Back Again
The first thing going through your mind,
is who will cry.
Will anyone care
if I say goodbye?
For years I felt alone
and outcast.
Maybe that is what has led me
to this final task.
Tears of hopelessness
and cries of despair,
kept me awake at night,
thinking no one cared.
For weeks and months
I've searched for a plan.
Now it is all clear
as I hold it in my hand.
One small piece of metal
can end all my pain.
Now my choice is hard,
but plain.
Shouldn't I be scared,
or a little frantic?
But I don't even jump
as it locks down with a click.
I raise my father's pistol
from my side to my head.
In just a few moments
I will be dead.
As the gun goes off,
I fall to the floor.
I can hear pounds and screams
at the door.
My mind runs back
through a time ago,
thinking of the ones I've loved,
and how they hurt me so.
As my mind goes blank,
I'm full of fear.
Afraid of my death,
that draws ever near.
I wish I could take it back,
but now it's too late.
I have died with no love,
and a heart full of hate.
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