by Hayley

Chapter Six

I can't believe I'm nervous about seeing Faith but I am. I'm thinking twice about what I should wear and what I should do. It's all very confusing.

Then again, I think we agreed what we're doing tonight can be considered a date.

"Mom, I'm going over to Faith's," I yell as I run down the stairs.

"Have fun!" is all I hear as I rush out the door. I didn't want to have a conversation with my mom because I'm nervous enough as it is and I haven't told her about Faith yet. That little talk will happen once I figure out all my Faith-type feelings.

Faith had brought up meeting me over here but that seemed a little weird. I mean, it's not like she has a car she could pick me up in or anything and my mom would expect her to stay for dinner if she showed. It's become such a routine now that it would seem weird for us to say no to free food. I don't want any red flags.

I'm so anxious that I'm practically running to Faith's apartment until I realize it's warm out and I might just be a sweaty mess by the time I get there. That would definitely make this date a disaster before it even has a chance to get started.

When I get to her door I look myself over a little. We agreed not to do anything major so I picked out a cute little dress with matching sandals. Then again I'm a little nervous so I brought a bag with a change of clothes, too.

Really, really nervous.

I barely have a chance to knock before the door swings open and Faith is smiling on the other side. "Hey."


We just stare at each for a minute before Faith realizes she needs to let me in and steps aside. When I do I realize that it doesn't look like we're leaving to eat. There's a pizza box on the table in the kitchen and I'm willing to bet there's probably beer in the fridge.

I look at her with a raised eyebrow. "So no restaurant?"

Faith has this shy look on her face that I've never seen before. I don't think I've ever seen her look shy before. Shyness isn't really a Faith emotion. "I kinda thought we could eat here then catch a movie."

It's after she says what the plan is that I notice that she's been checking me out constantly since I walked in. Is that the first time she's done that or just the first time I noticed it? "Oh."

"Did you not want that?"

And now Faith looks even more nervous than I probably do. Not what I want. "No, no. It's fine." I hold up my bag, probably looking just as nervous. "I even brought more clothes in case we changed plans."

Faith laughs and starts to look more relaxed. "You are such a chick sometimes."

"Hey, you have all your clothes here if you need to change. I have to work with limited resources."

She walks up to me and carefully puts her arms around me. I can't help but smile at that because I have to admit I really like the feel of being in her arms. It makes me relax and maybe even a little safe. Such a great feeling to have.

"I'm happy you agreed to this." Faith leans in and lightly kisses me.

I kiss her back before we break away. "Me, too."

Faith moves away from me and gestures for me to sit. "Come on, the pizza just got here a few minutes ago. Don't want it to get cold."

It looks like she wants to pull out the chair for me but isn't sure if she should so in the end I do it myself while she opens the fridge door and takes out a couple of bottle of beer. I'm not much of a drinker so I hope she doesn't expect me to drink a whole lot tonight. Just one look at me would make anyone think I'm a lightweight when it comes to booze.

"Want a beer?" she asks. "I know you probably like the girly drinks but . . ."

"Sure," I interrupt before she starts to babble.

She grins and opens two bottles before sitting down across from me and we start to eat in silence. I can't help but glance at her from time to time and I have a feeling that she's doing the same.

"So is dinner at your apartment your way of getting out of half of a date?" I ask with a smile on my face. She is the one who said she didn't date. "Or do you just not wanna be seen with me?"

Faith chokes a little on her pizza at that remark. "No, no. I just thought that this was a little easier. This way we could talk about what movie you want to drag me to."

"I'm not sure I completely believe that but . . . okay."

"Whatever you wanna believe, B," Faith says. She laughs a little. "Sometimes you're just full of surprises, you know that?"

"What do you mean?"

"A few months ago all you would talk about when you were patrolling with me was slaying and maybe some of your drama with Angel. And that was if I was lucky 'cause if I asked about it you'd bite my head off."

"That's not true."

"A little bit," Faith insists. "I never thought you'd want to get any closer than that but here you are, on a date with me."

"Well," I start, "it really doesn't feel like a date yet."

She sighs. "Fine, next time there will be a restaurant involved. Something romantic and cheesy."

"There's going to be a next time?" I ask, raising an eyebrow. "We're about fifteen minutes into this one and you automatically assume there'll be another one?"

"I haven't even begun to show you my skills, B."

I blush at that. She always has had a way with words. "Well, I guess I'll have to see them sometime."

Faith only grins at me as she grabs another slice of pizza and continues to eat. I can't help but think about how she's changed since she first showed up in Sunnydale. Of course, she could also just be showing me a side that's always been there. Faith was a little guarded at first.

We eat in silence for another couple minutes before Faith stops and looks at me. "You're not doing this just to humor me or anything, right? 'Cause I told you I liked you and you only said you were confused."

I shake my head quickly. "No, that's not it." I take a breath and think. "It's kind of that I'm kind of afraid of it. You know . . . this." I gesture to the two of us.

"B, it's not like I'm gonna jump you at the end of the night." She smirks. "I mean, if you want to I'm game but from what I've seen you're not really that kind of girl."

When she gives me a little wink I laugh. She's doing so much to make sure I'm comfortable and in the end it's really not necessary. I know she's not going to push me to do something I'm not ready for. That's one of the reasons I'm perfectly happy going on a date with her.

"You know, I think you need to tell me what we're doing on the rest of this date."

Faith shrugged. "I thought we'd eat then see a movie. I think Giles'll get pissed if we skip patrol entirely so we probably need to go through a cemetery or two. Then I was thinking I'd walk you home 'cause it'll probably be late by then. For a second I was thinking we could go to the Bronze, too, but I don't want our date interrupted, you know?"

I nod because I know what she's getting at. If Willow and Oz are at the Bronze they'll want us to hang out with them and as much as I love my friends, it would pretty much kill the date. I'd much rather get to know Faith a little better. And not in the naked way she's probably thinking about: the fact she's so private makes me want to know everything about her.

"I know I should keep with the kind of first date lightness but I want to ask you stuff," I say carefully. "You said there wasn't much good and you've already told me some. Am I gonna ruin the mood if I actually ask you about yourself?"

Faith looks a little thoughtful before answering. "I guess you're not going the ruin the mood. Depends on what you ask though."

That seems almost like a challenge so I think about it first before I say anything. "Are you an only child?"

"Uh, yeah, I guess," Faith says but she furrows her brow a little as she says it.

"You guess?"

"That's the only answer I can give, B." Faith sets her pizza down and looks at me. "I'm pretty sure I'm my ma's only kid but who knows? She wasn't exactly a kid person so I could've had an older brother or sister in foster care or something. Since my dad left, he might have other kids that I'd never know about."

"Oh." Her answers are starting to leave me speechless. Her childhood was so different from mine.

I think I'm doing something weird with my face 'cause now she looks a little freaked. "Hey, I don't mean to freak you out or anything but that's kinda how I see it. My folks weren't the greatest people."

There's no way to follow up on that question. Now's one of those times that I wish I had some sort of cheat sheet so I knew which question to ask in which situation. I never know what to say and Faith seems to pick up on that.

"Okay, that ruined whatever moment we should've had here," she says as she chuckles nervously. "I think I need to clarify something."

"What's next?"

She smiles. "Up until this last year my life has pretty much sucked. Slaying saved me in more ways than one. I'm pretty sure I'd be in jail or dead if it wasn't for getting called and my first watcher. It changed my entire life for the better."

"We think differently on that." I sigh. "I always think that my life would have been better if I hadn't been called."

"I guess if you had something to miss out on it would suck. I really didn't."

The way Faith is looking at me is so sweet. Her eyes are so huge and bright. I've always thought she had the most beautiful brown eyes but they're also so expressive. Just looking at her I can tell she wants me to be here and that means so much.

"Okay," I start, "then I'll just ask this: what was your best memory from Boston?"

Faith smiles at the question. "The first day with my watcher. I was still pissed about everything and didn't really know what was going on but there was something about her that made me listen to her. Once she explained everything I knew this was the best thing that ever happened to me. I was part of something bigger. And then we started training and it was the best feeling ever."

I knew there was some good back in Boston. I only needed to wait for her to get more comfortable around me. At least, that's what I think she needed. It doesn't really matter though, only the result does. Both of us are smiling.

"I knew there were good times."

"Some," Faith agrees. "The rest . . ." she shrugs.

My pizza has sat on my plate untouched for awhile now and I push it aside to lean in toward Faith. "I wanna hear about all that, too, but we can start with the light stuff for now."

She nods. "I guess I'm cool with that for now." She pushes her empty plate aside and leans in, too. "What do you miss most from LA?"

Here I thought we were going to keep everything light tonight. Then again, I have a feeling none of my unpleasant memories can beat out whatever Faith has gone through. "I know you probably expect me to say my dad, right?"

"It crossed my mind." Faith grins and her hand starts to itch across the table. I wonder how long it will take her to get up the courage to actually take my hand. At the speed she's going at now we'll be here until midnight.

"It's not," I respond quietly and I feel bad admitting it. "I miss sleep."

That gets Faith to raise an eyebrow. "What?"

"In Sunnydale, nights are not my own. There's patrol and depending on how active the cemeteries are sometimes I'm out most of the night. I don't think I've had a good night's sleep since I got here." I pause. "In LA, I didn't have that responsibility so I could actually sleep whenever I wanted. I miss that."

Faith laughs a little. "I guess I never realized how little we sleep."

"I do, especially on school days."

And we have success! Faith lightly places her hand over mine. "But now you're in college. Now you have dorm rooms and more privacy," she says with a wink.

"I think there's plenty of privacy here."

Faith leans in and lightly kisses me, something I return easily. I'm not sure how she can manage to convey so much feeling in a kiss that almost chaste but I feel so much when her lips are against mine. Almost immediately I know how she feels for me and I wonder if part of that is because we're slayers. Giles is always talking about the fact we should have a connection but I never listened.

Maybe I should listen to him more, especially when he talks about ways I can feel Faith.

We break away from each other and Faith stands, beginning to clear the table. "We should get going if we want to see a movie."

I stand and try to help but mostly she motions that she can do it herself. "Do I get to pick this movie?"

She knows what the correct answer is and I think that's why she's narrowing her eyes at me. "Sure but you're not going to make me suffer, are you?"

Maybe a little torture can be fun. "We'll see."

There were two choices once we got to the theater: a romantic comedy and a horror flick.

Guess which one I picked?

When we got there I could tell immediately which one Faith wanted to go to. I mean, it doesn't take a genius to realize she's not a fan of the romantic comedies. But she did say I could pick and I kind of wanted to see how much say I had in this date.

The movie was horrendous but in the end that didn't matter to me. Well, it mattered to Faith since she muttered at every ridiculous line the actors phoned in. It was probably a good thing we sat in a corner of the theater so there wasn't many people around us. I'm sure we would have annoyed people otherwise.

Faith was really sweet the entire time, too. She bought the tickets then popcorn and sodas before leading us to a kind of secluded area so we could be by ourselves. By the time the lights went down her arm was around my shoulders and it wasn't long after that that I started to lean into her. It had been a long time since I'd had a good date and that's exactly what this has been.

"Next time you're gonna let me pick the movie, right?" Faith asks as we walk out.

"You've been picking practically every movie we watch at your place," I respond. "This one wasn't that bad."

She narrows her eyes at me. "You can pick the next five if you can remember the name of the movie we just saw without looking back and checking."

I open my mouth to respond but my mind is a complete blank. Sure, it wasn't memorable but I'm the one who picked it and I'm sure both lead actors said the title during it. Faith even commented on it and now I can't remember what it was. I blame that on Faith though. She kept being distracting me with how close she was and how close her lips would get to my ear every time she wanted to comment on the stupidity of the plot.

Since her grin gets wider the longer I'm silent I decide to stop trying. "Fine, you win."

"Knew it!" She laughs. "You just wanted to make me suffer by picking that crap."

"I did not," I say quickly. "I just thought it would be nice to not see someone get decapitated for one night. Don't we see that stuff enough every night."

Faith shrugs. "I guess you're right. I think they're amusing 'cause they're so fake. I mean, we know how it's supposed to look."

I nod but I don't see it that way. I try to get away from slaying as much as I can because there's a part of me who sees it as a burden, not a gift like Faith does. It's one thing where we have very differing opinions but at least now I understand why since Faith actually talked more about herself at dinner.

About two blocks away from the theater Faith takes my hand and I can feel some nerves when she does. It makes we think about what else she has planned but then again it's not like we're going to the Bronze or some other place.

No, we're heading for a cemetery. There's no off day in the life of a slayer.

"I know this isn't how you want a date to end or anything," Faith says quietly. "But you know Giles'll want an explanation if we don't. Besides . . . you can check me out while I take out some bad guys and you always look hot when you stake a vamp."

She's ends with a grin and I feel like a blush is about to come on so I look away from her to try and compose myself. When I look back she's still got the grin and I can see her dimples, too. It makes her look so cute.

"If this is a date then we've been dating for months now."

"Then we should be doing a lot more than just kissing."

When I look over at her she's got this smirk on her face and winks at me, making me laugh. "You don't know what the meaning of 'going slow', do you?"

Faith shrugs as we walk through the entrance of the cemetery. "You know I've never done this before. This might the first real date I've had, you know that."

I guess I do have to give her a little slack. There's a part of me that knows Faith would be more than happy to skip all the dating stuff and go straight to the sex. We've had that conversation before and at one point last year I know she commented that she didn't know what the purpose of relationships was. That's how I know she really must have feelings for me: she's trying to go slow.

"I know," I say quietly. "I think it's safe to say neither of us really knows what to do."

"So if we fuck up we'll be doing it together."

I laugh. "I think that sums it up."

We laugh at that and Faith stops us. She moves her hands up and down my arms lightly and when I look into her eyes I can see how happy she is. When she first showed up in Sunnydale she never looked like she was happy, like she wanted to be here and I can understand that. I've always treated this as my town and my mom's always said I've never been very good at sharing.

It's taken time but we eventually got to a good place and that was definitely needed to defeat the Mayor. I guess that good place also caused both of us to have feelings for each other. But Faith's better at figuring out what they mean I guess. She's the one looking like she wants to kiss me while I can't quite admit to what I'm feeling.

Faith leans in and gently presses her lips against mine. It's so careful, like she still thinks there's a chance I might push her away. That is the absolute last thing I'm thinking though. I'm mostly concentrating on how much I enjoy the feel of her lips. I can't even begin to describe it other than Faith is the only person who's ever kissed me like this. There's a certain amount of intimacy that I haven't felt during a kiss before.

When I start to respond to her she moves closer and I feel an arm lightly wrap around me. Nothing is hard or overpowering and when she moves in to the point we're pressed against each other there's still a softness about it. It's tentative and showing a sweet side of Faith I know she probably hasn't shown many others.

We break away from each other before either of us can deepen the kiss and I realize that I kind of wanted her to. I lean in and lightly kiss her again and I feel her tighten her arms around me.

"Who said a cemetery couldn't be a good make out spot?" she laughs.

"I do," I say as I move as far away as her arms will allow me. "I guess I got a little caught up in the moment."

"I'm more than okay with you doing that." Faith lets out a breath and lets me go. "But we should probably do some slaying before we end the night."

Since we went to the movie that I still can't remember the name of by the time we went through three cemeteries it was much later than it normally would have been so we decided to call it quits. That meant we couldn't do anything else either since it was too late so we ended up slowly walking toward my house.

This is where it feels a little awkward. In the last couple weeks when it's been late we've hung out at her place and a couple times I ended up sleeping on her couch. Now it would feel different to do that, especially since Faith's couch isn't exactly far away from her bed. Since we're trying out dating I don't know how me staying there would work.

It feels like Faith is a nervous about something like that, too, because she never even offered to have us hang out at her apartment after the last cemetery. Instead, she only took my hand again and started walking us in the direction of my house.

I have to admit there's something cute and adorable about Faith wanting to hold my hand.

"So . . ." Faith starts as we notice my house is only a couple blocks away.

"So . . ."

"You had a good time tonight, right?"

I smile at how Faith looks right now. It's a combination of nerves and something else. I think I can see how much she wants me. "Yeah, I really did."

"And that means we can do this again, right?" Faith smiles, one that shows her cute dimples.

I almost laugh to myself a little at the fact that I've been thinking about how attractive Faith is all night. I even want to kiss her right now and if I was being honest with myself, I've wanted to before tonight, too. "Yeah, I'd really like that."

We reach the front door and before I ask even ask if I'll see her in the morning she leans in and kisses me. There's a little more passion in this one than the others tonight but I think that's because she's getting more confident that my feelings are a lot like hers. I guess I'm finally starting to realize that.

Our arms are around each other within a couple seconds and when I give her an opening, she deepens the kiss, causing me to moan into her mouth quietly. Her tongue moves against mine and I never thought a kiss would make me go weak at the knees but this one does. It makes my mind think about what will happen when we do more than just kiss and that thought makes me need to hold onto Faith tighter.

When we break away from each other I'm out of breath but Faith sums everything up nicely. "Wow."


She gives me another light kiss before backing a step away from me. "I guess I should go." She smiles. "See you tomorrow, B."

I smile at her and realize there's a part of me that wants her to stay. Just a small part though and that part is drown out by my overwhelming fear of what would happen if I asked her. "Good night, Faith."

Faith's still smiling as she walks away and I know I'll probably fall asleep with a grin on my face.

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