Trying To Remember
by Hayley

Chapter Two

It was around ten at night when Faith finally decided to sober up and go out for the nightly patrol. Her phone hadn't rang all day so she knew Buffy wasn't expecting them to patrol together. After what happened the previous night that didn't surprise her. She figured nothing good was going to happen as a result from what they'd done. At least, she was certain Buffy felt that way.

She walked to the nearest cemetery from her apartment and started the normal patrol. The brunette staked a couple vamps and started to work up a little adrenalin when she heard the distant sounds of a fight. There didn't sound to be much of a struggle but she needed to check it out nonetheless. She felt it was part of the job. Faith immediately grabbed her trusty stake and ran toward the sound.

Faith reached her destination and smiled slightly as she saw Buffy going toe to toe with a really huge vampire. She thought for a moment about maybe going over and helping her finish it but instead leaned against a tree and watched.

The blonde was struggling a little thanks to the vamp's height and weight advantage over her, but slayer strength definitely had its perks. With a small grunt, she kicked the vamp in the stomach and sent him staggering back, trying to regain his balance.

"Like that?" Buffy quipped at him, sneering. "I've got plenty more where that came from." She motioned him forward. "Come on."

"You're dead, slayer!" he yelled as he raced toward her. Obviously, he wasn't that bright since he ran at her without a plan of attack.

Buffy dodged him easily and gave him a just strong enough kick to push him head first into a gravestone. It cracked on impact but the vamp must have had a remarkably hard head because he shook it off quickly and headed right back to the blonde.

"Wow, your head must be just one giant rock," she said in a sarcastic tone, "that does explain the stupidity though."

He didn't respond but stood off with her and swung out, connecting with Buffy's shoulder. She grunted with a little pain, but it only fueled her on. She punched him in the face and delivered another quick kick to the abdomen before sweeping his feet out from under him. The older slayer wasted no more time: she reached down and staked him quickly.

Faith just watched her, in awe of how gorgeous she looked while she fought. She didn't think it was possible for Buffy to look any hotter than she already was, but slaying seemed to have that effect on her. She watched as the blonde stood up straight and brushed any remaining vamp dust off her tight clothing.

Buffy seemed to become aware of someone watching her because she immediately tensed, hand gripping her stake, and her eyes started to wander the surrounding area. When she turned, she saw the brunette slayer and a flash of emotions displayed on her face. It was dark so Faith couldn't really see what they were. She just hoped one of them wasn't hate.

"What are you doing here?" Buffy asked, her voice steady. There wasn't any anger there, just exhausted curiosity, and the brunette was thankful for that.

"Slaying," Faith responded, a small smirk on her face, "you know, like always. This is the closest cemetery to my apartment so I thought I'd start here."

"Oh," Buffy said quietly, looking down. "I guess I didn't think about that."

Faith walked a few steps toward her, trying not to swagger over. She really wanted to talk to her fellow slayer and didn't want to have Buffy fly off the handle and leave. If she looked like she was coming onto her that would surely do it.

"Yeah," Faith nodded, "I really didn't expect to see you at this one."

Buffy nodded. "Yeah . . . I think I'm going to head to the next one. You probably have this one covered."

"B, wait," Faith said quickly as the blonde turned to leave. "Can I tag along?"

Buffy furrowed her brow, looking as though she was mentally weighing the pros and cons. "I guess," she responded, shrugging her shoulders.

Faith gave her a small smile and walked the rest of the way to her, stopping when she was a couple feet away. "Where to?"

"Let's just head to the next one down the road," Buffy sighed again and seemed to tense up with Faith walking right next to her.

For a couple minutes, neither of them said anything. That wasn't out of the ordinary normally: most times on patrol the two shared a comfortable silence. This time was so far from comfortable, however, and Faith could only stand it for so long. She finally broke it, feeling the need to say something.

"B," Faith said, stopping and touching the blonde's shoulder to make her stop as well, "can we talk?"

Buffy looked at the hand on her shoulder with wide eyes and then at Faith. "Why?"

"Because we need to," the brunette said strongly, "everything is different now and call me a moron, but I don't know why."

Buffy scoffed. "You're a moron, Faith." She paused and took a step away from the other woman, almost like she didn't want to risk getting too close. "Of course everything's different. I mean, we . . . "

"We fucked," Faith nodded, looking Buffy in the eye. She couldn't deny that much. If it was a mistake on the blonde's part, however, she just wanted her to admit it so they could move on. It would hurt the younger slayer to hear that from the other woman but she could deal if that was the case. She just needed to hear it.

"Can you not describe it like that?"

"How do you want me to describe it?" Faith questioned, her voice steady. "I mean, you're the only one who remembers."

Buffy sighed. "Everything's different because we . . . had sex. I don't know how to even look at you anymore."

Faith tried and succeeded to hide the hurt the comment caused. She didn't think it would have really been that bad. She also didn't want to think that Buffy was disgusted at having been with her.

"Why?" Faith asked. "Is it because of the sex itself? Did I force you to do something you didn't want to do?"

"No, you didn't," Buffy answered and Faith breathed a sigh of relief. That answer sprouted many more questions in Faith's mind, however, and she didn't know how to ask some of them.

"So get over it," the brunette slayer quickly said. "We were drunk. It was a one night stand, no big deal. It doesn't have to change the fact we're kick ass slayers fightin' the good fight."

Buffy rubbed the side of her face, thinking about what she should say. "It doesn't change the slaying part, but it changes everything else. We're just supposed to be friends, Faith. Nothing more."

Faith nodded. "We can do that. Sex can't change that."

"Maybe it doesn't for you, Ms. Queen of the One Night Stands, but it does for me. I can't take that lightly."

Faith didn't know how to respond. Buffy was right: she didn't take sex all that seriously. She just couldn't understand why the older slayer couldn't just get past the one night of drunken sex so they to get on with things.

"Why not, B?" Faith asked her, taking a step closer. The only thing she could think of was that maybe Buffy didn't want to forget. "Are you scared 'cause you liked it? Wanna have another go? I mean, we are pretty close to my apartment."

Buffy scowled at her. "Go to hell, Faith." She turned quickly and walked away, leaving Faith standing there.

"We'll be goin' together, sweetheart," Faith called out sarcastically as she watched her walk away. She knew it was probably a bad option to push the older woman's buttons but it was in her nature to do so. That, and the fact the brunette had a feeling Buffy was feeling more about the night than she let on.

Faith walked into her apartment and immediately went for her bottle of whiskey. She hadn't bothered slaying after her little "talk" with Buffy. She just wanted to go home.

Taking a healthy swig, Faith crashed on the couch with her bottle and sighed. Every time she talked to Buffy, all two times anyway, things had only gotten worse. The younger woman wasn't much of a talker and was now wondering if things would be better if she were only better at conversation.

She knew sex was a big deal for Buffy. As far as Faith knew, Buffy only had sex with Angel once and didn't think there had been anyone else. This meant that Faith was not just the only woman she'd slept with but also the second person in general. The brunette could see how that might be a big deal for her. She just didn't understand why Buffy couldn't say that and move on.

Faith put a hand over her eyes and sighed once again. She had encountered her share of morning after regrets, from both sides. A couple times she wanted to burn the first layer of her skin off to cleanse herself of a drunken screw. The brunette knew that you never knew who you were really bringing home until the next morning and then regret could sink in quickly.

This was so different. This was sex with Buffy. It went so beyond everything Faith could comprehend and it was killing her that she couldn't remember it. She wanted to remember the rest of that night, if only to see why Buffy was freaking the hell out about it.

Of course, there was always the question of why Faith didn't remember. She didn't want to believe it was the alcohol, mostly because she'd drunk much more on several occasions and could remember everything clear as day. She thought for a moment that maybe it might be a spell, but couldn't see the motive in it. The only person who might want her to forget was Buffy and she couldn't perform a spell alone to save her life. There was no way she'd ask Willow to help with that, not in this situation.

The only option left was that maybe she didn't want to remember. Faith couldn't see how this was possible at all. It seemed more implausible to her than blacking out from drinking. Right now she would give anything to remember and if her brain was getting in the way, she'd just have to make it work. She wanted to know.

She sat for the next hour, going over all the possible ways and reasons why Buffy had sex with her and why she couldn't remember it. Finally, realizing how badly her head now hurt, she got up and decided to get some sleep, silently hoping things might be a little clearer in the morning.

As soon as Faith went to sleep, she started to dream. They weren't the normal dreams Faith normally had, however. Those were filled with memories from home and watching her first watcher die. Those were the ones that ended with her waking up in the middle of the night angry, sweating or scared. Her dreams tonight were nothing more the flashes and mumbles of words and it took all her strength to make sense of it.

It started with just simple flashes of pavement. It took Faith a few moments to realize it was the pavement of her street. She could see a little of the buildings that lined her block so she knew exactly where she was. It felt like she was looking through the lens of a camera that wouldn't stay still so she was sure she was pretty drunk. She even felt as though she were stumbling, like she was having balance issues.

That went on for a while until she saw her feet stumbling up some stairs with an ass in front of her. Buffy's ass to be exact. Faith could feel herself smiling at the sight. She never missed an opportunity to check out the blonde's ass or anything else of hers for that matter. She could also hear some muffled laughter but couldn't decipher anything else. Whatever was going on the pair must have thought something was funny.

Suddenly everything flashed to the inside for her apartment. She and the blonde slayer were laughing, that much she was sure of. Faith was a little relieved Buffy seemed to be having a good time. Even with the other slayer saying she was at her apartment she never really believed it. Buffy always seemed to avoid even entering the place. She guessed it hadn't been an issue that night.

She turned her head and could see multiple bottles of alcohol on the table in front of her which showed Buffy was telling the truth when she mentioned they were drinking there. Faith couldn't tell what they were actually drinking, her vision was still blurry, but figured they must have had a lot of whatever it was. The way Buffy looked in the morning was proof enough.

All of a sudden, she was looking at the blonde slayer. Buffy's mouth moving, like she saying something, but Faith couldn't figure out what it was. She heard only muffled sounds and laughter, but couldn't get any words even when she concentrated.

Buffy looked so happy, almost content, laughing and giggling. Faith smiled again at the image. She liked Buffy a lot better when she was more carefree and didn't look as though she had the weight of the world on her shoulders. That was how she looked most of the time and even though Faith tried to relieve some of that burden, her demeanor rarely changed.

Then something happened Faith was completely unprepared for. She looked down and saw that Buffy's hand was on hers. She looked back up and saw the blonde had a giddy little smile on her face. And then, she leaned in and kissed her.

Faith jolted herself awake at the image. She was breathing heavy and took a minute to calm herself from what she just saw. Buffy had kissed her, not the other way around. Buffy made the first move.


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Chapter One || Chapter Two || Chapter Three || Chapter Four || Chapter Five || Chapter Six || Chapter Seven || Chapter Eight

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