Welcome to a website that actually has an ending point
Welcome to a Webpage that Actually has an ending point
I am confident that you will relish these hilarious and boisterously entertaining jokes.
Get Your Mother
An elderly couple with their
son went into town for the first time.
Eventually they ended up in a tall office
building. The wife wandered off to look
at something that had caught her eye,
while the boy and his father became
attracted to a shiny wall that kept opening
and closing.. They kept seeing people go
in and then come out differently. Finally,
the gentleman had enough when he saw
an old lady get into the shiny box , the
lights flashed on and off again and then
a few minutes later a gorgeous blonde
stepped out. "Son," he said while panting
heavily, "hurry and go get your mother."
Meet Mr. Push Me!
Worries
Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a
small business that the had started himself.
"I need someone with an accounting degree," the man said. "But mainly, I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me."
"Excuse me?" the accountant said.
"I worry about a lot of things," the man said. "But I don't want to have to worry about money. Your job will be to take all the money worries off my back."
"I see," the accountant said. "And how much does the job pay?"
"I'll start you at eighty thousand."
"Eighty thousand dollars!" the accountant exclaimed. "How can such a small business afford a sum like that?"
"That," the owner said, "is your first worry."
The Perfect Employee?
1 Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
2 hard at work at his desk. He works independently, without
3 wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never
4 thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and always
5 finishes given assignments on time. Often he takes extended
6 measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
7 breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
8 vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
9 knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be
10 classed as an asset employee, the type which cannot be
11 dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be
12 promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
13 executed as soon as possible.
Addendum:
That idiot was standing over my shoulder while I wrote the report sent to you earlier today. Kindly re-read only the odd numbered lines.
Young West Virginian Girl
A young West Virginian girl wanted to go to
college at UVA. But her father said ' No Way!
You're going to By-God West Virginia Univ.'
Well she got her way and she went to UVA. The
first semester went by, and she wrote home that
she was getting married to, a man from Richmond,
VA named Clarence. Her father said ' I'll be
damned if my daughter is marrying a man from
Richmond, you're marrying a By-God West Virginian
boy.'
So he sent his two sons to UVA to get their
sister. In a couple of days they returned. Dad
said ' Where is your sister?'
They replied ' We were almost there Daddy and we
came up on this overpass that had this sign that
read 'Clarence 13'6'' so we turned around and got
out of there.'
Want more, well then make use of your patience
Please feel free to send me any comments or suggestions via my guest book.
Last updated 8/5/03
