"Pervitude"
to the tune of "Waterloo" by ABBA

Oh my, it's Friday night and chat is full of brethren
Hooboy! The reading starts and quiet falls but wait a minute then
Our Saint grips the wall of the shaft
Go down; please insert (cue the laughs)

Pervitude -- I was sucked into the gutter, man
Pervitude -- someone said cuffs? oh gawd, pass the fan
Pervitude -- always in taste even when it's crude
Pervitude -- what else to do when the script is lewd?
Pervitude -- fully embracing my pervitude

Oh my, the line just said that Scully will be coming
And now the camera moves in, it's a long shot, juices start a-running
With vocab like "hard," "groan" and "feel"
And scenes where a person must kneel

Pervitude -- there's heavy breathing and I know why
Pervitude -- obviously Mulder should jump that guy
Pervitude -- go for it Scully, restrain that dude
Pervitude -- sure that the agents are in the mood

With choice bits on straddling things
And UST when the phones ring

Pervitude -- latex can be used so many ways
Pervitude -- yessir, he's got her locked with his gaze
Pervitude -- imagine a little and poof! They're nude
Pervitude -- it's not just nice, ooh, it's really goooood
Pervitude -- gotta love Fridays with pervitude

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