AMERICAN APOLOGY TO THE CHINESE
Dear China,
We're sorry that you don't train your fighter pilots better. As a token of
our apology, here's a copy of Microsoft Flight Simulator 2000.
We're sorry that you're front-line fighter planes can't outmaneuver a 35
year old prop-driven airliner. Perhaps, you'd like to consider purchasing some
surplus 1950's era Lockheed Starfighters from Taiwan (We just replaced all
theirs with shiny new F-16's).
We're sorry that you believe your territorial waters extend all the way to
Australia, for future reference, here's an American 6th grade geography
textbook. (Please take note of the Copyright information printed inside the
cover.)
We're sorry that you can't seem to see your part of this incident. We know
that it may seem easier to blame others than to take responsibility.
Consider this fact while we build several new Aegis destroyers for our friends in
the Republic of China (Taiwan).
We're especially sorry for treating you with such respect for the last 20
years. We will definitely rethink this policy and probably go back to
treating you like a common, untrustworthy street gang very soon.
We're very sorry for ever granting you Most-Favored-Nation trading status
and supporting your entrance into the World Trade Organization. This will be
rectified at the soonest possible opportunity.
Sincerely,
The United States of America
PS... Kiss our ass.
PPS... Bill, Al, and Hilary say hi, they still love you and ask that you send more money.
