Blonde Jokes
Here are some of my "cleaner" blonde jokes.
I couldn't put the rest on here in good taste.
What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
Gifted!
How does a blonde brain cell die?
Alone.
What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair brunette?
Artificial intelligence.
Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
That's where you're supposed to was the vegetables!
What is the advantage of having a blonde as a passenger?
You get to park in the handicap spot.
How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
Shine a flashlight in her eyes.
Why shouldn't blondes get coffee breaks?
It takes too long to retrain them.
How do you know when a blonde has used your computer?
There is white-out on the screen.
Why to blondes wear green lipstick?
Because red means stop.
What's the mating call of the blonde?
I'm sooooo drunk.
What's the mating call of an ugly blonde?
I said I'm drunk!!!
Why to blondes write TGIF on their shoes?
"Toes go in first."
What do blondes say when you blow in there ears?
Thanks for the refill.
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
Why do blondes take the pill?
So they know what day of the week it is.
If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits first?
The brunette. The blonde stopped to aske for directions.
What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
Bigfoot has been spotted.
What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
They're both empty from the neck up.
How do you drown a blonde?
Put a mirror at the bottom of a pool.
Why would a blonde have a square chest?
She forgot to take the tissues out of the box.
Why did the blonde only change her baby's diaper once a month?
It said on the box, good up to 20 pounds.
Why did the blonde get so excited when she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months?
The box said from 2-4 years.
Why do blondes die before help arrives?
They can't find the 11 on the phone for 911.
What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?
An interpreter.
What do you call ten blondes standing ear to ear?
A wind tunnel.
What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
Last year's hide-and-seek winner.
What do you call a fly buzzing inside of a blonde's head?
A Space Invader.
What's a blonde's favorite rock group?
Air Supply
How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday?
Tell her a joke Friday
How do you know when a blonde has been baking chocolate chip cookies?
There are M+M shells on the floor.
How do you drive a blonde crazy?
Tell her to alphabetise a bag of M+M's.
A cop stops and blonde going the wrong way on a one way street. He asks, "Do you know where you are going?". She answers "no, but wherever it is, it must be bad 'cause everyone is leaving."
Two blondes where in a parking lot trying to get the car door open with a coat hanger.
#1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
#2: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down!!!
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