Summary: Eliza really likes guys, y'all.
Disclaimer: This is a real person fic. It is a complete work of fiction made up by my silly mind. It never happened; it's fake. Eliza Dushku and Sarah Michelle Gellar are real people with real lives that are different than what I portray here. This is for entertainment purposes only and should only be read as that. All other people in this fic are fake and took no part in this fake setup.
NOTE: Okay guys, we need to stop harassing Eliza about Fuffy and Sariza because she likes guys. She definitely likes guys. If you WATCH THIS VIDEO and fast-forward to 3:19, you will know for certain that she definitely likes all different kinds of guys. She likes them so much, I'm about to take you behind the scenes of the TV Guide's Sexiest Stars of 2009 photoshoot so you can see her dedication to the peen.
Sure they'd coached her about a million times on how to answer such questions but that didn't stop them fearing that one day she'd slip up.
Or even worse, that one day she'd let the whole ruse come tumbling down on purpose.
And quite a ruse it was. Eliza had come a long way from her days on Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Bring It On where her sexuality was a lot more fluid and people seemed a lot more interested. No, someone – though she wasn't sure who – had decided along the way that if she wanted decent roles, she had to clean up her act. No more leather, no more dark lipstick, and certainly not any more getting caught in clubs making out with girls.
After all, Oscar winners didn't get caught making out with girls in clubs. And didn't she want to win Oscars? Didn't she want to be like Meryl Streep? Like Nicole Kidman? Like Jodie Foster?
Well maybe she was a little bit more like Jodie Foster than they cared to admit. Still, if she wanted to make a name for herself, she had to clean up her act and they were there to guide her along the way.
It was getting more and more difficult for her though, trying to perpetuate the lie. She didn't want to be seen out in public with random guys anymore. She was sick of finding closeted gay men to act as her beard. She just wanted to be happy and all of this lying wasn't the way to do that.
Her first step to happiness was getting a new management team. She just needed to figure out how to let this one go.
With most of the photos taken and the day winding down, the photographers let the journalist enter the small studio. Eliza looked from the camera to the doorway as the woman walked in, her smile faltering just for a second as she realized that the moment she was dreading was quickly approaching.
"Just a few more, Eliza, and then we're going to hand you over to Susanna for the interview," the photographer said.
"Great," Eliza said, plastering on her fake smile again.
A few snaps later and the formal shoot was over. Susanna walked over and politely introduced herself, the video camera not far behind her.
"Were you ready to begin or did you want a short break?" Susanna asked.
"I'm ready as ever," Eliza replied, her smile tense. She sat down on a wooden stool and tried to relax. Maybe this wouldn't go as badly as she thought it might. Glancing across the room, she saw her manager watching her intently, his arms crossed over his chest.
"Great," Susanna said. "You look fabulous, by the way."
"Oh, thanks," Eliza replied, a bit of her old grin coming out to play. "Every night I say a little prayer to the gods of hair and makeup."
Susanna laughed and crossed her legs as she sat down opposite Eliza.
"Not that you need them though. You're a natural beauty."
There was no denying the flirtatious way Susanna said that or the way she smiled at Eliza after she did. There was no time to dwell on it though as the sound of someone clearing his throat behind them caught their attention.
"Not to interrupt but Eliza has a very busy schedule," her manager said, a tight smile on his face.
"Of course," Susanna said apologetically. "We won't keep you long Eliza. I just have a few questions for you."
"Go for it."
"Well, as you know, this shoot is for TV Guide's Sexiest Stars of 2009. How does it feel to be a sex symbol?"
Eliza laughed to herself for a moment before answering, "Well, I guess it's all a bit surreal. I just try to be myself as much as I can be." She glanced quickly at her manager who just narrowed his eyes at her and continued. "If people find that sexy then I guess I'm pretty fortunate."
"Lucky indeed. And I have to ask the question that's on everyone's mind here: What does Eliza Dushku find sexy?"
And then the panic began to set in. Eliza's mind instantly started to wander, thinking about the feel of soft smooth skin against her own. About supple lips that tasted like vanilla and berries. About long blonde hair flowing through her fingertips like cornsilk. And the soft moans and girly gasps that always managed to drive her wild. About . . .
Eliza quickly snapped back to reality, realizing that she'd spaced out there. Looking towards her manager to find him glaring disapprovingly, she quickly answered the question.
"I like . . . guys," she choked out. "I mean I definitely like . . . guys. And I like all different kinds of . . . guys."
Susanna looked at her, partially confused and partially amused.
"So what you're saying is that you like . . . guys?"
Eliza looked at her manager and when he nodded, she replied, "Yes."
"All different kinds of guys?"
She quickly looked over at Eliza's manager and saw him nod, then back to Eliza who replied yes again at his prompt.
"That's . . . great," she said, smiling awkwardly. Who did this chick think she was kidding? "I think we've got everything we need. Thanks so much for taking the time to speak with us, Eliza."
"Really? That's it?" Eliza asked as she stood up along with Susanna.
"That's it," Susanna replied as enthusiastically as possible. "We'll give you a call if we need anything else."
"Okay, thanks," Eliza said, puzzled yet grateful at the same time. She watched as Susanna and the cameraman hastily exited, then glanced over at her manager who was still glaring disapprovingly at her. "What?" she asked.
She didn't wait around for a reply. Instead she took off towards her dressing room, quickly closing the door behind her when she finally reached it. Exhaling loudly, she made her way over to the vanity and grabbed a few tissues, wiping her pink lipstick off as she plopped down in the chair.
"I like guys? All different kinds of guys?" came a mocking voice from behind her. She quickly spun around to find Sarah resting back on the sofa and thumbing through the Maxim magazine that Eliza happened to have her face plastered on.
Eliza sighed and rested back in the chair, chuckling softly.
"Guess I went a little bit blank there, huh."
"Ya think?" Sarah asked as she stood up, tossing the magazine onto the messy table.
"I felt like Steve Carrell in Anchorman. ‘I love . . . lamp!'"
"I don't know why you continue to play your management's game, Eliza. You've already made a name for yourself. Be who you are, people will love you regardless."
"And what about you?" Eliza asked as Sarah nudged her knees apart and stood in-between them. She placed her hands on the girls' hips and looked up into her green eyes.
"I've already told you, Freddie's not getting any straighter. You give me the word and we'll do this together."
And then she felt gentle hands on her face and warm breath over her lips just before she felt the softest of kisses placed right on them.
"Yeah?" she asked, pulling Sarah just a little bit closer.
"Uh-huh," Sarah said, leaning in to kiss her again.
So wrapped up in their kiss they were that they never heard the footsteps coming down the hall or the dressing room door opening until it was too late.
"Dammit Eliza! What did I tell you about this? If you insist on having your girltoy around at least have the common decency to lock the door!" her manager scolded.
"Oh, come on, Tony!" Eliza yelled, not bothering to try to cover up what they'd been doing. "Nobody's gonna come in here and if they do, they're gonna knock first."
"Well I didn't!"
"Yeah, cos you're an asshole!" Eliza shouted. Sarah softly squeezed her hand and Eliza looked down at it, a renewed sense of self washing over her. No more Barbie doll image, no more lies. It was time to finally be herself. "And yunno what? You're fired. You're gonna walk outta this room and when you do, leave the door open cos guess what? I'm coming out."
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