We’re gonna fast-forward a bit again to get to the good stuff, but I’ll fill ya in on some of the smaller details first.
First, William the Bloody-Pain-in-My-Ass made a quick detour through SunnyD and caused a bit of havoc. Took Red and Xander hostage and tried to get her to do a little love mojo for him.
But as always happens here in Sunnyhell, things got kinda wacky. Turns out that Red and Xander were havin’ some kind of fling. Bein’ held hostage musta turned them on or something’ cos they started makin’ out in the middle of it all. Not that I’m against makin’ out or steamy little flings, but I am against gettin’ caught, and that’s what happened.
Queen C and Dog-boy came to the rescue and walked in on the middle of the peep show. C tried to run, but she got caught up in the dilapidated warehouse and got skewered by an iron rod.
Needless to say, she kicked Xander to the curb at her first chance. Red and Dog-boy stayed together . . . but it was rocky.
Here’s the funny part. After Queen C was all healed on the outside, she was still pretty banged up on the inside. I found her drinkin’ solo at the Bronze one night and decided to join her. I have to say . . . drunk Cordy was a fun Cordy.
We kinda bonded. She told me about her pain over Xander and yunno what? I let the cat outta the bag and I fuckin told her about what I was feelin’ for B.
What’s that old saying? Something about ‘when alcohol goes in, the truth comes out’. Guess there’s a little bit of truth behind that little gem.
I musta been really hammered to get to that point. Either that, or just really desperate for someone to talk to about it. And d’ya know what her response was?
She said that she wasn’t blind and that she could see it from a mile away. That kinda took me by surprise cos I never really thought that I let my emotions show about anything, but I guess that she’s just Miss Perceptive.
So anyhow, C and I had a kind of hidden understanding after that night. I knew she was still hurtin’ about Xander no matter what front she was wearin’, and she knew that I had feelings for B no matter how much I tried to hide them or deny them. But we never talked about it again.
Second, Christmas came and went pretty quickly. Angel got haunted by the First, B ran out to save him, blah blah blah. Someone shoulda bought them a balcony, they were so fuckin tragic. But that wasn’t the important part. The important part was when B invited me over to her house to spend the holiday with her and Mrs. S.
Yep. I got a personal invite. Angel didn’t, but I did. Me. Faith.
I even did a little happy dance.
Anyhow, I went to this little antique store in town to find some kind of gift for B. I ended up buying her a small pewter locket in the shape of a heart and a chain to go with it.
Cheesy, I know. Cliché? Yeah, that too.
But I altered it up a little to make it more personal. I snuck into the metal shop at the high school and welded on a piece of metal so that it looked like a stake was goin’ through the heart. I put a picture of me and B inside of it . . . it was from one of those corny $ 4.00 passport photo booths outside of the post office. We were both makin’ crazy faces in the picture, lookin’ cute and happy at the same time.
I kinda wanted her to remember that moment in the photo booth forever.
Come Christmas day, I didn’t think I was gonna be able to give it to her cos almost right after I got to her house, she took off to go save Angel.
I was kinda bitter at first cos she ran out on me for the vampire, but the night didn’t turn out so bad. I ate dinner with Joyce and then we just sat in front of the fireplace for a while and watched TV. It was nice not spendin’ another holiday alone.
When it started snowin’, Joyce decided that it was too late and too cold for me to walk back to my motel. I was about to put up a fight, but she steered me up the stairs and into B’s room, tellin’ me to sleep there ‘til B got home. She gave me a hug before she left the room, and yunno what? Right then, I felt like I was ‘home’.
Anyhow, I kicked off my boots and laid on top of the blankets and before I knew it, I was out like a light. Yunno . . . turkey makes you tired. Tryptophan, right? Yeah, that’s my excuse.
It had nothin’ to do with the fact that I was layin’ in B’s bed, completely surrounded by her soft scent and her stuff.
Nope, nothin’ to do with that at all.
So just after dawn, B came creepin’ back into the house and up to her room. I think she was kinda surprised to see me there at first, but if it bothered her, she certainly didn’t let it show. I woke up only when I felt her rollin’ me over, tryin to put the blankets over me.
She tried to get me to go back to sleep, but I still wanted to give my gift to her. I hopped outta bed and grabbed my leather jacket from the floor. I reached in and grabbed the small box and then hopped back onto the bed excitedly and handed the box back to B.
I love gettin’ presents, but I love givin’ them even more. People don’t expect it from me, so they act all cute and surprised when I give ‘em somethin’. Just like B was doin’ at that point.
So B opened the box and I swear, I saw tears in her eyes. She removed the necklace and locket from the box and proceeded to open the locket. A huge smile sprang up on her face when she saw the picture on the one side and the little inscription on the other side: The Chosen Two.
I was kinda shocked when she asked me to help take off the cross necklace Angel gave her and had me put on the necklace I got her instead. Once again . . . happy dance. Only, internally this time. She gave me a big bear-hug, and that was gift enough for me.
But the gift givin’ wasn’t done yet. She reached under her bed and pulled out what looked like a clothing gift box. I tore right into it as soon as she handed it to me, actin’ just like a little kid. When I opened the box, I found that it was filled with a whole mess of shit that I liked.
Comic books, Combos, Cherry Twizzlers, Ring Pops, a Nine Inch Nails and a Rob Zombie CD, and the grand finale: The Goonies video tape. I love that movie! It really made me happy that she remembered all of the stuff that I loved.
Then it was my turn to give her a big hug. I pulled her close to me and held her there for a few minutes, big goofy smiles on both of our faces.
“Thanks B . . . this was probably my best Christmas ever.” I admitted to her.
Who is this soppy Faith, and what happened to the real Faith? Yeah, that’s what I kept askin’ myself.
“No, thank you, Faith. For being there for me when I needed a shoulder to cry on, and for just being here now.”
And then it happened. I certainly didn’t mean for it to happen, but it did.
I leaned forward and planted a kiss on her.
It was just a quick kiss, perfectly innocent and chaste. But still . . . I probably shouldn’t have done it. I pulled back from her and my eyes musta been huge due to the realization of what I had just done.
I musta looked like I was gonna bolt cos I suddenly felt B’s hand on mine, stoppin’ me from jumpin’ out the window.
“Come on . . . let’s go to bed. I’m kinda tired, and we can sort through your goodies in the morning.” She said sincerely before standing up and pullin’ back the blankets on the bed, holdin’ them up for me to hop under.
You better believe that I did.
I got my Christmas wish that year. I went to sleep snuggled up against B and holdin’ her hand, and I woke up the same way later that morning.
Thank you Santa-fuckin-Claus! You finally came through, you pudgy bastard!
Third, B survived the Cruciamentum. I never even heard of the fuckin thing ‘til after it was over, but you can bet that if I had, I woulda stopped it.
G-man had sent me on a bogus mission on the outskirts of town to keep me from interfering, so I wasn’t even around ‘til the next day.
They took B’s strength away and locked her up with some bad-ass vamp to see how ‘constructive’ she could be when left powerless. She beat the vamp, but it hurt her relationship with G-man and it killed her relationship with the Watcher’s Council.
Yeah, suddenly I’m the good Slayer. Go figure.
But I told ‘em straight out that if they were gonna try to fuck with me in any way, shape or form, I’d kick their asses and take out their whole establishment.
Needless to say, the Cruciamentum is now a thing of the past, and needless to say, I was there to pick up the pieces when B fell apart cos she felt betrayed by G-man.
Fourth . . . this is the part where I kinda fucked up.
Y’see, since I had gotten closer to B, I’d been holdin’ back on takin care of my hornies.
Wait. Let me rephrase that.
I stopped seekin’ out random guys and girls to scratch my itches. But I was still takin care of my hornies. There’s no way you can just let something like that go without burstin’ after a while.
Somethin’ about bringin’ random guys or girls back to my hotel felt wrong . . . like I was betrayin’ B or something. She wasn’t my girlfriend or anything and I realized that, but it still felt wrong. Not countin’ the sex part (or lack thereof), our relationship was everything that I coulda ever even hoped for. I didn’t wanna lie to myself and try to pretend that I could be happy with anyone else.
But, we all know that self-restraint ain’t my biggest virtue. Never was. I’m kinda a ‘fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants’ kinda girl, and I usually just take what I want.
So this one night, I was out patrollin’ when this big bad momma demon popped up outta nowhere. She got the upper-hand somehow and gave me a bit of a whoppin’ and mighta done even more damage if Xander hadn’t come along and picked me up.
To make a long story short, we ended up back at my motel. I was all riled up from the fight, plus I hadn’t had a real sexual release in some time, so I jumped his bones and took the guy for a test drive. I mean, I knew it was a test drive cos I had no intention of keepin’ him around for too long . . . but I kinda felt like I wasn’t able to stop myself.
After I kicked him out, I felt really bad. Not because I kicked him out; I’m used to doin’ that. I felt bad because, using some kinda insane troll logic, I felt like I had cheated on B.
And I was disgusted with myself.
So I did the only thing I could think of at that moment.
I got dressed and went out to get drunk.
Betcha you’re glad that I did the adult thing, right?
So, I sat that the Bronze for about 4 hours, danced my ass off, and drank myself into oblivion. They didn’t even care that I was underage. I never offered them my ID, and they never asked to see it.
I was sittin’ at the bar workin’ on my second bottle of Jack Daniels when I felt the warm tingles. I was just about drunk enough to think that it was a side effect of the booze, and I was perfectly fuckin comfortable livin’ in that state of denial.
But then I felt a hand on my shoulder.
I wouldn’t turn to look at her. I couldn’t. I felt too fuckin guilty; too ashamed. I was in love with her but I fucked one of her best friends. What kinda person does that to a person they love?
I didn’t deserve her, or her friendship.
As I felt the bar stool spinnin’, I realized that it wasn’t because I was drunk; it was because B was spinnin’ me so that I faced her.
“Faith? What’s going on?” She asked, her voice full of concern.
I couldn’t answer her. I sat there silent, eyes lowered, chokin’ on the tears that were tryin’ to spill outta me.
“Faith? Talk to me.” She said as she grabbed my hands and held them in her own.
I felt my bottom lip quiver.
I’m not a crier, folks. I don’t know if it was Buffy or the alcohol, but somethin’ made me all emotional and overwhelmed at the same time.
“Faith . . . you know you can tell me anything, right?” She asked soundin’ completely sincere and true, and it broke my heart.
I felt the tears start to fall, but there was no way I wanted her to see them. I couldn’t let her see behind my mask. My head was still down, so I knew she hadn’t seen them yet. I needed to save face, so I did the only thing I could think of.
Out of the bar, away from B, and away from the reality where I loved her and could never let her know it.
But . . . here’s the funny part. It seems that alcohol can turn the simple act of walkin’ into a freak show in motion. I stumbled outta the Bronze and into the alley, trippin’ on crates and garbage cans as I felt my way along the wall. When I finally made my way outta the alley, I slowed down my stumble-run into a clumsy walk and let the tears openly fall.
I hadn’t gotten even 100 yards away from the place when I felt a hand on my shoulder again, stoppin’ my movement.
“Faith!” It was B again, and she was soundin’ kinda frantic now. “Talk to me, dammit! Please . . . tell me what’s going on.”
Again, I wouldn’t turn to face her. I kept my head straight up and looked right ahead of me, not moving an inch as the tears silently fell down my face. Frustrated, she finally came out from behind me and walked so that she was standin’ in front of me.
She paused when she noticed my tears. I don’t think she knew what to do. She’d never seen me cry; I’m not that kinda person. Guess I conveyed that notion pretty well.
Once I finally looked into her eyes, I couldn’t hold it in anymore. Before the first sob escaped my mouth I felt her arms around me, supportin’ me as my legs gave out. She softly sat the two of us right there on the ground and held me while I cried.
I was cryin’ for so many different reasons at that point. Cryin’ because I loved B. Cryin’ cos I couldn’t have the one thing I truly wanted. Cryin’ cos I let down my walls in front of someone for the first time in a long time. Cryin’ cos I fucked Xander. Cryin’ cos B was holdin’ onto me like I mattered. And mostly . . . I was cryin’ just because I was cryin’. Fucked up, right? I know. It’s like . . . I couldn’t believe that I was cryin’, and it was just makin’ me cry even more. I felt so fuckin vulnerable, and that wasn’t a feelin’ that I was used to. Maybe it was the alcohol, cos that surely wasn’t me. I was never an emotional kinda girl.
But I realized it wasn’t the alcohol. It was B.
With the last bit of clarity I had left, I mumbled into her shoulder, “What’ve you done to me, B?” Then the alcohol took over, and I slept into the realm of unconsciousness.
The next thing I remember is hearin’ a key chain jingling and the sound of a door openin’ up. I realized at that point what was happenin’. B had carried me fireman-style all the way from the Bronze back to my motel room.
I felt her softly place me on the bed, tryin’ her hardest not to disturb my alcohol induced slumber. She took off my boots and covered me up, and she finally noticed that my eyes had opened up.
“Hey.” She whispered, cupping one side of my face with her hand.
“Ughhh.” I grunted. I was still pretty drunk at that point. “I’m real fucked up, B. Faith drink too much.”
“I realized that.” She said with a gentle smile. “I stopped to kill two vamps on the way here. You told them both that you loved them, then you cried when I dusted them. I was kinda thinking that you weren’t yourself.”
Then the alcohol started to talk. Remember what I said before? ‘Alcohol goes in and the truth comes out?’
“Did I tell ya that I looove ya too, B?” I slurred, giggling at my words.
“No.” She answered as she moved my hair outta my face.
“Well I do, yunno.” I said.
Remind me never to drink again in my life.
She smiled and chuckled a little. “Yeah, I know, booze-hound. Rest now.”
And I went to sleep, content with the fact that she hadn’t thrown my earlier moment of vulnerability back in my face.
A few weeks went by and we really never spoke of that night again. I think B knew that it would make me uncomfortable, so we just let it go.
Fifth (and last) was the day when a big evil was revealed to us.
For a while by that point, B and I had begun to openly hang out. I’d meet up with her and the Scoobies at school and have lunch with them, she’d go shoppin’ or to the show with me, etc. Basically, our interaction wasn’t really limited to patrol-cuddles anymore.
But the patrol-cuddles were definitely still there.
This one day, I went and got B outta school early so we could go clear out the vamp nest. Her friends gave me death glares cos I was breakin her outta school, but I needed my quality B time, and we had work to do.
So we went and cleared out the nest quick and easy. It was kinda amazin’ how much our strength and fightin’ had grown since we started gettin’ closer to each other. We could anticipate each others’ every move, and not a single demon or vamp could stand up against the deadly duo that we were.
It felt hella good.
So we go to the Bronze and decide to celebrate the ass-kickin that we had just dished out. Well, I told B it was celebratin’, but I really just wanted an excuse to spend more time with her.
So, to make a long story short, Soul-boy came a-broodin’ as always and told B that we had a nasty and powerful old vamp to deal with. Instead of sittin’ on our asses, we decided to go and take out the vamp and his minions.
So we went to the factory district where the vamp was said to be holed up and decided to crash his little party. As we were walkin’ down this one alley, all of the guys’ minions came poppin’ out left and right, throwin’ down like they had nothin’ to lose.
Me and B kicked into our new enhanced Slayer mode, stakin’ vamps left and right without breakin’ stride.
As this one vamp came poppin’ outta nowhere I raised my arm to stake him, but I felt somethin’. It was my bond with B. She was tryin’ to get me to hold back before she could even yell the words. As I rammed down my arm, I stopped it about an inch from the vamps’ chest.
Then I realized why B wanted me to stop.
The figure in front of me wasn’t a vamp. It was a human.
Holy fuck that was close.
“Don’t kill me!” He yelled, his voice on the brink of panic.
B ran up behind me and exhaled sharply. “Oh, thank god!” She sighed. “I couldn’t sense him ‘til the last minute. I was gonna yell out but I didn’t have time.”
“It’s okay, B. I felt what you were feelin too.” I said as I pocketed my stake and offered my hand to the guy who was cowerin’ against a dumpster. He grabbed my hand and I pulled him up, lookin’ at him expectantly when we were finally eye to eye.
“My name is Alan Finch. I’m the deputy Mayor of Sunnydale. I know who you girls are.” He said, and B and I both raised our eyebrows at him.
He continued, “Being as that you’re Slayers and all, I figured that you girls would be the best place for me to turn to.”
He waited for some kinda sign that it was okay to continue, so I spoke up.
“What’s the deal, chiefy? Gotta demon problem?” I asked.
“You have no idea.” He responded, soundin’ kinda grim. “Think demon problem of epic proportions. It’s the Mayor.”
“What’s the Mayor?” B asked with her eyebrows furrowed.
Damn. She looks so cute when she’s confused.
Fuck, she looks confused even when she’s not confused. In fact, she’s adorable on pretty much all of those days that end in ‘y’. Yunno . . . Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday . . . you get my drift.
“The demon is the Mayor. The Mayor is the demon. Or at least he’s going to be. He’s not quite human now, but he’s planning some kind of Ascension. I don’t know the big details, but I know that he’s going to become 100% demon and that the world hasn’t seen one of that magnitude for more time than I can account for.”
“Why you tellin’ us this, chiefy?” I asked skeptically. “If you know ‘bout it, you’re obviously involved with it all. How can we trust you?”
He sighed. “Because you have to. He’s going to ascend, and when he does, not many people are going to live to see it. I can’t let that happen.”
“So, what do we do about it?” B asked.
“I don’t know. And from this point on, you guys don’t know me.” He said. “He can’t know I told anyone. I want to live through this too, and he’ll kill me if he finds out. I won’t be able to meet with you again, but I wanted to at least inform you on his intentions. Hopefully, you’ll be able to look into it and stop it before it happens.”
And just like that, he walked outta the alley and left me and b standin’ there, completely bowled over.
There was a real big evil brewin’ in town . . . but at least we had a heads up.
So there you have it.
That’s all of the small stuff that happened before the real good stuff began. I know it might seem trivial now, but I think that every little detail helps in me tellin’ you this story.
So, what’s to come, you ask? Well, what do you think? Revelations, heartbreaks, angst, love, hate, explanations, departures, reunions, old acquaintances, and surprising events.
And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
But I’ll tell ya this much: B and me were getting’ closer and closer as the days went by. Her relationship with Angel was slowly fallin’ apart, and I sure as hell was gonna be there to pick up the pieces.
Cos ‘Buffy love’ was kinda like a drug, and I was already addicted and cravin’ more.
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