You know you're from the DC Metro area if....

DISCLAIMER: This page was made due to massive boredom while in Connecticut, so everything is a COMPLETE joke and shouldn't be taken too seriously. If you take it seriously... than the Joke's on you. THE MANAGEMENT

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1. You say you're from DC, but you actually live in VA or MD but are too embarrassed to say it

2. Snow means rain to you

3. Ice on the roads just means that you pay more attention to other cars, but still go 75 mph on the highways

4. You can tell when the roads change from DC to Maryland (they get better)

5. MD drivers say VA drivers are bad while VA drivers say MD drivers are bad

6. We get out of school for government closings

7. You know where the pentagon really is

8. You consider Costco to be fun (and now you know that there's alot to choose from)

9. You can see the national cathedral from almost anywhere

10. The air and space museum is NOT the best museum.......nor are any of the monuments (we're not saying its the worst... we're just saying that its not the best)

11. You actually know at what times the streets change directions and which they direction they change to

12. We don't have southern accents, IT'S NOT THE SOUTH!!!!!

13. You know at least 2 rowers

14. You know that Georgetown is NOT only a school

15. We are NOT all related to each other

16. You consider Northern VA to be in no way similar to southern VA

17. You know at least 3 other people from any of the 3 areas

18. You know which bridges to cross to get to Maryland or VA

19. The closest Wal-Mart is ____minutes away

20. Do we even have a Wal-Mart?

21. When you say you're going to the mall you don’t necessarily mean you're going shopping

22. The Old Post Office doesn't sell stamps

23. We aren't all Orioles, Wizards or Redskins fans

24. You can take the subway to another state

25. You can be in a boat on the Potomac and be in DC, VA, and MD

26. We call it targét, not target

27. You can live next door to a senator, an ex president/vice president or any political figure

28. You consider exploding man hole covers to be a yearly occurrence

29. You actually know what HFStival is

30. We know what direction to go on the beltway

31. Washington National is and will always be "WASHINGTON NATIONAL" not "Reagan National”

32. DC cops ARE real cops

33. You constantly hear stories about dead bodies that are found in our rivers…. Oh and cows too

34. You actually know what’s in Dupont circle… need I say more

35. that you can't believe that some people get so insulted by this stupid stuff that they feel like that they have completely insult the authors when IT WAS JUST A JOKE!!! COME ON... DON'T YOU HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR!!!

36. DC park police CAN and WILL come to your house to ticket you…. Even if you don’t live in DC

37. When you have a party, most of the cops know about it and stop by

38. When a party is going on, at least 5 schools are represented and they aren’t all from the same state

39. A lot of your friends have parents that are some sort of lawyer

40. There’s at least 4 7-eleven’s on a road and each of them are at least a ¼ mile from each other

41. There’s at least 5 gas stations on each intersection

42. You can tell by people’s cars where they live and maybe even what neighborhood

43. You claim that there’s nothing to do on a weekend night even when you have a HUGE city to explore

44. You dress like you’re going to go to a club but you drive around Georgetown instead

45. You actually know that Captiol Hill really is a hill

46. You dont take metro stops names literally... Foggy Bottom ain't foggy

47. You have the metro map memorized.

48. You've given people directions to I-95 and 66... simultaneously

49. Everything is at least 10 minutes away and you still think it's too far away

50. You know what "Zag" is and you've been to one of their parties

51. One word: ABERCROMBIE

52. When you get a person's phone number, you get their house number along with their cell phone and/or pager and either put it in your own cell phone or in your palm pilot

53. You can name almost all the private schools in the area and name at least 2 people from each of them

54. You've been to the Cathedral numerous times but only one of the times has actually been a school field trip

55. You notice that there's been construction on the same stretch of highway for the past 5 years and you never see anyone working on it

56. You know dozens of Congressmen/Sentators/Diplomats/IMF and World Bank members, because you either live next door to them or you've partied with their kids

57. Once you are able to drive, you drive EVERYWHERE and never even think about the possibility of walking anywhere


* You say "NOVA" to refer to the community college and not to Nothern Virginia itself.

* When you hear "College Park" you think Univ. of Maryland-College Park, NOT some off-campus housing at a college.

* You turn on the "local news" to hear about the latest national scandals/events.

* You know the names of all the major roads: Falls, River, Wisconsin, the Pike, and M Street.

* A yellow light actually means "3 more cars can go through," and a red stop light actually means "2 more cars can go through."

* You meet someone else who says they're from the DC area and you realize they're an hour away from you.

* You can't go to Tysons Mall without seeing someone you know!!

* A Virginian doesn't even have to look at a cars license plate to know that it is a Maryland driver.

* when you drink with your buddies in the parks.

* When you know exactly where every Starbucks is within 20 miles.

* it is rush hour 24/7.

* You never actually call "the Metro" a subway.

* It takes you 45 minutes to drive 3 miles on 66 on the way to school.

* when you are driving at night and you see 5 poilce cars pulling someone over you know its just for a rountine stop.

* When you are driving through Georgetown and you can hear the music of the car next to you louder than you can hear your own.

* When you pay more money in parking tickets in a year than you do in medical bills.

* you go to JMU, Tech, or UVA and you know 80% of your class.

* You know you're from Northern Va. when 30 minutes seems too long to drive to get to a mall.

* you have been to at least a dozen twenty-four hour restaurants in the middle of the night... and yes, krispy kreme counts.

* You've ever had to explain to someone that there's more to Arlington than a big cemetery.

* You have a few friends who don't know what their parents do...It's Top Secret government work.

* you have been to Bob and Ediths Diner at least once, and know its the best place to go past midnight

* you know that Woodrow Wilson Bridge is backed up for at least 2 miles in each direction, any time of day

* you describe traffic moving 1 mile in 5 minutes as "not that bad"

* you know what parts of DC you shouldn't venture into

* "I got stuck behind a motorcade" is a common excuse for being late

* You're aware that National Airport is in ARLINGTON, not D.C.

* You have memorized where every red-light camera in the area is.

* You always got pissed when Fauquier County got out for snow, and you didn't.

* you have a scary story about getting lost in anacostia

* You know at least 3 different ways to get to the beltway

* You know exactly what a Crown Vic looks like in daylight or night, and can spot it's headlights in your rearview mirror. And you know every undercover cars make and model. You also know exactly where and when the cops will be on any road.

* When getting someone phone number, you must get their area code too (we ran out of numbers under one area code).

* people from other states don't undersatnd why the monuments aren't "The coolest things EVER" to you

* If you listened O.A.R., Dispatch, and Vaco way before everyone who listens to them now.

* When you meet someone else from the DC area, the first thing you ask them is where they went to school

* You have eaten at Tastee's Diner in Bethesda when your completely drunk

* When you don't understand how someone can live without a cell phone or other mobile device

* When you criticize the size, year and features of your friends cell phones

* You have ever gone to watch the planes land at the airport.

* you know you are in DC if you notice white kids in Polo khakis and button down shirts listening to hardcore rap

* you go to Pentagon City Mall and laugh at the silly school groups and tourists with their matching neon shirts and caps

* when people ask for directions you tell them it's either "inside" or "outside" the beltway

* You recognize the sound of a helicopter instantaneously

* you know about the rope swing at the potomac. (extra points if you have ever sat in the hammock).

* you know the best way to get somewhere in the city is not with a map...but to get lost and find it on your own.

* You know how to get to the "REAL" exorcist stairs!

* your idea of a waterfront is four decent restaurants alongside dark alleys facing a polluted river with nothing on it besides a boathouse and twelve rickety powerboats.

* you have eaten at Cali T, Cal Tor, or C T, but have no idea what California Tortilla is.

* People don't ask you if Chevy Chase is named after the actor.

* There are at least 5 ways to get everywhere and you know which way to go based on the time of day and whether you are coming or going

* When you go to the Eastern Shore for vacation and everyone you meet is from the DC area too.

* your school's parking lot looks like an auto importer's showroom

* you wear flipflops year round.

* If a class trip took you out of the country

* Your highschool was designed by the same architech that did the local Nordstroms

* your behind the wheel test for driver's ed was on 95 and 495

* When you drive on a road you haven't been on in a few weeks, and you see a brand new shopping center being built and aren't surprised.

* if you hit one red light on Constitution Ave. you will hit every red light until you get to 66

* You know when you are in Northern Virginia when driving from Maryland and your speedometer goes from 60 to 0.

* You know that Vietnam is no longer in the South Pacific, it's now been re-located to Eden Center

* You've actually seen the real Patch Adams

* You know that the school in "Remember the Titans" IS a real school

* u know ur from DC because u r the only person at college that knows the OAR went to Wootton HS

* when your high school security guards ride around on golf carts

* You have asked your dad what NOVA 35 REALLY is

* half the people who attend your school are kids of Congressmen and Diplomats

* You know that the LOST DOG is really a restaurant

* If you are a white guy from Alexandria your cd range from Busta Ryhmes to Dispatch.

* When ever spring rolls around, conversations shift to and stay on rowing for four months.

* When you went to college up north and before going out asked everyone "what are y'all doing tonight" and they laughed at you for saying y'all.

* the few times you have gotten lost in DC you have somehow ALWAYS ended up in Anacostia and every road out somehow leads back to Anacostia.

* people from outside the area are thrown off by your sarcasm

* You are 4 degrees of separation away from Skye Elliot. (Trust me, you are)

* When you know what "If you don't get it, you don't get it" really means.

* I-395 is Norther Virginia's version of NASCAR, but no, we don't watch that, we just do it.

* If your high school doesn't have enough parking spots for the senior class.

* if you've been to Gravely Point and seen/felt the planes take off and land at National Airport

* You will forever associate the color purple with Gonzaga

* You can parallel park like it’s your job.

* You've spent more time after dark at Iwo Jima (yes the monument) that in the daytime.

* Coke is always called coke. It's not soda or pop, or even soda pop. As in "Hey do you want a coke?" "Yes, what do you have?" "Sprite, root beer, Coke..."

* you have no comment for those who brag that they've been to DC.

* you are the one amazed at the skyscrapers in cities like Pittsburg, Chicago and New York.

* you know what HS David Grohl went to.

* you don't pull out your wallet to pay when you enter a museum

* There is no North, South, East, or West directions on the beltway, it's just go "that" way!

* You have ever gone paddle-boating in the Tidal Basin.

* You know you're from DC area when your life revolves around finding a parking space.

* When you laugh every time you see the "Surrender Dorothy" continuously painted over and repainted on the bridge over the beltway approaching the Mormon Temple.

* Chevy Chase is a place to live, not an actor

* You can read the things crew teams have painted on the wall.

* When you realize you utter the phrase "damn tourists" entirely too often.

* When all your friends either go to Ivy Leagues or small liberal arts colleges on the east coast or in Cali.

* Really it's more like 3 degrees of separation from Skye Elliot.

* You've gotten lost in Virginia at least 3 times and never knew quite how you got back into DC.

* You're in high school and you actually know what the World Bank, IMF and EPA are.

* You know that Skyline mall = ghetto

* When you say you go to school at NOVA you mean the community college but know that others think you mean Villinova.

* you can go to school every day and see atleast 5 people you've never seen before.

* You know you're from the DC Metro area when you're house becomes a hotel for all your college friends to stay at when they visit Washington.

* you can harmonize perfectly with the alert for "Doors Closing" on the Metro

* you realize that you have to drive a long ways to find some nice woods or a park that is safe and healthy

* You know where and what the Social Safeway is.

* only in Arlington can the same road run parallel to ITSELF!