I would like to offer my sincerest apologies to 
Mary Chapin Carpenter.  I tried to stop this, I 
really did.

By the way, this got angsty--but it was all out 
of my control.  I was just trying to get the right 
syllables.  

"These Shirts" to the tune of "This Shirt" (abridged)

These shirts are new and ugly
(All my old clothes thrown away)
They've been shot at more damn times
Than I can count, anyway.
I wear them beneath my jacket
With the buttons done up tight
So tight I should replace them
But I'm not about to try.

These shirts have many buttons
(Way more than I'll ever need).
Only do the middle two up
Right here where anyone can see...
These shirts are the ones I've worn
To every case since '99
When my buttons gaped open 
Ev'ryone pretended they could not see

Old shirts were forgotten on my bed
Or lost on closet shelves
One shirt soaked up a lot of my blood
In the ep "Milagro"
One shirt was lost for three whole years
After my abduction
When I found that certain one
There was no way I'd wear it again

New shirts are freaking ugly
With no freaking history
(The old ones I now abhor
Too many bad memories)
I wear them beneath my jacket
With the buttons done up tight
So tight I should replace them
But I'm not about to try.

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