One day, for no particular reason, I found myself walking. The leaves were just starting to fall, the whole woods a mixture of reds, yellows, browns, and greens. Faint crackling under foot, and a cool chill in the air, I walked to my favorite part of the field. Here stood my tree, the barrier between field and forest, my little safe haven. When I was bored, or just wanted a break, this is where I came, but not today. Today just wasn't the day to stop and climb that tree, or sit in its shade. I kept walking.
As I continued to walk, I noticed how far I actually was from the tree. I could no longer see my house, and my tree was getting lost in the background. I stopped, and pondered. I weighed the good and the bad; the fear of getting lost against my own determination. My feet finally answered my own question, and continued their trek. The farther I walked, the quieter the woods became. I could hear every noise. Each breath I took, every step I made, echoed in the silence. The rustling of the dried leaves, the sounds of animals, and the constant yet slowing snaps of my steps, sent chills down my spine.
I was petrified. I had never been alone in the woods. All the sounds, the cold air, knowing for the first time in my life I was truly alone. I slowed my pace again. The rock was finally in view. It seemed huge, and the distance I walked so far. So far from where I started, so far from where I used to be.
I walked around to the back of the rock and climbed until I reached the top. There I perched. All around me were trees, leaves, and loneliness. At that moment my life stood still. Emotions I had never felt before suddenly overwhelmed me. For the first time my tears weren't for want or pain, but for sheer lack of knowledge. It dawned on me that no matter how hard I tried, there were still parts of life I could not explain, pieces to life's puzzle that I may never put together. Torn between the thoughts of a child and an adult, I remained sitting on that rock.
Today, a few years down the road, I see myself sitting on that rock. Still stuck between naivete and the truth. Walking to the rock that day was maybe crossing my own Rubicon. It has pushed me to find out my own truths, set my own goals, and live my own life. What started as a simple childhood walk, ended in my own continuing quest for enlightenment.
