the greatest lie
as i jump off this roof i remain aloof as to where i may find proof of what went wrong. who would be strong enough to take credit for, nary, step forward as a scapegoat? before i float downward i question my blame on those who gloat and dote over me. was my life a pretend spree of dodging blame, ignoring shame, and thinking tamed thoughts? tamed by the people who i allowed myself to look up to? but i can never do what they do no matter how hard i try. it's a lie to be someone else, someone other than yourself and i made this mistake. i tried my best to be fake but to me, it was as obvious as a great lake. across it my mind must stumble, fumble with itself and finally acknowledge that i am too humble. these problems are all past however, they will not ever matter and i am forever made sadder. i jump and feel the ground. my heart ceases to pound. my mind no longer races with images of races and cases where they criticized me, and i paid the fee inside my head, one where i hear what they said. over and over. but not now. now i feel nothing. now i am free. finally, i am free.
back to home.
