Trying To Remember
by Hayley

Chapter Five

By nine in the morning, Faith figured she had ran through every street in Sunnydale. Still, she couldn't lose enough energy to not think about Buffy. If only she could have a conversation with the blonde without her shutting it down, she knew they could at least get past the fact they really couldn't look at each other. Buffy couldn't because she was ashamed for some reason and Faith couldn't because she was frustrated with the lack of memory.

Even with all that, Faith's run ended on Revello Drive. She paced the sidewalk for a couple minutes when she heard someone calling for her.

"Faith, is that you?"

The brunette looked up and toward the front door. "Uh, yeah. Hi, Mrs. S," Faith responded, suddenly nervous about having been lingering there for some time.

"Are you here to visit Buffy?" she asked sweetly. She gave her a small smile that Faith returned. The blonde's mother was always nice to her. "I just made some breakfast and there's plenty left. I was just heading out."

"Oh, uh, I don't know if B'd like that," the brunette mumbled, shifting from one foot to the other.

"Are you two arguing again?" Mrs. Summers asked, walking toward the younger slayer.

"Something like that," Faith mumbled again, looking up at the blonde's mother. She knew she could really freak Buffy out by telling her mother exactly why they weren't talking but nothing good could come from that and she knew it.

"You'll work it out," she said with authority. "Now go in there and eat some breakfast."

Faith gave her a small grin. "Sure thing, Mrs. S."

Joyce just waved at her as she got into her Jeep and backed out of the driveway. Faith watched her leave before taking a deep breath and walking up to the door. She opened it and went in, hearing Buffy call out from the kitchen.

"Mom, what did you forget?" the blonde laughed, walking toward the door and freezing when she saw Faith.

"Hey," Faith greeted quietly, "your mom said I should come in and that there was breakfast." She paused. "Never said no to a free meal."

"Yeah," Buffy said slowly, looking as though she was trying hard to say the right thing, "come on in."

Faith followed Buffy into the kitchen and saw enough eggs and toast to feed a small family. "Whoa, B, didn't realize ya had it in you."

"What do you mean?" Buffy asked, giving her a confused look.

"The food," Faith pointed to the table, "you eat all that. You've been holding out on me."

Buffy narrowed her eyes, but smiled. "Mom's overcompensating. She thinks she's not here enough so whenever she is she cooks, bakes, makes me eat every second."

Faith looked her up and down. "It doesn't show."

The blonde blushed. "Thanks, I think." She moved to sit over at the table and motioned for Faith to do the same. "We better eat all this or Mom'll get irritated."

"I think we're up for the challenge," Faith grinned and started eating.

The pair ate in silence but for the first time in days, it was a comfortable silence. Buffy seemed to have finally relaxed enough so she could be in the same room as the younger slayer and for that Faith was grateful. It was only when the food was gone did everything start to come crashing back.

"So B, I like the fact you're not avoiding me," Faith said as Buffy got up to put things away.

"I wouldn't call it avoiding," Buffy said, not looking at her. "I just can't deal right now and you're pushing."

"I'm not pushing," Faith protested and Buffy shot her a look. "Okay, maybe I pushed a little but you wouldn't talk at all. I can't remember . . . or at least, I couldn't."

Buffy looked at her in horror. "What do you mean?"

Faith got up and slowly started walking toward the blonde. "I mean, I'm starting to remember, bit by bit." She reached Buffy and stopped, keeping eye contact. "It was good, wasn't it? What I can remember felt unbelievable."

"I . . . I don't . . . " the older woman couldn't seem say anything, especially when Faith put a hand on her chin so she wouldn't look down.

"Come on, B," Faith whispered before leaning in and softly pressing her lips to the blonde's.

Buffy didn't respond for a moment but Faith took the blonde's hands and placed them on her sides. She placed her own in Buffy's hair as she tried to deepen the kiss. She kept the other slayer pressed against her as she pushed her tongue into her mouth.

She heard Buffy moan into her mouth and thought for sure she could get a repeat performance of their night together. She could feel how turned on the blonde was and was now wondering if she was as wet as Faith was, too. Buffy started to move her hands slightly on the brunette, finally reacting to what the younger slayer was doing.

They broke up for air and Faith wrapped her arms around Buffy, trying to not let the blonde have a way out. "Lets keep going," she breathed out and quickly moved in again.

Buffy let Faith kiss her for a few seconds before taking a step back and moving her head away. "I can't."

Faith groaned. "Why not? We both want to, I can tell."

Buffy scowled at her. "If you don't know then I can't help you." She took hold of Faith's arms and moved them away from her. "I think you should go."

"B, no," Faith said strongly, putting a hand in her hair, "that kiss was like, wicked cool. I know you feel the same way. There's something you're not telling me."

"Faith, just go," she said, taking another couple steps away. "I don't want to discuss something that was obviously a very huge mistake."

Faith furrowed her brow, anger starting to take over. "You know what, B? Fuck you. You think everything is all about you. Newsflash: it's not. You are not the only one in the fucking world and I can't, no I won't, do something just because you wish it." She started to walk away but stopped and looked back before she reached the living room. "I want us to at least be friends but all I get from you is mixed signals. You can't do this shit to people."

"Faith, I . . . "

"I don't want to hear your excuses," Faith said, putting up her hand to stop the blonde from saying anything, "but I will grant you your wish. I'm gone."

Before Buffy could even respond, the younger slayer stormed out the door.

The rest of the day Faith spent in a drunken stupor. Empty bottles started to litter her apartment as she drank more and more, trying to forget everything Buffy. Faith found out that when she passed out she didn't dream and that was the last thing she wanted to do right now.

It felt like her dreams were taunting her. They were showing her something she could never have and she hated it more than anything. She had a feeling there was something about that night she needed to remember and the reason Buffy was so uncomfortable is because she didn't remember that one thing.

Faith couldn't understand why Buffy would be so upset about any of it. The blonde obviously liked whatever they had done and Faith would be more than happy to help her get over the embarrassment if she'd just open up. Even though the brunette hated feelings, she was positive when Buffy shared hers she'd get some action out of the deal.

By the time it got dark out, Faith was way too drunk to do any sort of patrol and she at least had the sense to know it. If she went out, her reflexes would be off and all she'd be was a free meal to some vampire. There was no way she'd give vampires everywhere the satisfaction.

Instead, she just took a shower, another cold one, and went right to bed. She thought about how just the thought of Buffy was taking all the fun out of her life. She didn't feel like slaying or going clubbing or even getting laid. The blonde had invaded every part of her life and it was leaving her empty.

She lay on her back, staring up at the ceiling for what seemed like hours before she finally fell asleep. The fact she was still incredibly buzzed from all the alcohol let her sleep for awhile without any mention of Buffy. As soon as that wore off though, the blonde was there.

They were standing up, kissing furiously. Faith could feel all she wanted to do was pick the older slayer up and carry her off to the bedroom but knew that would have been the wrong move. Instead, she had her arms wrapped tightly around Buffy and took small steps backwards toward her bedroom, pulling the other woman along with her.

Buffy was actually responding to her movements and even starting some of her own. Her hands were under the brunette's shirt, feeling out her bare skin. Her dream was only in flashes and still had no sound but Faith was more than getting the point of everything.

Once they made it to the bedroom, it was something right out of Faith's fantasies. They must have fallen onto the bed at some point because she knew for sure she was lying down since she could see her sheets underneath them. She could also feel hands on her. Soft, tentative hands.

At first, she couldn't see much of anything, just the occasional body part and she thought for a second she might wake up again. Finally, she could see Buffy's face. It was blurred but she could see it. The older slayer looked content, almost joyful. The look was certainly a shock to Faith. She at least expected a little apprehension on her face.

She could feel their movements, even though it was now just a flash here and there. She could feel the older woman's skin, feel how wet she was. She could feel the blonde's muscles ripple and feel her shiver as her hands glided over her body. They must have lost the clothes at one point too because Faith couldn't see any. At least now she knew how Buffy looked naked. The blonde was so beautiful and Faith knew she would have been at a loss for words at the sight.

She could feel Buffy on her, her hands exploring her body. The feel of it was so soft and light, like she didn't know what she was doing but wanted to try exploring, maybe just feel out what she should be doing. It went beyond words, something Faith couldn't even describe. She loved every second of it.

It seemed to go on for hours and Faith didn't want the feeling to ever end. She only saw flashes of what they were actually doing but the feelings were what was important. She could feel Buffy's wetness on her fingers, could feel Buffy press against her clit. She felt the older woman's fingers inside her, curling just slightly, making her moan. She felt Buffy's skin against her lips as she moved down her body, tasting her just like she always wanted to.

When it finally did end, Faith only expected the worst but instead of feeling a cold rejection she felt Buffy's arms around her as she did the same. Then she heard a sentence that made her almost have a heart attack.

"I love you."

Faith bolted upright in bed, sweating from both being intensely turned on and being shocked as hell. She was breathing hard, going through her dream point by point until she hit those words again.

"I love you."

They were soft but clear as day. And it wasn't her voice: it was Buffy's.

Leave Feedback || Chapter Six -->

Chapter One || Chapter Two || Chapter Three || Chapter Four || Chapter Five || Chapter Six || Chapter Seven || Chapter Eight

Back to Hayley's Page

Home ||| Buffy Fics ||| Non-Buffy Fics ||| Other Authors ||| Site Updates ||| Update Alerts