Author's Notes: A line here and there might be missing. I'm not sure. Screen Gems Network might've cut something out when they aired it. Also, I added a few lines of dialogue in one scene (where Micky and Davy bring Peter back to the Pad) to make up for some dialogue that I know I missed. Other than that, I've tried to make my novelization follow as closely to the original eppie as I could! Enjoy! :))
He happened to stumble across a sign on a building reading, "Oraculo, World's Leading Mentalist. Down the alley. Down the alley?" the blonde Monkee repeated. With a shrug, he walked down the alley, which was just around the corner of the building. He came to the door marked, "The Great Oraculo."
He was about to go in when the door was opened by a man wearing a rather tall, red hat with a tassle on it and looked to be maybe from India. He said something to Peter in another language. Peter looked at the man, puzzled. "Come on in," the man said with a gesture.
Peter entered. "Thank you," he said.
"You're welcome," the man replied.
Peter saw a man clad a magician's attire, complete with an eye piece, which always seemed to be falling out.
"Mr. Oraculo?" he asked.
The man in magician's clothes nodded. "I am the Great Oraculo, world's leading mentalist."
"Oh, good," Peter said. "I'm Peter Tork."
Oraculo nodded and stood up. "I knew it just as surely as if you'd said it yourself."
"I'm a member of a rock group and I need your help," Peter continued.
Oraculo looked at the blonde musician. "There are some things even the Great Oraculo cannot fix."
"Well, you see, I've been trying to write a song for two weeks now, but I'm completely blocked. I need your help," Peter said.
"You've come to the right man," Oraculo said.
"You see, I promised the guys I'd write a song before the audition. I can't let them down!" Peter insisted.
Oraculo took great interest. "Audition?" he repeated.
Peter nodded. "For the Monkees. At the Club Cassandra. A ten-week gig."
"Ten-week gig," Oraculo mused, a devious plan beginning to form in his mind. He gestured toward a table and chairs. "Sit down, Mr. Tork," he said. "I may be able to help you."
Peter sat down, looking relieved. "Great!" he exclaimed.
"Now," Oraculo began, waving his crystal ball around, "look deeply into my eyes. Deeply, deeply. What do you see?"
Peter studied Oraculo's eyes for several minutes, then proclaimed, "Dishonesty, cowardice, and a lack of scruples."
"Uh, ahem, that's too deep. Try again," Oraculo said. Another idea came to him. "Mr. Tork, will you join me in a cup of tea?" he asked.
"Do you think we'll both fit?" Peter replied.
Oraculo and his assistant, Rudi, both burst out laughing.
While Oraculo poured a cup of tea for Peter, Rudi distracted the Monkee with a skeleton they had setting around so Oraculo could lace the cup with a secret potion.
Oraculo handed the cup to Peter. The Monkee took a sip. "Hey, this is good," he commented. Suddenly he froze in place, still holding the cup of tea, his mouth hanging open.
"Wonderful," Oraculo said with a wicked grin, waving his hand in front of Peter's eyes. Rudi removed the tea cup from Peter's hand and tried to shut his mouth, but it dropped open again. Rudi tried again, with the same result.
"Now what, master?" Rudi asked.
"Now these people, these Monkees, or whoever they are, aren't going to succeed in the audition," Oraculo replied.
"How, master?" Rudi inquired.
"I have a plan." Oraculo and Rudi both burst into evil laughter.
Peter Tork was in trouble. He was supposed to write a song before the Monkees' audition at the Club Cassandra, but he had a bad case of writer's block. Now there was only a couple more hours before the audition, and he still didn't have a song written. He decided to take a walk through town and see if any good ideas came to him.
At the Club Cassandra, the other three Monkees were setting up for their upcoming audition.
"Come on, boys, hurry it up," Mr. Latham complained. "I can't wait all day."
"I don't know," Micky said. "How can we do anything without Peter here?"
"We can set up," Mike replied as he hooked up his microphone, "but I wish Peter had written us a song."
Hidden around a corner, Oraculo was giving the hypnotized Peter orders to make sure to not let the Monkees win the audition and sent him out. The blonde Monkee walked up onstage and said in a rather mechanical voice, "Hi guys. I'm sorry I'm late."
"Not only is he a good psychic slave, he has perfect timing," Oraculo said in delight to Rudi.
"Do you really think this will work, master?" Rudi asked.
"The Great Oraculo never fails," Oraculo replied.
"Oh yeah? What about the time . . ." Rudi began. Oraculo slapped his assistant's hand to silence him.
"‘ey, look at Petah," Davy said on the stage. "‘e looks kinda like a machine."
"Well," Mike replied, "he always look kinda like a machine."
"‘ey, Petah," Davy called, "are you alright?"
Peter walked over to his part of the stage. "Yes, I'm alright," he replied mechanically. "Come on, guys, let's go." He attempted to play his guitar, which he'd put on backwards. His thumb slid down the smooth back of the instrument.
"Uh, Peter . . ." Mike started.
"Your guitar . . ." Davy started.
"It's on backwards," Mike pointed out.
Peter's thumb flew up to his face and thumbed him in the nose.
Mike shook his head. "I think he's out of it."
"Oh, I don't know," Micky replied. "His crisp, penetrating intelligence is still there."
Mr. Latham looked at them impatiently.
"Well, we'd better start," Mike said.
"You can't play, Tork," Oraculo said to Peter through mental communication. "Your talent is deserting you."
"One, two, three, four," Davy counted, and they prepared to play, but were interrupted by Peter, who let out a loud "cock-a-doodle-doo."
Oraculo laughed in glee. "That's what you call a dumb cluck," he said to Rudi.
The other three Monkees all looked at each other. "Uh, let's try that again," Davy said. "One, two, three, four . . ."
"Five, six, seven, eight!" Peter replied, grabbing one of Micky's drumsticks and stabbing it into the drum, then handing the drumstick back to Micky, who stared at Peter, totally puzzled. Micky then noticed Peter walk offstage and wondered where in the world he was off to. Of course, he couldn't know that Oraculo was calling him back. Micky might've gone after Peter had not another problem cropped up.
Mr. Latham stood up. "That's Monkees?" he muttered. He'd had enough of this "monkey business," if you'll pardon the expression. "Alright, guys, that's enough," he said to the guys.
"But, but . . ." they started to protest.
"Who's next?" Mr. Latham called out, ignoring the Monkees.
"Now, Tork," Oraculo said to Peter, "do exactly as I tell you. The time has come. We must win this audition."
Peter nodded mechanically as Oraculo led him onstage for their audition.
Peter was suspended in midair. Unknown to Mr. Latham, this was accomplished by an invisible rope, which Rudi controlled behind the curtain. Oraculo was explaining how he had raised Peter into the air solely by mental power. The other Monkees sat at a nearby table, observing this.
"Aha!" Micky exclaimed. "So that's it! That phony mentalist has stolen Peter's mind!"
". . . And I can move him up," Oraculo was saying. Peter remained in the same position. Oraculo cleared his throat and looked at Rudi behind the curtain. "Up, up!" he hissed.
"Oh! Up," Rudi repeated, tugging on the rope. Peter went up.
". . . Or down," Oraculo finished.
"Down," Rudi said to himself, letting go of the rope altogether and letting Peter crash to the floor.
Mr. Latham was impressed. "Wonderful, Mr. Oraculo! Fantastic!"
Oraculo smiled a self-satisfied smile. "That it was." He turned to the Monkees. "What do you boys think?" he asked.
"I think you're a ruthless fraud," Mike replied.
Oraculo stiffened. "Ahem, in that case, keep quiet!" he hissed.
"You freaked Peter's mind!" Micky accused.
"He came to me of his own free will," Oraculo replied, looking at Peter. "Didn't you, Tork?"
"Whatever you say, master," Peter responded.
"Well, Mr. Oraculo, come into my office and we'll draw up contracts for you and your assistant," Mr. Latham said.
"Come along," Oraculo said to Peter, who mechanically followed.
"Uh, bye bye, Pete," Micky called after him. "Later, Pete. Hey, don't forget to write, Pete, and, uh, remember the door's always open for you, Pete. You can come home to the Pad and all your friends. But write first 'cause we're renting your room!"
"If we're gonna ‘elp Peter, we ‘avta get ‘im alone," Davy said to Mike back at the Pad. Mike was at the telephone, dialing Oraculo's number at the House of Mysteries. An idea had just come to him.
"Uh, hello, Mr. Oraculo," Mike said when the crooked mentalist answered, "this is Mike Nesmith. I need your help and wonder if you can come over."
"I don't usually make house calls," Oraculo replied, smoking a cigarette on a mile-long cigarette holder.
"But I had this horrible accident and I lost my memory and I can't remember anything," Mike insisted.
"Do you remember who you're talking to now?" Oraculo asked.
Mike shrugged. "Sure. This is Mr. Oraculo."
Oraculo nodded, satisfied. "There. You see? You're already well on the way to recovery already."
"Well," Mike said cleverly, "right before the accident, I remember I was carrying a briefcase containing 50,000 dollars." Oraculo started to choke on the cigarette smoke. "I'd be willing to give half of that to the person who helps me recover it," Mike went on.
Oraculo's eyes glinted greedily. "Hmm. Well, Mr. Nesmith, I may be able to fit you in."
"When?" Mike asked.
"Right now," Oraculo replied.
"Now," Oraculo said, pacing the floor of the Pad's living room, "the hiding place of the money is located deep in your unconscious." He sat down. "I want you to clear your mind of all thoughts."
Mike made a few sound effects through the unlit pipe 
he was using as a prop.
"How do you feel?" Oraculo asked.
"Oh, um, thoughtless," Mike replied.
"Hmm," Oraculo said thoughtfully. "Nesmith, look deep into my eyes. What do you see?"
Mike took the pipe out of his mouth and said, rather offhandedly, "Cowardice, and, uh, dishonesty, and a general lack of scruples."
"Maybe there's something in what they say," Oraculo mused.
Meanwhile, Micky and Davy had managed to sneak into the House of Mysteries and had found Peter. Micky was attempting to break Peter's trance by telling him a spooky story.
"Keep talking," Peter said. "It'll come to me."
"He's still whacked out, Mick," Davy sighed. "What're we gonna do?"
"It's very clear to me," Micky said, "that we have transfer Peter's mind from the spell of Oraculo's mind."
Scene One: A skeleton drives by in a mini-car. Another 
one is seated on the couch. Micky gets scared and leaps up into Davy's arms.
Scene Two: Micky and Davy open the door to another room and discover two pretty girls doing aerobics with a Tarzan-type man. Micky and Davy grin and prepare to enter. Peter cuts through and enters the room carrying a tray, shutting the door behind him. Micky peers through a peephole and then he and Davy yank the door open. They see some weird masks hanging on the wall and slam the door.
Scene Three: Micky and Davy discover Peter in a box marked "Saw in Half Trick: Cut on Line." They attempt to cut the box. When they're done, they open it. Peter has managed to turn himself upsidedown, while still in the trance.
Scene Four: Micky and Davy bang cymbals right by Peter's ears and wind up clutching their own.
Scene Five: Oraculo is attempting to give Mike some tea laced with 
the hypnotic potion. Mike stirs the tea with his pipe, then throws it over his shoulder.
Scene Six: Micky and Davy are seated at a fortune teller's table, chanting over a covered crystal ball. They remove the cloth, revealing Peter's head inside the crystal ball. He stands up, his eyes still with 
their blank look, bringing the table with him.
Scene Seven: Peter walks into a room with a picture of a hand on the door. Micky and Davy follow him and open the door. They discover the Tarzan clone swinging on a rope. Micky quickly shuts the door.
Scene Eight: Micky and Davy bring the two pretty girls over to kiss Peter. They can't wake him from the trance, either. Micky and Davy then try to kiss the girls, but the girls flee.
Scene Nine: Oraculo again attempts to give Mike the potion. Mike does some kind of magic with the cup and makes it disappear, making the laced tea fly all 
over the place. Mike grins widely.
Scene Ten: Micky and Davy dunk Peter in a bowl of water. 
When they pull him up, he's wearing a spooky Halloween mask. Davy and Micky both scream.
Scene Eleven: Tarzan shakes hands with Davy, 
and falls to his knees. Wondering what's up, Micky shakes hands with Davy, and collapses on the floor. Davy, totally baffled, shakes hands with himself and also collapses. Tarzan, now standing up, stares down at the dazed Monkees and shows off his muscle. **Still not sure what in the heck was happening there. Maybe Davy had an electric buzzer in his hand!**
Scene Twelve: Micky and Davy carry Peter out of the room. He suddenly disappears and Micky and Davy find themselves carrying Mr. Schneider instead.
Scene Thirteen: Oraculo's third attempt. Third time's the charm. Mike takes a small sip, sets the glass down, and immediately freezes up, then goes into some kind of contortions, eventually collapsing on the couch.
Micky and Davy stared at Peter, who, after all he'd been through, was still in the trance, wearing his blank look.
"It's no use, Micky," Davy sighed. "He won't budge."
"We have to get him out of here before Oraculo gets back!" Micky exclaimed.
"I've got it! Experimental Psychology," Davy announced.
"What's that?" Micky asked. "Sounds complicated!"
Davy pulled out a mallet. "Actually," he said, hitting Peter on the head, "it's not."
Peter collapsed. Micky and Davy both caught him before he hit the floor, then carried him out.
"Something very odd is going on!" Oraculo declared. "Now, Mr. Nesmith," he said, starting to loose patience, "tell me what's going on. I command you to tell me!"
"Well," Mike replied, his eyes open wide but not really seeing anything, "Davy and Micky are freeing Peter while I'm here feeding you this story about a valise of money that never really existed."
"You gave him the magic formula, master," Rudi observed.
Oraculo headed for the door, gesturing to Mike. "Come, Mr. Nesmith."
"You have turned him into one of your slaves!" Rudi exclaimed.
"To the House of Mysteries!" Oraculo said to Mike.
"First me, then Tork, now him," Rudi went on. "When is it going to end, master?"
Oraculo shrugged. "I darenot say, Rudi. Things are going so well!"
Later, after Oraculo, Rudi, and Mike were out of the Pad, Micky and Davy came in, dragging Peter.
"‘ey, what's going on?" Davy exclaimed. "Where's Mike?"
"Oraculo must've hypnotized him," Micky deduced. "We'd better go back to the House of Mysteries."
"What about Petah?" Davy asked.
"Well, we can't take him with us, that's for sure," Micky replied.
"You're certainly right there," Davy said. "And we can't leave him here on his own, either."
"Hey, I've got an idea!" Micky said, leading Davy over to the wall next to the totem pole. He removed a picture on the wall and revealed four pairs of handcuffs chained to the wall.
"Sorry we have to do this, Peter," Micky said to the blonde Monkee, who'd regained consciousness from Davy's blow, but was still in the trance. "But it's the only way you'll be safe." He closed a handcuff around Peter's right ankle.
"Don't worry," Davy added, snapping one on Peter's left wrist. "Feedings are at one o'clock and seven."
Finished with their work, they headed off to the House of Mysteries.
"‘ey, Petah, close your mouth," Davy said, closing it for him. It dropped open again. Micky tried as well, with the same result.
Back at the House of Mysteries, Oraculo waved a hand in front of Mike's eyes. He didn't respond and only stared ahead with unseeing eyes.
"Fool! Tork has escaped!" Oraculo yelled angrily.
Just then, the front door opened and Micky and Davy waltzed in. Oraculo jumped back in surprise. "Hold it, Mr. Oraculo!" Micky said to Oraculo in an exaggerated, high-pitched voice, "It is I, Captain Goodness and Junior Goodness!" Micky gestured at Davy.
Oraculo waved his hands around as if about to use a spell on them. "You have lost your will," he said eerily.
"You've lost your talent," Micky replied in his normal voice.
"You doubt the psychic powers of the Great Oraculo?" Oraculo asked.
"‘e's a fake, Micky," Davy said. "Let's get ‘im!"
"Hold it, Mr. Oraculo," Micky said, "Your power's gone and Peter is safe."
As Micky continued to go on about how Oraculo wouldn't be able to find Peter, something suddenly crashed down on the drummer's head. He stopped talking and froze for a split-second. Colors swirled in front of his eyes, which gave way to darkness, and Micky collapsed on the floor, unconscious. Before Davy could react to this, the same thing happened to him, too.
Oraculo watched this with great interest.
Rudi emerged from behind a beaded curtain, holding the same mallet Davy had hit Peter with earlier.
"Excellent, Rudi," Oraculo proclaimed. "I always say, When a great mentalist's psychic powers desert him, use another way!"
Rudi looked pleased with his accomplishment. "Yeah, I've gotta hand it to you, Rudi," he said to himself, "you really did it there. Pow-pow!" He gestured with the mallet.
"Give them the magic potion," Oraculo said.
"Yes, master, I've got it right here," Rudi said, taking the syringe and sticking the needle into Micky's arm, then Davy's.
"What a sight I'll be tonight at the Club Cassandra!" Oraculo raved. "Oraculo and His Four Slaves!"
"But, master, what about Tork? They said he was safe," Rudi pointed out.
"We shall see," Oraculo replied. He then looked toward the ceiling and said, "Tork! Come to me! I'm calling you, Tork! Tork, I'm calling you!" he repeated impatiently.
A nasal-voice said, "We're sorry, sir, but your party is busy right now."
Rudi and Oraculo both stared at the latter's coat, where the sound had came from. Then Oraculo reached inside the pocket and pulled out a red telephone receiver. "Operator, get off the line!" Oraculo ordered, replacing the phone and resuming calling Peter.
Peter, chained to the wall, heard Oraculo in his mind and strained at the handcuffs to pull free. He did, bringing pieces of the wall with him.
"Fool! That's not the way to the door," Oraculo scolded.
"Well, what do you expect from a psychic slave?" Peter snapped back.
That night, at the Club Cassandra, Oraculo performed a few magic/psychic tricks before introducing his "Four Slaves." Currently, he was guessing the number of fingers a woman standing in back of him was holding up.
Unbeknownst to the audience or Mr. Latham, Rudi was secretly whispering the answer to Oraculo, who then announced loudly, "Three fingers!" Everyone clapped, impressed. Among the audience was The Penguin, who watched all of the goings-on with great interest.
Strangely, a short guy with glasses, a beard, and a briefcase was just emerging from under a table. Oraculo went over to him.
"Excuse me! You, sir! Would you mind telling me your occupation?"
"Yes, I'm a lawyer," the short man replied in a familiar British accent.
"Ah, yes, a lawyer," Oraculo mused. He stared at the ceiling. "Let's see what the future holds for you, sir." After a few minutes, Oraculo looked back down at the lawyer and said, "Ah, yes! Your future is secure. At the age of 29, you will be the youngest judge ever to sit on the Supreme Court."
Everyone clapped again, until the lawyer said, "But I'm already 35."
"Well, then, you should've come to me sooner," Oraculo said with a shrug, as everyone started to boo him.
Oraculo then walked down to another table. "Now I will demonstrate my amazing invulnerability to pain." He tapped a mustachioed man, also wearing glasses, on the shoulder. The man, startled, dropped his drink and coughed a little. "Yes?" he choked out.
"Sir, would you grind your red hot cigarette into my palm?" Oraculo asked.
"Oh, I couldn't do that, sir," the man replied in a slightly slurred voice. "I don't smoke cigarettes."
"Well, your cigar, then," Oraculo replied, undaunted.
"Well, alright," the man said, taking his cigar and jabbing it into Oraculo's palm. The phony mentalist instantly yelped in pain.
"It wasn't lit," the man said, getting up.
Oraculo glared at him. "You cheated!" he accused.
The man nodded. "Yup, I cheated. It wasn't lit."
Everyone started to boo again.
Meanwhile, backstage, the Monkees were all laying on a couch, all still under Oraculo's spell. Rudi came backstage to check on them.
"You guys okay back there?" he asked. "Need any more magic potion?" He made gestures of throwing potion on them and, in the process, accidentally slapped Micky across the cheek, breaking the spell. The drummer blinked and brought a hand up to his cheek, unseen by Rudi, who was rushing out the door again.
Micky realized what had happened and quickly slapped Mike. "Don't do that," the Texan groaned.
Next, he slapped Davy. "Don't do that," Davy groaned.
He slapped Peter, who grinned and said, "Thanks, Mick!"
Micky leaped up. "Let's go!"
"And now, ladies and gentlemen, for the grand finale—Oraculo and His Four Slaves!" Rudi announced onstage.
The Monkees walked onstage, appearing to still be under the spell. They walked around Oraculo for several minutes while everyone clapped.
"As you see," Oraculo called, "these men are all within my psychic powers. On my command, they will come to rigid attention! Rigid!" he yelled at the Monkees.
They all drooped.
"Rigid, I said!" Oraculo yelled.
While everyone once again booed the act, Oraculo and Rudi worked to get the Monkees to stand up straight.
"Come on, come on, rigid, rigid!" Rudi exclaimed to Peter, who fell over on the floor.
In the confusion, Rudi eventually grabbed Oraculo. "Come on, rigid!" he exclaimed, then realized his mistake. "Oops, sorry master," he said sheepishly. Oraculo glared at him.
Peter jumped up and tapped Oraculo on the shoulder. "Arf, arf!" he announced.
As Oraculo and Rudi watched in shock, the Monkees started leaping through circus hoops and barking like dogs. Micky acted as ringmaster, and cracked his whip accidentally against Oraculo's ankle.
"Ow!" he exclaimed.
"No, it's arf, arf," Peter replied.
"Ladies and gentlemen, it is my famous dog act," Oraculo bluffed.
The Monkees romped and played on the stage, and reminisced about romping on the lawn back at the Pad with dogs.
The audience was so captivated by the act that they, too, began barking like dogs. Davy and Rudi fought over a bone. The audience, including The Penguin, clapped in approval.
After Rudi had stood up with the bone in his mouth and yipped, he turned to Oraculo and said, "Master, do you think this is a fitting thing for us to do?"
Oraculo sighed in defeat. "Well, at least it's show business."
Photo Credits: There's no way I could've gotten this done without the help of some great people!
Credits in order of pic appearance:
The pic of Peter in a daze is from the groovy Heather!
The pic of Peter hypnotized with Oraculo looking on came from the magnorific Estrella!
The pic of Mike with the pipe in his mouth is also from the groovy Heather!
All pix from the romp sequence were snapped by the wonderific Katie!
The pic of the Monkees onstage is from the kewl Aaron!
Give a round of applause for these groovy people, who helped make this novelization a lot more interesting with their pix! :)) Thanks guys!
