Losing Control
by Hayley

Title: Losing Control

Rating: NC17

Pairing: Buffy/Faith

Disclaimer: These characters are not mine and I make no money off this.

Summary: Faith arrives in Sunnydale during Buffy's senior year. Buffy's not all that comfortable with her arrival but for reasons no one else suspects.

Chapter One

Buffy slowly walked up to her house, letting out a small sigh as she walked along the sidewalk. Her shoulders were slouched and the way she moved showed both her exhaustion and how much her thoughts were weighing her down. It seemed everything right now was making her tired.

She opened the front door quietly and walked in, trying to shut it just as quietly so she wouldn't wake her mother. Buffy knew she was probably awake anyway, having just found out about the slaying a few short months ago, but she didn't want to acknowledge her mother's issues with her calling, at least not right now. She had bigger problems to worry about, more important ones.

Buffy knew that made her out to be a bad daughter but her mind was too preoccupied on her night. She had set everything up so it would be a normal night, one where she could just hang with her friends and forget about everything that had happened over the summer when she ran from Sunnydale and all its complications. To forget, to erase the last couple months from her mind, was something she wanted to do more than anything right now.

The night made her forget all that but for very different reasons. After a short patrol, she went to the Bronze to meet up with her friends. She hung out and relaxed for awhile, loving the feel of not having a care in the world, and was starting to feel like everything would be normal for a change. As normal as it got for her anyway but soon her attention was drawn to the dance floor.

She knew before she even looked up that someone on the dance floor was looking at her, staring at her. At first, she thought it was maybe the guy Willow tried to set her up with, Scott Hope, but she couldn't see him anywhere. Instead, she only saw a teenage girl. She was probably around her age and it was safe to say she was the exact opposite of Buffy, looks-wise anyway. She was wearing tight, revealing clothes and her dark, wavy hair was complimented by dark makeup. It was odd but Buffy couldn't help but think there was more to this girl, especially with the way she was staring at her.

Buffy didn't really know what to think of the situation and simply looked at her for a moment, watching her dance to the music as the girl was distracted by someone dancing near her and wasn't looking toward Buffy. She wasn't even sure she should mention it to her friends, not knowing how to bring it up. It wasn't as though someone looking at her was exactly newsworthy.

Then her eyes met the girl's for the first time and Buffy felt something course through her. It was a rush, almost electric and something she only truly felt while slaying, and it made her a little uncomfortable. Something about the feeling wasn't right yet was familiar as well. Familiar in all the wrong ways.

Buffy suddenly felt a little flushed and thought she might be blushing from the slayer-like feeling she was experiencing. Excusing herself from her friends, she walked to the bathroom, wanting to calm herself. She couldn't understand why she would be so worked up but she'd never felt that kind of rush by simply looking into someone's eyes like that, not even Angel's. It wigged her out a little.

Once she got to the bathroom, she leaned over a sink and tried to clear her mind, splashing some water on her face in the process. It took a minute but soon Buffy felt more at ease, figuring whatever happened was just one of those things she couldn't explain and didn't want to give it any more thought. It was threatening to ruin her stress-free night.

She looked up at the mirror as the bathroom door opened and the girl walked in. She gave Buffy a little grin, one that showed prominent dimples, and stood in front of the now closed door.


Buffy turned around and only looked at her for a moment before saying anything. Simply looking at her made her forget how to speak for a couple seconds. "Hey."

The dark haired girl took a couple steps closer to her. "Wicked out there, huh?"

Buffy shrugged, still not sure why she was talking with this stranger in the bathroom of all places. It didn't feel like one of those "does my hair look okay?" type of conversations. "I guess."

The girl continued to grin at Buffy as she stepped closer. Buffy, however, didn't step back or do anything as the gap between them slowly closed. She wondered why she wasn't doing anything and if there was a part of her that didn't want to move. She kept thinking, doing nothing else, as the other girl closed the gap between them and pressed her lips against her own.

It shocked her at first, the action being the last thing she expected, but before she knew it she was responding to the kiss. She felt the other girl's hands on her arms, pulling her a little closer, and pressing her lips harder against Buffy's and her only instinct was to respond.

Buffy's brain seemed to have shut down because she couldn't think and couldn't pull away. She could feel herself putting her hands on the other teen and could feel herself part her lips when she felt the girl wanted to deepen the kiss. Buffy could feel their tongues duel and deep down knew a part of her would want this to go further. She only let their actions last a couple minutes, however, before her brain kicked in and she broke away, taking a step back to keep some distance between her and the other girl.

"I, uh . . ." she managed to get out as her mind went blank as she looked into her eyes again. "I gotta go."

Buffy had quickly left the bathroom and without another thought, left the Bronze, too. She didn't want to explain to her friends why she felt so uneasy and probably looked that way and more. They would ask too many questions and she didn't want to have to come up with a believable lie.

Now that she was home she just wanted to get some sleep without having to talk to anyone. She didn't know why she let that girl kiss her. She had no idea who she was, if she'd ever see her again, anything. Shaking her head, Buffy only sighed and quickly changed. She got into bed, quickly falling asleep but with thoughts of her night in her head.

Buffy walked down the hall toward the library of Sunnydale High just as slowly as she'd walked home the night before, not finding the strength she needed to go any faster. She couldn't get all the kissing at the Bronze out of her head. Everything about it was so unlike her.

She wasn't the type of person to do something so impulsive and certainly didn't make a habit of kissing strangers in bathrooms, especially not other girls. The whole night felt like something out of the twilight zone and that was the main reason she couldn't get it out of her head. Buffy kept thinking it over as she continued to trudge along, so lost in her thoughts that she jumped when Willow tapped her on the shoulder as she reached the library.

"Sorry, Buffy," she said as she lowered her head slightly and gave her an apologetic nod. "Why'd you bail last night?"

"Oh, yeah," Buffy responded, suddenly remembering she didn't even say goodbye to her friends when she had left the night before. "Sorry 'bout that. I wasn't feeling well."

Willow smiled, accepting the vague explanation without any further questioning. "No worries."

The pair pushed through the library doors and saw Giles speaking with a girl at one of the tables. At first Buffy thought it was just someone who needed help with a book or something, but her eyes went wide as she realized it was the same girl from the Bronze. Her clothes were still as tight as the previous night but everything else about her was more subdued, possibly due to being at the school. She wondered if she was maybe a new student or something then went to hoping the other teen wouldn't bring up the previous night.

The watcher and the girl, who noticed Buffy and starting grinning, looked up as the library doors swung shut. Giles stood up and straightened his clothes, clearing his throat as he did.

"Buffy, good of you to come by before class. There's someone I'd like you to meet," he said, gesturing to the girl, who stood up next to him. "This is Faith. She's also a vampire slayer."

"There's another one?" Willow asked, her tone showing her curiosity in how he would answer.

Giles nodded. "Not so much as another one as the one who was called after Kendra . . ."

"Died," Buffy finished for him. She frowned at the memory and looked down for a moment, remembering the other slayer and the events that led to her death. She still hadn't quite gotten over how Kendra died and had yet to fully deal with the events surrounding it. She took a breath and looked up, noticing Faith walking toward her.

"Nice to finally meet the legend," she said in an upbeat, accented voice and held out her hand.

Buffy looked at the hand for a second before realizing everyone was looking at her, waiting for her to make a move. She looked back up at Faith and shook her hand, feeling the strength in her grip and the unlikely softness of her skin. Her fellow slayer's eyes seemed so bright as their eyes met but Buffy could tell there was something else going on with her as well.

She let go of Faith's hand and looked over at her watcher. "Meeting a colleague is great and all, but is there a reason why Faith's here? Is there a slayer meeting you didn't tell me about?"

Giles walked behind the front desk and started shifting some papers around, not looking at Buffy as he spoke. "It seems Faith is without a watcher."

"She dumped me," Faith clarified, looking at Buffy and Willow with the smallest of smiles.

Giles didn't react to Faith's comment, only continued with his explanation. "And since I have experience dealing with one . . . stubborn slayer . . ."

"That'd be me," Buffy put in, smirking.

"The council decided to send Faith here until they are able to find a suitable replacement," Giles finished.

Willow looked over at Faith. "What do you mean she 'dumped' you?"

Faith shrugged. "She liked giving orders and I don't like following them, not if I don't like 'em anyway."

"You'll get along great with Buffy then," Willow commented with a smile and looked to her best friend then back at Faith. "I'm Willow."

Faith shook her hand while smirking at Buffy. "I'm sure we'll get along."

Buffy opened her mouth to say something but the sound of the bell stopped her. She met Faith's eyes as the other slayer was looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "Darn the luck. We have to go to class."

"Buffy, come back here after your last class. We need to go over your patrol so you can show Faith all of the cemeteries."

"Goody," Buffy mumbled as she walked out of the library, Willow following behind her.

The school day flew by for Buffy in spite of the fact she didn't want to meet up with Giles and Faith after school. She was dreading it.

Unless she had completely hallucinated the previous night, or part of it anyway, Faith was definitely the girl she had made out with in the bathroom. She certainly didn't expect to see her the next day, had hoped she wouldn't, and was floored to see her in the library talking to her watcher. It made her wonder what Faith had told him, if she had said anything about meeting her before this morning.

The only part Buffy was relieved about was that Faith didn't say anything before class about seeing her at the Bronze. She thought for a moment that might happen given the way she kept grinning at her but she didn't say a word about it and for that Buffy was grateful.

After her last class, she went quickly to the library, wanting to get the meeting or whatever it was over with. She let out a sigh in an attempt to prepare herself and pushed open the door to find Xander talking with Faith. She could instantly tell he was trying his best to impress her and it looked like Faith was trying her best to look impressed.

"I'm like Buffy's right hand man, really," he said with a grin, standing a little straighter. "Slaying is more of a team sport here. Me and Will are the support crew, the backup. And Oz and Cordy, too."

"I don't know if I'd go that far," Buffy said, grinning at Xander as she walked toward the pair.

Xander gave her a mock shocked look. "Now I'm hurt."

"Only kidding," Buffy said quickly as she looked at Faith then back at Xander. "Where's Giles?"

"He's at some meeting," Faith put in, causing Buffy to look to her again. "He said he'd be back in a few minutes."

Buffy nodded, uncomfortable at how both Faith and Xander were staring at her expectantly. "Have you been here all day?"

"Nah," Faith said, shaking her head. "I walked around town for awhile. Trying to get a feel for the place, yunno?"

Buffy nodded again, not knowing what to say with Xander there. After a minute of slightly uncomfortable silence, she turned to her friend with a smile. "Hey Xand, can you give us a minute? Faith and I need to go over some slayer things."

Xander gave her a confused look but nodded nonetheless. "Sure, Buff. See ya, Faith."

Faith only gestured toward him and watched him leave the room before turning to Buffy with a smirk. "Bet you didn't think you'd ever see me again."

Buffy scowled, instantly thinking the worst of the other slayer due to the smirk on her face. "Did you know who I was last night?"

Faith shook her head. "Nah." When Buffy narrowed her eyes at her, she held up a hand. "Swear to God, B, no idea. You're not that big of a legend."

Buffy hesitantly considered the claim, not knowing the other teenager well enough to know if she was being truthful. She couldn't read her at all and the only thing she was getting from Faith right now was a cocky expression anyway, like she knew just how nervous she was making her and loved every second of it. Buffy didn't say anything and after a minute, Faith spoke up.

"You don't believe me, do you?"

"I don't even know you," Buffy said coldly.

Faith looked at her, brow furrowed. "No, you don't."

Buffy opened her mouth to respond, not liking where the conversation was going and wanting to finish it fast, when the library doors swung open and Giles walked through. Both slayers turned to him, neither looking very happy, but if the watcher noticed he didn't say anything.

"Good, you're both here," Giles said as he walked into his office quickly and walked back out with a cloth to clean his glasses. He took them off and cleaned them for a moment before looking up at the two slayers. "Buffy, I think it will be best if you completed an extended patrol tonight, try and cover as much ground as you can."

"Why? Did you read about some sort of evil prophecy that will just happen to take place in Sunnydale? You know, sometimes reading is bad for you, Giles," Buffy commented and gave him a look, knowing he knew that was the exact opposite of what she wanted to hear. "Extended" and "patrol" should never occur in the same sentence as far as she was concerned.

"No, the sooner Faith becomes acquainted with Sunnydale and all the cemeteries, the sooner the two of you can do separate patrols, that's why," Giles responded, giving her a look that showed he thought she should have thought of the same thing.


"You should start early as well."

"I have dinner with Mom and I have to study, ya know. Don't want me to flunk out after I just got back, do you, Giles?"

"I can just meet up with B later in the night. I'll be five by five on my own," Faith put in. She had her hands in her pockets and was looking like she wanted to be elsewhere or at least, nowhere near the conversation.

"No, I'd rather you patrolled with Buffy until you have more knowledge of the area," Giles insisted.

Buffy sighed, knowing what she should do and not liking it at all. Right now she didn't want to be the nice, thoughtful person she knew she should. "Faith can come along with me. You know, dinner and all that."

Faith nodded, a barely noticeable smile on her face. "Cool."

"So it's settled," Giles said, looking at both of them. "Let me know if you encounter anything out of the ordinary."

Buffy had already begun to walk toward the library doors, Faith following behind her. "Always do."

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Chapter One || Chapter Two || Chapter Three || Chapter Four || Chapter Five || Chapter Six || Chapter Seven || Chapter Eight || Chapter Nine

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