Two words. B just went ahead right then and there and blew my fuckin mind with two little words.
I knew exactly what she was asking me for. She wanted me to show her how much I wanted her. How much I needed her.
Let me tell ya: She didn’t need to tell me twice.
Before I even realized that I was moving, my lips were on hers and my arms were wrapped tightly around her hot little body. Sexual instinct, if such a thing even exists, took me completely over. As I kissed her hungrily, I began to walk her backwards toward the bed.
I didn’t stop my movement even when I felt the back of her knees hit the bed. I kept pushing until her back was softly laid down on the mattress and my body was resting firmly atop of hers, her legs parted slightly to allow me close full-body contact.
Our bodies were melded intimately together as we kissed hungrily, craving as much contact as possible. Her lips were soft against mine and her mouth was so warm and inviting that for a split second, I felt like I was in heaven.
I grabbed her hands from her sides and raised them above her head, holding them there as I began to rain kisses all over her face and neck.
Something strange was coming over me. I didn’t wanna just fuck her. I didn’t wanna just make love to her; I wanted to worship her. I wanted to kiss and lick every single part of her body and just lavish her with my attention. I wanted her to be perfectly clear that I wanted and needed her; that I completely and totally loved her.
I placed soft and tentative kisses along her lips and chin, moving slowly along her jaw to her ear. Her body was shaking like a leaf and I realized how nervous and emotional she had to have been at that very moment. I brought my lips to her ear and whispered, “Shhh . . . it’s okay, B. You don’t have to do anything, baby. Just relax and let me show you how much I love you.”
I was just about to start kissing her again when I felt a hot drop of water hit my cheek. It wasn’t from me; it was from B.
Slowly, I pulled my head back to glance at the completely tear-stained face of the girl beneath me. She wasn’t shaking cos she was nervous; she was shaking cos she was crying.
I completely froze.
I mean, come on. I’ve never once made someone cry in bed. Cries of pleasure? Sure. I’m Faith. Pleasure is what I do. But tears like this? Tears of pain? It was somethin’ I wasn’t used to seeing.
Then it hit me like a brick.
She wasn’t doing this because she wanted to. She was doing this because she wanted to feel needed; cos she wanted to feel some kinda self-worth in dealing with all of her loss and hurt. As much as I wanted her, I wasn’t gonna be a temporary escape. I’m the Queen of the temporary escape, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned from it, I know that it always leaves ya feelin’ emptier than before.
And I wasn’t gonna be that for her. I just couldn’t do it.
As quickly as I had us on the bed, I was off of her and standing at the foot of the bed, staring down at her trembling figure.
“Faith?” She asked quietly.
Put the dunce cap on me, folks.
I’m such an idiot. I can’t believe I almost fell for that little death-trap. There was no way in hell I was gonna be the convenient and easy way out. There was nothin’ convenient or easy about the whole situation.
“I’m sorry, B. I can’t,” I said shakily.
She looked up at me through her glistening eyelashes and gave me the most honest look that I’ve ever seen.
“I need you,” she replied evenly.
Fuck. Maybe I was wrong about the situation.
Still, I couldn’t just jump her again. Stupid decisions are made in times of emotional duress. I didn’t wanna be the stupid mistake.
Shit, I had been the stupid mistake my entire life. For once in my life, I wanted something different for myself.
I stilled myself and tried to regroup.
“No.” I shook my head. “You don’t need me. You need to feel. Something. Anything. And as much as you think this may be a good idea, you’re gonna fuckin hate yourself in the mornin’. I can’t be a part of that, B. I’m sorry, but I can’t.”
I stood in silence as we just stared at each other for a few minutes. I watched as her tears stopped and a look of realization came across her face. She rose up from her position and sat facing me, her legs on the bed still.
“No. Faith, I need you,” she said, determination in her voice.
I shook my head again.
“I won’t be your temporary escape. I’m sorry.”
She rose up on her knees and made her way to the end of the bed, placing herself just a few feet away from me.
“I feel cold without you. I feel so empty when you’re not at my side.”
Color me confused. I thought it was the boy-toy’s job to make her feel complete. Not me.
I was lost in her gaze for a brief moment, but I shook my head and steeled myself.
“No. Ya just feel lonely and abandoned right now. That’s okay, I totally get it. But you’re really reaching here, B.”
And, yunno what? Then she really was reaching.
She extended her arms across the distance and pulled me closer, her hands resting gently on my hips.
“I’m not reaching, Faith. I’m trying to tell you that I need you. That I want you. That I . . .” she paused, pulling me even closer, “. . . that I love you. That I’ve wanted this for a long time and that at this moment, there is nothing more in the world that I want than to be in your arms, kissing you and feeling your warmth.”
That . . . was beautiful.
For the first time in my life, someone said ‘I love you’ to me and really meant it.
Yunno what? She really did mean it. I could see it in her eyes as I closed the distance between us. I could taste it in her kiss as I crushed my mouth to hers.
And I could feel it in her heart as I lay her down on the bed and pressed my chest up against hers.
“What does this mean for us?” I mumbled against her lips as we kissed and shimmied up the bed.
“I don’t know,” she mumbled back, putting her hands on my face and pushing me back enough to look into my eyes. “I really don’t know. Are you . . . okay with that?”
I blinked as I continued to breathe hard.
“What do you want, B?” I asked her, not really knowin’ where she was going with this.
She chuckled. “I want something normal. But more importantly,” she pulled my face down and gave me a soft and gentle kiss, “right now? There’s nothing in the world that I want more than this.”
Should I have taken that little revelation as a sign to stop? Probably. But she was looking at me with such emotion and such love . . . and I just couldn’t hold back any more.
In a flash I was kissing her again, trying to convey every emotion and feeling I was having into that very kiss. I needed her to know that I loved her and words weren’t enough at that point.
I needed to show her.
I ran my thumbs under the hem of her shirt as we kissed, tugging gently so that she knew I wanted it off her. She raised her back slightly off the bed, leaving me just enough room to slide the shirt up and over her head. It left her hair looking kinda messy and wild; it matched the untamed look that she was wearing on her face.
Instead of laying back down, she arched upwards even more so, pushing her stomach and chest against mine.
Before I could make a snarky comment about her eagerness, she was pulling me down by my sides so that we were resting against each other again.
“I need to feel you against me,” she breathed out, her mouth instantly seeking mine out again.
Now, remember a while back I told you about the Slayer connection and the warm tingles and about how it was even more intense when we were touching?
Well, take that and triple it in the position we were in. No, that’s not even a good enough way to describe it. Try ‘intense times ten’. My entire body was humming from the contact I was having with her.
Now, see, a feeling like that can’t be ignored or dismissed. It’s almost as if fate was tryin to tell us that THIS was exactly how we were supposed to end up. Together. Lovin each other and being as close as possible. It felt so right . . . how could I see or feel any wrong in what we were doing?
I pulled my mouth away from hers so that I could kiss down her body. I needed more . . . I wanted to be touching her, tasting her skin, just breathing her in.
I kissed down her neck, down her chest, stopping at the valley between her breasts. Receiving no stop signs, I unhooked the front clasp to her bra and pushed it away down her sides before leaning in and circling one of her hard nipples with my tongue. I licked and nibbled it a little before opening my mouth and taking more of the flesh into my mouth, suckling gently as she writhed beneath me.
I repeated the same gesture on her other nipple before I started to slide further down her body, dippin’ my tongue in her belly button before moving my fingers to unbutton her jeans.
Before I had the chance to pull her pants from her body, I felt myself being pulled back up so that we were face to face. She pulled me down and started to suck on my bottom lip before thrusting her tongue into my mouth.
I couldn’t get over how every part of her tasted like vanilla and honey. Her lips, her tongue, her skin. There was only one other part of her that I wanted to taste, and I was willing to bet that it tasted just as sweet as the rest of her.
I stopped sucking on her tongue long enough to groan out a few words.
“B . . . I wanna taste you.”
I didn’t even recognize my own voice. It was so deep and throaty and just dripping with desire.
She pulled back and looked at me, my face in her hands. It looked like she was studying me or was searching for somethin’ on my face. I gave her a small smile for reassurance. I wanted her to know that I was there with her and that I really did need this as much as she did.
A smile appeared on her face as she ran her thumbs over my dimples and then over my lips.
“I want you up here . . . with me. Can you do that . . . for me?” She asked almost shyly.
She really is fuckin adorable. She can go from vixen to shy-girl in the matter of seconds. Pretty fuckin hard for me to say no to a question like that, don’t ya think?
I didn’t answer her with words. Instead, I dipped my head down and caught her lips in the softest kiss that I could ever imagine. She kept her hands on my face, caressing my cheeks with her thumbs as she relaxed into the kiss.
Slowly, I ran my right hand down the side of her body, stopping to tickle and caress every inch along the way.
When I finally reached the already undone button of her jeans, I pulled back from the kiss so that I could look into her eyes. I don’t think that I ever felt so much love in my life than I was feelin’ for her right then and there.
As if she was reading my mind, she raised her hips up just a fraction, a silent sign for my hand to continue its descent.
I couldn’t help the groan that escaped me as I slid my hand into her damp panties and felt the warmth beneath them as I cupped my hand over her slick sex. Now, I’d been with a couple different girls before B came along, and I don’t ever remember such heat coming from them. Needless to say, it was wicked hot.
I made sure to keep my eyes on B’s face as I wriggled my fingers around her wet folds, gettin’ used to the fuckin fantastic feeling of having her juices all over my fingers. Her breath hitched in her throat and she shuddered as I collected the moisture with my fingers and brought them up to her swollen clit, teasingly rubbing it ever so gently.
After about a minute or so of soft-rubbing, she finally got frustrated enough to ask for more.
“Harder, Faith . . . please.”
You better believe that I complied. Not only did I increase the pressure on her clit, but I also sped up my movement on it. She was so fuckin wet, I could hear my fingers slidin’ around, making all sorts of nasty little sounds.
It was so fuckin hot.
When I heard her breathing pick up, I knew that I had to slow down the momentum or she’d come too soon. I wanted it to last for her; I wanted it to be memorable as well as pleasurable.
Call me old-fashioned that way.
I removed my fingers from her clit and lowered them to her dripping channel, teasing over it with my juice-coated fingertips.
“Faith . . . please,” she pleaded. I knew what she wanted; I just wanted to hear her say it.
I mean, come on. She’s a fuckin big girl. If she knows what she wants, she should learn how to ask for it.
I continued the teasing motion with my fingers as I began to nibble and suck on her neck, her warm breath tickling the side of my face.
“Please . . . inside.” I lifted my head up and looked her in the eyes, givin’ her one last chance to back out. Her eyes pleaded with me as she said, “I want . . . n-need you inside of me. Please, Faith . . . please make me come, baby.”
Those seven words, ‘Please Faith, please make me come, baby’; those had to be the sexiest words I ever heard come out of her mouth. The only thing that would got me hotter woulda been, ‘put your mouth on my hot pussy’, but I could only expect so much from her on our first time.
Yeah, I was already planning the next time . . . and the time after that . . . in fact, I think I’ve had us booked up for the next decade or so.
Besides . . . I had more plans for later that night. I was gonna taste Buffy no matter what. I was driven. Anyhow, I put those thoughts to the back of my mind as I focused on the task at hand.
I ran my fingers through her silky folds a few more times, makin sure that they were wet enough so I wouldn’t hurt her. I knew that she had only ever had sex with Angel and I didn’t want this to be a painful experience for her.
Feeling ready, I lowered my lips to B’s as I slowly entered her hot pussy with two fingers. She groaned into my mouth and I stilled my hand, lettin’ her adjust to me being inside of her.
That still fuckin floors me when I think about it. There I was, dark Faith, a big nothing, with my fingers buried in the tight little pussy of Buffy-fuckin-Summers. I coulda died right then and there and have been happy, cos I woulda knew what heaven had felt like, even if it had only been for those few seconds.
When I felt her hips slowly start to rock against my hand, I knew that she was ready for me to continue. The movement of my hand was kinda restricted cos she still had her jeans on, but I guess that it just made the whole thing that much more intimate. My palm was pushed up pretty hard against her clit and I felt her inner muscles start to clench around my fingers almost as soon as I started to move them.
I picked up the pace and started to push into her more deeply, lovin’ the way that she felt around my fingers. I was literally holding her in the palm of my hands, and she gave that to me willingly. It was kinda beautiful.
Her breathing became really rough as I thrust my fingers faster into her. It became clear to me then that no matter what I tried to do to stop it or slow it down, she was on the brink of coming.
I gave her one last deep kiss before pulling back just enough to watch her face. Her lips were parted and kinda swollen from me kissin her. Her eyes would be open for a second here and there, but she kept scrunching them shut every time that she’d let out a moan. Her walls started to clench even tighter around my fingers and I knew that she was starting to come.
“Buffy . . . open your eyes.” I said, and she did.
Her big green eyes were staring up into mine and I could see so many emotions running behind ‘em. I knew that she could probably see the emotion in mine too but I wanted to make sure that she was certain of it.
I placed my knee between her legs and pressed it into the back of my hand, makin’ me drive my fingers that much deeper into her.
“I love you, B.” I whispered as I gazed into her eyes, curling my fingers so that I hit her g-spot.
Her body arched up into mine as she came, callin’ out my name over and over as small jolts ran outta her body and into mine. Her juices covered my hand but I made no effort to move it. Instead, I kept my fingers buried deep inside of her, moving them really gently so that she could ride out her orgasm for as long as possible.
She kept her eyes focused on mine the whole time. I could see her tryin’ as hard as she could to keep them from slamming shut as each wave of pleasure rolled over her.
The corners of my mouth cracked up into the tiniest of smiles as I leaned in and kissed her gently, letting my tongue softly caress hers as she wound her hands in my hair.
I started moving my hand just a little bit more, tryin to tease her a little bit. I never thought that she’d come again so soon, but two minutes later, her walls were clenching around me and she was gasping into my mouth.
It was the single sexiest moment of my entire fuckin life: me kissin her softly as I slowly fucked her again, her gasping into my mouth as she writhed beneath me.
Yeah. Like I said. Pretty fuckin sexy.
After she came for the second time, I finally pulled my hand out of her panties. I was so fuckin tempted to lick my fingers clean . . . but I wanted my first time tasting her to be right from the source. I couldn’t wait to get her thighs wrapped around my head as I fucked her with my tongue . . .
. . . but all of that had to wait cos at that moment, B was closing her eyes to get some rest, holdin me tight against her the whole time.
And yunno what?
I didn’t even care that I wasn’t gettin’ any in return. Fucked up, right? I don’t know exactly what it was, but I was completely happy just having her let me get close like that. Close enough to make love to her, and close enough to hold her ‘til she fell asleep afterwards.
That night, I went to sleep with Buffy on my mind, in my heart . . . and on my fingers.
Sometimes being me wasn’t so bad after all.
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