Somewhere Down The Road
When Giles leaves for England for a month and takes Dawn and Andrew with him to work on some Council business, Faith can’t help but notice how empty the house feels. Sure, Kennedy and Willow are there, and Xander is busy puttering around and making himself busy, but it’s quiet. Too quiet. And she guesses that she’s not the only one feeling the emptiness too, seeing as that Buffy has been unusually quiet and distant the last four days since they’d left for their trip.
She finds Buffy sitting on the porch one evening at sunset, beer bottle in hand as she gazes out at the horizon. If Buffy hears her approach, she doesn’t say anything. She continues looking out in the distance even as Faith sits down next to her with her legs dangling off the side, just an inch or two of space between them.
Faith doesn’t say anything; she knows that if Buffy has something on her mind, she needs to be the one to bring it up. Until then, Faith will just be there for her, as much as Buffy will let her.
“Do you ever think about the future?” Buffy asks, her gaze still focused on the horizon as it glows orange and red.
Faith shrugs. “Kinda really enjoying the now too much.”
“I think about it all the time,” Buffy admits. She steals a sidelong glance at Faith but immediately looks back off into the distance. “I never thought I’d have a real future, but now I do. We all do. Dawnie is growing up into a beautiful person, and one day she’ll find someone and spend the rest of her life with him. Willow and Kennedy, they’re gonna make it. They’re gonna have a great life. Xander . . . he’s a work in progress. He hasn’t found what he wants yet, but when he does, he’ll be amazing.”
“You’ve got great friends and fam, babe,” Faith agrees.
“I really do,” Buffy says with a smile. But then the smile fades and her eyes well up with tears that she doesn’t let fall. “And one day, they’re all gonna leave. I’ve never been alone. It’s . . . terrifying.”
Faith reaches over and Takes Buffy’s hand in hers. She brings it up to her lips and kisses her knuckles, trying to offer a small bit of comfort.
“They’re always gonna be with ya in one way or another, B. And you’re kinda forgetting about me. Where you go, I go. You ain’t gonna get rid of me that easy.”
Buffy blinks and looks over at her, staring into her face. Faith smiles and gives her a little wink, hoping to get a smile back. Unfortunately, she doesn’t.
“What if it doesn’t work out? What if you get sick of me or it we start fighting a lot? God, what if we grow apart and just stop caring like one of those old couples that are miserable for the rest of their lives?”
“Those are a lotta what if’s,” Faith says with a nod. She looks off into the distance and can feel Buffy looking at her.
Beside her Buffy takes a shaky breath, a tear finally slipping from her eye and down her cheek.
Faith waits a moment and hops down off the porch, then turns and faces Buffy. She nudges Buffy’s knees apart and steps between them, then closes her fingers around the back of Buffy’s calves and pulls her right to the edge. Buffy looks at her, tears steadily slipping from her eyes. There’s only an inch or two between them and when Faith lays her hands on the wooden porch planks on either side of Buffy’s hips, Buffy has to take a deep breath because of the intensity of Faith’s gaze.
“I never loved anyone in my life besides you, Buffy. That night when you let me kiss you for the first time . . . I thought I could die happy right then and there cos I was sure that life wasn’t gonna get any better than that for me. But I was wrong. It gets better every day. We might bump heads now and again, probably always will. Sometimes that’s just what happens when two people are so crazy in love. We have passion, and it might not always come out in the sanest of ways, but it’ll never go away. So I guess you’re right,” Faith says, nodding her head a little, “Red and Ken might move away some day. Dawnie’s gonna marry some stud-muffin and have her own life. Xander? He probably will too. Not the stud-muffin part, but . . . yunno what I mean.”
Buffy lets out a little chuckle at that, and Faith continues.
“But me? Not goin’ anywhere. My place is with you and it’s always gonna be. So yeah, to answer your question, I do think about the future sometimes. And when I do? I always see you.”
Suddenly Buffy’s arms are wrapped around her neck and clinging so hard that Faith can barely breathe. It doesn’t bother her though and she wraps her arms around Buffy’s back, pulling her even closer.
“Thank you,” Buffy whispers, her tears soaking through Faith’s shirt.
Faith smiles and rests her head against Buffy’s, breathing in deeply.
“No, B. Thank you.”
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