"Buffy, have you seen Faith around at all?"
Buffy looked up from her food and at her best friend. "No, but I know she's still in town. I can feel it."
The pair sat in the cafeteria of Buffy's dorm, eating lunch. Willow was eating anyway. Buffy was mostly looking at her food and thinking. She was intent on busying herself with staring out the window or looking at the people around her, not being able to find her appetite.
All she seemed to do was think and not about the things she should. Buffy kept trying to figure out Faith and what to do about Faith and her. She didn't even know if she should even consider a Faith and her scenario. It seemed so weird because the other slayer had made herself scarce since they last talked. That meant the only situation she could think of was one where the two of them didn't talk at all. She didn't particularly like that one because she wanted Faith in her life. She just didn't know how she wanted her.
Willow gave her a puzzled look. "Is something going on between you two?"
"Huh?" Buffy tried not to look too shocked at the question. During the just over two weeks since Faith returned to Sunnydale, questions like that were only insinuated, never spoken and she had been grateful for that. Faith wasn't exactly something she could easily explain, not even to herself.
"Something's going on, Buffy." Willow stopped picking at her food and looked at her. "You haven't been the same since she's been back and she hasn't been around at all. I know you weren't the best of friends last year but you mostly got along and she patrolled with you and even hung out with us once and awhile. Now it's the second day of college and you're in a daze and Faith's nowhere to be seen. My powers of deduction tell me something's going on."
Buffy sighed and looked down, knowing she had to be honest with her friend even if she didn't want to. She hoped it would make her feel a little better. "We had sex."
Willow started coughing uncontrollably, her eyes watering. After a minute, she looked at Buffy, her face a picture of shock. "What?"
"We had sex." It was easier to say the second time and Buffy only revealed a hint of embarrassment.
"I . . . I just . . . I don't . . . huh?"
Buffy eyed the other tables suspiciously before leaning in toward Willow. "About a month before graduation we had a really active night, high vamp activity with a few demons mixed in. She pretty much saved my ass from a couple of vamps during a big fight. We were both very worked up from it and, I don't know, I looked at her differently. Then I kissed her."
"You what?" Willow hissed, her eyes wide in disbelief.
"I know." Buffy lowered her head slightly and blushed, hoping no one at any of the other tables heard her. She knew it really didn't matter if anyone did since they didn't know her and wouldn't care but the reaction was automatic. "I don't know why I did it but before I knew what was happening we were making out against a tree."
"Buff, if you tell me you and Faith had sex in a graveyard, I may black out and wherever Xander is, his head will explode."
She shook her head but smiled at her friend's response. She was also grateful Willow wasn't chastising her for what she had done. "No, we didn't. That night we broke away and just kinda walked in separate directions. We didn't even say anything after we moved away from each other. The next night, however . . . well, we patrolled and then we went back to her motel room. Almost every night after went pretty much the same way."
"Were the two of you, like, going out?"
Buffy kept her eyes lowered and shook her head again. "No, we were just fooling around, I guess. We didn't talk about it . . . I didn't even want to think about discussing it right away. I was under a lot of stress and being with Faith made all that go away for a couple hours." She looked at Willow. "The only time I thought about telling everyone and talking to Faith about what we were doing was the night before graduation." She sighed. "It was the only time I ever spent the night."
"And then she left without saying anything?"
Buffy nodded, feeling exactly what she felt when she found out Faith was gone. She suddenly wanted to be elsewhere but knew to finish their conversation first. She knew she owed her friend that much now that she had told her what was bothering her.
"How upset are you that she's back?"
"I'd be fine if she had an explanation but she didn't and it doesn't register with her that she might need one."
"Did she at least tell you where she was?" Willow leaned in, showing her interest in the conversation.
"No." Buffy furrowed her brow. "She's very mysterious about that."
"So you have no idea?"
"None. She didn't say where she went at all. She could have been anywhere and I don't even know why she's come back." She sighed again. "She expects everything to go back to the way it was before she left."
"You mean . . ."
"All sex and no complications." Buffy almost bristled at her response but she knew it was true. That was what Faith's actions equated to in her mind.
Willow was silent for a moment, processing everything. "She had to have known there would be some sort of complication, right?"
"I don't know. It probably didn't seem like there would be at the time but I don't think either of us thought about the complications or consequences of what happened." Buffy looked at Willow with a serious expression on her face. "I don't think Faith is a very 'think first' type of person, you know? I sure wasn't when we got together but now all I do is think about it."
"You know you have to talk to Faith, right? You can't just avoid each other. Sunnydale's not big enough for two slayers to not run into each other. I'm surprised you've made it this long."
Buffy took a deep breath and let it out slowly while looking at her food. "Yeah, I know. I'll go over to her place after my last class." She looked back up at Willow. "I'm just afraid that when she wants to jump right back to what we had before, I won't say no. I almost gave in when she came over to the house the day after she came back."
Willow looked thoughtful for a minute before saying anything. "Do you like Faith?"
Buffy furrowed her brow in thought. "A little, maybe. She's really hot." She blushed a bright shade of red as she thought of one of the reasons she kept going back to Faith, one of the main ones. "She's great in bed."
Willow blushed just as red. "I don't know if I needed to know that but . . . it's good to know all the bragging's not for nothing."
"Will!" Buffy looked at her, slightly shocked, but a smile was now on her face.
"Hey, I'm just saying." Willow laughed quietly. "You're gonna talk to her then."
"Yes and just talk. There will be no fooling around."
Willow nodded as Buffy hoped her words wouldn't be for nothing.
Buffy took a deep breath and knocked on the motel room door. She had knocked on that same door so many times before the very act made her both worked up and nervous. It was the same feeling she had when she wanted Faith to make everything go away, to make her forget all the stress and the pressure that went with being a slayer. She tried to make those same feelings go away now because she didn't want to do anything she'd regret later.
The entire way over to the motel she tried to figure out what to say to Faith but she couldn't find the right words. She didn't know how to respond to Faith's advances either or if she could ignore or deny them. It wasn't something she even wanted to think about, mostly due to that uncertainty.
Almost instantly, the door opened. "What do you - oh, hey, B."
Buffy looked at her curiously, not expecting to hear such a frustrated and short tone from Faith. "Expecting someone else?"
"No one important. Come on in." Faith gestured with her hand and stepped aside to let Buffy in. Once she was inside, Faith closed the door and walked over to her as Buffy turned around, stopping just inches away. "Change your mind?"
"What?" Buffy asked with confusion in her voice then groaned as Faith waggled her eyebrows. "Is that all you think about?"
"Yeah." Faith grinned. "That and slaying. I know you know what I'm talking about. Besides, I'm not gonna hide that I want in your pants again."
Faith closed the distance between the two and kissed Buffy almost gently. Buffy's eyes went wide with shock at the gentleness. It wasn't something they normally had when they were together and it caught her off guard. She fought it for a moment before closing her eyes and giving into the kiss. It only stayed gentle for a moment before Faith deepened it, kissing Buffy harder and pushing her tongue into her mouth. At that action, Buffy finally found the strength to push her away.
"Faith, stop," she gasped out, taking a step back. "That's not why I came here."
The other woman furrowed her brow. "Why did you come here?"
"To talk to you." Buffy looked at her calmly, wondering why Faith was acting the way she was, so one track and even more so than normal.
"I'm not big on talking, B. You know that."
Buffy scowled, not liking that Faith was trying to shut down any talking whatsoever. She wanted to think they could have a conversation but Faith needed to want that, too, for it to work. "Why did you come back?"
Faith waved her arm around dramatically. "Hellmouth." She pointed to herself. "Slayer."
"Okay, I can give you that. Then why did you leave?"
"Bullshit." Buffy kept her scowl. "Why did you really leave?"
Faith shrugged. "I needed a break, didn't want to be here."
"You didn't want to be here? Why?" Buffy asked, hiding the hurt the statement caused.
She looked into Buffy's eyes, hiding any emotion in them. "I just did. I know you've done the same, only when you do it people care and go looking for you."
"You don't know what the hell you're talking about." Buffy gritted her teeth for a moment at the memories Faith brought up before relaxing slightly. She knew she was referring to when she ran the year before but Buffy thought the two were very different. At least, they were for her. "We cared. I asked around, tried to find out where you went but no one knew anything. After a couple weeks, I didn't know what else to do. I thought you weren't coming back."
"I was coming back. I just don't like staying in one place." She paused, looking away. "I mean . . . shit, are you trying to confuse me?"
"No, I just want you to be honest with me." Buffy kept eye contact with Faith when she could, hoping that would help get her talking. She couldn't stop looking into her beautiful eyes anyway. That had always been her weakness.
It seemed like every part of Faith was a weakness to her now. Her dark brown eyes, her dimples that always showed when she grinned, even the way she spoke at times was a distraction. It hadn't been like that before and Buffy had no idea what to do with it now. That wasn't helping her situation.
"Honest?" Faith raised an eyebrow and took a step toward Buffy, getting as close as she could. "I am being honest with you." She brushed her lips lightly against hers, staring into her eyes. "I want to fuck you so bad right now."
Buffy sighed, not stopping Faith as she wrapped her arms around her and kissed her deeply. Once again she lost the control she always wanted to keep around Faith and found herself putting her arms around her as well, placing her hands on her back. Their tongues met, sliding against each other as they kissed until they needed to break apart for air.
Faith only took a quick breath before latching onto Buffy's neck and starting to suck and nibble lightly. She kept one hand firmly on her back while the other drifted up her side before stopping on the side of her face. Buffy continued to hold onto the other slayer for all she was worth.
"Faith . . ." Buffy meant to say her name more to get her attention so she would stop and they could talk but instead it came out as more of a moan, not doing anything to stop the other slayer.
The action made Faith suck a little harder and she slowly made her way up to her ear. She took the lobe into her mouth and sucked for a few seconds before placing light kisses behind her ear. She must have known or remembered how much Buffy liked that because it made it harder for her to stop her. The hand on Buffy's back started to creep its way under her shirt, caressing her smooth skin as it moved.
Buffy continued to sigh out, not remembering why she didn't want this to happen. In fact, everything Faith was doing was only making her remember why she kept coming back to her night after night before their big showdown with the Mayor. Faith made everything go away, all the stress and the negatives she dealt with day after day. Instinctively, she put a hand on the back of Faith's head and moved her so she could kiss her lips again.
As they kissed passionately, Faith moved her hands quickly to Buffy's fly, unbuttoning it and sliding her hand into her panties. She groaned into her mouth at the wetness there but Buffy's eyes opened wide at the action and she pushed her away.
Buffy took a step back and took a deep breath as well. "I can't do this."
Faith groaned and put a hand through her hair. She looked at the other woman with both anger and a touch of disappointment in her eyes. "You looked like you were doing just fine to me."
Buffy buttoned her jeans and straightened out her clothes, not looking up yet. "I can't have sex with you, Faith."
"Why the hell not?"
"Because you left!" Buffy walked up to Faith, a scowl on her face. "A lot of people left after graduation, people I care about, but the difference between them and you is that they said they were leaving and I had time to deal with it. You said nothing which only shows me that I meant nothing to you."
Faith shook her head and scoffed. "That is such bullshit and you know it, B."
"I don't believe you."
"Whatever." Faith crossed her arms over her chest. "You know, if you just came over to yell at me, I really could have done without. I saw enough of your bitch act when I first got here last year to last me a lifetime."
"I'm not gonna act like everything's fine. You just can't come back and have everything be the same." Buffy continued to meet Faith's eyes in hopes of reading what she was thinking but she couldn't read her.
That had always been one of her problems. She never quite knew what Faith was thinking or why she did the things she did. The only thing she was certain of most times was whether or not she was lying. Buffy knew Faith was lying right now, at least partially, but she couldn't figure out why.
Faith rubbed her temples. "Look, I left. I don't think that's such a big deal but you obviously do." She sighed. "We're not gonna agree here, B, so just go and I'll see you around."
Buffy's look went from anger to hurt. "That's it? Just 'I'll see you around'?"
"Pretty much." She shrugged.
"Why did you come back?" Buffy hoped that if she kept asking Faith would slip and be honest with her. She also needed to get a grip on her feelings. She was struggling not to cry due to the fact it looked as though Faith was ready to let go of even a chance of friendship with her.
"I told you." Faith groaned. "Look, lets just meet up for patrol later, okay? I'm sick of trying to figure out where you'll be and patrol elsewhere."
Buffy face lightened a little, hoping what Faith said meant she was lowering her walls, if only slightly. "Fine . . . we can do that."
The rest of the day had been so long for Buffy but now she was meeting Faith outside of one of the bigger cemeteries in Sunnydale. They agreed on that one right before Buffy left Faith's room mostly because it was the one both of them hit each night.
She walked quickly toward the entrance once it was in sight, ready to start patrolling. She wished it would be just like old times, the two of them bickering over stupid things and having each other's back in a fight. That's what she wanted for this night.
Buffy was almost excited for it, feeling the way she did some of those nights last year when she thoroughly enjoyed slaying. Back then, being part of a team was something she needed to get used to and now was something she missed.
Buffy saw Faith pacing slightly outside the entrance and picked up the pace, not wanting to keep her waiting. The younger slayer looked her way and waved for a second to get her attention. She didn't even need to do that as far as Buffy was concerned: Faith always had her attention one way or another.
"Hey, B," Faith greeted her once she reached the entrance.
"Hey." Buffy smiled warmly, looking Faith over for a moment. She had on jeans and tank top due to the warm night and her hands were in her pockets. Buffy thought she looked a little nervous. "Waiting long?"
"Nah, got here a few minutes ago." Faith looked at her and smiled. "Lets go."
They walked into the cemetery and started looking around. Both were silent for a few minutes, not knowing what to say to each other. Buffy didn't know if she should just start talking about her day to day life or something else. She wasn't sure if Faith even cared.
Finally, Buffy couldn't take the silence any longer. "Do you like living at the motel, Faith?"
Faith looked over at her with a furrowed brow, not slowing down or stopping her stride. "Why?"
"I don't know. Just curious, I guess."
The younger woman looked away, toward the gravestones. "It's better than nothing. I don't think about it all that much."
Buffy nodded and the pair continued on. After about ten minutes, they heard some sounds, footsteps and hushed talking, and they signaled to each other to follow it.
Buffy took the lead and Faith followed closely behind her as they neared the commotion. They rounded a couple corners and stopped behind a crypt where they could see three vampires arguing. Buffy turned to Faith and jerked her head toward the trio.
"What are you thinking?"
Faith grinned. "I'm not . . . lets just jump in there and finish them."
Buffy looked down and thought for a second before looking up at her. "No plan?"
"There's only three. Don't need one." Without another word, Faith grinned wickedly and ran out to meet the unsuspecting trio head on.
Buffy ran in after her but still watched as Faith jumped with her arms out and tackled all three of them. All of the vamps were caught off guard but two recovered quickly and grabbed at the younger slayer. Buffy got to the fight only a second later, however, and pulled one of them out of the fight and off of Faith, grabbing him by the collar and punching him in the face.
"Now I don't think you're playing fair, are you?" she quipped, throwing him in the air. The vamp hit a tree and Buffy ran to him, stake in hand. He made to move toward her but she was too fast for him and got there first, pushing him back and staking him quickly.
She looked over at the fight and saw that Faith had her hands full but was managing. She traded blows with both of them relatively easily and even though they were managing to land blows, she still had the upper hand. Faith held her stake in her right hand and used it to stab one of them in order to distract him, then staked the other.
Buffy ran up to the group and staked the last one while Faith caught her breath. They looked at each other and grinned.
Faith nodded. "I wore that last one down for you, ya know that, right?" She pressed against her abdomen. "And he didn't exactly hit soft."
"You sure you're okay?" Buffy walked over to her and reached out to her. "If you're hurt, we can go."
"Chill, B." Faith looked at her then down at her hand as Buffy stopped herself from touching her stomach. "Let's continue on. More vamps waiting."
Buffy looked at where Faith's eyes were going then back up at her. They looked into each other's eyes for a few seconds before Buffy broke the stare and grinned, hoping they could get past what she knew both of them were thinking.
"I don't think you wore him down, Faith. I think I probably just saved you and you're too tough to admit it."
"In your dreams, twinkie." Faith grinned back. "I could've gotten both of them easy."
"Whatever you say," Buffy said easily and walked past her toward another section on the cemetery. Faith followed and they moved deeper into the cemetery.