Disclaimer: These characters are not mine and I make no money off this.
Summary: Post-Chosen. Buffy tries to stop Faith from leaving.
A/N: This will possibly develop into a longer fic.
"'Cause I couldn't leave it like this."
"You just want the last word again? I thought you already got it when you started yelling at me and returned to your old bitchy self."
"So now you're throwing insults. How very adult of you, Faith."
"I think you're the one who keeps calling me a child and that I'm running away from whatever. Really I'm just acting how you told me to."
"Can we at least talk about what I said before you go?"
"Like you really meant it. What was that anyway? Gotta say something that gives me just one more knife in the gut before I go?"
"Of course, I meant it, Faith. Why would I say something like that and not mean it and why would it be another knife in the gut for you anyway?"
"No whatevers this time. God, you keep saying you've changed, it's like your fucking mantra, but you're really the same. You run from everything. That's not changing. That's just running from what you're afraid of. Kinda uncharacteristic for a slayer, huh?"
"What the fuck do you know about it, B? You don't know the first fucking thing about me, no one else does either. No one's ever cared enough. So yeah, 'whatever' is all I have to say about that."
"That's not true. You just wanna think that for whatever insane reason you thought up but no matter what you think I meant what I said."
"Even the part where you called me a selfish child who was scared of my own shadow?"
"That and everything else, too. If you weren't so set on running things could've been different, with us, with everything."
"You are so full of it I don't know how you can stand yourself sometimes, B. If I stayed, everything would stay the same and that's how you want it."
"Stop this, Faith! I meant everything I said and if you weren't so damn pigheaded you'd see that I mean it. That I've felt this way for a long time."
"So you really think you mean it? You've really convinced yourself of that?"
"You could look me in the eyes and see it but, Faith, I don't think you want to. I think you never want to see anything like that."
Buffy heard a click and knew she'd lost Faith, probably forever.
She couldn't believe this was happening.
A week ago Faith announced to everyone that she was going out on her own. She was done with the new Council and the new slayers and everything else. She even said she could do more good on her good than the rest of them would with the Council and slayer training.
Buffy was sad to see her go and everyone else was, too. At least, they were at first. Faith did her best over the last week to burn all her bridges with the gang and with Buffy, too. It seemed like she was trying her best to alienate everyone there. She'd even gotten into a fight with Kennedy a couple days ago that had come to blows. Buffy and a couple of the young slayers had to separate them.
Last night was supposed to be Faith and Buffy's last night of slaying together. For Buffy that meant it was her last night to be honest with the other slayer and attempt to convince her to stay.
It didn't go as she hoped. They talked for a little while, mostly little comments here and there and Buffy trying to get Faith to at least say where she was going. She wasn't even telling anyone that and Buffy thought she was telling everyone off so that when there was an emergency no one would even think of trying to find her and asking for help. It seemed like something she would do.
When the small talk wasn't working Buffy finally decided to be honest with Faith, something she'd never done. She told Faith that she'd always wanted to be more than friends, that she thought she might even love her. The other slayer did what Buffy should have expected: she didn't believe her. They got into a huge fight that ended in a screaming match and the two of them walking away from each other.
She'd tried to make it better. The intent in calling Faith was to let her know that even after everything that was said and all the bad things that had happened between them, she was being honest when she admitted her feelings. Of course, Faith still didn't believe her.
Buffy sat in a chair next to the window of her small apartment and tried to will the tears not to fall. Just like Faith, they didn't listen to her and soon she could barely see out the window through the tears that fell. After a few minutes, she even started to sob.
Faith was supposed to stay. After everything in Sunnydale and now in Cleveland, there was no reason for her to go. Sure, she chose to live away from everyone else and didn't always like to show up to meetings but she showed up when it counted and she got along with everyone. She'd been good friends with Kennedy and a couple other girls and she'd gotten close with Buffy. They patrolled and taught together and hung out. It was starting to be like they'd never tried to kill each other in the past.
As far as Buffy knew, everything was fine. Nothing major had changed in training or with the girls or even between the two of them. Faith suddenly just said she wanted to leave. She didn't even give a legitimate reason for leaving.
Buffy looked at the phone in her hand and for a moment thought about throwing it as hard as she could against the wall. That stupid phone had hardly helped her today. The urge passed after a minute but was only replaced with sadness.
She didn't know what she would do without Faith. She'd helped with everything that mattered since they'd set up headquarters and now she was leaving everything with Buffy. It felt so huge and she didn't know if she was ready to handle everything by herself. It felt like too much.
Sniffling a little, Buffy looked at the phone and thought about calling Willow. She had talked to her before going out on patrol with Faith last night and her friend knew what Buffy had planned to do. She had warned her that the tactic probably wouldn't work, that Faith would leave no matter how Buffy felt about her, but she had wanted to try anyway. Now she thought she should always listen to Willow.
She didn't know how long she was sitting in the chair, staring at the phone, but the hard knock on her front door made her jump. She blinked away some of the tears still falling from her eyes and set her phone down in the chair before walking over to the door. Whoever was on the other side loudly knocked again as she walked and Buffy sighed, not knowing if she could deal with another bad incident today.
Buffy opened the door quickly, her mouth open to yell at whoever was not only trying to knock a hole in her door but also hadn't even been buzzed in, but she didn't get that far. In a second, she was being kissed and kissed hard.
Faith's arms were around her, keeping her pressed against her, and Buffy heard her kick the front door closed as she pushed her way into the small living room. Her lips were pressed against hers so hard it was almost bruising but Buffy could barely process what was happening. Faith was doing an excellent job distracting her.
After a minute, Buffy broke away from an insistent Faith to breathe. She hadn't exactly been prepared for the onslaught of kissing that Faith had unleashed so she began gasping for air as soon as she broke away. She also needed to regain her balance as the other slayer was pushing her way into the apartment with her arms wrapped tightly around her, not always letting her move as she did.
As Buffy gasped away, Faith kissed and sucked on her neck, continuing to move them into the apartment and toward the couch. She wasn't waiting for Buffy to pick up her feet and move with her either, almost dragging her as she moved. Buffy had to hang onto her at that, knowing if she tried to separate herself from Faith at this point she'd fall.
"Faith," she finally managed to gasp out, finally being able to plant her feet as she did. "What . . ."
She stopped what she was saying as Faith lifted her head up and looked at her. She stared deep into her eyes and Buffy knew exactly what she was looking for. She knew she was looking to see if Buffy was telling the truth.
Buffy looked right back at her, hoping that everything she felt was right there in her eyes. If that wasn't enough, she wasn't sure with Faith, she took a hand off Faith's back and placed it gently against her cheek. She wanted to say something, maybe tell her again how she felt, but knew that wouldn't help the situation. Faith needed to see it for herself or everything would be lost.
A couple minutes went by, though if felt like longer, and Buffy really wanted to say something. She knew by the way Faith was still holding onto her that she hadn't convinced herself that Buffy was lying about everything. Buffy knew that's exactly what Faith was doing, too. She wasn't trying to see how much Buffy cared for her. She was trying to convince herself that there was nothing in her eyes.
When another couple minutes came and went Buffy couldn't take the silence anymore. She leaned in and kissed her as softly as she could. There was no response to the kiss at first and Buffy knew Faith wasn't expecting it. Slowly though she felt Faith's lips move against her and she couldn't stop the smile that formed as they continued to kiss.
Faith must have realized what was happening again as she started to move them toward the couch again. Buffy let her do it but wondered what exactly the other woman was expecting. Right now, the only thing on her mind other than that Faith was a great kisser was that she was still leaving.
The kissing became deeper and more passionate as they reached the couch and crashed onto it, Faith sitting and Buffy straddling her. Buffy broke away once they landed, again gasping for breath.
"What are you doing here?" she asked between gasps.
"Shouldn't you have asked me that when I came in? Faith asked back, a prominent smirk on her face.
"I don't think you gave me much chance." Buffy smiled as ran a hand through Faith's hair. She thought for a second about moving off her but their position felt oddly comfortable, not to mention she liked that Faith's arms were still around her and her hands were moving slowly over her back. "I wouldn't have expected that anyway. The way you hung up on me I thought if you showed up it'd just be to kick my ass."
"Nah," Faith said slowly, moving a hand down to her ass, "I like your ass too much to kick it."
Buffy laughed. "I'm confused."
Faith responded with a sigh and moved Buffy off her, sitting her down next to her on the couch. "After everything I've said to everyone in the last week, I thought you were getting back at me when you said all that. I thought you were fuckin' with me."
"I wasn't." She paused. "I don't get why you'd think that was my way of fucking with you."
"B, really?" Faith laughed as she shook her head. "I guess everyone but you knows how I feel about you."
"You have feelings for me?"
"I'm fuckin' crazy about ya, B," Faith said and Buffy could tell she was being honest with her. It was like she was finally letting down her guard after all these years. "Everyone knew it and I thought you did and didn't feel the same and that's why I never acted on it." She laughed. "That fight with Kennedy? She said I was leaving 'cause I realized I'd never see you naked."
Buffy shook her head. "I can't believe I didn't see it. I always thought you only wanted to try being friends. I wanted to work with you all the time 'cause I liked being with you. I looked forward to it."
"A little late to be saying that, ya know? I'm supposed to leave in the morning."
"Why?" Buffy furrowed her brow, not understanding why Faith had even come to her apartment if she was still going to disappear from her life. "Why are you leaving?"
Faith shrugged. "I felt I needed to move on."
"No," Buffy said strongly. "No, you cannot come here and do this and leave. Then you're the one fucking with me."
"I do like all this talk of fucking." Faith's grin left as Buffy punched her hard in the shoulder. "Ow!"
"This isn't funny. You can't come here and tell me you feel the same and then leave. I don't even know where you're going."
"That makes two of us," Faith said, moving a little closer to Buffy and putting an arm around her. "I'm just leaving."
Buffy leaned in and rested her forehead against Faith's. "We need to figure this out, Faith. If you don't have anywhere you need to be then you can stay."
"I kinda wanted to strike out on my own, ya know?" Faith gave her a light kiss before continuing. "Besides, I doubt anyone's wanting me to stay now. I tried my best to piss everyone off so no one would come after me."
"I knew that's what you were doing," Buffy said quietly. "They'll get over it."
"I don't have a place to stay either," Faith challenged. "I gave up my apartment and put all my stuff in storage."
Buffy thought for a second, knowing exactly what she wanted to do but didn't want Faith to get the wrong impression. She wanted Faith to stay so she could see exactly what they felt for each other but she was nervous. She didn't want to jump right in.
"I have an extra bedroom," she offered, her nerves showing in her voice. "You could stay here until you find another place."
Faith smirked and pulled Buffy as close as she could without pulling her onto her lap. "We're gonna need an extra bedroom?"
"One thing at a time," Buffy said, smirking. "Will you stay so we can work this out?"
She looked away from her then and Buffy didn't know if that was a good thing. She knew Faith wasn't good at trusting others but she had trusted her enough to come over and see if she was telling the truth. That had to count for something.
"I guess we could try," she finally said so quietly Buffy didn't know if she was even meant to hear. Faith turned back to her. "I can't promise I'll stay for long."
Buffy only smiled and kissed her, not knowing how else to respond. She knew Faith didn't want to make any promises because she was still unsure but she was okay with that. She felt a little of the same. There was something she couldn't shake though, something that told her there was more to her and Faith than she realized.
Now that Faith was staying, she could find out what that was.
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