"Scars Of The Road, And A Beacon Of Hope" by Nick Sharpe (nsharpe@inna.net)
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"And the earth becomes my throne.
I adapt to the unknown.
Under wandering stars I've grown.
By myself, but not alone."
		An excerpt from "Wherever I May Roam" by Metallica
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	I look at myself a few years down the road, and I can see myself stepping 
through the ropes. Not nessecarilly an ECW ring (although I hope to end up there one 
day), but some wrestling ring, in front of anywhere from 20 to 20,000 fans, who 
almost all are enjoying the show.

	I must be a softy at heart, because I've always looked at wrestling that way, 
and how I want to do it when it comes my time for the spotlight. The cash wouldn't be 
a factor (not a big factor, anyways... Paul, you listening? =P). It would be the fact 
that these fans, who could be anwhere between rich millionaires without a care in the 
world to someone just freshly fired from a job they've done X amount of time, that 
come out to disspell reality to watch two Goliaths (or Davids) get it on in the ring. 
A chance to forget all their cares, and have a good time.

	I get up every morning (ok, ok... afternoon), and think to myself: "I want to 
be the guy who brings smiles to all these people's faces. I want to be the guy who 
goes out there to have fun, and reach almost orgasmic levels just by looking at the 
faces of joy on the fans."

	But then I think of all the depressing stories of life on the road.

	How Mick Foley was away from his wife for weeks and months at a time while 
being battered and bloodied (and de-earred) in foreign lands and on home soil. How 
Tammy Lynn Sytch has to leave her true companions (outside of Chris Candido... in 
other words, her pets) when she goes on the road to show off T&A to please a crowd 
(I noted this stuff by reading a magazine where she told about this). How it turns 
great legends into total wrecks of humanity (watch "Beyond The Mat" and watch Jake 
Roberts in the movie. You'll understand then.). How it destroys marriages and 
relationships (Bret Hart, for example). Hell, how it makes you have to turn to 
hookers and rats just hoping to get the same feel and satisfaction that a true 
meaningful relationship gives, and ultimately doesn't.

	I think of these things, and think to myself: "I'm a lonely and totally 
dented person now. The road will end up being my deathstone."

	Do the pluses of being looked up to by hundreds to millions of fans outweigh 
the fact of the total destruction of your own personal life? I can't answer this, 
seeing as I'm not a pro wrestler who lives on the road (not yet, anyways), but I'd 
bet all the pros would express their feelings on this point (and I know a few of you 
read this newsletter... it'd be great to hear your honest opinions on this.). Hell, 
wrestlers ain't the only people who have this. some movie and music stars probably 
have the same thing going on for them.

	But then I think even deeper about it, and look to my idol, Terry Funk, and 
think of something a friend of mine said to him (which pisses me off because: a) he 
met him; b) it's the exact same thing I woulda said to him): "Mr. Funk, you cannot 
believe the respect I have for you for all you've done in this sport."

	His reply: "You don't know how good that makes me feel."

	Sure, wrestling might be the deathtrap of emotional feelings for others, but 
I sit back, and think to myself that maybe a fan of any age, size, color, anything, 
to come up to me and say something along the lines of "Mr. Sharpe, I watch you night 
after night as you put your body on the line, and I have so much respect for you, for 
what you do, that I can't even explain it." would totally outweigh the lack of a warm 
body and soul to come home to, ragged and worn, after maybe 350 days on the road, 
taking inhuman bumps night after night.

	I may be extremely naieve, and I might change my mind somewhere down the 
road, but for now to think about it long and hard, the plusses seem extremely better 
than the minuses.