The Monkees Blow Their Minds Again

While the audience at the Club Cassandra applauded the improvised dog act, the Monkees quietly sneaked offstage.

"C'mon, let's get outta here before Oraculo realizes we're gone!" Mike hissed.

"Good idea," Davy agreed.

Micky found the back door and the four boys raced outside, where Micky hailed a taxi to take them back to the Pad.

"You said it," Davy agreed.

"I'm sorry for getting us into that mess, fellas," Peter said apologetically. "I was hoping Oraculo would help me cure my writer's block so I could write us a song."

"It's okay, shotgun," Mike said. "We know you were just trying to help."

Davy began searching through his pockets to find his address book. Suddenly he looked up, an expression of panic on his face. "Fellas, my black book is missing!"

"What?" Micky asked.

"I said, ‘My black book is missing,'" Davy repeated.

"So?" Micky didn't get it.

"Oraculo must've taken it when he hypnotized us, Mick," Davy exclaimed. "I've got three dates lined up for tomorrow! I have to get that book back!"

"Hold on, shotgun," Mike said. "Are you sure it's not here somewhere?"

"No!" Davy insisted. "I know I had it with me when Micky and I went back to the House of Mysteries to rescue you, Mike."

"Well, surely you don't expect us to go back there to get a little black book!" Mike said.

"It's the only way I'll be able to get it back!" Davy said. "I have to have it!" He looked pleadingly at his fellow Monkees. "Please, fellas?"

"What if Oraculo hypnotizes us again?" Peter worried.

"He won't, not if we're very careful," Davy said.

Mike sighed. He didn't want to risk getting caught by Oraculo just for a black book.

He turned to Micky. "Hey, where's that flier from that restaurant that was thinking of giving us a job?"

Micky looked through his pockets. "I had it before we got hypnotized," he muttered. He looked up with an sheepish expression. "Oraculo must have that, too. Maybe he'll try to usurp that gig for us, too."

Mike slapped his forehead in frustration. "Well," he sighed, "I guess we have no choice. We have to get that flier back. Unless someone can remember the name of the restaurant."

"Ling Fu Chang's?" Peter suggested.

"Nope, wasn't Chinese," Micky said.

"I think it was the name of a fish," Davy spoke up.

"Sardine?" Peter suggested.

"Trout?" Micky volunteered.

Mike groaned. "Forget it, fellas. Let's just go to the House of Mysteries, find it and Romeo's black book and try to get out before Oraculo spots us."

"Are you sure nobody's home?" a short, chubby one hissed.

"Positive," replied a tall, lanky one.

"Now, what we have to do," said the leader, "is sneak in and look for that hypnotizing potion. If we can get our hands on that, who knows what we can get away with! We can get people to rob banks for us! We can make passersby forget they saw us! The possibilities are endless!" He laughed evilly. "Now, let's get in and get it before the mentalist and his buddy come back from the Cassandra."

"Right, boss." The three men picked the lock on the door and went in.

"Hey, the door's unlocked," Micky said, turning the knob.

"Lay low, fellas," Mike cautioned. "This probably means that Oraculo's back."

"Or maybe that he's absent-minded," Peter suggested.

"How could that happen, master?" Rudi asked, puzzled.

"Fool! The spell must have broken!" Oraculo said angrily, heading for the door. "Come, Rudi. We have to find them!"

"Where would they go, master?" Rudi wondered.

"Probably back to that beach house," Oraculo replied, opening the door.

"Maybe in a desk drawer?" the short, chubby one suggested.

"Tony," hissed the leader, "take Ian and go search that room over there." He gestured toward a door in the corner of the room.

"Okay, sure, boss," Tony replied.

"Man, this place is larger than I thought." Mike's voice floated out to them from the hall.

The thieves froze. "Someone's here," the leader hissed.

"And somethin' tells me it's not that mentalist," Ian said.

"Keep on your guard," the leader warned. "There could be some kind of guards hanging around."

"Okay, boss," Tony said. "We'll keep an eye out. And we have this." He held up a croquet mallet. All three laughed evilly.

"Man, I wish we could find what we came for and get out," Mike said. "This place gives me the willies."

"Aw, there's nothing so creepy in here," Micky said boldly.

Out of nowhere, a skeleton came down from the ceiling, landing on the drummer's head. With a blood-curdling scream, he leaped three feet off the floor and flew down into Mike's arms.

"Some people have a tendancy to speak too soon," Mike said, while Davy tried to stifle a laugh. Peter looked on nervously.

"Master, the Monkees' car is here," Rudi observed.

"I can see that, Rudi," Oraculo said snappily.

"Well, master, that means that they might be in the House of Mysteries," Rudi suggested.

"It does seem that way, doesn't it?" Oraculo mused. He walked up to the door and tried it. "They probably came back for that short one's black book and that flier for the Halibut Restaurant. Come, Rudi. We will sneak up on them and surprise them."

Peter looked horrified. "Michael, I don't wanna be wandering around here all by myself!"

"Frankly, I'm not too crazy about that idea myself," Davy admitted.

"We'll split up in groups of two," Mike replied. "I'll go with Micky, and you and Peter can go. We'll try to meet back here within thirty minutes."

Unbeknownst to our heroes, Oraculo and Rudi were listening to the conversation over the hidden intercom.

"Rudi, you follow the Texan and his friend," Oraculo ordered. "I'll go after the other two."

"Right, master." Rudi headed for the door. Oraculo went over to another door and opened it. Inside, the brunette and blonde-haired girls, whom Oraculo had recruited to retrieve runaway "slaves," were doing their aerobics.

"Melinda, Marianne," Oraculo called.

Both girls stopped their exercises and looked up. "Yes, master?"

"I have a little job for you. I need to catch some runaway slaves." Oraculo showed them pictures of Davy and Peter. "They are somewhere in the House of Mysteries."

"Yes, master," Marianne said. "We will find them." She and Melinda headed out the door.

When they were out of earshot of Oraculo, they turned to each other and giggled. They were only pretending to be hypnotized. The magic potion had worn off that morning, and they were just waiting for their chance to break out.

"Man, that British guy is cute," Melinda sighed dreamily.

"Yeah. So's that blonde one," Marianne said.

"We have to help them escape," Melinda said decisively.

"Well, first we've gotta find them. So, c'mon, let's start!" Marianne headed off, Melinda following close behind.

"Hey," Ian said, "what if that mentalist always keeps it with him?"

"Now that's an idea," Tony said. "But he's not here . . . or is he?" He glanced out a nearby window and noticed Oraculo's car. "Hmm," he said thoughtfully. "Come on, Ian. Let's go try to track that guy down."

Davy shook his head and lifted a stack of papers out of a desk drawer. "No, Petah. I had it with me when Micky and I came here to rescue Mike," the British Monkee insisted.

"Excuse us," an unfamiliar voice called. "Can we help you?"

Davy and Peter slowly turned to face two lovely girls, one with dark brown hair and a resemblance to Mary Ann on Gilligan's Island, and the other with wavy blonde hair.

Davy's mouth dropped open and stars appeared in his eyes. "‘ello, luvs," he greeted the girls.

"Oh no," Peter thought when he realized what was happening, "Davy's falling in love—right now!"

"Um, well . . ." Davy blushed. "You haven't seen an address book around here, have you?"

"Sorry, we haven't," the brunette said.

The blonde came close and said in a confidential tone, "Oraculo sent us to recapture you boys, but we want to help you escape."

"You do?" Peter brightened. "Gosh, that's real nice of you."

"You girls could get in trouble for that." Davy wagged a finger playfully.

The girls laughed. "Oh, we don't care," the blonde said. "We're escaping ourselves."

Tony and Ian stumbled upon the scene and quickly backed out. "There's more people hanging around here than I expected," Tony muttered.

"Yeah," Ian agreed. "I don't think the boss'll like all these crowds."

"I don't like ‘em," Tony said, then sighed. "Come on, that mentalist has to be around here somewhere."

"Man, how long is this thing?" Mike exclaimed.

Suddenly two masked men leaped out in front of them. The two Monkees jumped back in surprise.

"Alright," one of the men, a tall, lanky one, hissed. "If you cooperate, things'll go fine and you won't be harmed. I want that magic potion, see, and I want you to give it to me right now." He glared at Micky. "Now," he emphasized.

The drummer's mouth dropped open. "Huh?" He turned to Mike, who was just as perplexed.

"Uh, would you run that by us in plain English, please?" Micky requested.

The tall man pulled out a gun. "I said, I want the magic potion. Give it to me!"

"Hey," Micky said in low tones to Mike, "I've got the oddest feeling that these guys thinks I'm either Oraculo or Rudi, and that, for some strange reason, he wants the hypnotizing potion."

"I'm beginning to get the same odd feeling," Mike replied. "And I've got a solution. RUN!!!" Mike and Micky tore off down the hall.

"Come back here!" the other man yelled after them. The tall one fired his gun.

Rudi, elsewhere in the House of Mysteries, heard the gun going off. "Something very strange is happening here!" he exclaimed, rushing off down the hall, wielding his mallet.

Davy, Peter, and the girls also heard the noise.

"Holy frogs' legs! Someone's shooting in here!" Davy exclaimed.

Peter's expression was one of panic. "What if someone's hurt Mike and Micky?" he worried.

"I doubt Oraculo would stoop to shooting guns off," the blonde girl said. "Maybe there's some thieves at large in here again."

"What in the world is there around here that thieves would want?" Davy demanded.

"Well, believe it or not, sometimes people come here to steal the hypnotizing potion," the brunette said.

"I don't believe it," Davy said.

The girl laughed. "It's true."

Peter's expression didn't change. "Maybe they were shooting at Mike and Micky!" he exclaimed. "Davy, we have to find them!"

"You're right, Petah," Davy said, all thoughts of black books forgotten. "Let's go!"

"Master!" Rudi came rushing in. "Someone is shooting in here!"

"What?" Oraculo was shocked. "What goes on here when we're not around?"

"Master, maybe someone is trying to steal the magic potion," Rudi suggested.

"That is very possible, Rudi," Oraculo agreed. "If someone is attempting to steal it, we must find them and stop them!"

"Man, that was weird," Mike exclaimed.

"You said it," Micky agreed, running a hair through his wavy hair.

They waited in silence for several minutes, not daring to speak. Finally Micky said, "Do you think they've gone?"

"We can only hope," Mike replied, "that they're not waiting on the other side of the door."

"Well, in case they are, why don't we try to find a different way out?" Micky suggested. "Let's find Davy and Peter and get outta here, black book or no black book!"

"Good idea, Mick," Mike said. "We can always look in the phone book for the Shrimp Restaurant or whatever its name is. I should never have agreed to come here!"

Micky walked over to a window. "Hey, maybe we can climb out here," he started to say, just as a gloved hand reached out from behind the floor-length red curtain and conked the drummer on the head with a mallet. Micky staggered back, dazed.

Mike gasped. "Micky, are you alright?"

The room was spinning. Mike's voice sounded far away. Suddenly Micky fell backwards. He could faintly feel someone catching him as the darkness closed in.

The Texan was horrified as Micky fell limply into his arms. "Oh, man, the things that are happening today!" Mike exclaimed. "First, we're all hypnotized by Oraculo, then we have to come search for a black book and a flier, then some nuts think we have the magic potion, and now someone's knocked Micky cold! What more can go wrong?"

At that moment, something hard crashed on Mike's head. "I had to ask," he moaned before loosing consciousness.

Ian laughed maniacally as he emerged from behind the curtain. "We got ‘em, Tony!" he exclaimed.

"Yeah," Tony smirked, coming out from behind the other curtain. "We really got ‘em there." He kneeled down on the floor next to Mike. "Now, to find that potion."

"We really surprised ‘em, sneaking into the room like that," Ian said gleefully.

Just then the door opened and their boss stepped in. "What in the heck are you guys doing?" he demanded.

"Lookin' for the potion, boss," Ian replied.

"Well, who are these guys?" the boss asked, gesturing at Mike and Micky.

"Why, boss, they're the mentalist guy and his henchman," Tony said.

"How would you know?" The boss folded his arms and glared at them. "You don't even know what they look like."

Tony and Ian looked at each other in sudden realization of that fact.

"But," the boss went on, "I do. I saw them at the Club Cassandra tonight. And these guys are not, I repeat, are not the mentalist and his buddy. These are two of the guys they used in their act, and they do not have the potion, nor do they care to. I watched them escape after the show was over."

"Ooops," Ian said in a small voice.

"I should've done this job myself," the boss muttered. "Now what're we going to do with these guys?"

Ian raised a hand, as if about to try slapping them into consciousness.

"Don't wake them up!" the boss growled. "If they see us, they might recognise us from our picture in the paper from that last robbery we pulled."

"Well, what are we gonna do with ‘em, then, boss?" Ian asked.

The boss threw up his hands in defeat, wishing desperately that his cohorts hadn't messed up. "Who knows?"

"Man, this place is a lot bigger than it looks on the outside," Davy commented.

"Well, Oraculo may not be a very good mentalist, but he does know a few things about creating illusions," the brunette girl said.

"Melinda! Marianne!" a familiar voice called.

"Uh oh, it's him," the blonde girl said. She pointed to a closet. "Quick! Go in there until it's safe."

Davy and Peter rushed in and shut the door, and found that they were not alone. The infamous Tarzan clone swung by on a vine.

"Oh, hello," Davy said, with a little wave of his hand. "Fancy meeting you again!"

They could hear the girls talking to Oraculo and Rudi outside.

"Haven't you found those Monkees yet?" Oraculo asked.

"No, master," Marianne said.

"Not a sign of them anywhere," Melinda added.

"Have you seen anyone?" Oraculo continued.

"No, master," the girls said again.

"Well, be on the lookout for anyone suspicious," Oraculo ordered. "It is highly possible that someone has snuck in, hoping to get their greedy hands on the magic potion."

"Yes, master," Melinda said.

Suddenly a loud crash came from somewhere in the House of Mysteries.

"Good heavens!" Oraculo exclaimed.

"What was that, master?" Rudi asked.

"Well, I think we should go find out," Oraculo declared.

"I think they're leaving," Peter said to Davy.

"That's good," Davy replied, leaning slightly on the door.

Suddenly Peter fell through the floor. Davy (and Peter, for that matter) was shocked.

"Peter!" Davy exclaimed. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I think so." The bassist's confused voice drifted up through the perfectly square hole.

"Where are you?" Davy asked.

"In a really tiny room," Peter replied. "I think it's a storage room. And . . . There's a door over here. It leads to a staircase. Maybe I ought to see where it leads."

"Staircase?" Davy repeated. "Hang on, Peter, I'm coming down." Cautiously, the British Monkee dropped down into the hole and landed on a cardboard box. Peter was waiting at the bottom of the staircase.

"This is a really weird place," Davy commented as they walked up the stairs.

At the end of the staircase was a door, which Peter opened. They found themselves back in the main room, where they'd been before disappearing into the closet.

"Well, here we are again," Davy remarked sardonically, "right back where we came from."

"I wonder where this leads," Peter mused, opening a door. A second later, he screamed as Micky fell limply out of the closet.

Davy rushed over. "Peter, what is . . ." He stopped when he saw Micky. "Holy frogs' legs!"

Peter was repeating something incohent over and over as he kneeled on the floor next to the drummer. Davy managed to catch, "Did someone shoot him?" and knew the bassist was remembering the gun shots they'd heard earlier.

"I'm sure he'll be okay, Peter," Davy tried to reassure Peter, as well as himself. "He probably just ran into a door or somethin' and knocked himself out." Inwardly, he was thinking: Where's Mike? Could he be anywhere close by?

Micky's eyes fluttered open. He seemed to be staring ahead blankly.

"Micky?" Peter asked worriedly.

Davy waved a hand in front of the drummer's eyes. "Micky, are you all here?" He hoped Micky hadn't been hypnotized again.

Micky blinked. "Yeah, I think so. Did anybody catch the number of that croquet mallet?" He sat up, rubbing his head. "Where's Mike?"

"That's what we were wondering," Davy said.

"What happened to you, Micky?" Peter asked.

"I dunno. Mike and I were running away from some nuts who thought we had Oraculo's magic potion. We locked ourselves in a room and we were sure we were safe. But they found us anyway," Micky said with a half-smile. He glanced at the open closet. "Did I fall out of there?" he asked.

Peter nodded. "Yes. You scared me half to death!"

"Well, maybe those creeps knocked Mike out and put him in a closet, too," Micky suggested, walking over to another door and opening it, catching Mike as he fell out. Peter once again looked horrified.

"You found him, Micky!" Davy exclaimed.

"Mike? Can you hear me?" Micky asked the motionless Texan.

"Michael?" Peter came over, looking worried.

"Huh?" Mike slowly opened his eyes. "What happened?"

"I think you were whacked with a mallet, like I was," Micky replied.

"Micky? Are you okay?" Mike asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine, what about you?"

"Okay." Mike glanced at Davy and Peter. "Now that we're all together, I think we'd better get out of here . . ."

He was interrupted by the returning Melinda and Marianne. They looked immensely relieved to see the Monkees.

"Here you are!" Marianne declared. "We've been looking all over for you!"

"So have I," Oraculo said, also entering the room.

Scene One: The Monkees race around the room, trying to escape Oraculo and Rudi. They hide under the table. Oraculo yanks the tablecloth off and peers under.

Scene Two: The skeleton drives by in his miniature car. Mike gets an idea and jumps in the car, gesturing to the other Monkees to climb on board. They look at each other doubtfully.

Scene Three: The thieves enter the room. They see Oraculo chasing the Monkees and start chasing Oraculo.

Scene Four: The Monkees start leaping over the bench with the skeleton on it. Mike and Davy go over with ease. Micky gets scared and leaps on Davy's back in piggyback fashion. Peter trips over the bench and the whole thing falls over.

Scene Five: A phonograph player comes on. Everyone in the room (The Monkees, the girls, and the thieves) all start dancing. Micky starts calling out square dancing instructions.

Scene Six: Oraculo waves his hands around and says something in an eerie voice (probably something like, "You have lost your will!") to the Monkees. They freeze up and pretend to be hypnotized, then suddenly all break up laughing. Oraculo looks at them, annoyed.

Scene Seven: They run wildly all over the place. The thieves have had enough "Monkee business" and escape through a window. Micky looks up and sees the vine that the Tarzan clone swings by on. He grabs it, calls to everyone to hop on, and they all swing across the room and out the door, while Oraculo and Rudi look on.

The Monkees are driving down the street in the Monkeemobile with the two girls.

"Well, that was some experience, wasn't it?" Micky commented.

"Nothing like I've ever experienced before," Davy replied.

"And we'd better not have to experience it again," Mike said with emphasis.

"Oh, boys, that reminds me." Marianne reached into her coat pocket and pulled out a small black book and a piece of paper. "We found these in the House of Mysteries."

Davy took them. "Thanks, luv," he said. "Oh, by the way, are you free tomorrow night?" he asked Melinda.

She giggled and then smiled. "Uh huh."

Mike rolled his eyes as he realized that Davy was asking the girl on a date. "That'll make four tomorrow," he muttered.

Peter took the flier and looked at it. "Oh, it's the Halibut Restaurant," he remarked.

Everyone turned to look at him. "Halibut?" Mike repeated in disbelief.

"I could've sworn it was Trout," Micky said.

"I thought it was Salmon," Davy said.

"I was sure it was Sardine," Peter said.