Site hosted by Angelfire.com: Build your free website today!

one second

i was born, the sensitive child. warned of incidents mild enough to make you stronger boys laugh and to make me weep. and fall into a heap on the ground without a peep and no sound and i'd seep into a frown for short days and long nights. sure, i'd fight the strong fights and take the long hikes but come away bruised and battered. ego, confidence shattered. a misplaced conception of what mattered. every time you opened your mouth i was flattered but that's not what the voices inside my head chattered. my thoughts splattered against a brick wall. my brother's tags on the inside of my skull. you'd take me to the circus, to the festival, but i was already there. your loving stare like the sun's glare. your soft eyes like the most comfortable chair. but as paul simon went to graceland in our living room, i was being unswept by the devils broom.

just stay turned for one more second, just turn around for one last second.

i used to think i was superman, fly around in my pajamas. emotional traumas stored in my hump like a llama's. preparing for the desert. i may have been clever but common sense was severed. it makes sense in dry weather to store up water but as i slaughter these voices sans choices, moist tissues, and voiced issues, i may have overdone it. i'm racing my lifetime and i'm afraid i've overrun it. i'm sorry, i thought that's what you wanted. live to be a hundred. my dreams plundered by your survival tactics. lifelong emphatics and stresses undue. is it any surprise depression ensued? even picasso came out of the blue and i can too. and i owe it all to you. all of it.

in just one minutes, one second, less than a day i'll be okay. going out into the world in my own way with my own things to say. you've taken me far enough, just let me pack my stuff and i'll be out of your way. you've been with me since my birthday and all the days after that. it's time to tip my hat, kiss the cat and get in the car. no matter how far i go, you'll always know that i love you.

back to home.