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Texas Chainsaw Massacre 5: The Monkees vs. Leatherface

By Mary Nesmith


"Another gruesome gravesite was found early this morning. As of now, there are at least four bodies in this mass grave..." The radio announcer had broken into the music program to announce the news bulletin.

"Mike, can we please change the station?" Peter asked. He was curled up into a ball in the passenger seat, obviously frightened by the news story.

"What? Oh! Yeah, go ahead, shotgun." Mike had been thinking about something else and didn't even hear the announcer.

"Hey, Mike. Does that sort of thing happen often?" Micky asked from the back seat.

"What sort of thing?" Mike briefly turned his eyes from the road to give Micky a confused look.

"The discovery of mass graves, weren't you even listening?" Davy asked.

"Actually, no, I wasn't listening. And no, not that I know of. Then again, I haven't been back here in a few years."

"Not funny, Mike." Peter said as Micky and Davy returned to their backseat horseplay.

A few days ago, the Monkees received a phone call from Mike's family in Texas. They were still very unclear as to what "family crisis" Mike's cousin had referred to, but they went on anyway.

"Hey, keep an eye out for any motels or anything. Sun's gonna set soon, and we're getting to Last Stop." Mike informed the rest of the guys as Peter finally found a good Rock n' Roll station.

"Mike, what is Last Stop?" Peter asked.

"The last town in Texas where you can get any sort of supplies." Mike answered.

"Sounds... rustic." Micky commented.

"That's a nice way to put it." Mike said.

Just then, the Monkeemobile began to make some bad noises, then just stopped.

"Great." Mike said.

"What happened?" Peter asked.

"Don't know." Mike answered as he got out of the car and opened the hood.

"See anything?" Micky asked from inside the car.

"Yeah. I see smoke, lots of smoke." Mike took a step back and coughed. "Looks over-heated."

"And the suns going down. Just great. I'm beginning to hate Texas." Davy chimed in as he got out of the car. "Now what do we do?"

"We wait for it to cool down. Looks like we sleep in the car tonight." Mike answered.

Night had fallen, and the four boys were all in the car trying to get sleep, but not really getting anywhere.

"Maybe we should play a game." Micky suggested.

"Like what?" Mike asked.

"I Spy!" Micky announced.

The other three turned to Micky and glared, seeing as it was so dark, they could barely make out each other's faces.

"Little joke, about that big?" Micky smiled and winced as he made his thumb and pointer finger an inch apart to show the size of the joke.

The rest of the group just groaned and turned away.

"Did you hear that?" Micky asked.

"No, Micky, we did not." Davy said, slightly irritated.

"No, I'm serious! I heard something, a buzzing. Let me out, I want to go exploring." Micky said.

"Now, ya know that's not a good idea, Mick." Mike protested.

"If you don't, I will sing the most annoying song I can think of at the top of my lungs." Micky warned.

"And what would that be?" Mike asked.

"Sugar!.. do-do-do-do-do-do, oh.. honey honey. do-do-do-do-do-do. you are my candy girl! -" Micky yelled.

"OK!!! We'll let you out, just stop!!" Mike yelled back. "But we all go exploring, together." And with that, the group got out of the car.

"Now do you hear it?" Micky asked. It was a low humming sound coming from somewhere in the woods (yeah, I didn't know Texas had woods either. apparently they do. tehe).

"I would probably be able to if you hadn't sung so loud." Davy complained.

"Yeah, what do you 'spose it is?" Mike asked.

"No clue, but let's find out." Micky led the group into the woods.

"Davy, I have a bad feeling about this." Peter said as they followed Micky and Mike.

"I think that humming sound is getting closer." Davy commented as they wondered deeper into the woods.

"You know, I think you're right. Let's go this way." Micky said.

Just as the group turned, they found themselves facing a road.

"Where did that come from?" Mike asked.

"Nice country back road." Peter said. "Do you think it leads anywhere?"

"I would hope so." Micky gestured down the road.

"I don't see why not." Davy answered, following Micky's gesture.

"Shall we?" Micky asked.

"We shall." Peter answered.

The four began to walk down the road, and the humming sound just got louder.

"I wonder what that is?" As if on cue, Micky's question was answered by a chainsaw wielding maniac with what looked like a mask over his face jumped out of nowhere and in front of the guys. The man known as Leatherface began to wave his chainsaw around and yell incoherently.

Mike, Peter, Micky, and Davy stared at the spectacle in front of them, turned to each other, and screamed. Then they ran, followed by Leatherface.


Go to Part 2!