The morning went okay. I think my mom liked the fact that I was staying at home for once and maybe ignored the fact that Faith stayed over. She didn't look like she suspected that anything else happened or is happening between us.
At least, I don't think so. I'm not sure how good I am at reading people anymore. How Faith felt did take me by complete surprise. Hell, I didn't realize how I felt about Faith right away so I can't even read myself.
Does that even make any sense?
My mom offered to make breakfast but Faith kind of made a hasty exit. Once she saw my mom in the kitchen maybe she got a little nervous or something. She just said she needed to shower and get some clean clothes and that she'd meet me at Giles' later. There wasn't even a mention of meeting at her place which is what I wanted to do.
If I didn't know any better I'd say she freaked a little.
There's a knock on the door as I'm getting ready to leave to meet her at Giles' and part of me really wants Faith to be the one knocking. Willow's on the other side though and I try my best not to look too disappointed.
"Expecting someone else?"
I narrow my eyes at the smirk on her face but smile as well. "I was hoping Faith would come back."
She laughs for a second before she fully understands what I said then her eyes go wide. "What do you mean 'come back'?"
I step aside to let her in and we walk to the living room. She sits on the couch and I sit next to her, knowing she wants all the details. "After we left the Bronze Faith walked me home . . . and she stayed the night."
"What? What happened?"
I sigh. "Nothing happened but I know she wanted something to more."
Willow looks at me with a raised eyebrow. "I don't mean to point out what should be obvious but that sounds weird, you know that right? I mean, don't you want something more to happen, too? It shouldn't be just Faith doing the wanting."
I think about that for a moment and she's right. I do want something more to happen but all the nerves still aren't going away. "Yes, I want something more. I'm just . . . I don't know what I'm doing, Will. I want Faith but I'm scared."
"Scared of what?"
That's also something I need to think about, mostly because I don't know how to say it. Not without getting embarrassed. "I don't know. Maybe it's that I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to disappoint."
I look away because I definitely know that I'm blushing but I feel Willow's hand on my shoulder. "I don't think you will. Faith's loves you. That's gotta count for something."
"Yeah." I know she's right. I feel it every time I'm with Faith. "I guess I just have to keep telling myself not to be scared."
Will nods and it feels good just to say that out loud. I know I have to get over my fear because it's an irrational one. The truth is that I'm falling in love with Faith just as much as she's falling in love with me. That's why I don't want to disappoint her.
I decide to change the subject and we start talking about college that's coming up way too soon and that has me nervous on a whole different level. It's also something that distracts from my relationship with Faith.
Then again, nothing can really distract me from Faith.
"I really hate nights where there's nothing to stake."
I look at Faith as we walk through the second cemetery of the night and smile. She's been complaining since there was nothing to stake in the first fifteen minutes and it's a little sad but I think it's kind of cute. Or maybe I just think she's cute.
She does have her skin tight leather pants on tonight.
"Maybe if we don't find anything at the next cemetery we can just call it a night."
Faith grins at me as she pulls me to her, an arm going around my shoulders. "You have something else in mind, B? Wanna go to the Bronze?"
When I look at her she has to know I don't want to go to the Bronze. As much as I love dancing with her and hanging out with Willow and Oz if they're there, I want her all to myself tonight. There's a part of me that feels tonight is the night and I don't want that feeling to go away.
After talking with Willow earlier I had a chance to really think about why I was scared. It's really embarrassing to be scared of this relationship, too, because I'm a slayer. If a vampire or demon came at me the last thing I am is scared. But this thing with Faith . . . well, I'm out of my element. That's why I'm scared.
"B?" Faith kisses the side of my head as we walk out of the cemetery. "You gotta stop thinking and give me an answer."
I smile. "Maybe not the Bronze tonight. We can just go to your place."
"Ah, you want me all to yourself."
She knows me so well. "Maybe."
"Yeah, you do." The smirk on her face is so confident but I don't comment on it.
Faith must think we're done slaying on that note because instead of walking toward the next cemetery that we normally go through she turns us the other way back toward downtown Sunnydale and her apartment. I almost want to say that we should check out one last cemetery but we haven't seen a vamp all night. There doesn't seem to be a point in wasting any more time on patrol.
"You hungry?" Faith asks quietly. "We can get some takeout before we go to my place."
We don't really talk the rest of the way but Faith keeps an arm around me, keeping me close. That action is making me all warm and tingly and I'm not sure if that's a slayer thing or just a Faith thing. I've never felt these kind of tingles before but I definitely like them.
When we get to the apartment we relax on the couch and Faith turns on the TV. "There's gotta something on."
I relax against her and my hand drops innocently on her thigh. "Maybe a movie?"
"Maybe," Faith mumbles and when I turn to look at her those big beautiful eyes they're staring at my hand. "B, I . . ."
My lips are on hers before she can finish her sentence and I know I've caught her off guard because she doesn't react right away. I keep trying to be the one to make the first move when we're like this and I'm hoping tonight my nerves will go away so we can go farther. That's why the phrase "Faith loves me" is repeating itself in my head.
Faith moves away after a few seconds and looks at me. I mean really looks at me before softly kissing me. That makes me fully turn to her and I feel her hands on me. She's trying to keep everything light and gentle, her hands lightly caressing whatever part of me they touch.
After a couple minutes, Faith deepens the kiss and I let out a quiet moan. She is such a good kisser that I think I could spend a lifetime kissing her and it wouldn't be enough. There's so much passion in it that it makes me lightheaded.
We keep kissing, only stopping when we need to take a quick breath before going right back to it. At the same time our position on the couch slowly moves so that eventually I'm lying down and Faith is hovering over me. Once we're like that my hands really start to move over her back, tentatively teasing with moving under her shirt.
When we break away to take another breath Faith's hand move to my cheek, cupping the side of my face. She doesn't say anything right away, only looks into my eyes like she's trying to see something. It's like she's looking for a sign.
Finally, I have to do something so I kiss her again. She responds to it but only for a moment. At first I think something's wrong because the next thing she does is to get off the couch, pulling me up in the process. Faith turns off the TV then looks at me again, smiling a little as she moves her hands up my arms to my shoulders then down my back where she pulls me close to her and rests her forehead against mine.
"I want you, Buffy."
My heart flips a little at that but I'm not able to find words. It's like my mouth doesn't work.
"There's nothing I want more," she whispers out. "You're everything to me."
My eyes are tearing up a little but it's not because I'm scared or that I don't want to. It's because I love Faith as much as she loves me and I think my nerves are finally going away. I take her hand and start to lead her toward the bed but she stops me.
"Wait, B," she says quietly. "I wanna hear you say it."
I took at her and she gives me the sweetest smile. "Yes," I barely get out, nodding slowly.
Her smile becomes a grin and she gives me a light kiss. "We'll go slow, okay? No need to rush."
With that said Faith keeps hold of my hand and we move away from the couch and toward the bed. After we take the step up Faith stops us and kisses me. It's slow and deliberate, like she's really trying her best to keep me calm so I don't run. I think we're past that point though. My nerves aren't completely gone but they're definitely not telling me to stop.
Faith brings her hands to the bottom of my shirt and she starts to pull it up. I move my arms to let her and then it's gone, Faith dropping it to the floor. She moves her hands over my arms and my bare stomach like she's trying to memorize it. Then she leans in to place light kisses along my neck and collarbone, causing me to close my eyes. The feel of her lips on my skin is indescribable. It feels like I'm floating.
I feel her hands reach around and unclasp my bra. Faith moves her lips up and kisses mine while pulling by bra off, dropping it on the floor next to my shirt. She moves away and looks me over, causing me to blush. Her eyes are so huge and expressive right now.
"You are so beautiful, Buffy." She starts to take her own shirt off but I stop her.
"I want to do that."
Faith grins. "Good 'cause I want you to."
She winks at me and I giggle quietly as I take off both her shirt and bra. Once they're both on the floor I look her over in the same way she did me. Faith really has an amazing body and now that I'm really feeling it, the softest skin. I move my hands over her flat stomach and then up to her shoulders and down her arms, avoiding her breasts for now.
They're a little intimidating to say the least.
While I'm concentrating on moving my hands over Faith I'm vaguely aware that she's unbuttoned my jeans and is oh-so-slowly pulling them down. When my eyes tear themselves away from what my hands are doing I notice she's smiling at me.
Faith kisses me but just when I want to deepen the kiss she moves away. "Let's get a little more naked, okay?"
My pants are off before I can even respond to that and I only really help get Faith's off. I wonder if she's starting to go faster, getting ahead of herself a little. When she told me how she imagined our first time together she said that she had to remind herself that she needed to go slow.
She kicks her pants off and pulls me into a loose embrace. I can feel her skin against mine for the first time and feels like my nerves on fire. There's a sort of electricity to it, like I just got a shock but a good kind. Something like that anyway.
"Yeah, baby?" she asks before giving me a sweet, light kiss.
Faith presses her hand against my cheek, caressing it lightly. "Absolutely . . . I want this to last all night."
It's lines like that that make me love her. I almost say it, too, but it seems like a bad time to say it, right before we have sex. Instead, I let her take my hand and lead us over to the bed where we lie down. Faith moves to hover over me and we kiss again but this time it goes from light to deep and passionate in next to no time.
While she props herself up she uses her spare hand to move over my body until it reaches my breasts. Then I feel her fingers start to play with a nipple and causes me to break the incredibly hot kiss we were sharing and moan out into the room.
"Damn, I love it when you do that," Faith says as she slips a leg in between mine. "I wanna keep making you do that."
"You're doing a good job so far," I almost sigh out as her skin rubs against mine.
"I think I can do better than that."
She starts her way down my body after saying that but it's painfully slow. Faith starts by kissing and licking down my neck, paying special attention to my pulse point. I moan out quiet at the action but realize that I can really be as loud as I want. It's not like I'm at home or anything.
Oh, crap. My mom. "Faith, wait."
I swear I hear her groan even though I bet she's trying real hard to be sweet. She kisses up my neck and places a soft kiss on my lips while running a hand up my side. "Are you okay, B?"
When I look into her eyes I can see she's trying hard not to get upset about stopping. "What if my mom comes looking for me? I didn't tell her I was staying here."
Faith smiles and it looks like there's a little relief behind it, knowing that I don't want to stop. "Your mom's not gonna come looking for you."
"Why do you think that?"
"Have you told her every time you've stayed here?" she asks quietly, a hand moving over my stomach as she does. I shake my head as she continues. "She knows you're safe with me."
I smirk at that. "I'm pretty sure she doesn't know your intentions."
We look at each other and both of us let out a laugh. It's a little unreal talking like this when we're in just our panties but I'm finally realizing that I'm comfortable with this, with Faith seeing me naked. Not only that, I'm more than okay with seeing Faith naked.
She leans down and starts where she left off before I interrupted her, starting by placing kisses along my collarbone. Without even realizing what I'm doing I hear myself start to let out little sighs as she kisses my skin. The combination of her soft lips and her hand moving over my body, almost massaging my skin, is making me unable to be silent.
There isn't a whole lot I can do in return as she really has all the control at this point. I want her to make her feel as good as she's making me but there's not many options. I can only opt to keep my hands on her however I can. They move over her skin slowly so I can really feel every part of her while her lips make their way to my breasts.
"Faith," I half sigh, half moan out at the first feel of her lips on a nipple. I can almost feel her smile before she starts to lightly suck.
My hands end up in her hair as she pays special attention to my breasts, kissing them and gently sucking on the nipples. By the time she starts to move further down I'm pretty much just moaning nonstop. The feelings she's giving me I've never really experienced before.
When Faith reaches my panties I get a little nervous but I try my best not to show it. She looks up at me and when our eyes meet she smiles.
"You're amazing," she whispers before slowly taking off my panties and dropping them to the floor.
I think she's going to move back up to me but instead she moves off the bed and stands next to it. Faith keeps eye contact with me as she takes off her own panties before sitting down next to me. I prop myself up on the bed with my elbows as she places a hand against my cheek.
There's a silence between us and I wait for Faith to say something. It feels like she wants to but right when I think she will she moves back on the bed, lying next to me. We kiss again and it's starts light and sweet but it doesn't stay that way. Soon her tongue's exploring by mouth and she moves more on top of me, slipping a leg between mine.
We only break apart to take a quick breath and then we're kissing again. I can feel just how wet she is as she moves against my thigh and as she moves into me, there's no doubt that she can feel the same. Her thigh is hitting me just right, too.
Of course, she moves away just enough but that's when I finally realize her hand's been making its way down my body. The moment her fingers touch my clit I break away from her lips and let out a moan. Faith only starts to place kisses on my neck up to my ear.
"You have no idea how good it feels for you to be against me," she says in between kisses.
"I think I do," I manage to get out. I turn my head to face her and we kiss again as her fingers start to explore.
Even though Faith's doing everything she can to distract me, I don't want to be that person that just lies there. I try to keep my hands moving over her, trying to feel every inch of her even though it's getting hard. My senses are kind of on overdrive.
Faith slowly pushes a finger into me just then and I let out a sound that I have never let out before. I think it's kind of combination of a squeal and a moan but it doesn't last long because Faith's kissing me again. It feels like she's trying her best to make me feel both comfortable and amazing.
Her finger stills for a moment, letting me adjust, before it starts a slow rhythm. At the same time I feel her moving against my thigh, her juices just coating it. It's not long before my hips move with her and even though I don't want it, I think I'm going to be coming sooner than I want.
Faith kisses me lightly then rests her forehead against mine. "You okay?" She waits for me to slowly nod then kisses me again. "I love you, Buffy."
We're kissing again before I can say anything back. I want to tell her that I love her, too, and that I have long before tonight. Instead, all I can do is moan into her mouth as we move against each other.
When we break apart to attempt to catch our breath, I finally manage to get something out even if it's not exactly what I want to say at the moment. Or what I want to have happen either. "I'm . . . I'm so close already."
"Come for me, baby."
She speeds up just that little bit more and moves her full lips over to my ear. Faith whispers in my ear as she continues to move, little things like how beautiful she thinks I am and that she loves everything about me. All things that only make me more turned on and I didn't even think that was possible right now.
It isn't too much longer after that that I come with a scream, gripping Faith tightly as I do. She thrusts against my thigh a few more times and then I feel her coming, too. I can't exactly describe the feeling I get as she continues to move into me, letting me ride out my orgasm. It's more than just love, I know that, but I can't place it.
I really need to stop thinking.
Faith seems to remind of that without even knowing it because as we start to come down she starts kissing me again. It's more soft and tender than passionate now. I can feel that she loves me with each kiss.
After a minute she removes her finger from me and I let out an involuntary sigh. That gets a smile out of her and she wraps an arm around me before rolling us so she's on her back and I'm mostly resting on her. We look into each other's eyes and Faith smiles.
I can feel the blush almost instantly and I feel the need to hide but there really isn't a place to do that. Faith seems to know what I want to do since she places a hand lightly on my chin so I can't look away. "I really didn't do anything," I say quietly.
"Not true," she says. "You're here with me, getting rested for more. We're just beginning here."
"Really?" I smile and feel my blush start to go away. "I love you, Faith."
The grin on her face is gigantic the moment I say it. "Love you, too, Buffy." She kisses me gently as her hands move over my back. "I haven't even begun to show you how much."
We start kissing again and I wonder if I'm going to get any sleep tonight.
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