a tommorow for us so I kissed back just as ferociously. Xander lifted my legs and pushed my knees into my chest. He lowered himself until his face was at my groin again. I wondered what he was going to do, but then I got my answer when he licked me. I have never, in my entire century and then some existense, had anyone lick my ass. I've missed out! His tongue flicking over my opening, nudging it's way inside, probing into me in a parody of what his cock was going to do to me was almost too much. I was hard again in an instant. He crawled up the bed toward me and reached past me for the table beside the bed. He pulled a tube of lubricant from the drawer and sat back on his heels and looked at me. It was that same look from the night before in the cemetary. He prepared me quickly and then slid inside.

Having a human fuck you is way better than a vampire! At least in my opinion. The feeling of hot slippery flesh sliding into you over and over again, the scorching heat of hot cum painting your insides, a warm fist wrapped around your dick pulling you to completion. The pleasure without the pain. It was all I could do to drag my sorry self out of bed after that.

We spent the rest of the day in bed. We got up to eat a couple of times and to shower once. I got down on my knees for him that time. We didn't fuck the whole day away, I may be undead but even I have limits, and the boy is human, even if he is a viking in the sack. I can see why Anya was so obsessed about the sex. We talked a bit, learned a little about each other. He told me about his laughable track record in the romance department. Incects, Mummies, frigid cheerleaders, rogue slayers, and ex vengence demons. Quite the pattern there. Cordelia was the only fully human one the boy was involved with. Mind you from what I hear, that isn't exactly the case nowadays. I told him about Cecily, stupid bint. Told him how if it weren't for her rejecting me Dru would have never seen me an' turned me. Didn't tell him about the poetry though, not gonna either!

We went by the magic box that night, had to check in with the rest of the bloody scooby gang, that's when the lil' bit caught us snogging out in the alley. Pretty damn funny actually. She turned all red and got this gob-smacked look on her face. She told the others, Slutty, Anya and the watcher. Red took off somewhere, don't have a clue where, don't care either. I couldn't keep my hands off the boy all night. Then again he was feeling me up pretty good as well. Rupes threatened to chain us both in the bath tub. I could smell the arousal coming off the boy when he heard the word 'chains'. Watcher must have figured it out too cause he never mentioned the chains again.

Slayer kept glaring at me, like it was my fault! If I was gonna get someone to put the whammy on one of the scoobies to be my fuck toy, I wouldn't have picked Xander. 'Sides, I would have made it one sided, not done it to myself as well. Most likely would have picked the Slayer herself to be my puppet. Not that she'd have to worry about that anymore. There's one thing that I want that she aint got, a cock. Never thought of myself as a bloody poof, but there's just so much more fun to be had with a lad!

Anya kept looking at us like she wanted to join in. Not gonna happen! She dumped the boy, he's mine now! Xander didn't seem too concerned about the way she was looking at us so I ignored her. We left before anyone got too much of a free show. Didn't quite make it home before I couldn't take it any longer. We ducked into an alley, thank God Sunnydale has alot of them, and I fucked him up against the wall. It was enough to hold us over until we got inside.

I took him to bed and was in the middle of giving him one of my very skilled blowjobs when I felt it. The spider crawling sense again. Magic in the air, I realized that whatever spell I was under had been broken. I briefly considered stopping, but then figured if the boy wanted me to stop, he'd say something right? So I finished him off and then pounced on him. Had my wicked way with him and then stayed wrapped around him as we slept.

The spell still seems to be affecting Xander. The way he woke me this morning, same way as yesterday, tells me that he's still under the influence. Me? I played along. I'm quite enjoying this side of him. Uninhibited, sure of himself, aggresive. I figure as long as he's still willing I'm not gonna give this up. So here I am, snuggled up on the Slayers sofa with the boy. The rest of them trying to find some way to break this spell. I figure it'll wear off of him in the next day or so, humans just take longer to over come the effects of magic than demons do. And since this might be my last night with the whelp I'm gonna take him home and shag him 'till he can't stand! Then I'll let him do the same to me.


Xanders POV

I wonder if you can go to hell for willingly sleeping with souless, chipped vampires? If so I'm in big trouble! See my friends over there? They're researching their little hearts out trying to find a way to break a spell that is already broken. Yeah, I'm evil I know. But what can I say?

It started off as an uncontrollable impulse, I had to have Spike. I mean I HAD to have Spike. I couldn't stop myself. I could hear my inner voice yelling at me, things like 'EEEWWW! Spike lips! Lips of Spike!' and assorted other nasty things. But once the clothes came off it was a whole other story. I never considered myself gay, I still don't really. It's not like I want to run out and fuck any other guys, just Spike. Thank God Anya was a sex addict or I never would have survived these past few days. There's something to be said for building up your tolerance.

In the middle of one of the best blow-jobs I've had in my life, the spell wears off. I knew it the instant it happened. This burning ache that I'd felt from the begining had just disappeared. I was half out of my mind thinking that Spike was going to stop and get up and leave. He just paused a beat and then went right back to it. Thank God for that, I don't know what I would have done if he'd stopped.

So yeah, I'm faking. I know he's faking too, but I don't think he know's that I am, I'm evil. I'll keep this up as long as I can. The sex is fantastic! Besides it's so much fun to watch Buffy squirm, yep evil, watch Anya get jealous, evil again, Giles has been taking notes which kinda creeps me out but sooo not going there!

Once Wills gets back from Seattle with her parents she'll know that there's no spell on us. Good thing she won't be home for at least another week! Dawn is going to be in soooo much trouble for messing with her books! What? You thought I hadn't figured out it was her? Please! I'm not as stupid as people think I am.

Oh, looks like my vampire is getting a little antsy. Guess I'll have to take him home and fuck him through the floor. Again. Who knew Spike would like gettting fucked so much? Not that I'm complaining, I'm just going to enjoy this for as long as it lasts. Have I mentioned that I'm evil?

Part Two ~ Evil Abounds

Buffy's POV

Thank God Willow will be home soon! I swear I've left a thousand messages for her, has she returned any of them? NOOOO! I mean seriously, if I have to see them making out again I'm going to scream! Why would Xander want to kiss Spike? I've kissed Spike, I remember Spike lips! Nothing special there, no reason to keep kissing them at all. Fine! So he's a good kisser. Doesn't mean that Xander should be kissing him, or anything else for that matter.

Speaking of anything else. I walked in on them in Giles bathroom! God! All I wanted to do was use was the toilet, now I'll never be able to walk into that room without seeing them, all naked, and....writhing. It was very disturbing. I've never seen men do.....that....before, and I was in NO way turned on by it! When I find out who cast this spell they will pay, all the cookies in the world won't make up for this! I wonder if they listen to Wind beneath my wings?


Anya's POV

It's not fair! If I had known that Xander would have sex with Spike I would have suggested a threesome while we were still dating. I only broke up with him because I wanted to try sex with other people. I was a demon for 1100 years, and since becoming human I've only had sex with one person. If I had known Xander was bisexual we could have invited Spike to join us, and Willow as well. I am curious about lesbian sex, although I think I like penises too much to convert.

I tried to suggest that the three of us could do something together, hinting that I wanted to sleep with them both. They either didn't understand what I was getting at or didn't want me to interfere. I'm not sure which, but by the way Spike keeps glaring at me and flashing his fangs when Xander isn't looking, I'm guessing that he got it, and definately doesn't plan on sharing Xander. Damn possesive vampires! He was mine first!


Giles POV

This really would be quite a fascinating tale to send the council. That's not what I'm keeping notes for however. I was at first keeping track of their behaviour to try to pinpoint the spell used on them. But when the spell wore off and they continued to pretend it hadn't, I kept the notebook to track their progress. It's quite entertaining.

The first night that we found out they were in an almost mindless lust. I threatened to chain them in the tub, my mistake. I honestly never thought Xander was the bondage type, Spike yes, but he's a vampire after all. By the time we saw them next, the spell had been lifted yet they were still carrying on as though it was affecting them. I kept silent wanting to see where this was going.

Their behaviour has changed dramatically this past week, I wonder that I'm the only one to notice. Although Anya is too busy being jealous, Buffy is trying to convince herself that they disgust her, and Dawn either looks guilty as hell (which she should!) or aroused at the sight of them. One of these days I must ask her what her original intentions were, I certainly hope she hadn't planned on this or her and I are going to have a serious talk.

I figure once it comes out in the open that there is no longer a spell, which honestly I don't know why they're still hiding behind that, I can show them both this notebook. It should prove, by keeping track of the way they act toward each other, that there is more to their relationship than sex. And if not, I'm sure it will make usefull blackmail material. Perhaps I'll threaten the boy to distribute copies to his workmates if he doesn't stop calling me "G-man". And I'm sure Angel would love to have a copy as well. Okay, so Ripper is a little closer to the surface these days. Being around Xander and Spike just reminds me of my youth, and Ethan.

Willow will be back tonight so hopefully this nonsence will stop soon.


Willows POV

Well, I got home last night to find almost fifty messages on my answering machine. Apparently someone ~Dawn~ cast a spell on Xander and Spike. So for the last week and a half they've been all over each other. No one seems to be able to figure out how to break it. Of course there's no spell to break but that's not my story to tell. Oh there was one to begin with, but the magic signature is old, plus the reversal was a success.

I talked to Spike first, he tried to bluff me. The Willow resolve face wins again! It's nice to know that I can stare down the Big Bad. He caved and admitted to me that yeah, the spell had worn off but seeing as Xander was still affected he played along. I threatened to turn him into a newt if he was using my best friend for sex. He admitted that although he never would have thought about Xander that way before the spell, he really did like him and hoped to be able to continue seeing him after the spell wore off. I gave him the shovel talk, then I wished him luck.

Xander was my next target. I slapped him upside the head and asked him how long he planned on lying to everyone. He had the decency to blush and not insult my intelligence by lying to me. He said he was having fun and wasn't quite ready to stop playing with Spike yet. That kind of pissed me off, Spike is a friend, sort of, and if Xander was using him I was going to put a stop to it. He assured me that wasn't the way he meant it. He does really like Spike. He wanted me to keep quiet for a day or two just so I could see the reaction of the gang. I decided to humor him. OH MY GOD! I wish I could have seen them the first time, they were so funny.

Dawn keeps watching them and blushing, she doesn't look away though. Anya is positively seething! I don't know whether she is jealous of Spike being with Xander or Xander being with Spike, one thing is obvious though. She wants in on it. Sooo not gonna happen. Buffy, now this is the best, she keeps wrinkling her nose like something smells bad everytime they touch, but when they start kissing and groping she starts muttering under her breath about 'Spike lips' and 'Wind beneath my wings' and 'all the cookies in the world not making up for this spell' and she won't use Giles's bathroom, it's quite funny actually.

Giles has been carrying around a notepad. The others have told me he's been writing in it since this whole thing started. Dawn and Xander are both a little squicked about that. As if Giles would be taking notes on their sex lives! I snuck a look at it when he was in the bathroom. It seems that Giles knows there's no spell either, he has been writing everything down, Buffy's reactions, Anya's jealousy, Dawn's guilty behaviour and the boys growing affection for each other. I'm not sure what he plans on doing with it. I'm just glad that Xander and Dawn were wrong, cause eewww!


Spike's POV

The witch came to see me today, said she needed to see me and Xander separately to determine the effects of the spell or some such rot. I tried to bullshit her, didn't work though. So she knows that I've been shagging Xander of my own free will for the past week. I didn't tell her but I suspect the boy's been faking it as well. After about three days of waiting for the spell to wear off I realized that he was probably playing the same game as I was. Not complaining, means he wants me, not just because of some spell. I do wonder why he's keeping up the act though.

Red gave me the infamous shovel talk. Bossy little bint! I believe she'd do it too. I wonder if she ever gave the demon bint the "talk"? Speaking of which, if that bitch thinks she's getting her hands on my Xander again she's off her nut! Even went so far as to suggest a threesome! As if I'd want anything to do with that bossy, self-centered little bitch! I think she finally understands that he's mine, all the growling I've been doing at her and showing her my fangs should have sunk in by now!

I don't remember a time I've enjoyed sex this much in my whole bloody life! Xander is one hell of a shag! I almost prefer to bottom! The lad is very inventive, and flexible! I never shagged on a swing before, that was a new experience. Too bad the bloody fledges had to come by and break it short. I was enjoying myself. Course I never fought off three fledges with my jeans around me ankles and my tackle hanging out before either. And where was my Xanpet while this was going on? Sitting on the bloody swing still, stroking himself and cheering me on. I threw him to the ground and fucked the hell out of him once the vamps were dust.

My unlife is looking up, I stay at Xander's place all the time now, We patrol together at night, we go to bed together, shag each other senseless, he goes to work in the morning, I hate that part, and then when he comes home I climb into the shower with him. I'll have to thank whoever put that bloody hex on us. I wonder how much longer Xander's going to keep up the act? I'm ready to come out of the spell closet, now.


Xanders POV

Well, Wills came home last night. I talked to her today and as I figured she knew right away. I told her I was having too much fun to stop playing, she thought I was using Spike. That's good actually, at least I know Wills won't freak that I want to keep him. He must know by now that I'm not under a spell. He's plays a nice idiot but he's far more intelligent than we give him credit for. I wonder why he hasn't called me on it? It's a good sign though right? If he knows and he isn't making fun, or running away. Must mean that he wants me too, right? God, could I be any more needy?

I told Wills to give it a couple of days, I want her to see the way the gang act around us. We've been especially touchy tonight, I want to give her a good show. Buffy and Anya are still clueless but I think G-man has figured it out. I'm surprised he hasn't said anything. He must be enjoying watching the girls squirm as much as I am.

I've had a complete blast the past week. Spike is unbelievable in bed. Or on any surface for that matter. I don't think there's anywhere we haven't had sex. Buffy cought us in Giles bathroom, Spike was nailing me to the floor when she walked in. I would have laughed at the look on her face but Iwas a bit preoccupied at the time. I told Spike about it afterwards and we had a good laugh.

Actually I've had alot of good times this past week. Spike and I were making out in the park on patrol one night when inspiration hit. Let's just skip to the part where he's stradling me on the swing with my cock up his ass shall we? Things were going along quite nicely when we were interrupted by three minions out for a stroll. You know the saying "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"? Well scorned women have got nothing on Spike when he's interrupted in the middle of a good shag. He dusted all three of those Vamps with his pants down and his cock hard. I watched and waited until he was done, then I was on the ground and being being fucked into the earth itself. Ah, memories.

But it's not just the sex, I mean that's great and all but it's more. I like Spike, I mean really like. It's wierd but I've gotten to know him, in more than the biblical sense. He's really smart, has a wicked sense of humor, can talk about just about anything, he watches Star Trek! He likes to cuddle, and kiss for the sake of kissing. He rubs my shoulders when I'm stiff and tense after a hard day at work and he lets me be myself. Not the errand boy or the entertainment. I want him in my life, permanently. I think it's time to talk to my vampire.

Part Three ~ What evil is this?

Dawns POV

Well, I am officially grounded for a month and Willow is refusing to teach me any more spells until I appear sorry enough for her standards. So basically I'll still be floating pencils when I'm forty!

Xander and Spike came by the shop last night and told everyone that they were faking being under a spell. They said that for the first two days they were under a spell but after that they were just playing us. Needless to say Buffy, Anya, and I were the only ones who didn't know.

Giles lectured me on the uses of magic, he warned me against casting any more love spells. You should have seen the look on Buffy's face! She was sooo mad. Spike was shocked, Xander just smiled at me, I think he knew it was my fault. I told them that it wasn't supposed to be a love spell. Just a friendship spell so they would stop arguing all the time. I'm still not sure what I did wrong, but Willow said that when I was ungrounded she would go over the spell with me and figure it out.

I'm glad the spell messed up. Spike was so unhappy being alone, and Xander was miserable after Anya dumped him. Now that they have each other they look so happy. Besides, it's fun to watch them gross Buffy out and piss Anya off.


Spikes POV

Where should I start then? How about from when the whelp and I got back to his place last night. We weren't in the door more than thirty seconds before I had him pinned to the couch. I knew something was up with him, the way he suddenly wanted to leave the shop, the silence on the walk back. I figured he was going to put an end to our little game so I wanted to have him at least once more before he wisened up and realized he was shagging a demon. Gave him a right good display of what he was giving up, I did.

My surprise when he didn't tell me to sod off, and get out. He told me the truth, all of it. Said he knew when the spell had ended, that yeah the timing sucked - pun intended - but by that time he didn't want it to be over. Said he was sure that I'd stop what I was doing - mainly him - and leave. He figured that he had to play victim a while longer to see if I still wanted him. Silly boy, I would have left if I didn't.

We talked about the gangs reaction to us, laughed our asses off about it actually. I told him about Anya's wanting in on us, he knew. Guess he should, he dated the bint after all. And joy of all joy's, he doesn't want her involved! Said that I'm more than enough for him, doesn't want to screw this up by adding a third, and never her anyway. Thank Satan! So yeah, we're good. Gonna take things one day at a time, we've both been hurt before, neither of us want to go through that again.

Couldn't believe my ears when I found out that little bit was responsible for the mojo, what the hell was she thinking? Casting a shag spell on the whelp and me? Didn't know she was that evil, made me right proud, it did. Course it turns out it was a mistake, she meant to make us chums, not bum-chums. Oh well, worked out in my favor. Thought the slayer was gonna have a coranary! Funny as fucking hell, I haven't had such a good time since this soddin' chip was implanted. Xander knew, I could tell by the way he was grinning. The boy is evil, and I love it. Playing his friends like that, hell he had me fooled for a while. I could fall for this boy, right easy.


Anya's POV

If I had my powers I'd shrink Spike's penis to the size of my pinky! And then I'd make his fangs fall out! And Xander? Oh I'd really have fun there, I'd make his blood run with holy water, his skin taste of garlic. I'd have blessed cross tatoos put on his body in all the interesting places. He'd never have another vampire in his bed as long as he lived!

Damn selfish men! All I wanted was to have orgasms with the two of them, not that much right? I mean most men would love the offer of no strings sex with an attractive woman. Is there something wrong with me? Am I not attractive enough? Maybe I need bigger breasts?


Xanders POV

That could have gone better. Spike and I are fine, we're still together and the sex is even better now that we both know it's not about a spell. I didn't think it could get better, boy was I wrong! There were no declarations of undying love, or any kind of love for that matter. It's too soon for both of us. I don't want to be hurt and neither does Spike

The guys took this about as well as I expected, Anya is glaring at us, thank God she doesn't have her powers anymore or I'm sure we would both be in a world of hurt right about now. Dawn looks thoroughly chastized, between Willow and Giles she's been lectured to well, not death, but almost comatose. Giles looks relieved, when we first told them he pulled out his notebook - I still wonder what that's all about - and looked as if he was going to give it to us. Then he noticed that we were holding hands and smiling. He put it away. Wierd. Willow of course is fine. She knew. But Buffy, oh my God, Buffy was not okay with this. She ranted, she raved, she glared at Dawn for starting the whole thing. She went off on a thirty minute rant about the evils of magic, and vampires, and how Spike's not gay neither am I. Giles tried to interrupt her a few times, no go. I made popcorn. Spike and I settled in on the couch and ate as we watched her. It was very entertaining. I only wish I'd had a video camera. Then she ended the whole thing by calling Angel in LA and demanding that he come and take Spike away with him. Like that's going to happen! Deadboy is not taking my vampire away, I'll stake him first.


Angel's POV

The only explanation I can come up with is that the entire Sunnydale gang is possessed. Buffy called me three hours ago yelling and screaming about Spike corrupting Xander and Xander must be possessed. There was something said about spells and Dawn, and Ruperts bathroom. Honestly the whole thing was surreal. So I did what any sane warrior for the Powers would do. I hid away in my office until Cordelia forced me to go to Sunnydale. I didn't want to, she made me. Said if I didn't go there then Buffy would drag Xander and Spike here, and there was no way she was putting up with that. So, rather than face the wrath of Cordy I got in my car and drove to Sunnydale.

What evil is this? Things are worse than I expected. Spike and Xander are cuddled up together on Ruperts sofa, kissing! I jumped the gun a bit and attacked Xander, I pulled him off Spike and then I attacked Spike as well. Rupert and Buffy restrained me before anyone was hurt, but Xander pulled my hair! Now I probably look stupid. I don't have a comb, or gel or anything to fix it with. I just know Spike is laughing at me!

Willow, Dawn and Rupert seem to be fine with this situation. I can't begin to explain how far from fine this is. Spike is a vampire, a souless, evil demon, who is curled up in a watchers house with a friend and alli of the slayer. And the only ones to have a problem with this are Buffy, which I expected, and Anya who is apparently Xanders ex-demon, ex-girlfriend. Have I mentioned how glad I am to live in LA?

Rupert is looking between me and this notebook, I assume it's something I should know about so I hold my hand out for it. It seems to be notes on everything that has happened between Spike and Xander since this started. As well as Ruperts thoughts on the events. Maybe I should read this before jumping to anymore conclusions.


Gile's POV

By the time Angel arrived, everyone was pretty much settled down. Everyone that is except Buffy. She was still muttering things like 'wait until Angel gets here' and 'it has to be possession'. She just doesn't understand.

Angel himself jumped right on the Buffy bandwagon. He assumed we were all possessed or something, other than Buffy that is. I'm not sure what he thinks about Anya, he seems to be avoiding her, could have something to do with the way she's been eyeing him since he got here. Poor fellow.

Spike and Xander are enjoying this far too much. I'm sure this is great fun for the two of them, and even though I do find it somewhat amusing myself I think it's time to show Angel the book. Perhaps he will be able to put aside his suspicions, stop attacking them and understand what is really going on here.


Anya's POV

So that's Angel? Not bad, I can see why Buffy obsesses over him. He looks like he would give good orgasms. I wonder if he would like to give me some? I know he goes all evil if he has a moment of perfect happiness, but I'm not looking for happiness, just sex. He shouldn't lose his soul if it's just sex.

I mean, it would almost make up for not getting Xander and Spike. He's like the both of them in one body, he has dark hair and brown eyes like Xander, he's well muscled, broad shouldered also like Xander. Plus he's a vampire like Spike, so he'd have the stamina and the experience. I definately would sleep with him.


Xander's POV

Giles just gave Angel the notebook. I don't know how I feel about that. I don't even know what's in it and he's letting deadboy read it. It's been alot of fun since Angel got here, Spike's been even more affectionate than lately, I know he's doing it to freak Angel out but hey, I'll play along.

I thought he was going to kill us both when we started kissing in front of him. Spike's idea of course, I didn't have a chance to stop him. He just pulled me close and kissed me until I couldn't think straight. I pulled away to breathe but by then it was too late, I was too far gone. I jumped on him, pinned him underneath me and tried to remove his tonsils with my tongue. Next thing I know, one very large, snarling, game faced Angel is pulling me away from my lover and jumping on him. I did the only thing I could think of, I grabbed him by the hair and pulled him off. Spike is MINE! I'm not letting Angel or anyone else for that matter hurt him. Buffy and Giles pulled me off of him and him away from Spike. I wasn't going to hurt him, much. Honestly.

Spike keeps looking over at Angel and making this face, almost a smile but not quite. It could be a smirk, but it somehow. Whatever it is, it's making Angel squirm. I'm really having fun tonight.


Spike's POV

Yeah so the poof shows up here all dark avenger like and thinks he's gonna save the day. Bloody pathetic, I remember when he actually acted like a vampire. So I decide to have a bit of fun with my Xanpet, see if I can get old Angelus to make an appearance. Well fuck me sideways, all I had to do was kiss the boy and then he took over from there. I have to admit, when Xan pinned me to couch and kissed the living hell out of me I totally forgot all about the poof being there, or anyone else for that matter. Probably just as well that we were interrupted when we were, what with Xanders hand going for my zipper and all. Wouldn't have done to shag right there in front of everyone, not with the bit there anyway.

I was surprised when Xander took on Angelus for me, and make no mistake it was Angelus in charge there. I recognized that look, the one that clearly says 'you belong to me boy! and no one else'. Good thing that he's a souled poof now or I'd be in a lot of pain I'll tell you. He wouldn't have gotten me to leave Xander willingly. My pet grabbed him by his hair, his HAIR, and pulled him off me. I think I love that boy, just a little mind you, I'm not that soft, yet.

So Peaches is sitting over there reading that soddin' notebook the watcher's been keeping, I'd like to bloody know what's in there, and he's sqirmin'. He's squirmin' cause my Xanpet messed up his hair and now he's all self conscious about it. So I keep givin' him this look, one that says 'yeah I'm laughing at you ya wanker, what of it?' cause he won't come after me over this. Then he'd have to explain why he's so upset in the first place, and no one would justify him staking me over messed up hair. Oh look, he's done with the book.


Angel's POV

They're not possessed. Spike and Xander are really a couple. OH. MY. GOD. Xander 'I hate vampires' Harris is involved with Spike. Spike aka William the Bloody, Scourge of Europe, the self proclaimed 'Big Bad'. And Spike? Mr. 'happymeals with legs' is involved with a human?, one of Buffy's friends. I don't know which I find more disturbing. Honestly, I don't know whether to laugh or cry at the absurdness of the entire thing.

I hand Rupert back his book and give him a small sad smile. He knows that I get it now, that they actually care for each other. Only on the Hellmouth would this occur. Buffy is looking at me expectantly, she wants me to do something to make this all go away. I can't. There's nothing I can do here, except tell Spike to behave, apologise to Xander for attacking him and tell Buffy to accept this, before she loses Xander's friendship. Then I'm getting back in my car and going home. Besides, I don't like the way Xander's ex has been looking at me all night. I can't wait to get back to LA.


Buffy's POV

Angel left. He pulled me outside after he spoke to Xander and Spike and told me that there was nothing he could do. Xander and Spike really like each other he said, and then he told me to accept it before I lose my friend.

It's just so....icky! I mean Xander has always liked girls, and Spike, well Spike is just...Spike. I mean, it's not the gay thing, Willow's gay and I don't have a problem with that. It's just, Xander's my friend and I don't want him hurt. Why can't he ever find a nice normal HUMAN person to date? It's always demons, or ex-demons. Yeah, Cordelia, I know. But a part of me still thinks she was not completely human, and I don't care if that sounds bitchy. Spike is a vampire, I know about vampires. Loving one only leads to heartache.

I don't want to lose Xander, not over this. So I'm going to take Angels advice. I'm going to accept the fact that my friend is involved with Spike. I'm going to be support-o-girl and when, no if, Spike breaks his heart I'll be there to help him put it back together. It's the only thing I can do. So here I go, this is me being supportive.


Xander's POV

Angel's gone. You know he actually said sorry? Bizare I know. I mean here is this guy, vampire, that totally hates me, not that I don't feel the same way mind you, and he's apologising for attacking me. I should have been nicer about it, I should have said thank you, I should have said anything other than 'your hair looks funny' but then, that wouldn't be me. Besides, I enjoy it so much when Spike laughs, real laughter not the mean sarcastic laughing that he used to do mostly at my expense.

Buffy walked out with Angel when he left. He must have said something to her because when she came back in she was different. She said she was sorry for over reacting and that she would try to be more accepting of my relationship with Spike. I think the pod people took our slayer, cause this sudden transformation is messing with my reality.

Spike and I left after that. I wanted to go home and take him to bed. What happened earlier on Giles sofa was still running through my mind. The fact that I was so lost in the feel of him underneath me, the taste of his mouth, the feel of his skin. I almost fucked him on the sofa in front of everyone. Just thinking about it had me hard and wanting. So yeah, we left.

Spike is asleep beside me. I wore him out, if you can believe that. Fucked him and sucked him until he passed out from it. I'm pretty beat myself but I can't help but stay awake and look at him. He's beautiful you know. I think I'm falling for him. I just hope it doesn't hurt when I land.

Oh fuck. He's rolled into me, wrapped his arm around me, he's got a smile on his face and he's purring. If that isn't the sweetest fucking thing I've ever seen and heard I don't know what is. Forget what I said, I know I'm falling and if it hurts when I land? It will be worth it.

The End

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