Part 20

Willow rose from the bed where she had been sleeping with Angel to go get a drink. As she walked from their room to the kitchen, she heard noises coming from behind her bedroom door. (Funny how I call it my bedroom when I never sleep in it). Willow moved closer to the door and placed her ear against it. (It definitely sounds like someone is in there. I wonder why someone would break into a hotel room). She opened the door, causing the figure in her room to turn around.

“Buffy!” Willow exclaimed. “What are you doing in here?”

“I wanted to see what made Angel choose you instead of me. And, I have finally figured everything out. You put him under a spell. That is the only thing that makes sense.”

“Buffy, that’s crazy,” Willow said.

“No, you’re the one that’s crazy. But I’m going to end all the craziness now.” Buffy pulled a gun out and pointed it at Willow. “Once you’re gone, Angel will finally be released from whatever magic you worked on him. He’ll finally be free to choose me, the one he really loves. We’ll be together again and you’ll just be a distant memory.”

“No, Buffy! Please don’t,” Willow yelled.

But it was too late. Buffy pulled the trigger and the bullet emerged from the barrel. Time seemed to slow as Buffy and Willow watched the bullet move towards Willow’s heart. All Willow could think at that moment that there were so many things she had wanted to do. (I’ll never get to tell Angel how much I love him ever again. Oh God, my dying will cause him so much pain). Willow’s last words were a prayer that Angel would not kill himself when he learned of her death. (He has so much to give to the world. God, please don’t take him from it).

As the bullet pierced Willow’s heart, elation raced through Buffy. (Angel will finally be mine now. We’ll be even happier than we were before). But as Buffy watched the life drain out of Willow’s eyes, an overwhelming feeling of sorrow swept over her. She realized what a terrible mistake she had made. (What have I done?). Buffy’s mind flashed back to all the times she had cried on Willow’s shoulder. (Every time I needed Willow, she was around. Her only thought was of trying to make other people happy. How could I kill her?) Tears fell from Buffy’s eyes as Willow finally died. She had killed the best friend she would ever have and there was no turning back now.

*********

Buffy suddenly woke up in a cold sweat. (That dream had seemed so real). Horror washed over Buffy as she realized that a part of her had wanted the dream to be true. She had wanted Willow to die. Buffy had wanted Willow and Angel to feel as much pain as she had when she found out they were together.

But the other part, the part that loved both Willow and Angel would do anything to prevent them from feeling pain. (I can’t go on like this anymore. If I can’t find a way to deal with all this rage and sorrow inside me, eventually, I’ll end up killing myself. Worse, I might even act on the dream I just had. I don’t want anything like that to happen. I couldn’t live with myself if I killed Willow. And, I know that losing Willow might kill Angel. I know how it felt to lose him and I don’t ever want him to feel like that. I just don’t know if I’ll ever be able to live in a world where he loves someone more than he loves me). Tears rolled down Buffy’s cheeks as she remembered how it had felt to be loved by him. (He used to make me so happy. God, how I wish things could have been different. But they’re not. I just have to realize that it’s over now. It sounds so much easier than it will be. But I know what I have to do).

Buffy knew how hard it would be to see Willow and Angel together, but she knew that if she wanted any kind of relationship with them in the future, she would have to make herself get used to the idea of them as a couple. (I know I can do that. I learned to live in a world where Angel didn’t love me, I can do it again). Buffy closed her eyes and hoped that she would be able to follow the vow she had just made.

Part 21

Morning after Buffy’s dream

Buffy opened her eyes and resolved to make today the day where she would try to become friends with Willow and Angel again.

*********

Across town in the Sunnydale Library

Giles pushed open the library doors and was surprised to find Ethan was already there. What was even more amazing was that Ethan was working.

“Ethan, why are you here so early?”

“And, a good morning to you, too, Ripper.”

“I thought I told you not to call me that anymore.”

“You did. But the name Ripper fits you so much better than Rupert.”

“Never mind. It doesn’t really matter what you call me. Anyway, you never told me why you were here so early.”

“Well, I woke up a few hours ago and figured I might as well get some work done.”

Giles’ mouth dropped open in shock. (Ethan actually wanted to do work??). “What brought on this change in personality?”

“What do you mean?”

“Let’s just say that you were never known to have an enthusiastic attitude towards working, Ethan.”

“People change, Rupert. You should know that better than anyone.”

“I do. But I never thought it was possible for you to change.”

“Neither did I. But when I came here and saw the caring relationship you have with Willow, Xander, and Buffy, it struck something inside me. For the first time, I realized how wonderful it could be to have someone care about you. Since the day I was born, there has never been anyone in my life that cared whether I lived or died.”

“You’re wrong. I have always cared about you, Ethan. You just made it really hard for me to show that.”

“I know. I’m trying to change that. Coming here was the first step in my quest for maturity. Hopefully, one day, these kids who view you as a father figure will look at me the same way.”

“I have no doubt about that. If you show them that you are really trying to help them, they will start to respect you. They have an amazing ability to forgive, I’ve witnessed it over and over again. If you demonstrate to them that you regret your actions in the past, they will forgive you. I’ve always known what a extraordinary person you are, Ethan, and I’m certain that Willow, Buffy, and Xander will also recognize that one day.

Ethan hoped Rupert was right. There had been a great emptiness in him for such a long time that it had become an old friend to him in many ways. He had mistakenly tried to fill that void with witchcraft, but, while doing spells was very exciting, it never caused him any happiness. Ethan admitted to himself that one of the main causes of that emptiness was his inability to let himself get close to anyone. But coming to Sunnydale had shown him what it was like to have a family, one that cared about you and didn’t abuse you. When Ethan had left Sunnydale the last time, he had made a promise to himself that if he ever met Rupert again, he would not cause trouble. And, Ethan was going to do his best to keep that promise. He realized that since he had been appointed Willow’s watcher, he had a chance to become a part of this group and maybe, one day, he would be able to call this small group of people his own family.

********

A loud knocking roused Angel from his deep sleep. He glanced over at Willow to see if the noise had woken her, but it had not. Angel sighed in annoyance when he saw the time and wondered what would possess the person outside the door to come to someone’s door so early. He sighed again and rose from the bed. Angel quickly pulled on a pair or pants and walked over to the door. When he opened the door, the person standing before him was the last one he had expected to see. “Buffy?”

“Hi, Angel.” Buffy looked over her half-dressed former lover and couldn’t help feeling a pang of longing in her heart. But she quickly suppressed it, knowing that she had to move on. “Can we talk?”

“Of course.” Angel invited her into the hotel and led her to the kitchen area. “Do you want anything to eat?”

“No, I’m not really hungry. Besides, you probably don’t have much food here anyways.”

“Oh, but I do. Ever since Willow and I began living together......” Angel stopped speaking, belatedly realizing that his words could hurt Buffy tremendously. “I’m sorry, Buffy.”

“No. Don’t be sorry. It seemed to take forever, but I’ve come to accept you and Willow as a couple. I’m not saying it doesn’t hurt to think of you and Willow living together, but I know that you two love each other. Giles told me all of the things that happened while I was gone. It lessens my pain a bit to know that you two truly do love each other. With every day that passes, I know that the hurt will decrease and, one day, I will feel happiness instead of sadness that you two found each other.”

Angel looked at the heroic woman standing before him and wonder surged throughout him. He marveled at how much Buffy had matured since he had met her in that alley so long ago. Knowing that his presence in her life had played a little part in Buffy becoming such an amazing woman caused Angel to feel great pride. “Buffy. I...”

“I know, Angel. Sometimes, I even surprise myself.”

“It’s not that, Buffy. I always knew that you had the potential to become something very special. But ever since you came back, I was afraid that the pain you felt over my relationship with Willow would cause you to isolate yourself from everyone that cared about you. And, a part of me couldn’t bear that to happen. We had always been so close and it would hurt if we suddenly became strangers. Fortunately, that doesn’t look like it will occur and I want you to know that, no matter what happens, you will always have a place in my heart.”

Angel’s words caused Buffy’s heartache to lighten a bit. She had been scared that Angel would not want anything to do with her now that he had Willow. “Thank you, Angel. That means more to me than you’ll ever know.”

“I really do mean it, Buffy. Anytime you want to talk about anything, feel free to call me. I don’t ever want you to cut me out of your life.”

“I couldn’t do that, Angel.”

“Good.” Angel and Buffy smiled at each other, both realizing that while one relationship was over, a new one was beginning.

At that moment, Willow walked into the kitchen and was surprised to see Buffy. “Buffy? Why are you here so early?”

“Hello, Willow. Can we talk?”

Part 22

As Sunnydale gradually grew darker, two figures could be seen walking on the path that ran throughout one of the graveyards.

“So, how did it go?” Angel asked Willow as they were patrolling.

“Well, it cannot be said that Buffy and I are as great friends as we used to be, but I believe that, with time, we will become closer,” Willow replied.

“That’s all you can hope for, Willow. Buffy is not someone who would abandon the people she cares about. Just give her time.”

“I will,” Willow smiled up at Angel, glad that she had someone as understanding as him.

“What are you looking so happy about?”

“Oh, nothing. It just occurred to me how lucky I am.”

Seeing the love shining in Willow’s eyes, Angel couldn’t help hugging her that very minute. As they held onto each other and whispered their love, the outside world ceased to exist. But that world suddenly made its presence known again in the form of a blood-thirsty vampire.

Before Willow could pull her stake out, the vampire disappeared in a cloud of dust, leaving Willow and Angel staring at Buffy. She smiled at them and said, “Haven’t you guys ever heard of laying down on the job?” A sly grin suddenly came across her face as she realized her words could be taken in a different way. “Of course, I hope I never find you in that position.”

Willow and Angel glanced at each other, neither of them knowing how to reply to Buffy. But as Buffy looked at the uncomfortable looks on their faces, she rolled her eyes and said, “Relax. I was just joking. Believe me, it’s not like it would be such a bad thing to see Angel naked again.”

Willow’s mouth immediately dropped open, she had never heard Buffy talk like that before.

“Close your mouth, Will. I was just messing around. Now, I’m going to go look for some more vamps. Catch you later,” Buffy strolled away, not even realizing that she had left Willow and Angel in a state of shock.

They looked at each other again, both thinking the exact same thought, (What happened to Buffy?).

Part 23

As Buffy walked through the graveyard for the second time, she prayed that she would meet a vampire. She was in the mood to kick some ass. The image of Willow and Angel holding each other flashed in her mind again and made her bad mood even worse. Buffy knew that she had behaved like a spoiled child when she had seen them together, but she couldn’t help it.

Buffy had promised herself that she would not show how much it still hurt to see them together and she intended to keep that promise, no matter what.

(Now, all I need is big, dumb vampire to take my anger out on).

~~~~~~~~~

“Whoa,” Willow said. “Buffy was sure acting strange.”

“That’s an understatement, Willow. But I do wonder what was wrong with her. She seemed to be in such a good mood earlier....Oh, damn.”

“What?”

“She must have seen us kissing. You know how much the thought of us together hurts her and that was probably just her way of hiding her pain. Buffy has always had a hard time showing weakness.”

“You’re right, Angel. Stupid of me to not consider that she would be patrolling. She must hate me now.”

“I’m sure she doesn’t, Willow. My only suggestion is to give her time and I have no doubt she’ll be back to her normal self. Don’t worry too much about her. Buffy’s a fighter.”

Angel and Willow moved further into the graveyard, both silently wondering if Angel’s words were true. But their worry over Buffy soon disappeared as they became involved in fighting off a group of vampires. The way they moved together was remarkable, at least it was to the hidden figure observing them.

(Well, this is the last thing I expected to see when I came back to Sunnyhell). Spike chuckled to himself as he thought of all the damage he could do to that bitch of a slayer now that she no longer had his sire by her side. (Things are about to get very interesting).

Part 24

“Spike, why did you make us come back here? You told me that we’d never have to see this nasty place again,” Drusilla said.

“Dru, I promise to get you out of here as soon as possible, I just need to find the Gem of Amarra and then we’ll leave.

Drusilla sighed, “If you say so, Spike. But I don’t like being here, the air positively stinks of the slayer.”

Spike laughed, “Yes, it does. Why don’t you go for a walk, baby? I should be done soon and then I’ll come looking for you. Remember to keep yourself hidden from the slayer, we don’t need any complications.”

Without a word, Drusilla walked out of the room causing Spike to heave a sigh. He knew it was a bad idea to bring Drusilla back here, but he didn’t want to leave her by herself. She had changed since they had left Sunnydale and he was afraid that she would do something harmful to herself if no one was around to watch her. (I only hope I find the gem soon and then we can get the hell out of here).

~~~~~~~~~~~~

As Drusilla walked through Sunnydale, she thought about how she had lied to her Spike. She had told him she didn’t like being here because of the slayer, but that was a lie. The real reason she didn’t like being back in Sunnydale was because she still could feel Angelus’ presence here. She expected him to be hiding behind every corner she turned, but her expectations were never met.

Even now she could hear his voice inside her head and it seemed to grow louder as she neared one of the graveyards. Suddenly, to her surprise, Angelus appeared a few yards from her. And, he wasn’t alone. He was talking to the slayer’s red-headed friend. Drusilla waited for Angelus to snap the girl’s neck or drain her, but they still kept on talking. And, Dru realized that her Angelus was gone and in his place stood a weak version of the vampire she adored. This one loved humanity and wanted to protect it, not destroy it.

As Drusilla watched, the couple began to kiss and she saw that they were in love. The feelings they had for each other were strong and it seemed that nothing could tear them apart. (I wonder....Might be interesting to see how strong their attachment to each other is). Drusilla began to laugh as she thought of how much the union between the red-head and Angel would have hurt the slayer.

Just then, that nasty slayer came running up to the couple and began talking to them. Drusilla moved closer to listen to what they were saying and, from what she could hear, the slayer was apologizing. The two girls hugged and walked away from Angel.

Dru trailed after Angelus as he began walking in the opposite direction from the two girls and he soon arrived at a hotel. She followed him as he ran up the stairs to the second floor. Before he could get the door to his room open, Drusilla spoke his name.

Part 25

Angel turned around and groaned as he saw who had said his name.

“Drusilla, why did you come back here?”

“You don’t need to know why I’m back. I just wanted to tell you I missed you.” She moved closer to Angel and wrapped her arms around his neck. She bared her throat, remembering how Angelus had loved it when she had done that.

Angel extracted himself from Drusilla’s embrace and said, “No, Dru. I’m not the man you remember.”

“I know. I just wanted to make sure. I’ll leave you alone now.” Angel watched her walk away and wondered if she meant what she had said. He had a bad feeling he hadn’t seen the last of her.

Angel opened the door to his room and walked in. He wanted to decorate the room before Willow came back from her meeting at the library. (And, I want to show her how much I missed in her few hours she was apart from me).

Angel became so involved in preparing the kinds of food that he knew Willow liked that he didn’t hear the door open and close. Consequently, he was surprised to hear Willow’s voice calling to him. He peeked out of the kitchen to see her standing in the next room with her back to him. Angel snuck up behind her and wrapped his arms around her.

“I thought the meeting would last longer, Willow.”

“By the time I arrived, no one was there and the slay---Buffy told me to go home.”

“Oh, okay.” Angel thought Willow’s slip of the tongue in saying Buffy’s name was strange, but put it out of his mind as Willow turned around and began to kiss him.

“I’ve missed you, my Angel.”

“Same here.” Angel pulled away from Willow, surprised at her aggressiveness. (Maybe she’s just hungry). “Willow, did you want anything to eat?”

“No. I just want you,” she replied and began undressing Angel.

“Well, I can’t say that I’m complaining,” Angel chuckled as Willow dragged him off to the bedroom. When they reached his room, Willow pushed him down onto to the bed and straddled him.

Angel smiled up at her, “I’m really beginning to love this new side of you, Willow.”

Part 26

“So, did the Watcher Council tell you of any impending prophecies, Ethan?” Giles asked.

“No. It’s boring business as usual.”

Giles shushed Ethan and told him to be happy about the fact that no trouble was coming. He then looked over at his slayers and asked how the patrollings were going.

“There doesn’t seem to be that many vampires around anymore. I think they’re on vacation or something. Do vampires go on vacations? I mean, it wouldn’t be much of a vacation if you couldn’t go outside during the day.”

Before Buffy could ask more pointless questions, Giles interrupted her. “Willow, is there anything new I should know about, in regards to slaying?”

Giles waited for a response, but none came. He looked up from the notes he had been taking to find Willow staring into space. “Willow, is there something wrong?”

Willow finally heard the voices around her calling her name and apologized for not paying attention. “I...uh..I guess I must have spaced out there. Sorry.”

“Are you feeling alright?” Giles asked.

“Yeah. I just had such a strange feeling a few minutes ago, almost like something important is going to happen. It’s gone now, though.” Willow picked up a pencil and began tapping it nervously. She sensed that something very bad was going to occur, but had no idea what it was.

Suddenly, the odd feeling was back and it was stronger this time. Willow reached up to rub her forehead, hoping that the feeling would go away and noticed that something was wrong with her hand. She looked closer at it and noticed she could see right through it.

Willow jumped up, knocking her chair back and said, “Something’s wrong.”

The group sitting around the table looked over at Willow and gasped.

“Willow, you’re disappearing,” Buffy said in a frightened voice.

Willow began to scream as she was pulled from the library to an unknown place.

~~~~~~~~~~

After making love to Willow, Angel lay next to her, stroking her hair. “That was wonderful, Willow. Have I told you how much I love you?”

Willow rolled over and smiled at him. “No, Angel. In fact, you’ve never told me that you love me.”

Angel choked as the face in front of him suddenly changed. He had just made love to Drusilla and not Willow. (Oh my god. What’ve I done?).

Angel sprang from the bed and dressed as quickly as he could.

“Why are you leaving, Angel?”

“Drusilla, you can’t know what a horrible mistake you’ve just made.” Angel turned and began running towards the library, hoping he could get to Willow before something bad happened. Halfway there, he ran right into someone and knocked the person over. Angel helped the person up and apologized until he saw who it was.

“Spike.”

“Well, if it isn’t the wimp formerly known as Angelus. Nice to see you have your soul back.”

“Not now, Spike,” Angel said as he started to walk away. He wanted to run, but he had the strangest feeling......

Angel fell to the ground. Something seemed to be pulling at him...

Spike watched as Angel rolled around on the ground and wondered what was wrong with his sire. He moved closer to see what else Angel would do and then blinked in shock as Angel disappeared.

Before Spike could move from the spot he was standing on, he heard voices yelling. Buffy, Ethan, and Giles saw Spike and ran over to him.

Buffy began screaming at Spike, asking him what he did to Willow. He stared at her blindly and only said, “Angel’s gone.”