Another sunrise has come, which means another day has begun for us upon this new planet we now call home. I still find myself longing for the familiar sights and smells of Thundera. To be able to look into the sky and recognize the stars that lie above me. To be able to run through the feather meadowsbehind the Lair and swim in the small lake we once frequented. To see and touch all the friends and family I left behind, Tyben, Seyan, Barlo and so many others lost…forgotten to all but us.

We have been upon this strange world for over three weeks now. Tygra and Panthro have begun to build our new Lair and we have help from our new friends, the Robear Burbils. Lion-0 is dealing well with the massive changes his body went through while in suspension. I personally, find the changes unnerving and a partof me hates Jaga for what he did. Yes, it was Jaga who caused the change. Tygra discovered this when he was able to access some of the computer information. So far only myself, Tygra, and Panthro know the truth behind our young Lords growth spurt, and fornow we plan to keep it that way.

I find that I have now been forced into the role of mother for the twins and even at times Lion-O. I take this duty as it is and try to advise them in the best fashion I can, but I am woefully lacking in this area. I find that Kit has become my shadow and Kat has become Tygra’s. Both still wake at night with the nightmares of Thundera exploding, and, I am not ashamed to admit, so do I. Panthro has yet to morn the loss of his Father, and we all have yet to come to terms with the loss of Jaga.

As to myself, I am still struggling with my feelings for Tygra and my promise to Jaga concerning Lion-O. I know that the promise must be kept, but it is so hard to deny everything my heart wishes. Right now I am trying to spend aslittle time around either of then until I can come to terms with my feelings and accept the fate that I now have. I fear that the road ahead is going to be a hard and lonely one for us all, but together I know we will survive what lies before us.

The cheetah closed her journal and placed it into her bag. She made her way over to the cook fire where Snarf was preparing breakfast. "Good morning Snarf." She greeted the nursemaid.

"Oh, snarf..snarf, good morning Cheetara." He went about getting the cheetah a plate of food. "Here you go, burrrrr. It’s not much but it’s hot."

"Thanks." She glanced around the small camp they had set up. "Where is everyone?"

"Snarf, Panthro, and Tygra are at the building site. The kittens are organizing some supplies. And Lion-O is off exploring. Snarf…snarf."

The cheetah went over and sat on a small rock off to the side of the camp, her mind once again wandering over her current problem. "Get a grip girl." She ordered herself. She looked down at the plate of half-eaten food and forced herself to finish the small meal. "Waste not, want not." She chuckled to herself as one of Seyan’s favorite phrases sang through her mind. "Snarf, I’m going out for my run. I’ll check in later." She waved in parting and with a burst of speed took of into the sunrise.

She ran. This was her time. This was her way to forget her troubles, or at least try to. She was finding that even when she was able to get away, her problems seemed to follow her. No matter what she did, her mind kept returning to her problem with Tygra and Lion-O. She decided to stop by the small brook that ran near the Lair site and soak her feet in the cool waters. "How am I going to get through this?" She asked to the empty forest around her.

"Get through what?"

The cheetah jumped at the voice and was instantly in a defensive stance. "Lion-O!" She relaxed her posture. "Don’t do that."

"Sorry," he stood their looking uncomfortable, "I just heard you over here and…"

"No, I didn’t mean to snap at you." She gave him a gentle smile. "Gods Cheetara. Get a hold of yourself." She gave herself a mental kick. "Did you want something?" She asked as she settled her feet back into the fast moving waters. She could hear the lion shuffling his feet in the dirt like an erring cub would do when they had been caught in the act. She found herself looking at her new Lord and felt a twinge of guilt for the anger a part of her mind held towards him. She still saw him as the boisterous 12-season old cub that had gone into the capsule, and in many ways he still was. "Tygra was right. He has so much to learn, and no time to learn it." She then gave him another smile and patted the grassy ground beside her. "Come on, you have something on your mind. I can tell."

"Do you miss it?" He asked as he sat next to her in the grass. "Thundera I mean."

"Everyday." She answered simply

"Do you ever feel…" he stopped and started drawing in the dirt with one of his claws.

She reached out and stopped his hand. "Feel what Lion-O?"

"Guilty." She gave the lion a confused look, "About surviving when…"

"Yes I do." She turned away from his eyes so that he would not see the tears beginning to build in her own. "They say that it’s normal. That the feeling eventually goes away." She kicked her feet, sending a small spray of water towards them.

He started playing in the dirt again. "Do you believe that?"

"Yes," she lied. "So if it goes away why do I still feel guilty about my parents? About Nydia and Tyben?" She added silently to herself. "It takes time for a wound to heal Lion-O, and sometimes no matter what you do the scars always remain."

"I miss Father." His voice cracked as he fought the urge to cry.

The cheetah quickly wrapped her arms around the youth. Pulling his head on to her shoulder, she began to rock him gently. She could feel him still fighting the emotions at war inside him, "It’s alright." She smiled slightly as she recognized the tone in her voice that Seyan had often used. "Don’t hold it in." She could feel his body begin to shudder and felt the dampness of tears on her bare shoulder. "That’s it let it out." She sat there holding him, allowing his grief to pour forth and perhaps even start his healing. She just held him, gently rocking him and humming a soft tune. She waited.

He clung to her, accepting the sanctuary her arms offered him from the memories…from the nightmares that haunted him, even when awake. A part of him still felt like the cub that had crawled into the capsule and that part was screaming out for the comfort the cheetah was offering. He could hear her soft humming and gradually his mind began to relax. The next thing he knew hewas being gently shaken. "What?" He found himself looking up into Cheetara’s face.

"I’m sorry," She apologized, "but it’s getting late."

Lion-O glanced up to the sky and saw that the sun was now passed the mid-day point. When he had found the cheetah it was still early morning. "Did I fall asleep?"

She nodded, and gave him a smile. "You needed it. Feel any better?"

"A little." She gave him another nod and turned to head back to the path. "Cheetara." She stopped and looked back at him. "Thank you." She rewarded him with another smile and a small bow then disappeared into the forest.

The tiger mentally slapped his wandering mind back into the task at hand as he once again checked his calculations. He ran a frustrated hand through his thick red-striped mane and growled low in his throat. He then crumpled up the paper and tossed it over his shoulder.

"Hey Tygra." He turned to see Panthro waving at him. "We’re heading back for the night. You coming?"

"I’ll be along later.I need to finish these figures for tomorrow." The panther waved again and he and the kittens made there way back to the campsite. Tygra turned back to his table and took up a new sheet of paper and with a determined mind, set to work of his calculations again. He had no idea how long he stayed bent over the table drawing by the dim lamplight, but when he finally gave the work an approving nod he was stiff. He placed the corrections he made with the rest of the blue prints and reaching out stretched his stiff and sore muscles. He turned when he heard the sound of soft footsteps behind him and the smell of a warm meal assaulted his nose. "Have I been working that long?" he asked the figure that approached him.

"Panthro and the kittens have been back at camp for over five cycles Tygra." Cheetara gave him a disproving glare. "You’re working yourself to death again."

He gave the cheetah a tired smile and accepted the food she handed him. "No choice." He said between bites. "Had to get those figures done for tomorrow."

She walked over and leaned against the table, her eyes searching his face. "You’re exhausted. You are going back to camp and going to sleep."

"Cheetara…"

She held her hand up, stalling his arguments. "And I will not take no for an answer. You will not do us any good if your mind is so tired you can’t think." She motioned to the remains of his meal. "Finish up now."

He chuckled at her tone. It reminded him of his mother’s. "I guess I could use some sleep." He dug back into his meal and quickly finished the remainder. "Would you like me to eat the crumbs too?" His face cracked with a tired, but mischievous smile.

She smiled, rolled her eyes, and gave the tiger a playful clout on the back of his head. "You are impossible." Her teasing quickly stopped when she found her hand grasped in his. She stood looking at the intertwined fingers, her heart suddenly pounding in her chest, her breath catching in her throat. She found herself pulling away from the tiger, trying to move back, to regain control of the feeling starting to boil in her blood.

Tygra watched the cascade of emotions that crossed the cheetah’s pale face. He felt her try to pull away, but he held, not wanting to let her go. "Cheetara…" He said

"Tygra…" She replied at the same moment.

Amber eyes met amber eyes, both trembling with the emotions that threatened to burst out of them like water from behind a dam, both feelingthe longing beginning to boil with in their blood, and both knowing that it was a longing that they could not answer. With a final caress of her cheek and a look of pure regret in the tiger’s eyes he released her hands and stepped back.

"I’m sorry." He said as he went to gather his tools from the table. He stopped when he felt the touch of her hand on his shoulder; he shrugged it off without thinking and regretted it when he saw the look of hurt cross her face. With a sigh he reached out and took her hand back into his.

"What are we doing Tygra?" She leaned into his body again, "How are we going to get through this?"

"I don’t know, "He wrapped his arms around her slim body, "But we’ll find a way." He felt her pull away and reluctantly released her.

"We better get back before they wonder what happened to us." She said as she gathered up the dishes she had brought his food on.

"Yes," he answered and picked up his pack of equipment. "Ready?"

She nodded, and then as an after thought reached over and reclaimed his hand in hers, "don’t want you wandering off in the dark now do I." She winked at him, a touch of her earlier teasing returning.

He returned the smile, "No, we don’t want that to happen." Together, hand in hand, tiger and cheetah walked off into the night.

The panther wandered round the perimeter of their camp, his sense alert for any disturbances in the currently silent night. His ears twitched at the sound of a twig snapping and he softy moved to the spot he heard the sound from and froze. There, still encased in the shadows of the forest, stood the tiger and cheetah. That alone did not cause the panthers concern, but what they were doing did. He had found them entwined in each others’ arms, locked in what looked to him like a rather passionate kiss. He felt his anger start to boil at this sight before him.

"What on Thundera do they think they’re doing! She’s promised to Lion-O now." The anger exploded and the panther burst into the clearing. Tiger and cheetah quickly broke apart and gave the panther a shocked look.

"Panthro?! What…"

The glare he flashed the cheetah stopped her mid sentence. "What on Thundera are you doing Tygra?" He turned his glare to the tiger

Tygra returned the glare. "This is none of your concern Panthro."

"I disagree tiger."

Cheetara stepped between the two. "Stop it both of you." She scolded. "And Tygra’s right, this is none of your concern."

His dark amber eyes flashed with his anger. "You," he forcefully approached the cheetah causing her to back away, "are promised. Or has that slipped your mind?"

"I do not require a reminder of that, Panthro." She hissed her eyes narrowing.

"It seems to me that you do." He looked back over at the tiger.

Cheetara growled low in her throat. "I am able to handle things… Hey Let go!" She demanded when the panther grabbed her arm and started dragging her back to the camp.

"Get out of the way Tygra." Panthro ordered when the tiger stepped into his path.

"Let her go." Tygra growled, taking a defensive stance.

The panther narrowed his eyes, "and if I don’t?" He pushed the cheetah off to the side and also took a fighting stance.

Cheetara quickly regained her balance and turned her shocked eyes to the two friends circling each other. "Stop it. Both of you."

She dashed in between them again, but they continued to circle. When the attack came, not even her reflexes were fast enough to stop it. She watched as tiger and panther crashed into each other, both bent on forcing the other to concede. Despite the fact she knew she shouldn’t, she dashed over anyway and grabbed the panther's arm, trying to pull him away from the tiger. "Panthro stop!" She cried out and was sent flying back when she was struck face on by the panther’s fist.

He turned when someone grabbed him. Turned and struck out with all his might, and froze, but not fast enough. He watched in horror as she flew backwards and landed with the sound of air being forced from her lungs and a sickening thud of her head on the hard ground. "Oh Gods!" he started to run over but was shoved aside when Tygra ran by.

"Cheetara!" The tiger cried as he came crashing to his knees beside the prone cheetah. His eyes quickly taking in the blood that flowed from where her head had hit the ground and the bruise now starting to appear on her pale face.

"Is she alright?" The panther asked, all his anger turning to concern for his friend.

Tygra held his breath when he saw her start to stir slightly. "Run back to camp and get me the kit Panthro." The panther nodded and dashed back to the camp. "Cheetara?" He softly spoke as he brushed some of the blood-streaked mane from her eyes. "Open your eyes." He watched as she stirred again. "That a girl, come on just open your eyes." He let out a breath of relief when here eyes fluttered open and she gave him a confused look.

"Tygra?" Her voice was a little shaky, "What hit me?" She tried to sit up only to have the tiger’s hands force her back down.

"How do you feel?"

"Like I just ran full force into a wall."

He chuckled, "Well yeah that does kind of describe Panthro." He turned when he heard the sound of an out-of-breath panther running into the clearing.

"She’s awake?" He asked, still trying to catch his breath and handing the tiger the med kit.

"Panthro, remind me not to do that again." She said. Her voice was still shaky but held a touch of humor.

"Ok, try and sit up now and let me clean that wound." The tigers gentle hands eased her into a sitting position, "This is going to sting a little." She hissed slightly as he applied the antibiotic cream. "Ok, let’s get her to her feet and back to camp."

"Well it looks like I got my way despite everything." She laughed lightly as the tiger and panther gave her a confused look. "You stopped." She was rewarded with a small smile on the faces of her two dearest friends.

"What in Thundera happened to you?" Lion-O asked when the trio reached camp, his eyes locking onto the bruise now spreading across the cheetah’s face.

Tygra and Panthro looked at each other, a nervous look crossing over both their faces. Cheetara, however, came to the rescue. "Sparing accident." She gave the lion an embarrassed smile. "I darted when I should have dashed."

"Your alright though?"

"I’m fine, Lion-O. I think I will head to bed now though." She gave the boys a tired smile and wink "Night all."

"I’m going to turn in. Too." The panther nodded his goodnights to the others and made his way over to the sleeping shelter they had built. He stopped when he saw Cheetara looking in on the kittens. "Are they alright?" He whispered as not to wake them. She nodded and, with a finger to her lips signaling him to be quiet, took his arm and led him away from the sleeping kittens. The panther gave her an amused glance and raised one eyebrow in question, "Sparing accident?"

She laughed lightly "Well it was true in a way."

The panther suddenly stopped, "Cheetara," she turned to face him. "I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have lost my temper like that."

"Panthro, you have nothing to be sorry for."

He gingerly touch the bruise that now painted the cheetah’s face, "you call that nothing?"

"No. I call that a mistake." She took his hand in hers and led him over to a convenient log pushing the large panther onto it. "I understand why you did it Panthro, and I understand your concern for what you saw."

"He had no right…" he snarled a touch of his earlier anger returning.

The cheetah sat on the log beside him, "That’s where you are wrong." He gave her a confused look. "Tygra and I have been close for a long time now."

The panther raised an eyebrow questioningly at the cheetah, "Define close."

"It has been beyond friendship for a long time."

"Then why?"

She fell silent for a moment considering her next words. "That is a question I have asked myself now probably a million times. And I keep telling myself the same answer. There was no other choice. The line of Symia has to go on or everything we fought to save will die."

"How does Tygra feel about this?"

"He was mad when I told him, and then we had other things on our minds before we really worked it out." She stood and walked over to where she could see the sleeping kittens. "I wish I knew how he really felt. He’s starting to hide so much from me, it’s like he is pulling away."

The panther came up behind her. "Have you talked to him since?"

She shrugged, "The subject comes up and we both find a way to avoid it. He has had so much loss in the recent past. First Tyben and Seyan, then Thundera, now…" She turned to the panther and smiled sadly, "Listen to me. Here you were trying to apologize and I go off on a self-pity spree."

"If you need to talk…"

"No, I’m fine. This is something I need to deal with myself."

The panther put his hand on Cheetara's shoulder. "All right. But if you change your mind, you know where to find me."

She gave him a thankful smile, "Yes, and I appreciate it Panthro. But now how are you doing?"

"What do you mean?" He wasn’t sure why, but he suddenly felt uncomfortable in this conversation.

"Barlo," she said simply

The panther’s mood suddenly turned defensive at the cheetah’s words "I have dealt with that in my way, Cheetara."

She ignored his tone and continued to push anyway. "Dealt? How? Have you given him the Journey yet? Have you grieved for him?" She waited, as the panther remained silent. "Tell me Panthro, how have you dealt with it?"

"There is nothing to offer for the journey, is there, Cheetara." He stood and moved to leave the clearing. "How can I take time to grieve? We are fighting to survive on a strange world." He turned back to her, his face still holding a small trace of his anger. "I still offer my ear to you if you need to speak but do not bring the subject of my Father to light again."

She watched the panther disappear into the shadows and lowered herself back onto the log. Her eyes turned skyward and she watched as the stars did their nightly dance within the heavens. She listened and heard Lion-O’s and Tygra’s voices from by the fire, she heard the kittens moaning in their sleep as the nightmares once again gripped their minds. With a heavy sigh she rose and made her way over to her sleeping area and pulled out her journal.

Well sunset has claimed yet another day, and with it has broughtmore troubles to us. It is getting more and more difficult to for us to control our tempers among each other. Between being unable to grieve properly for our dead, and the stresses of trying to build a new home on a planet we, as of yet, do not understand, we have no room for relaxation let alone taking the time to try and come to terms with all that has happened in the last few weeks. I believe that this fact is beginning to wear heavy on all our minds and with each passing day it is making it harder andharder to complete the simplest of tasks. I find myself wondering was it worth it? Was our survival so important that we now must live out an existence that we no longer desire? What is the use of surviving if our heart…our very soul is dead to us?

I sit here now thinking of what is to come, but wishing…longing for the past. For everything I held dear and loved…my parents, Seyan and Tyben, the gentle Nydia and Claudius, and Tygra…true he did survive but as in all of us a part of him died with Thundera. And I fear that it was the best part of him. Since arriving here he has become withdrawn, short tempered, and spends more and more time away from here. I know I cannot blame him, for the sight of him causes me extreme pain. I can only imagine what it is doing to him. We are both alive yet each of us is a part of the other, and we are forced to remain apart. This is slowly killing us. No, not our body or our minds, but our hearts. And what is the use of being alive if your heart is dead.

Panthro made a very good point during our conversation this evening. How can we grieve when we have nothing to offer for the Journey? I feel that our grief would be reduced to some level if we were able to lay our loved ones to rest. But we have nothing left to offer. Nobody, no remains, no mementos, only the memory that they once existed remains within our minds, and for some of us those memories will fade with time. Once gone no one will remember the bloodline of our Clans. No one will know of the greatness our cultureonce held. We are lost now, on a road that none before us has traveled and more than likely none will follow behind us. For what have we to offer a new generation? A home? No, we have only a planet that we can irk out our survival on. A future? How can weoffer that when we see no future for ourselves?

For the first time in my life I find myself longing for the void, for death to takes its cold grip upon my body and end this battle within my mind and heart that I no longer have the strength to fight. But I know that I must survive, for we are all in need of the comfort of each other, and if one of use should pass on, just one, then the others will be lost. It would be like functioning with only half your brain. Panthro is our strength and stubbornness, Tygra our intelligence and calm perspective, Kat and Kit our mischief and cunning, Lion-O our innocence and heart. And me? What am I? I am the wedge driven between our Lord and his Second in Command because of a promise. I am a surrogate mother to two kittens that do not wish it. I am…an outcast.

"Cheetara?"

The cheetah looked up from her writings and smiled at the kitten standing with only a blanket wrapped around her. "Kitalee, what are you doing up?" She asked as she closed the journal.

The kitten’s feet padded lightly on the grassy floor of the shelter as she made her way across to Cheetara, "I had the dream again."

Cheetara set her journal aside and allowed the kitten to crawl up into her lap, "Tell me about it." She encouraged as she gently rocked the kitten.

Kit leaned into the cheetah’s embrace and curled herself further into her blanket. "We were all on Thundera still and we were happy and playing. Everyone was there, Jaga, Uncle Claudius, Aunt Nydia, and someone I’ve never seen before, but she knows me."

"Go on, tell me what we did."

"We were having a picnic out behind the lair. And all of a sudden everything started to shake, like before we left. You and Tygra grabbed me and Kat and got us to a ship, but before we could get away the ground opened up and we fell in. Then I woke up." The kitten fell silent for a moment. "Cheetara, what’s going to happen to us?"

Cheetara could feel the kitten shivering through the blanket and with gentle fingers tilted the girl’s eyes to her own. "That is a very good question Kit, and one I don’t know the answer to."

The kitten fell silent again, "I wish we could go home. Then everyone would be happy again and not mad at each other anymore."

"We have been a little short tempered haven’t we? Let me be the first to apologize for that Kit. We have had so much on our minds that we forgot about the other things in life. How about tomorrow we talk everyone into going to the lake and taking a rest day? I think a little fun is in order." She smiled down at the half asleep kitten on her lap, " But for now why don’t we put you back to bed?"

"Can I stay here?" Kit asked in a sleepy voice.

Cheetara shifted herself so the kitten could curl up in the bed beside her and sat there watching Kit sleep for several moments before she allowed herself to be consumed by the depth of sleep.
 
 

The cheetah’s suggestion was met with protest at first, but the others soon admitted that a rest day was in order. The lair was nearly done and most of the supplies had been sorted, and it had been nearly four weeks since they had allowed themselves to relax and not worry about just surviving. The day itself was perfect. The sun was shining and warm. The lake was calm and the waters clear. And despite their earlier protests the others quicklysurrendered themselves to the mood of the day. Lion-O and the kittens off splashing around in the lake with Snarf watching over them from the bank, Panthro off with some of the warrior maidens teaching them some of the hand-to-hand combat moves he knew. Tygra sat under the shade of a tree telling a story to the maiden’s children. The cheetah allowed herself a small smile as she watched her friends laugh and play from her perch in the braches of the tree and for the first time since landing on this world it felt like home.

"Cheetara!" She glanced up from her thoughts, "Come on, the water’s great!" Kat yelled as Lion-O and Kit also beckoned to her.

She smiled and waved back to the kittens and sprang down from her perch. She heard Tygra send the children off to enjoy the cool waters of the lake and she slowly wandered over in his direction. "Enjoying the day?" She asked when they had reached each other.

He nodded and watched the antics taking place in the lake, "We needed this. You were right to suggest it."

"Kit gave me the idea last night." She paused, "Tygra, do you think that this world will ever be home?"

"I think that in time, yes it will, as long as we are together we are home." He smiled at the cheetah. "But you look as if you have more on your mind then just that."

She nodded, "Panthro mentioned something last night after we returned to camp." The tiger stopped waiting for her to continue. "To make along story short, he reminded me, we have nothing to offer for the Journey. Nothing to help ease the pain of laying our dead to rest."

Tygra’s face took on a thoughtful look as he considered the cheetah’s concerns, "I remember Jaga mentioning a ceremony once used during the wars, but it escapes my mind. Something to do with writing…"

The cheetah’s eyes suddenly flashed in recognition, "I know what you’re speaking of. I can not remember the exact ceremony but I remember enough." She turned as a soaking wet Lion-O came trotting over to them. "Just the lion I needed to speak to."

He stopped at the cheetah’s welcome, "What?" He took on a suspicious look

She chuckled at his expression, "Nothing to worry about my Lord. Tygra and I have come up with an idea on how to help those we lost make the journey."

In a dark room, before a boiling cauldron, he stood. He watched them as they romped and played about the field. His glowing eyes narrowing in his anger at the sight before him.

"Soon, my dear Thundercats you will know what terror is. You will know that wrath of Mumm-ra!"