I Discover Adulthood
Coming back from this digression and the story of my relationship with my children, I moved from the Shangrila apartment complex in the fall of 1978 and became a house mate of my new friend Chris, the son of my second mother Evelyn, and newly divorced himself. Within a week or two, Sherri also moved in, and she and Chris would eventually marry. But before that marriage took place many things happened, and it was during these few months together that I would truly begin to discover who I really was inside. I would finally find the path that I should have been on much earlier in my life.
The three of us became a very unusual family unit. I had known Sherri before I met Chris, but I never would have guessed that in a very short while I would be sharing the same roof with her. The way Chris introduced himself to me and, at the same time, asked me if I would consider moving out of my apartment and into the house he was living in, was extrememly unusual and very humorous. The thought of that first meeting will always bring a smile to my face, and I often wonder if Chris remembers the meeting itself. In any case, the three of us spent several months together before a fourth "family" member would join our clan. Our experiences together could easily take another major section to describe, but to just name some of the ones that come immediately to mind, I would have to mention our over night camping trips up Millcreek Canyon, where we blew our minds twice over a "ghost" that ran by our campsite. There was also our "pre-mission" beer bust for Pat, when Lady, the Golden Lab that belonged to either Chris or Sherri (I can't remember to which one) got drunk and fell over backwards, and Pat climbed up into a large tree and scared the hell out of everybody except me. There were the many Hearts games that the three of us played, during one of which we fed Lady hot dog wiener after wiener until she puked. Whole pieces of hot dog just rolled out of her mouth, and we laughed and laughed over it. There was the Truth or Dare game that I walked into one night after work and ended up in bed with the girl that was there originally to be the bed partner of another guy. The unique resolution of that night was one of a kind, and one that we seldom talked about in the years afterwards. There was also the strip poker game, the ending of which found those in attendance out in the street in the buff playing frisbee in the middle of the night, running to hide ourselves in the bushes when we saw car headlights turning down our street. There would be the Lagoon trip immediately after my arrival at the airport coming back from a week-long pinsetter school in Michigan. And most of all, there would be the countless hours of talking and laughing together. The relationship that was formed between the three of us did unexpected wonders for my self esteem, and I will always owe a great deal of indebtedness to these two people who literally became my soul family, and who, to this very day are still seen in that same light.
In the summer of 1978 the owner of the house that we were living in decided that she no longer wanted non-Mormons living there. She had agreed to let me move in the house with Chris after being told that I was a returned LDS missionary, and when she discovered that I was a non-believer, and a smoker as well, she literally threw us out. So, we found an apartment at Villa Franchaise on Fifth East and about 34th South, by Granite High School. We had been there only a short while when a major change would happen in all of our lives. First of all, we would make a new friend, a fourteen year old boy named Mark, who, in the early fall of 1979, would come to stay a few days with us, and end up staying nearly four years. Secondly, Chris and Sherri would suddenly get married while on a trip to Las Vegas and move out, leaving Mark and myself to begin a new chapter in both of our lives.
After Chris and Sherri moved out, the apartment had only one room full of furniture -- my own bedroom. When Mark moved in, he brought only the things he had with him. He slept on the sofa, and I let him use part of my closet for the few things he had. Mark took over the bedroom that Chris and Sherri had, and still not sure just how long he was going to stay, Mark brought his bed and all the things he wanted from his dad's house, but kept all of his smaller personal belongings in the moving boxes. He lived among these boxes for several months. Finally one evening, he removed everything from the boxes and put them in their places. He had decided that this was going to be his home for the foreseeable future. My mother and dad gave us a dinette set, an old but servicible one, and for living room furniture we started out with three black, furry beanbags. Luckily, Mark also had a small entertainment center, a stereo, and a TV. We soon found a folding chair, and in time, piece by piece, either given to us by family members and friends, or bought for small amounts from Deseret Industries or other similar used goods outlets. Mark's dad helped him, and in turn myself, financially, and with my own meager income, we slowly built a very decent and, I must say, very happy and interesting life together. Mark and I became very good and close friends over the next nearly four years, and this friendship has lasted and has even become stronger to this day. If I were to ever write about Mark in the "People" section of my history, which I probably won't do, it would most assuredly be one of the longest descriptions that I would ever write about someone, because the time I spent with Mark was some of the happiest years of my life.
In the winter of 1979 there was a change of management at Wasatch Bowling. When the bookie/manager was replaced, I was certain that the owner would pick me for the management position. When a stranger walked in and announced that he was to be the new manager I gave my two week notice and quit. I loved working at the bowling alley, but I did not want to continue being only the mechanic. I felt I had progressed sufficiently to take on this new responsibility, and I also felt I deserved this promotion. When it didn't happen, I realized that it would now probably never happen, and that I was therefore on a deadend street in this job. So, though this was a very hard decision for me to make, I made it quickly. By the end of January I found a job that promised to be much more promising as a career than working in a bowling alley, and I realized that this development came as a blessing in disguise.
I became an installer for Western Electric, and most of my duties took place on the corner of First South and State Street in downtown Salt Lake City. One of my first duties was that of cable mining, which required that we climb up into the racks of cables and remove long lengths of unused cables that had been buried under hundreds of newer ones. Occasionally one of the workers would cut the wrong cable, and this would cause telephone outages in those areas that were serviced by that working cable. On one occasion, someone (not I, but it could easily have been me) cut a cable that service several thousand long distant lines between Utah and California, and it took most of the day to splice the cable back together.
Up in those racks it was very warm and sweaty, and it was very difficult to stay awake and alert. One day the temperature up in those cables was so high that some of us fell asleep. Suddenly we heard a gruff voice telling us to climb down the ladder. At the bottom we faced the ominous presense of the supervisor that was known for his meanness, and who very sternly warned us in no uncertain terms that if we fell asleep again, we would be immediately terminated. The person next to me tried to give excuses why we fell asleep, while I just apologized and assured him that it wouldn't happen again. This supervisor apparently liked how I had reacted, and from that point on, he treated me very nicely and even became kind of a mentor to me. Soon after that I was given several "in charge" responsibilities and even duties in the office doing payroll, inventory, and other tasks that positioned me for greater duties.
Unfortunately, in the fall of 1981 we began to hear about the possible breakup of the Bell system across the country under the hands of Judge Green, and by the end of the year we learned that the divestiture would eliminate many jobs, as well as the Western Electric subsidiary itself. The first to be eliminated would be the most recent employees, of which I was one. In December of 1981, I became unemployed, and it wasn't until June of 1983 that I was again able to secure full time employment.
While I was on unemployment I spent much time reading and researching different areas of study. Having been completely unchurched since my divorce from Susanne, I eventually came to feel a slowly building emptiness, and I decided to fully come to terms with the religion I had vacated and see if this was to be a permanent thing or not. Along with my reading I began to look at other churches to see if the emptiness I was feeling could be filled by centering on any church at all. In the course of my search I happened into a small Catholic chapel on Main Street in downtown Salt Lake, and I had a rather long conversation with the priest there. When I left, I felt very renewed and uplifted. He was a very wonderful person to talk with, and his suggestions and advice were much needed in my life. Soon after that, I found in a Sunday newspaper circular an ad for a correspondence course in Catholicism. I wrote and began the course. After the first send-in lesson, I received back the entire rest of the course. He instructor wrote and told me he was very impressed with my answers, and then wrote that he felt I shouldn't have to wait for each individual lesson. I learned very much about the Catholic Church and thereby acquired a deep respect and reverance for its basic tenets. It felt much kinder and freer than the Mormon Church, and I realized then that I would never be able to go back to such a restrictive lifestyle that the Mormons demanded of me. Though I occasionally entertained the thought of actually becoming a Catholic, I never really seriously suspected I would. In any case, by the spring of 1983, I knew in my heart that the Mormon Church, though it does good for many who live that lifestyle, is a fraud, that, at least, it certainly isn't the only truth to be had in life. I also knew it would never again be for me. It took until the winter of 1988, though, before I would actually choose a church to regularly attend, even though my agnostic nature would always remain in tact and keep me from immersing myself fully in any organized religion.
In June of 1983 I was finally able to secure new employment. The job market had begun to ease after many months of the economy being very slow and many people being out of work. On my weekly visit to the Job Center the person helping me told me about a job in banking technology and asked me if I wanted to look into it. I said I definitely did. I interviewed at Valley Bank Operations Center, and during my interview, me in very casual clothes and full facial hair, the job was described (I didn't understand much of what was shown to me), and then I was told that IF I got the job I would have to change my appearance. I wanted the job so bad that when I left the interview, I went immediately to the barber and got my hair cut. Then I shaved off my beard. Then I called the Operation Center and told them that they now HAD to give me the job because of what I had just done. They laughed and said they'd let me know in a few days. Two days later they called me and told me I was hired. Overnight I went from T-shirts to dress shirts with ties.
My duties at the Operation Center were to take over the on-line computer system. The job had been newly created because it was becoming to large of a job for one of the vice presidents to maintain along with his other duties. Over the next few years I expanded the computer network of the bank, installing many lines and computers, and then programming everything to work the way it needed to work. I loved the work, and the work atmosphere was excellent. It was like working with an extended family. Lunch times were fun, bank parties were hilarious, and the camaraderie among the coworkers was of the highest and warmest quality. I have many wonderful memories of those years. Unfortunately, it wouldn't last.
I had been with Valley Bank and Trust for about three years when they surprised me by promoting me to Junior Officer status. It immediately increased my salary nearly 500 dollars per month. I felt like I had become a rich person, and I basked in my new found wealth. A few years later, however, everything changed. Valley National Bank of Arizona made a deal with Valley Bank of Utah, and the two banks merged, with Valley National taking charge of our operation. The news was not good for our operation center. Our staff of about 150 employees was reduced to 17. The very people that had hired me and had thereby changed my life so wonderfully were eliminated. My own job was eliminated as well, but I was offered another job with them as a Computer Technician Level II. I lost my officer status, and about 300 dollars a month in salary. In compensation, I was given a van for my work, and many opportunities for overtime work. For the next few years I would do mostly interesting work, and I would self teach myself much about PC type computers, how to repair and program them, and how to use the many types of software that ran on them. The greatest drawback was the supervisor that came to Utah from Arizona. He was a very difficult person to work for, and after two years of his mini managing, I threaten to quit if the bank didn't take him back to Arizona and let his two underlings take over the operation. I guess I should have made these waves earlier, because within a week, he was shipped back to Arizona. The work for the next few years after that was quite nice. We had a two man operation, and neither of us was the boss of the other. We just divided up the territory, and worked our own areas the way we wanted to. I took over the tracking and computer logging of our work, and the other person took over most of the in-house repairs.
Unfortunately, this would change for the worse also. A few years later, the bank computer system was updated, all for new equipment. Because our work load was reduced greatly because of the new equipment, it was decided that my partner and I would now take over all of the ATM machines in the Utah bank system. I learned to really hate working on the ATM's, and I slowly liked the rest of my job less and less. Around 1993 I saw the chance to leave what I was doing, and move into the telecommunication department of the bank. I applied for the job, was given it, and I became an office person in downtown Salt Lake City. I had my own office on the fifth floor of the Bank One building on Third South between Main Street and West Temple, and I came to really enjoy working downtown. I could walk so many places downtown to go to lunch, and my increased income allowed me to eat like a king when I wanted to. Occasionally, I would skip lunch and go onto Temple Square and attend the noon organ recitals, or extend my lunchtime and go to the recital and to lunch. It was during this time that I started ushering at Abravanel Hall on Friday nights, remaining at work that day until it was time to walk up to the symphony. I nearly always rode the bus between home and work, and the hour ride each way gave me ample opportunity to do two of the things I really enjoyed doing, but seldom did them when not on the bus: read and listen to music. My classical music collection expanded greatly, and I read many books during those years.
Again, and unfortunately, this situation would change again for the worse. Around 1996 Valley National Bank sold out to Bank One of Columbus Ohio, which in and of itself wasn't all that bad. However, a couple years later, Bank One decided to outsource our telecommunications department, and the contract was sold to AT&T for 1.2 billion dollars. It was a terrible move, and we learned in later years that this was done by certain top persons in Bank One to greatly inflate their own pocketbooks by the kickbacks they received from AT&T. When the move proved to be the undoing of Bank One, those persons responsible were fired. Nevertheless, the deal had been done, and we had to live with it. The department fell into a state of chaos, and nearly two years later, seeing no light at the end of the tunnel that got darker and darker and becoming more and more frustrating, I ended my long bouts of depression over the chaos and quit the bank completely. In May of 2001 I once again became unemployed. This time around, though, I had financial resources to live on for awhile. I decided to spend some of my resources on some new toys, mainly musical ones, and concentrate on musical pursuits. This part of my life brings me sequentially to the section of my history that I have called "My Current Status and Future Outlook." However, before going to that section, I would like to insert another important time in my life that took place alongside my work with the banking industry, my second, and last marriage of my life.
Go back or go to My Second Marriage.
