Author: Regency
Title: That Was He, This Is She
Category: Drama/angst/romance
Pairing(s): Jed/Abbey; Jed/?
Spoilers/Season: Season 5 before "Separation of Powers"
Warning: I don't know yet.
Summary: I nearly held you again, but the cold of your eyes on mine so many lonely nights ago stops my turn. And I continue on my way...
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
~~~~~~~~~
The truth of the matter is and always will be that I love you. I'm sorry I left that way and that I kept you away from Zoey. She deserved to see you and you deserved to see her.
I'm back now. I hope you notice or have the time to notice. It seems like your staff is making a fool of you, gumdrop. What's been happening while I was gone?
What's been happening to you? I saw you in Oklahoma, everyone did. You looked half-dead, babe. You put the SS in a tailspin, you must have inconvenienced a thousand people then. That was the man. Where was the president?
No one could have missed those haunted expressions that showed plainly for everyone, including me to see. They place bets as to when you'll go to bed each night. You never do. It's become a sucker's bet.
Someone leaked your list of prescriptions to the press. When did you start taking something for migraines? A year ago! Why am I just now hearing about it? When did you develop post traumatic stress disorder or should I ask what took so long? The clinical depression...I won't ask. But the medication you're recieving for that is only normally prescribed for suicidal patients who need to get through daily life as easily as possible. But that's not you, never you. That must be the president, not the man.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author: Regency
Title: That Was She, This Is He
Category: Drama/angst/romance
Pairing(s): Jed/Abbey; Jed/?
Spoilers/Season: Season 5 before "Separation of Powers"
Warning: I don't know yet.
Summary: I nearly held you again, but the cold of your eyes on mine so many lonely nights ago stops my turn. And I continue on my way...
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
~~~~~~~~~
I almost held onto some hope, some vain, unnatural hope that you could forgive and forget as is our custom, but I knew this time would be different. Your eyes, your body, your stance against me said more than your hurtful words ever would have had to.
I nearly went anyway when you asked me not to go to Manchester with you and Zoey, but I decided not to try my luck. I didn't go. But I nearly did.
You ignored me, rarely let me speak to Zoey unless she picked up the phone herself and you were cold when we did speak. It almost broke me the last time we ended a phone call without saying I love you. Almost, but not quite. Because I was already broken. If it's broken, why not? Let's step on it some more.
On top of that my administration is falling apart. When the hell did my very well-educated and capable staff get replaced with bumbling chimpanzees? I swear, the only person not on my seriously f***ed list is Mrs. Landingham and she's dead, but it's the first time she's ever actually been off the list. There's no more room left.
I nearly lost my cool today and I think I gave another secret away. I'm dying. Yeah, I know you know and you probably don't care at this point, but it's happening faster now. I'm dying inside, but no one knows, but me and the shrink. I don't sleep anymore and I keep getting getting my meds mixed up. The doc says if I'm not careful I may accidently overdose. Now...wouldn't that be a shame.
"What meds," the you in my head asks, as if you'd actually care.
"Oh, you know the ones for my back, my Betaseron backup, my migraine medication, and the ones for my PTSD and clinical depression. Those last ones there shift back and forth."
"When did I get so sick," you ask. Well, only since you've been gone, but that's been a long time to me here.
That one you saw out there...I wanna say that was me, but as much as I wanted to, I couldn't have cared less. All I wanted was you. So FYI: That was the President. This is the man. And I'm dying. Unfortunately for him, we share the same body.
