Author: Regency
Title: Standing Still In Tilted Circles
Category: Angst
Pairing: ex-Abbey/Jed
Spoiler/season: The latest and I don't remember the name. It was last weeks' episode.
AN: It's sad, I'm sorry. Blame NemoFic who wrote "The Storm." That really inspired me.
Summary: I refuse to turn and yet I'm standing still in tilted circles.
Feedback: Please.
Archive: Wherever as long as you leave it complete and unchanged.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, but the thought.
~~~~~~~~~~
I'm standing here in the rain, assassins and POTUS be damned. I'm staring up at the sun that refuses to show its face to me after this damned and wasted day. This damned and wasted week. This life.
There was a time when I would come out into the rain and dance in circles with the girls. My girls. Never with Abbey. She's always hated the rain. I've always loved it since I was a child. It was my only refuge from the hell of the middle child which I understand only too well. I would come in soaking wet and dripping on the floor, surely to be punished, but I would bask in those few minutes when I would spin and spin and spin, daring the world to compete with my revolutions, daring it to darken my heaven.
I would always turn and spin, even as I grew older and my spinning slowed or I did it less often and more carefully. Now, I'm out of heart, out of energy, and out of gas. I've spun so much in this life that all I can do is watch as my wife pulls even farther away and realize it's for the best and watch my daughter struggle in her own personal hell and yet never be able to tell her of my own.
Today, my anger at my God and at these tears he and his angels have no right to cry leaves my body leaden and heavy. I couldn't spin if I still had the heart. So, this is how I denounce him, damn him…by standing in the rain that was my heaven and doing nothing more. Simply standing.
I refuse to turn and spin as I would, but the world continues to turn without me on it's tilted, twisted axis. And so my denouncement is made silent by the slow rotation of the Earth. I stand still and stoic in my rebuke. And still the world turns, mockingly. And here I am in the rain…
standing still in tilted circles. And my heaven crashes, assassins and POTUS be damned I'm sure.
