I dont consider myself a poet at all but these are my writings, think of them as you wish.
why do i have doubtsi think things through too much
assuming never does any good
it only makes things worse
maybe im trying too hard
the mistakes i see of others
were never really there
do i always have to be wrong
or do i just not trust myself
will i ever be a better man
or am i confined to stupidity
those who are lacking
of insight such as this
are really the lucky ones
if i am to learn a lesson
how come i fail to see it
what good is time to this
i am unable to see
just what i am to be
but better i not know
will i make the right choices
or am i not supposed to
should i share my life with others
or can i not do that
will what ive done make an impact
or can it not do that
ive come to no conclusions
just a pain to my brain
i wont ever be happy
but who can say they truly are
is my work done for naught
i'll most likely not find out
it seems i hide too much
from those who are there to help
i see them for no use
yet they remain most dear
i am not how those ppl see me
for i dont know myself
life just seems so funny
sometimes i think i get it
but come to find im wrong
my thougts have been compacted
ive only now begun to free them
it feels so much better
but just the same of no use
the same issues keep coming back
i cant rid myself of them
im just writing in the dark
no alternative in sight
im still blinded by all
its so hard to take
coping is too arduous
it all makes perfect sense
to make no sense at all
i dont think i am crazy
cause many can relate
to the feelings im having
they will never know them
still theyll lend a hand
i deal with things myself
and hold them in for pride
i dont wanna give up
its to easy to say that
life will still go on
just have to do the best
with all we are allowed
experiences will come and go
lessons will be taught
whether we learn or not
i hurt those that i love
somehow, i cant get why
it must be for a reason
ive been deprived of so much
but given more than i need
it doesnt matter what we do
on the grand scale this is true
but to our heart and mind
we must be honest with
im just so inadequate
i put ppl on pedistals
when we all are just human
we all have our flaws
im failing to see this
when i know good and well
this is how it is
i just feel so dirty
for the acts ive commited
ive not only hurt myself
but others in the process
the future continues to dim
what light we once saw
in the depths of this tunnel
wil never be reached
i must relax soon
but my mind only churns
ive found no escape
i have said that i quit
it is only a lie
my life still remains
my soul still alive
i grow weary with time
and that should make me stronger
will i ever find peace
does that truly exist
what could anyone really say
no difference will be made
for the moment it may
but then the next day
its all gone away
we veiw so many situations
experiencing just as many
they all are examples
of just what life is
i cannot get into focus
just what i am doing
im sure its for a reason
yet i cant trust this
to be a reason for reason
my options are great
and erratically scattered about
ive constructed my life
from those random choices
for materials in the building
ive struggled so hard
to get wher i am
but out in the real world
i will face even greater toil
what does this all mean
the question's still here
im trying to kill my love
with all i can muster
it is no easy task
im feeding the fire of hate
for love can only remain
but a glowing ember
just to satisfy myself
that ive left no feelings behind
my heart is already broken
no use in mending now
i might as well just go ahead
and extinguish the flame of love
ive come so very far
just to leave it behind
to go off in search of new
ever seeking the better
ill most likely not find
this is where i belong
but id just as yet go
to know for sure its so
maybe i blame her
i dont think that is
maybe i blame me
ah its over anyway
just as she said before
it could be better this way
to tell the truth
i just cant say
im just looking toward tomorrow
forgettin all the sorrow
making of my life
as i want it to be
i cant see whats the prob
the harder i try
to find a solution
the more uselss it becomes
opportunity is right there
but i dont act on it
expecting the other to do so
making it easier for me
when i say id rather do
in truth id rather not
unconditional
thats not what it was
i tested this theory
proving my assumption
in the actions displayed
in all words said
i knew from the start
this was probably a flop
not the most ideal
situation for it all
the beginning was great
the middle wonderful
in the end none of those
i find myself still searchin
for someone who understands
it wasnt that way with her
i always explained things
still she never got
im thinkin im crazy
but really im not
i was only to lazy
to continue this lot
too fed up with it all
id already taken the fall
makes perfect sense
i was stradlin the fence
time for me to choose a side
cause thats all id done, lied
life continues on
ever changing
never stopping
until death we go
leaving others still persisting
looking back
was it worth it
did i do enough
could i do more
of course
but that wasnt
how it was to be
God leads us on a path
his reasons unknown
but still we follow
choosing as we wish
in the end
how it was to be
we strive to retain memories
pictures and words on a page
holding this dear to our hearts
our past still alive
within these lasting forms
how it was
how it was to be
love is here
i know it is
can i see it
yes i can
does it have a form
yes it does
is it spoken
around here, no.
its all around
in various ways
it comes and goes
always there
never leaving
never fading
will i find that person
the one completing my life
the one who'll be my wife
the one whom ill never part
the one that steals my heart
the one ill say 'i love you' to
the one to talk to when im blue
the one who's secrets we share
the one my chidren she'll bare
the one to take my breath away
the one i go home to everyday
the one
ive lost my place
still this life i face
going about the day
trying to find a way
to make sense of it
nothing anyone can say
could really do any good
sitting back to watch
the interaction between fools
who see the world so simply
they use all the wrong tools
to see the world so plainly
it takes more than that
im home again
on a friday night
i cant do anything
with anyone
im to myself
with all my thougts
they arent very clear
their very vague
my mind is racing
but then im bored
i am quite tired
yet im awake
all things suck
nothings worth a darn
i find myself
just giving up
the more i try
the less i get
the more i complain
the worst it gets
i sit back
and watch things go
they never stop
or go my way
following the heart
to no avail
it lets me down
best to ignore
love is most powerful
feelings so strong
for another we see
do they feel the same
will they ever
could they ever
we play with emotion
testing it for a reason
to know what its like
to know what we want
to know what we dont
my life is in shambles
no end to this in sight
forever continuing the race
the finish line unknown
my opponent never seen
but constantly on my tail
when i tire, just keep moving
no time to stop and rest
no time to ease the stress
must press on
lacking in motivation
filled with giving up
my body tires easily
my mind never recovering
the scars given freely
taking them along
never to depart
they stay a reminder of
the hardships faced in duration
obstacles along the path
of a race with definate end
how things are
how things arent
the predicaments we get into
the predicaments we get in the middle of
the predicaments we stay away from
the things we do
the things we dont do
the things we say
the things we dont say
the things we enjoy
the things we have to enjoy
the things we dont enjoy at all
the people we love
the people who are friends
the people who are disliked
the people who are enemies
the lives we live
the lives we wish we did
the lives we influence
the lives that influence us
the way we think
the way others think
the way others think we think
the way we think others think
even as lovely as you are
i still wont go that far
im of a dying breed
the ones who control the need
its not that i dont wanna
im just waitin on a
person to fill the part
one who steals my heart
to the simplest of minds
the world is so complex
the most intelligent of all
the world is so complex
those who long for simplicity
are striving for nothing
things are just the same
no matter intelligence
the things we do out of reason
most time under influence
what we think we outta
we dont out of fear
the majority shuns
the minority action
to be different i want
to be original i cant
im people put together
that unique to myself
viewing others doing things
the words they say
i think them to be their own
blind to the fact
that i
could very well be
the influencer
i hurt for those around me
whom i get close to
getting to know very well
who i grow to love
the females that i have loved
save those i think as sisters
i have make it a point to
hurt them more than they i
these people i really care for
but i find easier to dislike
the pain they feel even greater
than i couldve possibly intended
it rips my heart and mind
to know i do this
yet somehow i find
justification
people think what they will
making judgements on the spot
if they wer abled a deeper look
the things they find may surprise try to push the limit
keep everyone guessing
those who really care
will know you really
those who really dont
will never really know
stop what you say
when ive finally found a way
to better myself
over others
for so long ive been lesser
now ive come to be better
not perfect, never that
just respect for me
self esteem from the gutter
rising above the people i thought
on a pedastil stood
Sign the guestbook and lemme know what you think.
