Site hosted by Angelfire.com: Build your free website today!

Hi
This Is Me Flopsyfluffytail Your Host On This Website

Thankyou For Joining Me

before you go any further if you dont want to listen to the tune playing, scroll down and there is a box u can choose ure own tune or pause so u got no music at all :)
THE SONG PLAYING SAYS EXACTLY WHAT THIS SITE IS ABOUT.

Let me tell you a little about my life

Firstly I was born and raised in a little burrow called Newcastle under Lyme which is in Staffordshire England

There were 4 of us in the family there was mum, myself (being the oldest) and my 2 sisters

The father of the burrow having made a new burrow somewhere else

We were a happy family even thou we didn’t have much of material things we had what was most important
“LOVE”
Mum raised us on her own and taught us the most important things in life and to respect one another and other’s around us,
Mum worked hard (she had to raising us alone) she took a job child minding other peoples children which she did best
She had her hands full with myself and my 2 sisters and the children she looked after But we were all treated the same, I remember myself and my friend Shane decided to paint Shane’s mums coal house with red paint, LOL we even painted the Hoover red, When mum saw what we had done she grabbed hold of both of us sat us on the draining board in the kitchen and started to scrub us down we were both covered from head to foot in this red paint LOL, Shane managed to escape the onslaught of mums scrubbing and she hid in our coal shed which made it worse cos then she was covered in coal dust too LOL, I think we both got smacked legs off mum and Shane’s mum too when she came home from work but still they were happy days

When we got a little older mum started running a brownie and guide group at the local church this was where mum came into her own, the house was always full of paper, glue, you name it, and it was in the house for some project or other which she was doing, in the summer holidays (which was 6 weeks off school then) mum started a summer activity( I guess Americans would call it summer school),each day she would pack her bag with all sorts of things and head off to the church where she met other mums to make sure the children of all the burrows would have a fun packed day this was every day Monday thru to Friday for the 6 weeks that the children were off school

There was a lot of bad things that happened in my life around the time I turned 11, things that I couldn’t talk about to anyone at the time especially not to my mother it wasn’t until I was much older and wiser that I was able to confide in her but then it didn’t matter much anyway because the person responsible was dead

1976--I was older now and I had started working in the local Tile Making Factory the things we did in that factory, today would be frowned upon and the factory probably closed down for health and safety reasons lol,
Around this time I met my future husband he was older than me and he had 2 children from his previous marriage, I was 16 yrs old at this time, but we got engaged and eventually at the age of 17yrs I got married and was a mum too 2 lovely boys, they called me mum from the beginning, within 12 months of being married I gave birth to a boy so at 18 yrs old I was mum to 3 boys, I never thought about my age, I loved all 3 of my children and yes I thought of them all as my own, we didn’t have much and we did struggle but we always made sure that the children never went without

Christmas was the best time we would all go to mum’s house for lunch and it was always fun with plenty of laughter.
A few years later we found it hard, hubby bunny was out of work, but still we kept going and the children didn’t miss out at birthdays and Christmas, even if they couldn’t have expensive presents they had lots of small presents to make up and I don’t think they suffered any for it
Eventually we were able to move to a bigger burrow, the 2 eldest boys were now working and the youngest was still at school, I got a job too which I really loved and we were beginning to get back on our feet again no more scrimping to buy second hand furniture,
I was offered the chance of running my own business and with the help of hubby bunny and a win on Spot the Ball I achieved it
Things looked really good we had been on our first holiday we had never had a holiday before
Before long we were going on holiday abroad 3-4 times a year, I think that is when all the problems started, you see we always went on All Inclusive holidays where your drinks are free all day everyday, I don’t drink the only strong drink I ever had was coffee LOL but hubby bunny would drink as soon as the bar opened and wouldn’t stop until it was time to go to bed, and it didn’t stop there he used to bring back litre bottles of whisky not 1 but about 8 bottles at least

So came about when he was drinking at home he would come home from work he would have maybe 4 cans of beer then he would start on the whisky or he would have white rum and cola, every night this was, then he would flake out on the settee and that is where id leave him when I went to bed, id tried talking to him but it fell of deaf ears, by this time the 2 eldest sons had left home and were either married or living with there girlfriend and I had got myself a grandson awwwww he was a lovely baby I loved him to bits, but even then becoming a grandpa didn’t stop the drinking, so I used to spend my time upstairs on the computer with the youngest son he showed me how to use a computer and how to start on the internet,

The first person I spoke to on the internet was a girl in Australia Anne she was name (by this time my mum had been diagnosed with total body cancer) and Anne’s dad had died from the same thing a few months earlier, we shared our grief together and when mum did die Anne was there when I logged on to help me grieve,
and so it went on the drinking and me going upstairs to log on to speak to faceless people but people who would listen if u had a problem or to make u laugh when you were feeling down,

But then came the day when a harmless bit of fun in a chat room turned into a full scale war, you see I had started chatting to a couple who lived about 100 miles away from me I spoke to both of them he more than her because she was working to help keep him who was too lazy to go out to work, we swapped phone numbers and I used to phone her and she used to phone me she used to confide in me about his drinking and not going to work and I told her about hubby bunny and his drinking, she thought she was pregnant and she didn’t no what to do, she didn’t want to bring a child up in that environment, anyway it turned out she wasn’t,(that was 4 years ago) (since then her hubby got a steady job cut down on his drinking and they did have a lovely baby and i was invited down to where they live to be one of the childs god parent at the christening) (funny when i was supposed to have had an affair with this guy hahahahahha) anyway my hubby bunny had got hold of the telephone bill and put 2+2 together and came up with 2+2 make an affair, because there number was on the bill, no matter how much I denied it he believed it.
I suppose most of it was my fault, i had what u "could" call a cyber conversation with this guy a fantasy conversation ( not about sex) nothing like that, but i guess if u did read what was said u would think it was, i even told his wife about it and copied what was said to her in chat she laffed and said yup it was typical of him, but my hubby got hold of a transcript of this conversation so obviously that fueled his belief that i was having an affair or affairs, but hell fire I never used to go out the house apart from work,i bought my hubby a flying lesson for his birthday, i wanted to drive him to it myself so i went out one saturday afternoon to find out the way to the flying school i hadnt been back driving long after so many years of not driving so i wanted to get my confidance back, i asked my sons friend who lived nr the area for some directions, yes he gave them to me butttttttttttt i was over heard asking for them so guess what???? yup u guessed it i was getting directions to meet some guy, that was what i was accused of anyway, even thou the following week i drove my hubby to the air field for his flying lesson
Soooo I thought to hell with this so on Saturday afternoons id get in my car and id drive,(ALONE) id drive anywhere places id never been to in my life b4,places near to my home town which id never visited before, but of course I was seeing another fella in hubby bunny’s eyes, according to hubby bunny I was having an affair with every guy I spoke to on the internet and that I was sleeping with most hahahahahaha chance would have been a fine thing,
I let this go on for quiet a while I told him the problem was his drinking and nothing else and no one else was involved only his bottle
He believed me when i told him i wasnt and hadnt had an affair untill he had a drink then he said that i was
We went on holiday that Christmas to try and patch things up and I will say this for him he didn’t drink as much but he didn’t cut it out like he promised I still went to bed alone while he had passed out cold

My sister inlaw Hubby Bunnys Brothers wife was fueling things she told hubby that i was seeing all these men
how she figured that out beats me, she is a evil person always has been
i think it was jealosy on her part she had done and said things against other members of the family before
if id have done what she has done to people in the past i couldnt have lived with myself
but because hubby didnt want to admit that it was the drink involved he started to believe her evil lies

I soon realised that even thou I still loved him I couldn’t stay and watch the drink take a hold of his life and I didn’t want the drink to destroy me too
so I asked him for a divorce at first he fought me he didn’t want me to leave but for my sanity I had to get out while I could
You can live with someone and still feel alone and lonely,
There comes a time when even thou u love that person with all ure heart, u just have to let go because there is something more important in that persons life than you, in my case it was his drink
I told him i had fallen out of love with him ( that was a lie)so when the divorce papers came thru i found it sooo hard to fill them in i had been with this man for 24 years majority of them happy years
so i let him fill them in,eventually i left it was the hardest thing i have ever done walking out of the family home and leaving him and the memorys behind me, but i couldnt stay it would have destroyed me
I went to stay in a hotel in a holiday resort,
and my best friend let me stay with her and her family untill i got my own house sorted out
A few weeks later I found out HE had been seeing another woman behind MY back all the time we were "supposed" to be sorting things out that hurt it hurt that he could think id do something like that and it hurt that HE DID
Especially when all the times he had stopped out he said he was staying at his mates house and i believed him and all the time he was sleeping at this woman's house
Anyway the up shot of it all we got divorced my children blamed me for everything well that was how it seemed to me I shielded them from things that went on at home perhaps I shouldn’t have done

Eventually things got to much for me
And i had a nervous breakdown
I lost my business and I lost my sanity if I had any to begin with LOL
i just wanted to die in those first days of my breakdown
the only thing that kept me going was the thought of not seeing my 2 beutifull grandchildren again
*BUT * I still had my family and I still had my good friends that I had made on the internet, my family was here in the flesh to help me over those really bad times and my internet family were there at night for me to help keep me sane cos without all of them I know I wouldn’t have got better as well as I did,

Depression sneeks upon you because it is easy to just ignore at first. Shame comes upon you and you hide even more. Fighting it is hard very hard but you have to do it for your own sake. Climbing out of depression is tough but it is possible. The Knowledge that you have a loving family helps and close friends who can understand can also help.
I know its long and it will be boring to some people hell most people but I did this for me to help me
At the end of this there r a few verses to some special people and they all know who they r when they read them but I will put there names by each anyway,

Some people say the internet is a dangerous place to be and that it breaks relationships up, I know my ex hubby thought this
But it wasn’t the internet that spilt us up it was the drink, in my mind too much drink is more evil than the internet, I’m not saying there isn’t bad people on the internet because you do read about them in the newspapers, but if it wasn’t for my friends that I’ve made online I don’t think that I would be here today they have helped me nearly as much as my family have

they r my extended family

Since writing this web page my Daughter in law has read it she told me she always thought that hubby drank becuase i went on the net
No the reason i went on the net was because of his drinking,
he started drinking longggggg before i started going on the net but before i used to sit there watch him drink then wait untill he was asleep before i went to bed
I dont know if that was what hubby told my children but it couldnt be more wrong
and im glad i was able to put my side of the story at long last,

There are a few people who probebly wont believe the events leading up to my marrige breakdown,probebley because they dont want to believe it, but i have got a clear consious the only thing i was ever guilty of was letting people believe the bad things said about me because it was my way of getting out of a bad situation,
and i still let people believe it, i used to think i didnt care what people said about me i knew the truth and that was what mattered, it wasnt untill my therapist told me that perhaps because i did let people believe those things that was why i was feeling so bad in myself she advised me to sit and talk with those people that i loved and explain it all to them how id explained it to her, but i couldnt hence this web site,i made it not only to help me but also so i could show my loved ones and then they would finally understand the truth

Im so sorry in my Heart that i hurt my family and that i hurt my hubby but i did wat i thought was the best thing for me at the time.

For me, from the beginning, there was the light.
In my days of darkness, it was there.
It showed me places I could go, things I could do.
It grew strong and bright.
I found when I was cold, it was there to warm me.
When I was wet, it could dry me.
I could play in it. I could sleep in it. I was at peace in it.
But it grew still stronger and brighter.
Where there had been warmth from the light,
there now came heat and flames instead.
When I tried to touch it, the flame now would burn.
The fire spread and grew. It could not only burn me, it could engulf me.
It could devour and destroy anything I had to give it, and leave nothing but ashes.
It raged out of control, leaving destruction in its wake.
And when it finished burning, there was nothing left.
There was nothing left but the darkness.

Two Wolves
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.
He said, "My son, the battle is between two "wolves" inside us all.
One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?"
The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."
I Love this verse it is so meaningfull

MY MUM
Mum you were always my best friend.
You were always the one to go to with any problem big or small.
You lifted my spirits with just your smile.
I think of you often and wish I could feast my eyes on your wonderful face and the eyes that always said I love you and I'm so proud to be your Mum.
Well Mum I am and always be proud that God chose you to be my Mum.
It has been almost 7 years since God called you home.
I love you and miss you more each day.
I look forward to being with you again someday.
Mum thank you for your love and for just being you.
I still find myself going to the phone just to give you a call and then I stop and think that Heaven does not have a telephone.
I see you in every flower in bloom, in the breezes that blow and in every sunshine.
You're not here with me anymore but I carry you in my heart forever and will always love you with ALL my heart
. Love you forever,
Your Daughter
Lesley

God saw you getting tired,
When a cure was not to be.
So He wrapped his arms around you,
and whispered, "Come to me".
You didn't deserve what you went through,
So He gave you rest.
God's garden must be beautiful,
He only takes the best
And when I saw you sleeping,
So peaceful and free from pain
I could not wish you back
To suffer that again.

Cancer Research UK
About the charity:
Cancer Research UK aims to conquer cancer through world-class research.
It is the UK's leading cancer charity, with a dedicated team of 3,000 scientists and an annual scientific spend of around £213 million.
Its funds are raised almost entirely through voluntary donations
Click on the Ribbon To Take You To The Cancer Research Site

For My Boys

A Mum tries to provide her Child with insight into the important things in life in order to make his life as happy and fulfilling as possible.
A Mum tries to teach her Child to be good, always helpful to other people, to be fair, always treating others equally ...
to have a positive attitude at all times,
to always make things right when they are wrong,
to know himself very well,
to know what his talents are,
to set goals for himself,
to not be afraid of working too hard to reach his goals.

A Mum tries to teach her Child ...
to have many interests to pursue,
to laugh and have fun every day,
to appreciate the beauty of nature,
to enter into friendships with good people,
to honor their friendships and always be a true friend,
to appreciate the importance of the family, and
to particularly respect and love our elder members,
to use his intelligence at all times,
to listen to his emotions,
to adhere to his values.
A Mum tries to teach her Child ...
to not be afraid,
to stick to his beliefs,
to not follow the majority when the majority is wrong,
to carefully plan a life for himself,
to vigorously follow his chosen path,
to enter into a relationship with someone worthy of himself,
to love this person unconditionally with his body and mind,
to share all that he has learned in life with this person.
If I have provided you with an insight into most of these things, then I have succeeded as your Mum in what I hoped to accomplish in raising you.
If many of these things slipped by while we were all so busy, I have a feeling that you know them anyway.
One thing I am sure of, though ...
I have taught you to be proud of the fact that you are a very special person being equal to all men and women and I have loved you every second of your life.
I have supported you at all times and as your Mum, as a person, and as a friend, I will always continue to cherish and love everything about you My boys Robert Scott Timothy ...
Mum

My Sisters Loz and Tracey
We have laughed together, cried together,
Worried, joked and sighed together.
While learning lifes great lessons
In a simple, natural way.
We have fought as bitter rivals,
First with fists and then with words.
We have learned that love means doing,
And that fighting is absurd.
As friends we pull together,
Without thought and without doubt.
We just know that in a crisis
We must help each other out.
I don’t say it very often
but you mean so much to me.
but my 2 Sisters, you are special
because you are my family!"

My Grandaughter
A grandaughter is like a special book
for a person of some age
Like reading a beautiful story
Each time we turn the page
There is mystery and excitement
As the story begins to unfold
Sometimes laughter, sometimes tears
Then joy as the story is told
You bring back special memorys
Times i lovingly recall
All the happy times we had
When your father was very small
But above all this there is peace
And a deep contentment within
Knowing that part of me
Will go on without end
I just want to let you know
How much you mean to me
I know i am truley blessed
With a special family

Little Grandson
"There is nothing like a grandchild
To turn life upside down.
You are a precious little person
And a joy to have around.
Your lovely childish ways
Bring back so many memories
Of playing school, of skipping,
Building camps and climbing trees
. Of leaping like a kitten,
Not a twinge, a thought, a care.
So innocent and happy,
Full of spirit, full of dare.
I crow about your talents
And your personality,
Because, grandson, you are lovely
I love you Ryan
And you mean the world to me."

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
This is for my friend lindy who has made me laugh even when I have sat here crying where no one can see or hear my cry
A True Friend
There’s a wonderful comfort in having a friend And will to the end;
Who knows that the face that you show to mankind
Is swagger and bluster
A mask by design;
Who knows things about you no other may share,
Who’ll stand and defend you Any time, anywhere.
This friend knows your triumphs and knows all your blame
And accepts them as part of You, treats them the same;
And, chooses instead to look over your error
To the something within you That’s kinder and fairer.
And, that’s just what you are, a quiet, true friend I trust you, and love you,
And hope I can lend
Back a portion of kindness and trust when you need,
And be just what you are:
A true friend indeed.

The next 2 are for my adopted sister who is my best friend
For My Best Friend Karen

This is for you, my best friend,
the one person i can tell my soul too
Who can relate to me like no other
Who I can laugh with to no extents,
Who I can cry too when times are tough,
Who can help me with the problems of my life
. Never have you turned your back on me
Or told me I wasnt good enough
Or let me down
I don't think you know what that means to me
You have went through so much pain and you still have time For me.
And I love you for listening even when inside YOU were dying
And I look up too you because you are strong, and caring and beautiful.
Even though you don't think you are.
And I hope you know that I am always here
To listen to you laugh and cry and help
In all the ways that i can
And I will try to be at least half the friend you are To me.
I hope you know I would not be the person I am today, with out you.
I'll be there for you till the day of my death, best friends forever til my very last breath
My best friend.

Love You m8y

For Karen and loz
When no one was there for me
And I thought that no one cared
When the whole world walked out on me
And I thought I was alone
You were there
When the one I cared about the most
Could care less about me
When the one I gave my heart to
Threw it in my face
You were there
When the person I trusted
Betrayed me
When the person I shared a lot of memories with
Can't even remember my birthday
You were there
When all I needed was a friend
To listen to me whine
When all I needed was someone
To catch my tears
You were there
When my heart hurt so bad
I couldn't even breath
When I just wanted to crawl up and die
You were there
When I started to cry
After hearing that sad song
When thew tears just wouldn't
Stop falling down
You were there
So you see I will be there until the end
This is a promise I can make
If you ever need me
Just give me a call
I will be there just as you were there for me

For My online friends and u all know who u r
esp ang
Online Friendship...
The true friends who we meet online
are a very special kind
They pierce your shields and see within
the corners of your mind
They're always there when you're in need with their power to discern
They feel your pain...........they offer hope and genuine concern
We bare our souls, expose our hearts and show our inner fears
and then before you know it the keyboard's stained with tears
And if we could see them through that screen then no one could deny
that to be a TRUE online friend they too must surely cry.
I joined a Dominoes league while i was ill i started to host on there the people all helped me in there way even thou they didnt know i was ill it helped save my sanity hosting all day on that site so Thankyou to my Rankmonster Friends

And last but not least
The Prince of Darkness
Thankyou For Getting Me Thru My Dark Days
Thankyou for just being There

Below is a music box if u dont want to listen to the song playing on the site u can pick one from the list
As you will see i am Eclectic in my taste of music
I like all kinds of music ...probably not house music thou lol
Hope You enjoy and that you find something that you will like just go down the list and click on the title and it will play
There are 2 certain songs on there that have special meaning 1 was always played by a special person in my life who is no longer with me and the other song used to do his head in hahaha but i put them on just in case one day he stumbles across my site and if he does and he scrolls thru he will know which ones i mean

A Tear in the Ocean

I dropped a tear in the ocean

when they find it thats wen ill stop loving you

Update on my Website Jan 2006
At the begining of this web page i mentioned that the father of my family had made a new burrow else where
Myself and my 2 sisters havent really heard off him in the 37 years that he has been gone,he popped up now and again but not very often,the last time he showed up was at my mothers funeral which i wasnt too happy about him being there
Well i had a visit off his sister ( my aunt) to tell me he has got a progressive brain tumour and they dont think he will live for very long
I went to see him at the hospital and it was like looking at a stranger but a stranger i felt sorry for, for having this evil disese,i also felt sad that this man who fathered me didnt know me or about my life and now will never know me or my children or there children
Below is a poem just for him
A Father but Not A Dad
I'm sorry you missed out when I went to school for the 1st time,
And you didn't have me tell you that you were all mine,
Sorry you weren't the one I saw when I came out of my play,
Or the one I'd run to when I had a bad day,
I'm sorry you didn't hear me sing, you'd have been so proud,
And you weren't there to lift me up on a cloud,
Sorry you weren't there to tell me there's nothing to fear,
Sorry you weren't there to save me from the man that smelled of beer,
(wen i was 11)

But then again you should have been here,

I'm sorry you weren't the one who carried me on his back,
Or the one who held me tight when strength is what I lacked,
I'm sorry you weren't the one to hold me when I cried,
Or tell me I did great when I really tried,
I'm sorry you were never there to teach me how to cook,
Or there at night to read me my favorite book,
I'm sorry me as a daughter is what you never had,
You will always be my father, but you will never be my dad.

The songs on this site are for evaluation purposes ONLY and I take NO legal liability for misuse of any of the selections in regard to any and all copyrights which may or not be applied to any selection within the pages. This is also a not-profit site-for Evaluation listening purposes! The sound files contained within these pages are of reduced quality to the original recording because of sampling in wav format which provides small representation of the original work for evaluation purposes. No revenue whatsoever is obtained from the representation of these works. If you like the songs, I STRONGLY recommend you support the artists by buying their Cd's and Tapes
It's hard to say "I love you" and not draw back in tears.
It's hard to know that your not there to help me face my fears.
It's hard to know the phones at reach but I can not hear your voice.
It's hard to see you laughing when I'm crying deep inside.
It's hard to just find feelings and now have to make them hide.
It's hard to live wihtout you when I need you more than words,
To want to scream how much I love you, but hold back and not be heard.
It's hard to go to sleep at night when I can only dream of you.
It's hard to think that you might fall in love with someone new.
It's hard to not start crying when I hear your favorite song.
It's hard to sit and wonder, where did I go wrong?
It's hard to live without you, if I only would have known
I will never love another, I would rather be alone.

I sing myself to sleep,
It's the only way to keep from crying,
And I pray that each day will get better,
So that my heart will keep from dying.
I dream about him every night,
But I only awake to see,
That he is never coming back,
So from my eyes I wipe the debris.
I wake up sometimes,
And find that I have cried in my sleep,
And all that's left of my heart now,
Is a small, broken heap.
So again I sing a song,
To keep my mind away,
But I just can't help to think,
Of what things would be like today.
My heart would be whole,
And my face would be dry,
And the songs that I sing,
Would never make me cry.

Oh yes, I'm the great pretender
Pretending I'm doing well
My need is such , I pretend too much
I'm lonely but no one can tell
Oh yes, I'm the great pretender
Adrift in a world of my own
I play the game but to my real shame
You've left me to dream all alone
Too real is this feeling of make-believe
Too real when I feel what my heart can't conceal
Oh yes, I'm the great pretender
Just laughing and gay like a clown
I seem to be what I'm not you see
I'm wearing my heart like a crown
Too real when i feel what my heart can't conceal
Oh yes, I'm the great pretender
Just laughing and gay like a clown
I seem to be what I'm not you see
I'm wearing my heart like a crown
Pretending that you're...
Pretending that you're still around
Words & Music by Buck Ram
Recorded by The Platters, 1955

Just ask the lonely
When you feel
That you can make it all alone
Remember no one is big enough
To go it all alone

Just ask the lonely
They know the hurting pain
Of losing the love
You can never regain
Just ask the lonely

The young and foolish
Who laugh at love and slowly run away
Confident and sure that fate
Will bring another love their way

But ask the lonely
How vainly a heart can yearn
For losing a love
That will never return
Just ask the lonely
Just ask the lonely
Just ask the lonely

They'll tell you a story of sadness
A story too hard to believe
They'll tell you
The loneliest one is me

Just ask the lonely
Just ask the lonely
Just ask the lonely
Ask me, I'm the loneliest of all

Lying beside you
Here in the dark
Feeling your heartbeat
With mine
Softly you whisper
You're so sincere
How could our love
Be so blind
We sailed on together
We drifted apart
And here you are by my side
(Chorus)
So now I come to you
With open arms
Nothing to hide
Believe what I say
So here I am
With open arms
Hoping you'll see
What your love means to me
Open arms
Living without you
Living alone
This empty house seems so cold
Wanting to hold you
Wanting you near
How much I wanted you home
And now that you've come back
Turned night into day
I need you to stay
(Chorus)
So now I come to you
With open arms
Nothing to hide
Believe what I say
So here I am
With open arms
Hoping you'll see
What your love means to me
Open arms

Lyrics To The Song Playing
Who could ever doubt my love?
Who could ever doubt my love?
I've been falsely accused of being untrue
To him and it's not so
But it's the way he's misjudged me
That really hurts me so
When I've been nothing but good to him
Forsaking all others giving my love to him
Who could ever doubt my love?
A victim of circumstance I have been
But what really hurts is
Instead of believing me,
He believed his friends
When I've been nothing but good to him,
Rearrange my life to please only him
Who could ever doubt my love?
Who could ever doubt my love?
I've been cast aside
Because he believed someone's lies
After I've done the best I could
Still, I've been so misunderstood
After I've been good to him,
Good to him, so good to him
Who could ever doubt my love?
Who could ever doubt my love?

Update on my webpage 1st January 2010

Since i last updated my webpage a few years ago i have had 3 additions to my family.

First i was presented with another Grandson, then i was presented with another Grandaughter, then last year just before Christmas i was presented with another Grandaughter, (im just waiting now for one of my daughter in laws to get pregnant again to even it up hahahaha),i couldnt be more proud of all of my grandchildren they are all soooo beautifull, i just wish my mum was here to see them she would have loved all these great grandchildren.

I started a new job which i hate, dont get me wrong i love the work which i do, its the enviroment i hate i just dont fit in, and i am made to feel that i dont fit in, oh its not something thats said outright its little things that happen, somedays i feel physically sick at the thought of going into the place and i have to make myself walk thru the doors, but what can you do? Nothing there are no jobs around so its pointless looking for another job, a year ago i felt so bad about it i had to start taking my anti depressants again which i really didnt want to do ever again, but i needed something to help me thru the day i felt if i didnt id have another breakdown.But i guess things will eventually work out for the better i hope so anyway because i love the job im doing and id hate to leave it.

Last year September 2009 i finally went to Canada to meet Lindy my life saver who i met here on the internet, it was absolutly fabulous meeting her and her family and the kids calling me "Tante" it was just sooooooo cute i love em all to bits and im so gratefull that i finally met Lindy at last, she has helped me more than she will ever know being here online letting me vent to her, i dont know what id have done without her.

I love yas Lindy my clone hahaha yea we even talk the same and at the same time lol.

Update 02/09/2010
i have come to realise that i have been living in a bubble for the last nine years, the person that i still thought i was in love with doesnt exist did he ever i ask myself,?? he is still on the road to destruction and one of these days something really bad will happen, i dont wish him harm never would i wish that, but he is harming himself with what he is doing ...taking antedeprssants and drinking whisky and beer on top of them not a good combination, the only thing i feel for him is pity, you cant help people who dont want to be helped, and he sure doesnt want help i have tried to talk to him and his family have too but it falls on deaf ears, soo all we can do is sit back and watch him destroy himself, such a damn shame when he could do so much with his life.

January 29th 2011

Well i have finally been Vindicated at last, 10 years ago i told my family and friends about my hubby sleeping with another woman whilst we were trying to make another go of it, only a handfull of people believed me, today the person who he was sleeping with admitted that he had been sleeping with her long before we split up, i cant tell you what a relief it was that the truth was finally out at last, i can finally put my past behind me. And if anyone wants to choose to believe the lies then thats there perogative my concious is clear.

June 8th 2012

Went to Canada again in October of last year I don't understand what happened over there, but Lindy has hardly spoken to me since and she has deleted me off face book and out of her life, we have been friends for years we told each other everything knowing it was kept between myself and her, I don't understand and I don't think I ever will.

August 29th 2015

Lots have happened since my last entry, my son and his wife have presented me with another Granddaughter, I now have Four Granddaughter's and 2 Grandsons and I couldn't be more proud of them, I have suffered a slight stroke which has left me with some memory loss of the present not the past, and I have found a friend I have not seen for 40 years,, he popped up on my face book, and I couldn't be more happy to see him after all this time, he didn't think id remember him but I remember a lot of things from those days, I think he was surprised when I recounted things to him that we did together lol, I went to see him well we have both changed so much he seemed shorter than I remember but then we are both 40 years older hahahaa, but I do remember we had fun 40 years ago, time passes so quickly .
Click on the bunnies to take you to my site of poems

EMAIL: flopsyfluffytails@yahoo.co.uk
Or catch me on Yahoo Messenger under flopsyfluffytails
click on the bunny to sign my guest book